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Why the shit gotta be the size of MY car, in particular??? Why couldn't it be the size of a Yugo, or Nissan or JEEP CHEROKEE, for fuck's sake???
Hating you fiercely,
Elle
Learn, Grasshopper, from the following parable:
I had this purebred Himalayan cat when I was 12, which I bought with my own money (and allowance was enough to buy 1.65 cans of Coke per month). This cat repeatedly took shits under Mom's side of the bed. "MAME, come get up this CAT SHIT!" was heard during many a night.
One day, the cat did not show up for evening kibbles. I went callin' her in the woods, and mom said in an uncharacteristically even tone, "Uh, you probably don't need to spend time doing that."
Cookie got "disappeared" in the mafioso sense of the word. Sometimes the best part of love is absence.
Well, we know for sure why her previous owners lost their minds on her.
Holy crap. I have an artist's rendering on my site of a dumb pet thing too.
Growing up, I had a weiner dog that climbed fences and trees. No joke. It was wild. I wish I could give you a great outcome of the story, but he ended up on the losing side of dog v. car.
First of all, I apologize that everyone had to read the stuff I get to listen to on a daily basis. Second, Rocky is 125 lbs, Max is 60 and the hell dog is 40. DD would know that if he ever took any of them to the vet. Third, the only exercise DD gets is when he walks that dog so "walk on my friend". And finally, I am an animal person. He's known that for 15 years and he's still here. At this point though, I like keeping the stupid dog around just to watch the daily battle between man and beast! It's much better than the sitcoms on TV!!
DWW, hush. When I want your opinion, I'll email it to you. Now go make me some dinner, woman.
Oops, my bad. You don't cook.
I laughed my ass off at some of the stuff in this post (e.g., "dumber than Pauly Shore asking Anna Nicole Smith directions to Harvard"), but then I got to DWW's comment and laughed even harder. In my mean-spirited little heart, I often advocate deriving amusement at someone else's expense.
Why should I cook when I have such a culinary wizard for a husband? What was that yummy bacon and tang concoction again? Oh yeah - a Brick!
Blecchhhhhh.
First Laurie talks about phlegm, and then you talk about "disappearing" cat shit.
Gross.
DWW - Swear to God, I will ban you. Shut it.
Jenne Lou - Looks like you picked a bad day to go blogrolling, eh? It's Bodily Function Day! Surely you have a story to share.
Southern C - You hush too. Damn Twinkie.
Mona - A fence-climbing hot dog? There's money in that.
Lexi - Yeah, no doubt. I bet they drive by the house just laughing like banshees. "She's your problem now, bitches!!"
Mame - Jotting that down. Thanks for the words of wisdom. Can I get your mom's number? I might have a "job" for her.
Laurie - Well, your car reminded me of shit, so it was a natural choice.
At least the dog didn't shoot its load all over you, D.
ok, I gagged at Kav's comment, lol. I can handle disappearing cat shit, I can handle coughing up phlegm...but yeah. My roommates have a Dalmatian that gets into the trash ALL. THE. TIME. like it's starving or something. Then looks at you all pitiful when you tell it "no".
Good luck with your hell hound, although...it seems to provide a great source of pleasure for DWW, lol.
I love othre people's bad pets. They are so precious and cute. I can jst see this adorable little pup perched on top of a fence looking smug. It made my day!
OMG. Lil' Cujo is definitely a hood dog. You can take the dog out of the ghetto, but...
Mehehee... i had a dog like that. only it was a huge ass rotweiller. 225, solid muscle. she was forever breaking her thick chain and taking a walk...
yeah, try telling HER to stay home!
This is too funny. Cause we know DWW is going to kick your ass when ya;ll get home. And then she will have to post in your absence while you recover, like a sick note from your doctor.
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