I don't think you're sad and I don't think you're a doormat nor do I think you sound whiny.
You're not sad because what you're feeling is so normal! Yes, it's hard on the kiddos when parents are separated, but damnit, it's hard on us too and I NEVER see my daughter's father.
I don't think either that you should be thinking about whether the kiddo will appreciate your sacrifices. What if he doesn't? I think, deep down, that your other reasons for doing all you do probably go so far as to drown out whether your son does or will some day appreciate it all.
As for being a doormat - if you're starting to feel that way then you should absolutely make some changes. But being kind and the bigger person does not make you a doormat. No way. No how. No matter how unreciprocated and unappreciate your son's dad may be.
I wish I could say something and (poof) you'd feel better but I would guess that you (and I) will probably feel like this (or some part of it) for a long time.
STAY STRONG!! ***hugs***
megan
PS - That was way long - sorry! 
I am new to your blog. I came over because I read a comment of yours on someone else's and thought you sounded funny.
I think you are a really great mom for making the efforts you have for your child. It takes a strong, confident, unselfish person to do what you have. Your child may not realize the sacrifices you've made until he (?) is grown and has children of his own.. maybe not even then but you will have the satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing.
Don't you hate those things that you just have to hold your breath and get through?
I know that my husband, whose parents had an ugly divorce, really wishes that at least one of them had been a grownup about the whole thing instead of keeping score all the time.
I think things like his invitation should just be taken at face value, even when they're not meant that way. Simpler to think about: I'm invited to the lesson but I don't want to go because the GF will be there, so I'll say no thanks. End of story. It takes away his power. Likewise, if you focus on the fact that you invite him along because your son wants him there and for no other reason, you don't have to even entertain thoughts about whether you're being too nice; it's not about nice, it's about your son.
But it sounds like you already know that. I guess I'm feeling too preachy today.
I cannot say anything to make you feel better that would to anything others have already said here.
So I will just say you are an incredible Mother who has been dealth an unfair and difficult situation and deals with it with breathtaking GRACE.
And then I will send some virtual hugs your way.
It takes time and also boundaries. That was really hard for me, figuring out which boundaries I needed when. You're doing great, hon.
oh, i fell 4 u hon, i really do. my daughter is 6, and let me tell u, it is hard as hell on me 2 wach her have ne thing 2 do w/ her dad. she hardly ever c's him and when she does, its cuz SHE called him. im sure he doesn't think bout her unless shes in his face. i can honestly say i think the fact that u invite ur sons dad is awesome. i invited my ex 2 a few things, but i always got excuses so i jus quit. the very fact of the matter is, is that u do it all the time.. i wouldn't feel one bit like a doormat or even feel like u haven't gotten threw 2 ur son. trust me, my daughter knows i luv her and when shes going off 2 daddy's house w/ the new wife he has, i have those same feelings. and im married also. its jus cuz u can't stand the thought of sum one else having wat was once ur life. even tho, we (and im meaning we as in general) don't want that life ne more, we still miss it at times. it wasn't all bad w/ the ex, but god there was plenty more bad then there was good. and i can honestly say that when i have 2 c them, (the ex and his wife) i make sure i look like i stepped out of a magazine add. i refuse 4 him 2 c me look bad. its jus a stupid petty thing i have that means "hahahaha a***hole, look wat u lost? u went and f***ed up, now u'll never have it again". oh yeah, i know its rediculous 4 me 2 feel this way, but i don't care, cuz it makes me feel damn good in the end. and when im able 2 make it stick in his crawl, it is even better. u r rite, u can only go through it, and hell, no one ever likes it. its gonna be a long tough road, but u will eventually get through it, i promise. 6 yrs and counting and it has good days and then there's bad days. but u by no means, sound whiny. its ok 2 feel like u do. it perfectly natural 2 not wanna c the new gf. i hate cing my daughters new step-mama. i wanna gag when i do, but i swallow it, and go on. sum days i tend 2 let things get me going, then other days i am meek and passive. i think it jus depends on my mood. so well, doubt if it helped ne, but then again, u have 2 do wats good 4 u and ur son. much luv.
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