Finally...someone with the balls to stand up and do this.
of course he'll catch shit from fundies not only for advocating same sex marriage legality but for living out of wedlock.
Bravo for both of them.
That does indeed rock.
txrad was telling me about a friend of ours he used to work with. The guy informed him he was getting married and txrad's attitude was:
So? What are you so excited about? I can't even do it.
People don't make the connection.
b-b-but!
If marriage is outlawed, then only the outlaws will have in-laws!
(However, in solidarity with Pitt's sentiment, I will also not be marrying Angelina Jolie!)
I think this is pretty cool, and good for him for doing this.
...But you saying he has good taste in women is amusing to me. Choosing Angelina Jolie is not good taste in women to me. xdxd
The Significant Other and I did a semi-protest at the silliness of weddings:
Vegas, Elvis, whisky and 15 minutes.
The marriage has been great, it's just weddings that are damned silly.
Just bragging, though: I'm a Canuck who has catered a few gay weddings. *sings* Gimmie mo-o-o-oney, that's what I want...
My mom and dad, in their 80's each, who desperately love each other insisted on divorcing when they learned that my partner and myself couldn't be married even after being together 21 years.
I begged them to not do it; told them they didn't need to prove anything to me. But they said it wasn't about us, it was about 'larger issues' and it was a good way for them to communicate this injustice to their friends and acquaintances -- which they have done ever since.
They still live together and love each other, and us, very much. I can't think of any other people of whom I am more proud.
My 83 year old mom suggested this (everyone boycotting marriage until everyone has equal marriage rights) as a remedy months ago.
Of course, Pitt has a tad more clout than she does, so I'm happy he's publically jumped on the bandwagon too 
Phil,
that's the most awesome thing I think I've ever heard.
Amazing parents, Phil. Good for them! Maybe the 80 something year olds (and Brad Pitt) will save the day.
That is amazing, Phil.
Jeanette- truth be told, Jolie sort of freaks me out. But I've heard people around here like her, and when it comes to gags, I like to play the crowd.
Phil, your parents are good, principled people. Would that there were more like them. Nanette, ditto that sentiment about your mother.
Phil - wish I could articulate how your story made me feel. If only we lived in a country where your parents' beautiful gesture would have been unnecessary.
That is very very cool. I hadn't thought of that! I wonder what that will do to there statistics?
Thanks Zack, the moral support is noted!
My partner and have arguably been boycotting marriage for a while. It's not specifically the reason we aren't married--neither of us particularly want the state involved in our relationship, and she's adamant on the church as well--but the fact that this debate exists at all pretty much exemplifies what we oppose in both of those institutions.
When I WAS married, I boycotted marriage...
THis decision by Pitt and Joile is TOTALLY COOL, and I wish I had thought of it. I am worried about the 80 year old parents though.....I hope they are rich, because one of them could end up without access to health care, or social security, or a shared pension.....your mother, most likely. That will put a train on EVERYBODY'S relationships.
They are truly inspired idealists though and they make me want to cry. I just don't like old people to suffer physically and be denied quality care. Maybe you guys could move to Canada so that you CAN marry, and your Mom can be more socially/finabcially secure.
Phil, please tell your parents we love them. They rock! My gosh, that is amazing.
Maybe he's just rationalizing his fear of committment with a nice politically correct veneer?
Maybe he's just rationalizing his fear of committment with a nice politically correct veneer?
Maybe he is. The point was less what's going on in Brad Pitt's head, and more "That's a fucking brilliant idea."
i say cool. good for them. more statements should be made. phil, big props to your folks. you should celebrate two anniversaries with them now. the day they did the church thing and the day they stood tall in support of their son. i applaud them.
Totally OS but......... You think this would be happening if the dead had been white? I was born here and these are my people. How about asking Brad to give them a hand?
And Phil, you've got the the most fantastic parents in the world. But the reason they felt the must do this is what really sucks big time.
Balls. If he wanted to marry her, he'd marry her. I support gay marriage, but this just seems like a load of self-serving crap.
I hereby propose a Constitutional Amendment to Ban Celebrity Marriage. Any takers?
two words, charlize theron. done that, been there.
hmm, the mass divorce idea is interesting.
lol
and yes, Phils' parents are extraordinary. Phil, if you want, get in touch. This story could go large if they wanted it to.
It's a nice sentiment, but, if ya ask me, I don't think she wants to marry him and this is a way for him to save face. In fact, I'll go so far and predict that she'll dump him within a year's time.
Aside from that, we all agree that Phil's parents rock!
