Dark Comments
Um...you look hot.
No really...you're sweating and shit.
Don't you have a little towel (or at least a MEDIUM one for that big ol' head) in your back pocket?
Take a wipe break, brutha.
Damn.
(whining)
I have a headache - I have cramps - I can't look at pictures now - where's the diatribe - why do I have to be first - I hate my diet - I'm hungry - I have to pee...
(REALLY whining now)
Why is Laurie always first?
Hey! I'm bleeding too!!!!! YAY!!!
You can both just stop right now. My EARS are now bleeding. Take your Menstrual Shuffle and shuffle off.
If you ain't usin' that towel, pass it over here.
It's like I've been stabbed.
Good God, woman. Enough!
There are things in life I don't need to know.
The frequency, rate, flowspeed, volume, viscosity, color, and strength of your cycle is right at the top of that list.
Ack!
Damn.
You bleedin' too?
Only from the ears.
Now hush about it! Ew!
It's a natural progression or whatever the big word is that I'm supposed to use.
I don't know WHY it bothers you so much.
We are women...we are givers of LIFE....the bleeding helps shed our uteri (jot that down) of the old blood.
What's the big deal?
The big deal is that you're ooging me out, and I'll have to eat lunch soon, and the last thing I wanna think about is your...your...
EW!
I just fucking GAGGED.
Yeah, yeah, giver of life, blah blah blah, beautiful cycle, yadda yadda yadda...
Pass.
I will delete your shit if you keep it up.
For real.
This is nasty.
Wnat me to tell you what happened to me this MORNING?????
NO YOU WON'T DELETE MY SHIT!!!!
You have NEVER deleted my shit.
Ever.
What is UP with YOU?
I want you to do the unusual and shut the fuck up.
I realize it's as foreign to you as gymnastics and sensible shoes, but try it. You might like it.
I know I will.
I want you to do the unusual and shut the fuck up.
I realize it's as foreign to you as gymnastics and sensible shoes, but try it. You might like it.
I know I will.
Santa not bring you that Personality you asked for? God.
I don't like you when you're Angry Damian. Tell a bitch what the problem is....
Jock itch?
Athlete's foot?
Ear Wax Build Up?
This comment brought to you by the makers of Tampax...We Got Ya Plugged.
And you seriously need to tone down your voice, bitch. I didn't do shit to you.
Why don't you do the unusual and post something funny?
Like I want to click on 8675 pictures of your NYE bash. Honestly.
No one's interested.
Just because you have the attention span of Hammie from "Over The Hedge" while he's high on speed doesn't mean that everyone can't stop jittering and fidgeting long enough to click Next on the photos, heffa. Why don't you take a qualuud and chill out, and maybe you'll be able to focus your power a little stronger, 'kay?
And I ain't got to tell you shit. I'm not even angry, just grossed out over your womanly issues. Quit it.
And I ain't toning shit down, either. I'm just speaking Yell, your native tongue. You know your ass is fluent.
I think you could have done us a fucking FAVOR and maybe picked TEN good pics, so we wouldn't have to sift through Ugly Ho #67 pics and Marty, the fire breathing idiot. I don't need to see TEN pics of him burping what LOOKS like the SAME cloud of fire!
You are lazy, and have been for the last few weeks. We deserve better. Even if it is your stupid ol' diatribe. Look at poor jali up there.....begging for it.
I feel like I'm at a new timer's blog....when in actuality, you've been doing it longer than most of us.
Write, bitch.
Oh...and my ass is fluent in a LOT of things but BORING ASS POSTS ain't one of them.
...
I am so through with you.
You can kiss my brown ass, Miss Laurie Mean Old Booty Pirate Ass! I've been busy and stressed! I'm trying to get back on track, and instead of giving you NOTHING like SOME people, I try to at least throw some bacon bits and Cheese-Its out there for you to nibble on while I get my writing legs back underneath me. So kiss it.
I'm pretty sure no one has their hand on the back of your neck, forcing you to read my boring shit. I'm pretty sure because no one is out there complaining about getting anaphylactic shock from touching your green tree frog skin. Go read your own shit and crack yourself up, heffa. All coming over here, talking shit and dropping crumbs on my carpet.
GO! BYE!
...
I am so through with you.
You can kiss my brown ass, Miss Laurie Mean Old Booty Pirate Ass! I've been busy and stressed! I'm trying to get back on track, and instead of giving you NOTHING like SOME people, I try to at least throw some bacon bits and Cheese-Its out there for you to nibble on while I get my writing legs back underneath me. So kiss it.
I'm pretty sure no one has their hand on the back of your neck, forcing you to read my boring shit. I'm pretty sure because no one is out there complaining about getting anaphylactic shock from touching your green tree frog skin. Go read your own shit and crack yourself up, heffa. All coming over here, talking shit and dropping crumbs on my carpet.
GO! BYE!
Well, the bacon bits give me sour burps and the Cheez-Its are stale....but what else is new?
Quit your crying, you silly little girlie bitch. I'm the one gagging now.
"I've been busy and stressed!!"
What. The. Fuck. Ever.
Suck it up, soldier. I'm here to Drill Sargeant your ASS into a MAN!
Whiny ass bitch.
This is pathetic.
Well, whaddaya know? I just got inspired to write something.
Wait till you see the diatribe, bitch.
Your name will be used.
Copiously.
Oooooh.....you're gonna write about a sexy ass bitch?????
Yay!!!
No, I'm gonna write about YOU.
Damn, don't you read?
Nowhere did I mention sexy bitches, or Halle Berry, or anyone who would qualify.
I mentioned you.
I know.
I'm a sexy ass bitch.
Ooooh!!! Write about my period!!!!!!
Oooooh!!!
Or write about your sadness.....that'd be good.
OOOOH!!!
Or write about beer!!!! YES!!!
Anything.....please for the love of GOD....write....something.
Sexy Ass Bitch.
Let's break that down, shall we?
Sexy. Whatever. I doubt that word relates to you more than, say, 20% of the time.
Ass. You have a BIG one, and on occasion you ACT like one. I agree with this term.
Bitch. Most def. No debate.
So, dropping the irrelevant 'sexy' from the list, that leaves you with 'ass' and 'bitch'. Combine them to make either 'Ass Bitch' (which I don't ever, ever wanna know about), or 'Bitch Ass', which I'll wholeheartedly endorse.
Hey baby, 2 outta 3 ain't bad.
See?????
This is GOOD!!!
I see a BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!
You can do it!!!!!
Use this....this...."anger" to WRITE!!!!
Dumb Ass Motherfucker....
Let's break it down, shall we?
Dumb? Check.
Ass? You have a flat one. Check.
Motherfucker? You are.
See!!!??
We ALL can play word games!!!!!
I LIKE THIS!!!!!
YAY!!!
And, seriously....ELL OH ELL on the whole "not sexy" shit. You so FUNNY!!
I don't have anything relevant to say... other than DD is suffering from some massive PMS.... oh and I want more FIRE pictures! I would have hiked my way to Dallas for the flame thrower! WEEE
You're a Bat Mutha
Shut Yo Mouth!
Concert looks like fun!!
Although that Marilyn Manson dude is kinda creepy and in a bunch of photos.
I meant to say Bad. Oh well
Now I really wish I had been there. Damn.
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