The Category 5 typhoon that hit the South Pacific last week never would have happened if the Church ordained women or married men.


Dale Price | Homepage | 01.07.03 - 2:05 pm | #

One shameful statistic in our society is simply this: women are horribly underrepresented in professions starting with the letter P. Hasn't anyone noticed the dearth of women policemen? And, goodness knows, there hasn't been even one woman president - not counting, of course, the Hillary Clinton co-presidency. The solution for much of this is painfully obvious: Ordain women, and drop the celibacy requirement.
... | 01.07.03 - 2:18 pm | #

The coffee at my company's snack bar wouldn't have been so weak this morning if the Roman Catholic Church would drop its medieval patriarchy and ordain women and married men. Whoever doesn't see this must be in league with the coffee bean farmers.
Edward Trumbo | Homepage | 01.07.03 - 2:22 pm | #

One might imagine that the Vatican's celibacy fetish and Kim Jong-il's nuclear ambitions have nothing to do with each other. But that would be like saying the peanuts have nothing to do with peanut butter.

Think about it: an out-moded dictator seeks to build weapons of mass destruction to sell for profit - how does this differ from a reactionary pope who builds weapons of mass instruction and keeps a celibacy requirement solely to preserve church monies by not having to pay for children of priests?

The brutal subjugation of peasants is matched by the brutal subjugation of women, who, in being denied ordination, are denied the most basic human right - the free exercise of religion.

Pope JPII, tear down that wall! Tear down the wall that requires priestly celibacy, which has indirectly caused everything from the fish die-off in California's Klamath River to the no-call on 49er's Chike Okeafor, who should have been penalized for interfering with Rich Seubert on the final play Sunday.
T O' | 01.07.03 - 2:23 pm | #

I just know that I wouldn't end up with so many odd socks if I could have my dryer blessed by a woman priest. But nooooooooo! That old man in the Vatican doesn't care enough about the obvious utility of women priest married to male priest that could truly understand the tragedy of missing sox and stained shirts and thus offer effective blessing to ward off these travesties!
John Hearn | 01.07.03 - 2:38 pm | #

Scientists today anounced in a press release that the cause of ever increasing waist lines of Americans has definitely been linked to the Catholic Church's refusal to ordain women priests and drop its doctrine of celibacy for clergy. Dr. I. M. Duhm spoke to a packed house of True-Christians (tm) saying that women need the strict discipline found within the religious life to curb their appetites. Duhm stated that within the secular world "there are no restraints upon eating. Indeed, modern marketing only exacerbates the problem."
When attacked by the lone biased and homophobic Catholic Church member who assaulted Dr. Duhm with ad hominem slanders on why women could not become nuns or members of religious orders, Dr. Duhm responded by pointing out the heavy stigma surrounding nuns and the sexist nature of the Church for maintaining the Dark Ages practice of shutting women off into nuneries where their freedom and rights were brutaly taken from them. Dr. Duhm explained that full integration was essential for women's well being.
The Catholic would not relent in his rabid defamations of Dr. Duhm when he attempted to cleverly change the subject by bringing up the non-related issue of celibacy. Dr. Duhm politely and with the patience of a saint explained that the two issues were completely unrelated and that the Catholic (whose name was never obtained) was quite wrong to bring up the subject. Dr. Duhm then went on to explain the integral connection of women's ordination and celibacy and why the two were inseperable and that priestesses would require and are allowed by law to marry.
All attendees responded favourably to Dr. Duhm's analysis of the problem and agreed whole-heartedly with his solution and vowed to do everything within their power to force the Catholic Church to change its barbaric practices for the good of humankind. Indeed, most attendees stated that they had already seen this problem coming and had already dropped the celibacy requirement and were in the process of ordaining all women who showed any interest in losing weight.
Jason | 01.07.03 - 2:40 pm | #

We must have married lesbian priestesses liturgically dancing down the aisle with their cloned babies on the feast day of St. Margaret Sanger, or the terrorists will have already won.
Edward Trumbo | Homepage | 01.07.03 - 2:44 pm | #

...but before one judges the Raelien cloning cult too harshly, said a spokesperson for the reform group Voices of the Faithful, one must consider the root causes that drove them to fixate on attaining immortality: the stubborn refusal of the Catholic Church to ordain women and drop the celibacy requirement.

Rob R | 01.07.03 - 2:46 pm | #

St. Blog's is dominated by men. With the exceptions of Amy Welborn, Eve Tushnett, Relapsed Catholic, Karen Marie Napp, Lively Writer, and a handful of other women bloggers, men dominate blogs with their logorrhea and huffing and puffing in comment boxes.

The solution for this is painfully obvious: Ordain women, and drop the celibacy requirement.

We cannot tolerate intolerance. If we save just one life it will have been worth it. It is worth it to this one starfish. Violence only produces violence. Blogs don't polarize people, people polarize people. Why do we insult people to show people that insulting people is wrong!? I for one will not stand for this. We must remember the forgotten.
Brian | 01.07.03 - 2:54 pm | #

In a recent study published in Scientific American, astrophysicists have noted that at its present rate of fuel consumption, the Sun will burn out and become a neutron star in approximately 5 billion years.