Sorry, I'm boycotting marriage because it seems to be a Very Bad Thing for me. I never understood why anyone would want to do it, either.
Sigh.
Zack - No, no. That's Lionel, Nicole's father, you're seeing as "thin."
Phil's parents will be news if one of them does get ill and the other cannot visit. (There are two examples of octogenarians above approving of supporting gay marriage above. Who says only the youngsters are open to the idea.)
there have to be at least some decent-minded people in this country who could delay their turn at the altar until the act meant a little more than simply raising exclusion levels.
I support gay marriage, but I wouldn't not get married in order to show it. It seems symbolically hollow to me.
I would prefer that gays and lesbians go on a "marriage strike," meaning that we would refuse to plan, cater, or decorate and legal heterosexual marriage.
Err..."any legal heterosexual marriage."
It this move by Pitt changes any minds other than liberal ones .. I will eat my poo with a spork. The point is to work for real and actual change .. and this will not do it.
I was a lot nastier at my website if you wanna check it out.
I think the funniest part of this is that regardless of the authenticity, regardless of how many minds it may or may not change...
Will be if and when the tabloid magazines start proselytizing for gay marriage to their largely socially reactionary audiences. In order to get a brad Pitt marriage.
Also, whether this has anything to do with Angelina is moot. He said he's not getting married. To ANYBODY. State of His current relationship doesn't change the position.
Waterytart,
I would like to see what happens when you share your opinion on this subject with some of your gay friends.
The point is to work for real and actual change .. and this will not do it.
What won't? Brad Pitt not getting married to Angelina Jolie? Well, um, duh.
And why can't this be for real and actual change- if enough people actually made a point of not getting married, well, who knows what could happen.
Even if it doesn't, I'm surprised at people who still want to get married with the current state of things. If you're doing it for legal reasons, you have an argument, but as a commitment or statement, well...
I wouldn't not get married in order to show it. It seems symbolically hollow to me.
That's what marriage currently seems to me right now. Symbolically hollow. A more expensive version all those damn car magnets.
Pitt just gave an out to every guy who doesn't want a "commitment" in the guise of a socially aware position! Good for him anyway.
Maybe he's just rationalizing his fear of committment with a nice politically correct veneer?
fiat lux
The guy was married to Jennifer Anniston. Where do you get "fear of commitment" when he fought for a marriage where she didn't want kids?
I hope Brad keeps it up. Celebrity marriages are shams anyway.
Also, Nicole Ritchie is so skinny that she makes a supermodel look fat.
How old are you all here???
I'm a 50+ dyke in a relationship longer than some of you are old....Brad Pitt or anybody, for that matter, holding out on their SPECIAL RIGHTS reseved only for heterosexuals is not a hollow jesture as far as I am concerned....the rest of you who don't get it, thanks for your support. NOT.
Karen in Kalifornia
Brad and Angelina can't get married until gays can marry ... because they're both gay.
Karen in Kali,
You may appreciate clicking on my homepage.
hmmm ... oops ... I mean this.
Is good, no?
'larger issues'
No matter Pitts' motive, the larger issue is celebrity gets ink ...mere mortals do not (.... unless of course they be teenybop blondes rockin' in Aruba or psychos in Thailand ...). We may hope ol' Brad catches real Hell from the fundies for several issues of mirror/inquirer and hours of air on Fox ....
Pitt has had better taste in women ...wasn't there something about a "Billy Bob" tat ...or am I thinking of someone else ?
just remember Brad isn't the first to take this position publicly. Charlize made an eloquent statement on this exact subject about a year ago. Brad's a copycat. He's just a "zen master" (his words) of PR. Don't be taken in.
LOL Nik e Poo,
Today I'm laughing, but again as an old dyke who's been in a relationship longer that some of you are old....and looking like I'll die before all those homobigot state constitutional amendment are voted away.....I appreciate whatever lip service is offered up from the heterosexual camp because (blog mistress notwithstanding) vocal support from the other sexual orientation who has nothing to lose...is rare....I don't really care what BP's motivation is or what his Press Agents motivation is for that matter....it really sucks being a second class citizen......
But you're right, I fell for that glimmer of hope for support.
K in K
Marriage is an industry worth billions and billions. Truth is if enough people hop on this band wagon, same sex marriage will become legal so fast your head will spin.
You can take that to the bank.
The movement ought to start in High Schools and on college campuses, and Brad and Angie can start a web site.
K in K
!
Brad is entitled to his interpretation. That's what art is all about.
