AmericanPapist Comments
Upon the recent study that the Catholic Church has lost huge numbers of people, one diocese decided it would do anything to draw parishoners back in. (And if the inflatable Safari doesn't do it, the helper-priest will smack you with the broom!)
"Um... we're hopelessly lost."
Fr. O'Brien gives a blessing on the opening of Disney World Rome, the newest theme park in the Disney Corporation, a destination for Catholic thrill seekers or protestants with very large families.
I want to welcome everybody to our Moon Bounce Mass. Please be sure to take your shoes off.
...well, we invited all the Jewish kids to play in the park and didn't tell them that the water slides are pumping Holy Water. We sure did baptize a lot of new souls today!
ok folks...who was responsible for the altar flowers this week??
The proposed reform of the TLM. [ducks for cover]
John 14:2: "In my Father's house there are many inflatable mansions; otherwise I would have told you. I am going now to prepare a place for you..."
Welcome to the new Jesuit House of Studies.
"Reccon-silly-ation Saturday" was a dismal failure. The inflato-confessionals smelled like sweaty socks and Monsignor O’Brien hogged the Karaoke machine.
The Pope's emissaries search America for a venue for His Holiness's outdoor Mass. The Search continues (hopefully).
"The new church being dedicated was not exactly up to Vatican standards, though fans of Clown Masses are thrilled at its completion."
"The new additions to the McDonald's character line has some questioning the corporation's motives."
No, Msgr Ganswein will NOT be bouncing in his cassock! He's practicing on the tennis court ..... Hey, where did all the ladies go???
This week on TLC: Extreme Mass Makeover.
"Now, will the seminarians line up in an orderly queue to use the fun slide? We don't want any injuries like on the last day out!"
I would like to thank the Building Commitee for their first attempt at designing our new Church, but perhaps I wasn't explicit enough when I stated a desire for something Traditional.
"Due to a misunderstanding, Mt 18:3, 'truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven' was taken literally for the most recent mass changes..."
or
"In an attempt to draw more youth to the mass, Luke 18:16 was taken a just a little too far..."
Dedication of the new baptismal font in L.A.
.... so as we wrap up our occasional series on ecumenical relations, I hope this life-size exhibit on contemporary Anglican theology has been edifying.
"Let us all safari together to the end zones of life."
H. E. Clark welcomes you to the newly renovated cathedral.
Welcome to our parish winter carnival!
Will anyone *please* bid on the inflatable Safari? As you know, this auction benefits World Youth Day. Fr. Matt here will even toss in this nice broom. Please? This was dropped off by "Anonymous" and I really don't want to have to take it back to the rectory.
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