I think you (and your wise friend) would make great horse trainers. Or, rather, great horse trainers utilize this idea that you have so successfully articulated.

One of the first things one has to teach riders (well, after the basics of go, stop, and turn), is that, if the horse isn't doing what you want, it's probably due to something you're doing. The horse isn't out to get you, trying to "be bad," or deliberately at odds with your vision of success. It's just trying to figure out what you want. So, you turn to yourself, investigate what you're doing, and try something different until communication is restored. And this is a WAY more fun way to ride (much more happiness involved) than assuming one is at war with a horse who is bad and must be made to submit (this usually winds up making everyone unhappy and doesn't work at all).

Now, this is of course a bit of an oversimplification, but I think it lines up with your point rather nicely!
I | 11.12.08 - 2:52 pm | #