Sometimes Haloscan Eats Comments! Use cntrl-c to copy before posting!
Amber, it doesn't HAVE TO be you. I understand why it was you, but you always think it has to be you.
I also congratulate you on your bravery. Way to go and well done. I'm sure it ranks up there with a good kick in the nuts!
As for Dan and Jake, I'd take a shotgun to him too if I had the chance. So that's an easy call for them!
You didn't have to blank out his name. You could have simply wrote, "Hi FUCKING ASSHOLE, this is Amber!" We would have gotten the point.
well I have even more to say now haaaa
but I'll just go with this...
as far as someone having to un-invite the piece of shit - it did NOT have to be you... but I think you did the right thing... the only other person that it could have been is Lucy (or maybe Jake) but as her mother it was very nice (not to mention courageous) of you to step up to the plate!!
although I'm sure as nerve wracking as it was, it was probably equally as nice to FINALLY be able to say something to him
it's awesome that SOMEONE was able to do something about this piece of shit and get him registered as a sex offender - if for no other reason than to FINALLY give you the excuse you need to cut him from your lives
including him in family functions doesn't have to be an issue anymore... that will be nice for you 
any idea why he's not in jail?
Whoa.
I'd hate to be Grandpa right now, but it HAD to be done.
No one should be forced to be uncomfortable at their own wedding.
Actually, everyone connected to him should feel more comfortable at the event because he isn't there.
I wonder if he will ever get help?
Lori - the only help for him is death
well I guess there is always my thought - which is to have his tongue removed so he can't speak... cut off his arms and legs so he can't fight - (while we're cutting, cut off his dick and shove it up his ass for good measure) then if he wants to get anywhere he'll have to bounce around on his wrinkly old balls
yes, that seems fitting
This just goes to show what a wonderful mother you are.
Calling him was a brave thing to do. Good mothers will do ANYTHING for their kids and calling him was the right thing to do.
Lucy is one very, very lucky girl!
Happy Mothers day Amber! You deserve the best! I hope your kids treat you like a queen, you earned it.
HUGS!
grace
What a different attitudes we do find here, e.g. comparing Lori's and Kitty's
I don't think the cutting plan is all that good. His flaws and mistakes are more damaging that most people's flaws or mistakes, but that doesn't mean that it'd be a good idea to have him suffer unnecessarily - the most important thing is that he doesn't cause further damage.
But I don't believe in the value of him getting help. Probably too old. So in that respect I do agree with kitty: the only help is death. But hostile revenge - no.
I thought at first that I would have gotten Mac to make the call, but then I thought nah, I wouldn't have. I don't think you were the only one that COULD have done it. If Dan had rung and said "Hi, this is Dan, Lucy's step dad" and then said pretty much what you did, I am sure he would have gotten the same reaction. I have the feeling that once the Megan's List is mentioned it is all over and he knows it. But, I think something inside you did need to make the call. You had to be the one to save the day. Because you are AMBER SUPER SUB! Because there is a certain closure in being the one that said it. Because you are not a doormat. Because this is your daughter. I would have done it for the same reasons. And I would have done it with Mac standing right beside me, just in case it blew up. My safety net. I don't have to do things like this on my own. I can draw on His strength when I need to.
Amber, I don't know what happened to my comment on your last post.
I think phoning him was a very brave action and means that Lucy's wedding will be less stressful.
I understand that families close ranks when this sort of thing happens, they would do much better to get the perpetrator help or a locked psychiatric ward.
Still it's easy to be wise from a distance, if it had happened in my family, whould I have done the right thing, I hope so, but I don't know.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Amber...
...way ta go girl [hi-fives]
I do feel sorry for the kid that had to be abused for this man to get on megan's list. It's good that he is on that list now, but it must have meant another victim.
The reason I wondered if he would ever get help is that when confronted with the fact he's on Meagan's List, he just quietly said . . . "I understand."
And I wanted to say . . . "WHAT? What do you understand? That you're sick?"
"That innocent lives have suffered and are still suffering?"
"And what are you doing about it?"
???
From my own experience, it needed to be someone besides Lucy, who has enough on her plate with the wedding around the corner, and not your niece, though, when the time is right that might be very healing for her. So I thank you for being the one to make the call. I know how relieved I was when my parents said they would handle a similar situation for me.
I have a question. Presumably it just came out that you, years ago, asked your sil to ask her kids about grandpa. And she didn't. And, again presumably, your niece didn't realize that you knew all these years ago that he was a pedophile and that her mom had a very valid warning that she ignored. If true, how did your niece react to all that? That's another level of therapy she's gonna need, I feel sure. I, too, am grateful she's in therapy. Did me a world of good tho it took me forever and a divorce to get to it.
You've broken the cycle, Amber. I broke it too and so did my friend.
But it continues elsewhere, all too often. Megan's list is maybe the best reason for Quayle to have invented the internet 
(if I'm remembering that warped version of history correctly)
Amber, you have tremendous courage! I admire and respect you for making that call. That must have been one of the hardest things you have done! What an awesome mother your daughter has in you!
Amber, you handled yourself and the situation beautifully again. Graciously, you took the burden off of Lucy's and Jake's shoulders and I'm guessing you found it somewhat a relief yet empowering to have made the call yourself. Sarah's right, Dan could have made the call, but it also helped you to make it. Right?
It's clear there is strength in the reporting of the crime. It empowered others to address it.
Johan's comment showed thoughtful issues. It's the right answer. But as a parent of young children, it's easy to see red and react as Kitty is. I do not believe there is a cure--no matter how much therapy is involved.
Daisy, it was Gore who invented the internet. LOL
Johan and Elizabeth - I have my own issues... and once upon a time I put great thought into how to torture scumbags like that
but that way of thinking isn't healthy or helpful - I don't actually feel that way these days and haven't for a long time (thank god!) but every once in a while it's kinda nice to imagine revenge, ya know?
when it comes down to it though I actually have issues with the jury system because I think everyone is too hell bent on revenge - everyone feels involved and wants to do something
what most people call justice is revenge - there is no justice in situations like this... there is NO way the perpetrator could possibly ever be appropriately dealt with - but certainly roaming free with nothing more than your picture on a web site isn't harsh enough!!
and having their names on a list doesn't help to protect anywhere near enough people!!
Kitty,
It's true what you said about revenge.
Our area recently had a tragedy. A female hiker was killed by a drifter. You may have seen the story about Meridith.
People were SO angry. They were writing about what should happen to him on a local message board.
The moderator finally pointed out that these people didn't want justice; they wanted revenge.
Many people don't realize the difference.
Commenting by HaloScan
