I've recently found your blog, and I really enjoy reading it. I think that's really interesting what you said about feeling sad and melancholy. It seems to me that even though so many happy things are on the horizon, it is sort of like a passing of an era for your family, now that both of your children will be married and starting their own families. I think it's perfectly ok to maybe grieve a little for a passing stage of life even while simultaneously looking forward to the next joyful stage.

Also, I liked the pics and videos. I particularly enjoyed the music choice in the first video .
Belle | 05.21.08 - 8:32 pm | #

Your head seems to be in the right space Amber--appreciating all that you have. It's awesome.
Elizabeth | 05.21.08 - 8:55 pm | #

Easy, you like to do for people. Who is more needy than a baby? As they grow they become less and less needy. You sepecifically see their independence as breaking away from that need. As young adults they still needed you. As ADULTS they do not.

But, don't despair! They still need you! Grandkids will be on the way.
brianalt | 05.22.08 - 6:18 am | #

Oh, and as someone that's a bit of a foodie and a wino, I'm jealous!
brianalt | 05.22.08 - 6:19 am | #

Amber dear girl, the melancholy of passing time.
I suspect all good parents feel this.
Your children no longer need you in the same way, but dear Amber, they will still need you, you can be the anchor in their lives, when things get a little rough you will be there for them, your experience and wisdom holding them steady.
I have determined that death is a good thing, I am sure that love awaits there as it did here.
Loved the videos and pictures, and Cat Stevens is a long time favourite.
The melancholy you feel is an aspect of joy, never worry you are blessed.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Paul | Homepage | 05.22.08 - 8:45 am | #

Belle, welcome and thank you; yes, passing of an era is exactly what this feels like. Btw, (you probably know but just in case) the song is by Cat Stevens, "If I Laugh" and it is a long-time favorite of ours.

Elizabeth, thank you, I'm sure you're right.

Brian, yes, I cannot WAIT for grandchildren! I remember becoming closer to my mom after I had Lucy; it opened up a new bond between us. Utterly cool. And if you ever come out here with your wife, let me know and I'll send you a suggestion of where to go where the wines are good and it won't be crowded. Crowds here in the summer can be bad, to where you have to wait in lines, etc., just not worth it and not fun. Always come out for the weekdays, not the weekends, and stay away from the Big Names. Go first thing in the morning, most wineries open around 11am and get steadily more slammed as the day goes on, usually they close around 4pm. Best to eat a late breakfast somewhere, then go out to as many as you can in the same area in the morning/early afternoon, then quit when the crowds start in and go to a late afternoon meal. Anyway, I have more tips and restaurants to go to as well that are fabulous; just ask if you are interested in coming out!

Paul, thank you; I know you are right. Yes, sadness is a part of joy, always. And yes...I think Death is probably not what we are afraid it is either. If there is love there...then no need to fear, very well put.
Amber | Homepage | 05.22.08 - 9:58 am | #

We had a trip planned in October, 2001 and then 9/11 happened and my wife didn't want to travel anymore. :
brianalt | 05.22.08 - 10:36 am | #

I've been having similar thoughts about my kids and family. I think of how painful it would be to miss out on any of...you know....this.

I am not really afraid of dying but I am afraid of missing my family.

URG, this getting old is for the birds!

I love your pictures and movies though...thanks for sharing!

HUGS!
grace
grace | Homepage | 05.22.08 - 12:03 pm | #

Brian, OH! Yeah, my sister went through that right after 9/11; she was working only blocks away. Of course, she had to get over it with her second career so... I'm sorry your wife won't fly still. I wish there was something I could do to help.

Grace, yes...I would imagine your sis-in-law going through her challenges right now is causing some of that reflection for you as well as your kids getting older.

Just love every day we're here and tell everyone we love them, I guess. Every moment. Every second. That's the only thing I can think of to do.
Amber | Homepage | 05.22.08 - 2:30 pm | #

haloscan has been being a bitch - didn't want to waste my time but it looks stable now...
anyway - it looks like it was a really nice day
and I love that whole last paragraph - it's exactly how I feel... just really grateful for every last moment
kitty | Homepage | 05.22.08 - 6:25 pm | #

She'll fly now, just not then. We have to plan the trip.
brianalt | 05.23.08 - 5:44 am | #