AmericanPapist Comments
The shocking conversion of the year: Shelob crosses the Tiber!
Giant Novus Ordo insects attack traditional Catholic churches! Venom turns churches to Novus Ordo temples!
Saint Dominic of Silos, pray for us! And hurry!
the latest craze:
"Liturgical spider dance"
"Spider Server, Spider Server,
Does whatever you need, with fervor.
Spins an altarcloth, any size,
Catches falling hosts just like flies.
Cave! Here comes the Spider Server.
Is he strong? Audite!
He can put all the pews away!
Can he hold up the book?
With six legs tied behind his back -- look!
Ecce! There goes the Spider Server.
At the con--- secration,
Tolls a whole ring of bells.
When they walk the Stations,
Carries candles and Cross as well!
Spider Server, Spider Server,
Friendly parochial Spider Server.
Lack of alb he's ignored.
Liturgy's his reward.
To him,
Mass is a great big bang up!
Wherever there's a hangup,
You'll find the Spider Server!"
The "Spirit of Vatican II" is caught unexpectedly without a disguise.
Having long lurked in the Underdark, the Drow shock the surface world with their first entry in Ottawa's annual Modern Church Architecture Competition: The new Temple of Lolth - A Study in Arachnid-Friendly Space.
With the Church Tank 10 miles away, the Bishop prayed the Cathedral's defenses would hold out until it arrived.
While Christ promised that the gates of Hell would never prevail against the Church, He never specifically mentioned giant mechanical spiders.
=+=
jef - wouldn't that be liturgical tarentella?
The local archdiocese is concerned about the pastoral attitude of its new coadjutor.
"Father, how do we get rid of the spiders?"
"I know! Let's confirm them all and then we'll never see them again."
Cardinal Manony sends his troops to destroy a traditional church.
Scott W takes the lead!
Scott W.
Scott's the one!
Once Spiderman was confirmed, he knew that Doc Oc would come looking for Spiddy's Church. O, Spiddy, come down from the steeple and use your newfound Grace to defend us.
Struggling with declining church membership, the Lutheran Church must now resort to drastic and high-tech sheep-stealing measures
Look out! The tarantula is on the prowl again! (Remember the horror film released in 1957?)
Jason's got my vote. (Scott is good, too.)
It seemed a perfectly normal day, with the church, the fluffy clouds, and the fifteen-foot tall spider in the town square. But then the clouds gathered, the lightning swirled, and with a 10,000 volt bolt from each of the steel steeples -- the tarantula was toast.
Spider to Mary on roof: So, it is down to me and it is down to you...
"The experiment in Our Lady's College biochem lab went terribly wrong...."
Scott is very fitting, but my vote's for Maureen.
What can I say? I grew up with the tune; it is stuck in my head for good.
The Cyber-Spider pays his respects and asks for grace as he prepares to face The Doctor and his blue-box TARDIS.
If the Kurds had their way, this spider would have frightened Father Muffet into transferring churches.
Upon reaching enlightenment, B'omarr monks would have their brains removed, put in a jar, and suspended under a BT-16 spider droid.
The Gothic construction of the Church was sufficient to stop the alien invaders dead in their tracks. Once again, Gothic architecture wins.
Sr. Mary Polyester whips herself into a frenzied liturgical dance...again...
Brian Walden!
My vote goes to Maureen, although "Anonymous" opens up nice possibilities...
Spider to Mary on roof: "So, it is down to me and it is down to you..."
Our Lady wrinkles her nose in distaste, gestures gracefully...and sends Spider back to the Pit.
I vote Maureen's Spider Server
By popular demand....
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