As with a couple other people here, I have to mention that Charlize Theron did this a while back ... course, I drool over her way more than I do Jolie, but still, not gonna have a problem with crumbs in bed with either of them ...
Now, personally, when a celebrity that is going to make it onto the magazine covers that the people going through supermarket checkout lines will read, makes a statement like this, it DOES make a statement, it's not hollow, and it's probably going to have an impact on a section of the population our normal political efforts don't.
Regardless of how I feel about Pitt, he's making a principled stand on an issue of inequality and discrimination, and I HAVE to give him props on that, both for simply doing it, AND for being a member of the minority that will benefit from it.
As Phil's parents' act shows us, this has REAL effects, however small ... makes a lot of straights realise the privilege they have and have access too.
It's about walking the talk.
I second (third?) that, anyone takes such a stance gets a big time props in my book. I'm not much of a celebrity watcher but from what I know about Pitt and Jolie I find it pretty easy to believe that what he says is what they believe, that it isn't just for PR, etc. They seem to run in progressive activist circles and probably know some long-term gay or lesbian couples.
Hmm...I'm not quite sure where to begin with this one. As a newlywed, I'm obviously pro-marriage. So I obviously don't share Zack's sentiment that marriage is symbolically hollow. I think that making a public declaration of commitment to the one you love is a beautiful thing, and everyone should be able to do that if they so choose. I am glad that I have had the opportunity to share that with my wife. I hold no illusions that marriage will be an easy thing and know that many end in divorce. However, that will not stop me from trying my best to honor my commitment.
It saddens me that one of my closest friends and groomsmen cannot marry his boyfriend despite their love for each other. I would like nothing more than to stand up with him on their wedding day. At the current moment, that is not legally possible.
As for what is the best approach for change given the current circumstances, I don't know. I appreciate the sentiment of people who make declarations like Brad Pitt and Charlize Theron, but I can't say I feel the same. To put it crudely, I do not think a hunger strike is the most effective way to feed the poor.
Instead, I try to do what I can. There are those who view marriage as a religious institution that is used to beget new church members in the form of children. There are others who cling to outdated stereotypes regarding gays as too promiscuous for marriage. I confront these people and challenge their beliefs when I can. I try to live by example that marriage is an institution of love. I vote for candidates who support marriage equality.
Perhaps I am naive, but it is my personal opinion that these tactics are more effective than celebrity protests in motivating social change.
I'm also on the fence about this.
I appreciate the gesture of solidarity, especially from those whose public presence means that their personal decisions can have a larger public impact through example, and can spur further discussions thereby.
But I also agree with Michael; one doesn't feed the hungry by starving with them, gain votes for the disenfranchised by giving up one's own vote, solve poverty by giving up all one's possessions, and so on. Those may be tools for martialing social change, but they are not solutions in and of themselves.
I will also admit to being slightly irritated by the general assumption that being granted certain legal rights by the state is the same as getting married in a religiously conservative church ceremony. This is what the right and the fundies try to argue, and it's just not so.
Gays and lesbians can get married in a sanctified ceremony any day they choose, in my church, and in a number of other liberal denominations. That they can proves that this is NOT about marriage per se; it's about religious conservatives wishing only their religious beliefs granted state sanction and subsidy, at the cost of gays and lesbians and the separation of church and state.
The issue here is NOT marriage; the issue here is the legal rights of couples wishing to have a civil union recognized by the state.
By refusing to have a church ceremony, or engage in a union called "marriage" you're basically agreeing that the fundies' definition of marriage is the default. You're essentially saying, until gays and lesbians can marry in a rightwing church, no one should get married in any kind of church.
Personally, I think it would be more effective to have Brad and whomever get religiously married in a liberal church, and to turn down the legal rights that the state offers -- it would make the point better, and take the wind out of those who'd like to conflate one weird and restrictive religious rite held sacred by righteous bigots with the loving rites of other churches and with the legal rights due all human citizens of this nation, regardless of creed.
I know many ministers who are now refusing to perform all marriage ceremonies until all marriages are recognized. They will perform "Commitment Ceremonies"--which are weddings sans legal document--for straight and gay couples, but won't sign the marriage certificates.
Personally, I think it would be more effective to have Brad and whomever get religiously married in a liberal church, and to turn down the legal rights that the state offers -- it would make the point better, and take the wind out of those who'd like to conflate one weird and restrictive religious rite held sacred by righteous bigots with the loving rites of other churches and with the legal rights due all human citizens of this nation, regardless of creed.
I like this a lot.
Yeah, that'll work great in trying to get the attention of all the people who already agree with you and thus understand the complexities of the situation.
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