I'MMA LET YOU FINISH
The box reads:
"George W. Bush - President and Naval Aviator"
I guess truth in advertising doesn't exist any longer. On either count.
I love how Wes Clark called Bush a "phony" for wearing that flight suit. Also, yesterday Doonsbury made fun of Bush for the silly flight suit. Hopefully the White House is on notice that the suit has begun to mean ridicule...
Don't forget all the accessories!
Specimen Cup -- You can give G.W.B. the drug test he skipped National Guard service to avoid!
Movable Base -- Display your G.W.B. doll on this handsome gunmetal base! Automatically positions Action George so that he's facing away from Vietnam at all times!
Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack -- To make him look more presidential for the T.V. celebs!
Now how much would you pay?
I bet he's playing with himself right now.
Apparently, even the action figure has a more credible foreign policy.
Not for use with Mattel's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Ken."
At least they've got his stature about right.
Anybody else? Let's hear 'em.
Pull the string and it says, "Bring 'em on!"
He looks like to me like Jeff Tracy, founder of International Rescue (Thunderbirds), but, unfortunately the comparison ends at looks. According to his bio: "Intelligent, kindly and with a sense of humour, Jeff also exhibits the ability to be decisive and stern when the situation demands. Now 56, Jeff is absolutely dedicated to the goals of International Rescue and rarely allows himself the luxury of time off from his duties."
Thunderbirds are go!
GI Joke
No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again, sir!
At least they've got his stature about right.
Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack -- To make him look more presidential for the T.V. celebs!
Hunter,
Would that consist of a sweatsock, a Depend undergarment or both?
How about a scale model Air Force One, so next time some terrorists kill a few thousand people he have hours of fun in the air, bravely avoiding the site of the attacks and even the White House!
A question on the Mattel's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Ken doll.
Does does the Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack -- fit Ken doll too?
Soon to be released his "Campaign Worker's Outfit" in case of a National Guard callup.
Built-in marionette capability!
Comes with several lengths of oily string so you can make him say and do whatever you want!
I'd like to buy the doll and then use a magnifying glass (i.e., "Saddam's Death Ray") to burn holes in it.
the butter has slipped off this countrys noodles. commander numb-nuts of the chickenshit squadron.
I'd love to see this as a sticker.
So, let's get together and make the Bush draft-dodger doll. It could come with copies of the paperwork stripping him of the right to fly.
Much like the Ken doll, I expect this one to be "anatomically correct".
Yes. The man has no dick.
It's a great toy, my kid loves it. Only one problem though. Whenever he wants to play war - the toy magically disappears...
Does does the Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack -- fit Ken doll too?
Ken don't need it!
We need a Commander and Chief doll that looks remarkably like Dick Cheney.
why does the action figure look more manly than the real deal? it's not an accurate representation . . .
Todd McFarlane should come out with a Chimp Bush toy, with banana and pretzel props that fit in his kung-fu ape grip.
A question on the Mattel's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell Ken doll.
Does does the Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack -- fit Ken doll too?
Cheryl | Email | 08.07.03 - 1:21 pm | #
Don't ask.
Does does the Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack -- fit Ken doll too?
Ken don't need it!
Oh was Ken suppose to have had that and "enhancement" operation?
GI Joke
Joshua | Email | 08.07.03 - 1:17 pm | #
Nice.
How tall is it? Ann Coulter has been waiting for one of these ...
he looks like a puppet on Thunderbirds or something. What a dork.
And what is that thing hang from his helmet. The rip cord for to his inflatable Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack?
I'd like to buy the doll and then use a magnifying glass (i.e., "Saddam's Death Ray") to burn holes in it.
NTodd
Let us know how your interview with the Secret Service goes...
And what is that thing hang from his helmet. The rip cord for to his inflatable Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack?
Y'ever wonder why modern-day fighter jocks (ahem) have to plug all those hoses in when they get in the plane? Well, that's why.
Hydraulics.
