AmericanPapist Comments
These are good ideas for every church!
Personally I don't completely agree with no 4, if it keeps a fidgetty child quiet (but then, I'm an impulsive doodler). In fact, it's just nice to keep in mind on a broader scale, at a movie theater, restaurant, or concert, etc, ESPECIALLY NO 2!!!
Oh buddy, what a great list. I would only add one thing:
*Make sure to use the bathroom BEFORE you go to Mass and tell your children to do the same. If still you need to use the bathroom in an emergency situation during Mass, please do so inobtrusively, refraining from walking in front of the altar.*
There was a couple at my parish who would routinely take their kids to the bathroom during the Liturgy of the Eucharist, which was anything but unobtrusive!
I find it bizarre that he would ask for no crayons, etc, and allow food. In my experience, food is a big no-no because of the varmint/bug issue.
Further, I don't like the sound of this. I would like it better if I knew that Father had taken the time after Mass to mingle with parents of small children, maybe offer some suggestions, some concerns about damage, etc. in a more personal way. Perhaps he has. I hope so.
Hey Matt, here's is the original post by Fr. Richtsteig, which may shed light on his handling of the situation.
http://orthometer.blogspot.com/2...-in-
church.html
Food shouldnt be allowed because there is REAL FOOD being offered. Children should be learning discipline, and that includes fasting. I think people seriously need to learn to teach their children how to behave. Kids can be taught respect and silence, its not impossible if you dont coddle them. A fair amount of humility to be learned by a child is good too, teach them that they are NOT the center of the universe!
I read Fr. Erik's original post-and I'm glad that he's laying down the line! Good for him!
Parents should stop coddling their kids, and give them discipline.
I am a mother of six - ages 13 through 2. We go to daily Mass. I think Father needs to be very careful about encouraging parishioners to correct each other. The main reason many devout and faithful women I know struggle about attending daily Mass with their young children is the very legitimate fear that they will be unwelcome. Women who are living in accord with the Church's teaching on human sexuality often have young children close in age - and they really need the grace from the Eucharist to handle what is an incredibly challenging job. Every trip to the supermarket produces the typical questions: "Are they ALL yours?" "Do you know what causes that?" Young Catholic moms get showered with abuse on a daily basis by a society that has no respect for them. Every mom I know has also experienced this kind of attitude at their Church, too. It is not easy to manage several small children at Mass. Everyone has great days, good days and downright awful days. Usually, those awful ones are capped by "helpful" parishoners who tell you to leave when struggling in the vestibule with a defiant toddler. I am not advocating rampant chaos by any means - and I do not bring crayons, food, etc. - but have my children ever put feet on kneelers or walked on pews? Yes. And I correct them for it. Young Catholic families need a home where they are welcome. How many of you who complain about what children do at Mass have ever stopped to HELP rather than advise or correct? It is possible to HELP!!! There is one woman at my parish, God bless her, who would suddenly appear in the pew wherever a mom was struggling and actually help her by taking a squirming toddler or a fussing baby...
God bless you Marie. Your comment is excellent, heartfelt, and very true. I agree with every word. Thank you for dedication to your family!!!
"Leaving kneelers in upright position" is one of my pet peeves. Why are Catholics today so anxious to kick the kneelers up -- before, during and after Mass? I always thought that in the presence of Jesus every kneeler should be down to support the posture St. Paul commends.
Boots,
You've clearly never dealt with a toddler.
Sounds like the local Pentecostal church will be picking up some new members!
Kids are kids. Get over it. When you actually PRODUCE some children and take them to church, then you can talk. IF you are actually open to life and you have more than one or two, you'll find that not all disciplines work with all children. Keeping track of 4, 5 or more children is more work then you can possibly image. Spare me the “children who think they are the center of the universe” crap as well. You condescending, judgmental little pipsqueak, you have no idea how those children are being raised by the 45 minutes you observe them. You may be seeing that child on the worse day of the week. They could be tired or sick or just bored from Father Monotone and the wooden Indians who fill the pews at Catholic Churches. When your child looks at you and tells you they have to go to the bathroom, you can take them or risk the consequences. I’m sorry they can’t just beam themselves to the bathroom and instead interrupt your looking down your nose at people when you should be praying.
People like the ones on this blog are the reason lots of people leave the Catholic Church.
Well I'm guilty of using the kneelers to rest my feet on when sitting. I don't see how it's all that wrong. It's not like I damage them.
Thank you, Mr. Simmins. A succinct summation.
Perhaps Mr. Peters can grace us with the details of how his parents magically generated quiet and cooperation from his infant and toddler siblings. I've NEVER seen a quiet, still, attentive infant or toddler so I'm very interested.
Flambeaux: by taking them outside if need be. Simple enough. A child at that age isn't going to benefit that much from hearing the Mass in the first place.
I'm not as removed from the realities of experience as some may think. I'm the eldest of six, many of my friends are young parents with multiple children. More often that not it's been ME who takes a kid to the bathroom, tries to quiet a screaming sibling, etc.
I just don't think it's imppossible to manage your kids, attend Mass, and not distract everyone else.
(and sorry I haven't had a chance to read through the rest of the comments on this thread.)
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