Basically, #2 is the answer I've seen most often. Synagogues have group activities for kids. The kids spend some time sitting with their parents, and some time at the groups. This isn't just for Torah service - it's for the entire service. When I was a kid, I'd sit with my dad until the Shma, then I'd be allowed to go out to groups. As I got older, I would have to stay with my dad for longer and longer.
"- One of the parents can watch the children at home, and the other can go to services. This tends to work in Orthodox or more traditional synagogues where families and synagogues have adopted more traditional gender roles. It also works in more liberal or moderate synagogues where one spouse (regardless of gender) is interested in attending services and the other is not. But this results in separating one spouse from the other spouse and kids."
What exactly is that supposed to mean???
What does "traditional gender roles" have to do with one person staying home, while the other person goes to services?
Perhaps the parents take turns each week? ... seriously, this "option" is so laden with negetivity.
Regardless, every shul I have ever gone to, has either done option 2, unless they don't have the volunteers/funds to do so.
And I have to say that the plays and skits at the children torah services I had to go to, never really enthralled me. What I always liked best was when they explained the aliyah right before the person was called up to it.
I didn't mean it to be "laden with negativity," only descriptive As you know, the traditional understanding is that men are obligated to daven in a minyan, but women are not. At some shuls, some men go to daven while their wives stay home with the children. These people have solved the problem. I wasn't making a value judgment.
"These people have solved the problem. I wasn't making a value judgment.
Bruce | Homepage | 11.17.08 - 8:56 pm | # "
1. They haven't solved the problem. You still sometimes are required to have the whole family at the shul, and you are also still required to have your children come to shul so they can be educated. You also have the common problem of the kids wanting to come to shul anyways.
2. The way you contrasted the two methods, (of keeping the kids at home) was most definitely a value judgment.
My synagogue also uses option two, with children able to stay in services with their parents and/or participate in separate children's activities, which include a short children's worship service.
But there is a special twist with respect to the Torah service.
All children are brought to the sanctuary for the removal of the Torah from the Ark and the procession through the congregation, during which all of the children follow the Torah. This allows them to participate in a special way that really seems to create an emotional link with the Torah.
Furthermore, those children that are old enough can also stay to hear the summary of the portion (which precedes the chanting in our service), as well as the chanting and drash/discussion if appropriate.
I like the system a lot.
Interesting post! Our synagogue has 'family services' as well as services where children are 'tolerated'. I'm not sure what the best option/s is/are but this is becoming an issue which more synagogues need to address.
Our shul (downtown Modern Orthodox) is evolving as more parents with children are staying in the city instead of moving to the suburbs. As a single mother, our shul's options (combo of 2 & 5) haven't really worked for me, if I want to daven. Though two-parent families have a great alternative that you haven't mentioned: a 7:30 am Saturday service and a 9 am one. So one parent can go to each while the other does child duty. But the community helps out when other parents with children my daughter's age split services, and sometimes I can leave my daughter with one of the parents for the Torah service. Our rabbi, and our shul, which has a zero-tolerance for children's noises, will occasionally make an exception for me provided my child's utterances are mild (excessive "amen"s). It's a process.
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