I'm afraid to ask (or imagine) what Annthrax would do with the doll
I'm afraid to ask (or imagine) what Annthrax would do with the doll
Probably just lie about how great it was.
The Bush Blow-Up Doll is undoubtedly on its way. Ann Coulter, Peggy Noonan, Cokie Roberts, Margaret Carlson and Rush Limabugh will fighting to be first in line for it.
inflatable Crotch Enhancement Expansion Pack
Note! It is very important that you do not accidentally put your hydraulic pants on backwards! Doing so will make you appear decidedly less manly during your carrier-deck walk from your plane.
String-puller Karl Rove sold separately.
If I add batteries, can I get the doll to twitch, squint and smirk?
Just slip a condom on him and Ann Coulter would be all set.
Did the creators of this doll have to get permission to use his name or image in this way? If so... I don't know what to say. Psychopathic or delusional?
On second thought, I suspect that the whole idea of "action figures" (i.e., dolls for boys) is part of that evil Gay Agenda aimed at weakening red-blooded American manhood!!
"Naval aviator"? Wasn't Commander Codpiece nominally in the Air Force?
Can't the pigfuck ASSHOLES coming up with these Shrubya masturbation aids even get THAT right?
"With life-like AWOL action!"
NTodd wrote: I'd like to buy the doll and then use a magnifying glass (i.e., "Saddam's Death Ray") to burn holes in it.
Looks like we got another one for Gitmo. Round em up, smoke em out, etc etc.
On the bright side, maybe having a million or so voodoo dolls floating around will do some good.
Of course, you'll notice if you go to the toy's actual page that you can submit a review. Have at it... I've already submitted mine.
"Brush-clearing diorama sold separately."
Caution: Choking hazard.
That this thing 9s being marketed in the first place is making me gag.
Just slip a condom on him and Ann Coulter would be all set.
Nay, she waiting for the Commander and Chief doll that looks remarkably like Dick Cheney to hit the market.
Please quote your review for us, David.
"Includes shark for realistic shark-jumping action."
Remember Ventura's ads for governor with the action figures - "special interest man" etc? Well....let's make some lemonade!
I'd love to, if I had bothered to save it. I made the mistake of assuming it was an automatic form, but being a mostly-kids site, I can't really imagine they'd do that (or if they did, I'll bet they put in a "review" process really quick).
However, I'll quote what I remember putting down:
Title: Tasteless and inappropriate
Please describe your experience: My experience with the footage of our president, who abandoned his duties as a Guardsman during Vietnam, was one of shame and anger. I find it rather inappropriate that someone would actually make a child's toy commemorating the false image of our duty-shirking president as a war hero. Mr. Bush dishonors the memory of our brave soldiers who fight in his unjust war.
I gave it half a star ("very poor").
Perhaps I should have given it 1.5 stars ("Below Average"). 
Caution: playing with this doll for prolonged periods of time may cause a rational person's head to explode.
This is somewhat OT, but did anyone see the Reuters story on the Iraqi kid whose arms were blown off? He gets new arms, blah, blah, but here's the kicker: he got a souvenir US Army hat!!! Lucky ducky! "Here kid, we blew your FUCKING arms off but we'll give you a hat instead! Oh, wait, guess that isn't so practical since, without arms, you can't put the hat on or take it off!"
Snarl.
What child would ever include "President George W. Bush Elite Force Aviator Action Figure" on his or her Christmas list?
And will it be listed next to the forward command post toy in the JC Penny catalog?
This is a joke, right? Please tell me it's a joke...
I hear that they have to keep this doll on the other side of the KB Toys warehouse due to the fact that it kept breaking out of it's package to give head to the Richie Rich dolls...
>>What child would ever Include "President George W. Bush Elite Force Aviator Action Figure" on his or her Christmas list?"
I'm sure if Rush ever had kids (family-valued paragon that he is), they and other real patriots would want the doll. Failing that, there are probably sex shops that will order it.
Snarling Martha:
I'm with you. They also blew up his entire family.
Better keep that cap on kid and smile at the camera if you want to keep those legs...
