I'm so glad to see you back here!
I can echo some of the earlier comments, but mostly I want to say that I jive with what you are saying.
I've been thinking about the pervasive American victim narrative, and Dr. Laura, in terms of suicide. That is, I can't quite understand the reaction to suicide that is heavy with anger, that blames the person for being a coward, for being selfish, etc. It seems to me to completely miss the point, and to say much more about the speaker than the actual victim (suicide).
After DFW's death, Dr. Laura posted a really nasty thing on her blog about how ironic it was that he had made fun of her in his Kenyon speech--and look what happened to him. It was yet one more of those post-mortem things I wished I hadn't read.
Hi Repat,
Thanks for the welcome back.
Your point about the logic of victimization and suicide is really interesting. I wonder if the reason that those who feel victimized by the one who commits suicide is because one feels too guilty. Too much guilt runneth over and turns into punishing anger.
I see the victim position as something one chooses by giving up their power in order to avoid responsibility. If you're a prof, you can do much less work, take in fewer assignments or get a TA to do more marking, and be well rested. Or you can work your ass off, and be tired. The decision to do one or the other is a choice made, not forced on you. It might be a difficult choice, but it's still what you decided to do. And once we see that, once we see that we've chosen our path, and we're responsible for it, then suddenly we're empowered. Because we can choose a different direction, or we can buck up and recognize that, tired as we are, we actually want to go down this road.
Passive-aggressive, victimized, it's all your fault that my life is like this - kind of crap makes me gag.
And nice to see you're back!
Sage--
Dead on. I couldn't agree more with you!
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