Great post Aspazia. I will go look at the details of that study later today but I will say now that I have found the past six months (when I have been at home rather than working outside the home) very very difficult. I have also found it tricky to articulate these difficulties - there's a certain 'right to complain' that exists within paid employment which doesn't come as easily for the unpaid domestic worker. So I would consider the possibility that some women who stay at home might feel uncomfortable articulating their dissatisfactions, given that their work is often not even recognised as such.
"So I would consider the possibility that some women who stay at home might feel uncomfortable articulating their dissatisfactions, given that their work is often not even recognised as such."
I think this is true, and that if they express disatisfaction they might jeopardize their financial stability?
I am curious what you find out when you look at the study. I wonder, for example, how they got the data? Did it already exist? Did they do interviews? What questions did they ask? How likely were they to get honest answers? Etc.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wonderful post.
Welcome back, Dr. J !
Hope you had a great holiday.
And a very inspirational and thoughtful post.
"And a very inspirational and thoughtful post."
Thank you!
"Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wonderful post."
You're welcome maam. This was dedicated to you!
First you post against "niceness." Now, you are against "happiness."
I am concerned about you.
On topic, happiness is an individual thing. Maybe we should do studies on whether I would be happier with a full-time servant. Or whether women whose husbands have ex-wives are happier than women whose husbands do not have ex-wives.
"Am I happy? Shit, it depends on the day. Isn't that true for most people?"
It is certainly true for stay-at-home moms. When I walk in the door and I hear them immediately described as "my" children, I think two words -- one of them is "oh" and the other one I can't even spell around my daughter anymore.
As for stay-at-home moms being happier...right now as a stay-at-home philosopher, I'm happier too -- even though I love my job and adore my colleagues. Most folks in this corporate controlled culture are not so lucky. Work is a significant source of stress, remove it and there is less stress. Deep result. I can't imagine why getting out of the office would, on average, make one happier. Being surrounded by short people who love you is, of course, a major bonus, but surely not the only causal factor here.
It is interesting that this broad social discussion focuses on women's choices only and steers completely clear of the European model which values families instead of empty talk about "family values."
"Or whether women whose husbands have ex-wives are happier than women whose husbands do not have ex-wives."
Ok, I LOVE this comment. You know I do. 
"It is interesting that this broad social discussion focuses on women's choices only and steers completely clear of the European model which values families instead of empty talk about "family values.""
A-Men brother!
As one of the people who offered "incensed comments" last time, I can say I have none to offer this time. The shift in focus from the women to the politicization of the decision is a welcome move.
The one question I have is, why are individual happiness and more global selfish notions set in opposition to each other (though I recognize that you did not claim them to be mutually exclusive)? My understanding, as such, is that individual happiness is inward-facing and the other idea is outward-facing. This apparently means that in the case of individual happiness, we are seeking happiness itself, whereas in the alternate case, happiness is a potential by-product?
Is this tension based on the idea that we have to select one and only one aim? I feel like I'm pretty concerned about both. If you ask me why I study philosophy, the two reasons I would give you would be, one, an altruistic reason related to teaching, and two, a selfish reason - that I simply like it. Aren't most of our decisions of this nature, a careful weighing of all issues involved? I'm hesitant to say that a single principle determines my choices in each case - and even if there is one, instances of deliberation are so complicated I doubt I could ever identify that principle.
Why Asp! I do not know what you are talking about? Do you have any clues about how that survey would turn out?
Aspazia, I've just read that Slate article and posted some more comments on it, and the subject in general on rudebarbie.com. Again, thanks for a great post.
I seem to remember a certain professor of mine teaching me ancient philosophy and Plato's notion of happiness being found in virtuous acts. Perhaps we've just lost sight of what should be making us happy. Shouldn't it be about doing what you feel is "right", you know, living the "good" life? So, as I thoroughly agree that happiness should not necessarily be the goal of life, for many of us it comes regardless because we're living as we see fit, doing what feels right.
Plus, what about those of us who enjoy the occasional recreational melancholy? There's something satisfying about it.
This was a great read and made me think a lot, thank you for posting it.
Jeff-
"why are individual happiness and more global selfish notions set in opposition to each other (though I recognize that you did not claim them to be mutually exclusive)?"
I find this question intriguing, but I am not yet sure I've gotten it. Do you mean why is that what makes us personally happy also likely to make us appear selfish to others? If so, hopefully that doesn't always happen. But, I would love to think more about this!
Anne--
I quite like the phrase: "recreational melancholy"
While my own sense of it might differ from what you meant, it reminds me of why I watch certain sad movies. The classic movie I take out for recreational melancholy periods is Blue. I find that I am only really able to cry when I see sad movies, I have trained it out of myself in real life.
Will--
"Do you have any clues about how that survey would turn out?"
Well, I am guessing that how much of a psycho the ex-wife is makes a difference.
I picked up this book in a bookstore the other day and read most of the introduction before I realized, oh shit, I really needed to get back to work. Steiner's writing really pulls you in. I am going to give it a closer look and decide whether it would make a good gift for a co-worker who is about to have a baby.
this interests me. I agree with you on how the way the "mommy wars" are framed pits women against one another. I am also not sure that "Happiness" is the end-all, be-all that seems to be implied.
Frankly, I'd take serenity and wisdom over happiness any day of the week.
perhaps it's the wrong question they're asking.
There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life -- happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone else.
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