Actually, I can't really take any store seriously that would sell things like these.
Oy, Street Barbie.
My review was similar to David's, the title being "this is sick" everyone should go there to let them know KB is no longer your toy store.
Bush has to be involved in the process, which makes it even sicker. Yet another misstep, though, that's encouraging. Would you pay $40 for a lie?
Just think of the diorama possibilities...
On the other hand, on Antique Roadshow 2100, this might be worth a pretty penny.
This fully poseable figure features a realistic head sculpt, fully detailed cloth flight suit, helmet with oxygen mask, survival vest, g-pants, parachute harness and much more. The realism and exacting attention to detail demanded by today's 12-inch action figure enthusiast are met and exceeded with this action figure. This incredibly detailed figure is a fitting addition to the collection of those interested in U.S. history, military memorabilia and toy action figures. Actual figure may vary slightly from item shown.
Could they have possibly written a funnier blurb? I mean, "realistic head sculpt"? "Demanded by today's 12-inch action figure enthusiast"? And that "Acutal figure may vary slightly" sentence is just begging for parody.
(Hey, shouldn't Bill Pryor be campaigning against 12-inch action figure enthusiasts?)
And someone tell me why KB Toys would sell something that's intended not for children, but "action figure enthisuast"s.
And someone tell me why KB Toys would sell something that's intended not for children, but "action figure enthisuast"s.
My guess would be that they know where the money is. Think about collectibles - especially cards. People are willing to pay more for them than most parents are for their kids (how many parents do you think would buy their kids a 12-inch collectable doll for $40?).
Though I do agree, it's hardly a "toy".
My review:
This doll is the greatest! I can't wait to put him to work patrolling the Texas skies, keeping us safe from the Viet Cong! And $39.99 is a bargain, when you consider it costs $2,000 to have lunch with the real thing!
Laura - how about 4 billion a month? Let's just all get out our checkbooks now, and give them to the nice man in overly-large glasses ("hhrrrm!"), don't slip on the oil as you are whisked away to be questioned by the FBI!
>> 12-inch action figure enthusiast
Meaning an action figure enthusiast who's 12 inches tall? Can't be too many of those.
Seemed Like A Good Idea
The link is busted....
Let us know how your interview with the Secret Service goes...
Oh, it went fine. This little agent doll came over and when I pulled on her string, she asked me a couple of polite questions, apologized for wasting my time, and got in her toy car and drove away.
I always wanted a 12-inch prick.
"Includes shark for realistic shark-jumping action."
LOL.
I always wanted a 12-inch prick.
I wouldn't recommend shoving this one down your pants. You'll develop a rash, and your performance as a lover will drop as fast as Dubya's poll numbers.
Does anybody remember SNL's Happy Fun Ball?
If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
The Bush Blow-Up Doll is undoubtedly on its way. Ann Coulter, Peggy Noonan, Cokie Roberts, Margaret Carlson and Rush Limabugh will fighting to be first in line for it.
They certainly produce enough hot air to inflate it.
Doll review:
Rating: 0.5 star
Title: Major league asshole. Big time.
Review: He was not a Naval Aviator. He did go AWOL from the Texas National Guard, though.
See, him being landed on an aircraft carrier makes him a "naval aviator." Just like him being landed in the White House makes him "president."
Swoosh: Snarling Martha? I like it, I like it a LOT. And you're right, I forgot to mention they killed his entire freaking family. But hey! He gets a very nice hat as a memento of the day his life changed.
So, the only problem with this being a valuable collector's item is that the doll has to be pristine. I imagine it might be difficult to find the doll without its head twisted off in 2100. I can hear it now on Antique's Roadshow: "This is remarkable, Blanche! We almost never see one of these dolls in good condition; the vast majority we see are mangled in some way or another..."
I think the fine print reads:
Doll not accountable for death, destruction and ruined economies.
LOL! Great comments. They suggest an interesting question: Are there many Richard Nixon souvenir items out there, and if so, what do they bring? I know someone who stashed his signed Nixon something-or-other in his attic around the time of Watergate.