However, this looming ecological disaster (which disproportionately impacts minorities) will not occur if the Catholic Church drops its celibacy requirement and ordains women.
Dale Price | Homepage | 01.07.03 - 2:57 pm | #

I feel sure that the nagging weight of my glasses against my nose has something to do with woman's ordination. Indirectly at least.


anon | 01.07.03 - 2:58 pm | #

I think to myself, if priests could have sex what a wonderful world it would be...

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world,

But only if priests aren't celibate and women can be priests.

John Quill | 01.07.03 - 3:07 pm | #

Church Remains Silent As Gas Prices Continue To Rise.

The price of unleaded gasoline reached an all-time high yesterday, ath 1.49 a gallon, forcing many families to make some tough choices about how to spend their money.

Kim Smith makes a daily 30 mile commute each way to her job, and an additional 10 miles to pick up her son from day cares. Though not Catholic, she admits she would be interested in the Catholic priesthood were it open to her. This would dramtically reduce the number of miles she drives, reducing the crushing demand on gasoline. But, alas, the "universal" Church has no room for priests who happen to be divorced Wiccans with three children from two marriages just because they are women.

There are countless others like Smith, who continue to drive long miles and push the demand, and thus, th price of gasoline to the statosphere.

The solution for much of this is painfully obvious: Ordain women, and drop the celibacy requirement. But, apparently, the Catholic hierarchy is deaf to these calls.

The next time you fill up, remember to thank the backwards Catholic hierarchy, who apparently think "blessed are the poor in spirit" also applies to those who cannot afford to drive to their jobs.


John McGuinness | Homepage | 01.07.03 - 3:31 pm | #

I apologize for the bold. I failed to close my tag.
John McGuinness | Homepage | 01.07.03 - 3:32 pm | #

John, don't feel bad. I suspect that the failure to close your tag is related to (say it with me) priestly celibacy and the lack of women's ordination.
T O' | 01.07.03 - 4:29 pm | #

Re: John Hearn

It is so obvious that anyone with half a brain can see that the tragedy of missing sox is DIRECTLY related to the tragedy of missing sex, which is obviously solved by *** ordaining women and doing away with priestly celibacy***. And anyone who doesn't agree obviously doesn't have a brain at all.
Rose Lowery | 01.07.03 - 6:49 pm | #

It's fortunate that at the time of the Big Bang there weren't celibate priests and non-ordained women, else it would not have happened and the universe would not exist.
Jerry Atrick | 01.07.03 - 7:41 pm | #

Here is a fact which no one can dispute: When women were enslaved by men, they never complained; now that they are free, they complain.

While you all work it out during your coffee breaks in the stuffy offices with artificial air and bizarre fragrances, I will spend Wednesday stalking, luring, tricking and shooting ducks and having my puppies swim around the pond with freshly killed ducks in their mouths, feathers and all. Pray for me I don't shoot the utterly forbidden Canvasback.

Am I mocking you all because you have to work tomorrow for slave wages, which would be higher if women were barred from the workforce? No. I, too, will have to return (eventually) to the politico-economico condition of work ... in the near future, I promise. It was tee-shirt weather again here today; it would be nice if there were a smidgeon of rain tomorrow morning to bring the ducks out quacking.

Animals are great mentors. One may learn things from them quickly which typically take years and years to learn from books, schools, and coffee break conversations.

Take time, for example. Time is different in the office than it is among animals. Have you ever watched time advance on a sun dial? Well, it takes a lot of time to see it advance, but advance it does. Or, wait a minute. Is it really the time advancing, or is it the shadow marking time on the dial which is moving?

Let this be your first lesson in the study of time.






John L. Sillasen | 01.07.03 - 9:56 pm | #

Human beings of every generation have been subjected to a wicked constraint that shackles all people from the day they are conceived to their grave.


Catholics could not accept that Galileo was correct about geo-centrism, so they abused him.


Since the Catholic Church won't drop its celibacy requirement and ordain women, we will always be subjected to effects gravity while living on earth.


Please set us Free!


Mel | 01.08.03 - 1:12 am | #

If Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner hadn't been so distracted by pondering the gender-inequities of the Roman Catholic Church, he would have ably fielded that simple grounder, and the Red Sox would have won the 1986 World Series. It is painfully obvious, in retrospect.
dylan | Homepage | 01.08.03 - 6:55 am | #

As we all know the prayers of women are more efficacious than those of men (look at Our Lady - 'nuff said). So if a Catrholic priestess had given the blessing at Lambeau Field last Saturday the Packers would have been ahead at the half and if the Catholic Church dropped the celibacy requirement they would have beaten the Falcons...
GOR | 01.08.03 - 7:08 am | #

If the Catholic Church ordained women and dropped the celibacy requirement...

nah, the Bears would still stink.
Dave Pawlak | Homepage | 01.08.03 - 8:53 am | #

I hope I did this right. It's too long maybe.