I'd like to get a doll and plop it into a pot of boiling water. Think I could get a bunch of foreign aid then?
That's no doll, its a dullard!
Tena--
As long as you don't mention abortion.
I love how Wes Clark called Bush a "phony" for wearing that flight suit.
He also had an interesting choice of words, saying W. "pranced" on the flight deck.
Heh. I loves me some Gen. Clark
Check out:
http://www.blueboxtoys.com/blueb...index/
index.htm
for info on Blue Box Toys, owner of BBI, the maker of the Dubya Dolly. Guess where the doll is manufactured?
(Hint: Li'l George has a billion neighbors.)
And don't get me started on "drinks and wets."
my review, for what it's worth:
Rating: 1/2 Star - Very Poor
Review Title: Is There a Rating Below 1/2 Star?
Review: Wow, in these increasingly surreal times when tax cuts are billed as a job creation package, when a war against a pathetic third world country is billed as defending the homeland, when a pro-business license to pollute is billed as a Clear Skies initiative, I guess a draft-dodging college cheerleader who failed to report for mandatory drug testing and was thusly grounded can be billed as a Naval Aviator. We won't even go into the fact that this pretzel fancier Did Not Even Fly the Plane for the Navy. I can see that yet another reason (apart from your cramped aisles, your appalling limited selection, and your high prices) has arisen to show me the wisdom of NOT shopping at KB. I think I will stick to Toys 'r Us in the future. Way to sell that propaganda!
Christ people buy the fucking toy. By the Blair toy.
Then, play the Barbie bondage gear game.
Dress Bush up in barbie clothes, make barbie Bondage gear and dress Bush in that. Put Bush and Blair in a Barbie bed together.
Use you imaginations then send out the pics. I'm sure places like Bartcop and allhatnocattle would just LOVE some Bush doll pics.
The sad part is the doll has a higher IQ then the former governer of TX.
And, someone should take the FULL LENGTH flight suit picture, and compare it to the anatomically correct NAKED flight suit doll.
Place them side by side for all to see.
E.E. - LOL - you win the prize for the best comment on this thread.
Once Dubya gets a hold of his own Dubya doll, no one will be able to stop him from playing with himself.
damn, my comments were taken, and done better.
STOP WASTING MY INK!
oh the pain, the pain. my poor ribs.
It's all a GOP plot. These Dubya dolls go aWol at night. They whisper into your ear three times things like, "WMD PROGRAMS", "Uranium from Africa", "Condi is fabulous", "Tax cuts equal jobs". You wake up feeling all refreshed and enlightened ready for your morning dose of Rush.
Don't forget the Crawford Cowboy Adventure Ranch! Complete with brush to clear. Cattle not optional.
I can't fucking believe that they are calling him a Naval Aviator. That's so wrong. If just riding in a Navy Jet made you a Naval Aviator, then Joan Lunden would be a fucking Ace.
midder - the cattle are optional; the bullshit is not.
My version:
http://www.hairyfishnuts.com/htm...icle-
action.htm
From the product description:
While at the controls of an S-3B Viking aircraft from the "Blue Sea Wolves" of Sea Control Squadron Three Five (VS-35), designated "Navy 1," he overflew the carrier before handing it over to the pilot for landing.
Yep, the noodle that is America is butterless, folks.
BTW, Stan LeCup... that should be "patrolling the Republican campaign headquarters, protecting us from 8-balls of cocaine".
Maybe they should make an action figure duo of Clinton getting a blowjob from Monica.
Equally tastless, yet with some basis in reality.
People should start writing to Mattell, asking why they've put out a GI Joe of a guy who failed to serve his full commitment in the guard.
Ask them what would happen to the reservists of today if they decided to blow off their commitment.
Ask them what would happen to a reservist in Iraq if he tried to catch a plane back to the US.
I want to see this doll modified to have big yella chicken feet and a chicken beak.
Crap, I mean Hasbro. Complain to Hasbro.
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