-------------------------------

Unless you’ve been living under a rock lately, you’ve heard all the scuttle about Mattel’s Limited Edition Lingerie Barbie®. There are outraged parents, kids throwing the toy into rivers because "no child should play with this" and so forth.

Pish posh. Who do people think they are? Donna Reed? Wally and the Beav?

Get with it, folks, it’s the year 2003. Our children are much more mature about these things. At least, that’s what we’ve been trying to do for the last 40 years – give them mature attitudes about sexuality.

So what if Barbie is wearing garters and a peek-a-boo peignoir? She’s got the body for it after all. I think it’s great that our daughters have a toy that teaches them to be comfortable with showing off their bodies and their budding sexuality. And think of how much it will encourage them to get some exercise. You can’t get a body like Barbie’s sitting around on the sofa watching dumpy little Dora the Explorer.

On top of that, there are two other important social benefits to Lingerie Barbie. In the first place, there is a huge economic problem that this doll can help solve. Clothing stores are overloaded with high fashions for girls ins sizes 4-12 that include little strappy tops that show off young, healthy midriffs, short shorts, stretchy hip-hugging capri pants and the like. Lingerie Barbie teaches girls that these clothes are A-OK to wear. So girls will ask their parents for them, and parents will comply. That will help not just local and national economy, but worldwide economy as well. That’s right. Most of those clothing items are made overseas, by impoverished people who need their jobs just to eke out a meager living. As rich Americans, we owe it to the underprivileged to buy this clothing for our daughters, granddaughters, nieces and friends.

The other social benefit is what Lingerie Barbie is doing for our young male population. I just read something on the Internet that revealed that boys aged 11-14 have suddenly become interested in collecting Barbie dolls, thanks to limited edition models like Lingerie Barbie. Isn’t it fantastic that our boys are getting in touch with their interest in feminine things so early? We can’t afford to prevent this healthy attitude!

It doesn’t take Rocket Scientist Barbie to figure out that Mattel is doing a great service to this world by distributing Lingerie Barbie. More power to them! Why, nobody would be questioning this incredibly intelligent and socially conscious product if it weren’t for the archaic morals still permeating our society. The obvious solution is to get rid of celibacy and start ordaining women in all religious organizations.

------------------------------------------

Ugh, I think I need to go take something for this indigestion.

--Sparki
Sparki | 01.08.03 - 11:23 am | #

Browns lose due to male hierarchy

Many people have attributed the Cleveland Browns loss due to letting their guard down and becoming over confident. But let us examine the real reasons for this loss. If we were to go into the teams locker room before the game or during half-time we would find members of the clergy there available as team chaplains. We would observe the total one sidedness of an all male priesthood, there was no one there of the female sex in which to help those players get in touch with their feminine side. We needed to put the cleavage in Cleveland. If only we had woman priestesses, then the feminine influence would have led them to contemplate their female side and thrown a "Hail Mary" pass instead of a short pass and not getting out of bounds before the game ended. This "short pass and get into position to kick a field goal mentality" is what is wrong with the church today. Men would rather do it all themselves instead of putting it all into a woman's hands. Having unmarried male priests promotes this false idea of men being able to do it all alone. The idea of celibate men in the confessional giving advice on sexually related matters is hypocritical. There is a Dear Abby column and a Ann Landers but no Dear Joe or Dear Butch columns, people would prefer women's advice in the confessional over a repressed XY chromosome type. What is more fitting then having the XX in the confessional. A pope Joan Paul would have kept the scandal from occurring in the church.
Jeff Miller | Homepage | 01.08.03 - 12:27 pm | #

I'm not Catholic but I feel I should probably add my 2 cents since I am a female seminarian. (The problems in my church body [the ELCA] are *not* due to ordaining women but instead stem from pandering to the gay agenda and dissent from scholastic types that need an anal-cranial inversion.)

I thought the writer's argument was stupid as well. Sexual abuse happens in every denominational body -- the Roman Catholic church is not special in that regard. The only difference is that most other church bodies pounced on the abuser ASAP and took them out of commission -- no second chances.

If there should be any argument for the ordination of women and lifting of the celibacy requirement, it should be for the reason that women played a very large role in the early church and clergy were married up until the 10th century. (The celibacy requirement was added because of concubinage and the potential for the abuse of power in these relationships.)

May I also assure you that the ordination of women would not lead to Wiccan rituals in church? If there is a doctrinal standard that everyone is held accountable to, these things will not happen. None of my female classmates nor I have any plans to start up drum circles, blessings of trees, prayers to Vishnu, or anything else bizarre. There's enough of that coming from my male classmates!!!

And since I posted, I might as well play along:

Martha Stewart was suspected on charges of insider trading that led to her resignation from the board of the NYSE. Apparently, she'd sold some stock shares in a company whose stock plummeted a day later. The maven of modern housekeeping seems to have failed at finding another outlet for her obsessive-compulsive fussiness. Imagine if only she could have been a priest(ess) and used that ummm... talent on something such as the building committee for a church or on training the Altar Guild people. Sigh... if only women could be priests and the celibacy requirement could be dropped.

*crawling back into the shadows now*
jen | Homepage | 01.09.03 - 12:38 pm | #