I'MMA LET YOU FINISH
No see um.
pic no load
No pics here, either.
Atrios, are you trying to upload spam porn again?
has anyone posted that the image isn't visible yet??? ;>
Looks good to me, folks.
See um
Brilliant!
Leave it to humor to make the point that must be made!
Vote Sanity 2004!
Oh, that is awesome. Does Mad always do stuff like this?
Har!
He looks French to me.
KERRY CAN STILL WIN
1) He needs to kick aas in the debates
2) He needs a high turnout in the base(blacks,hispanics, jews, unions, women)
3) He needs a hihg percent of new voters
Funny because its true...
Does Jesus' General know about this?
Wow, who knew Mad still had teeth?
Plus, Jesus has long hair. Just like some of those elitist Hollywood types. Now, if it were a long mullet, then that would be okay, but that's clearly not the case.
Hate that friggin' hippie Jesus.
I heart Mad Magazine.
John Kerry is Jesus?
It's funny, I was reading some of my old '70s MAD magazines and they were surprisingly anti-labor and anti-feminist.
Amen!
Jesus -
wrong on social services
wrong on crime
wrong on defense
wrong for americda
i'm george w bush and i approve this message.
Bwhahahaha. thats great.
If you read an independent scholar like the former Catholic priest, John Dominic Crossan who wrote "Who Killed Jesus?", it is clear that Jesus was in fact arrested and executed as a subversive and terrorist.
The final straw was his speaking against the financial transactions in the Temple and starting a riot there.
The punishment of crucifixion was reserved for rebels, and those so executed were usually called "criminals" or "bandits" to demean their political ideals.
Of course. 'cause Bush is the 2nd coming.
It's funny, I was reading some of my old '70s MAD magazines and they were surprisingly anti-labor and anti-feminist.
Yeah, that was back when Buckley was doing double-duty on Mad and National Review.
I've got to e-mail that image to my pro-Bush, born-again Baptist nephew in Houston.
He converted from Roman Catholicism to Baptist. Heretic! I would have been less disappointed in him had he just become a heroin addict.
bloody brilliant!!
THIS JUST IN:
Presidential candidate Jesus from Nazareth was seen cavorting around town with a woman purported to be a prostitute, a terrorist, and a band of miscreants. He was observed at a party summoning Satan's forces to turn water into wine - causing numerous fights and car accidents. When asked about Jesus's behavior Dan Bartlett said, "I think this raises serious questions about Jesus's values. They don't appear to be in line with mainstream America." The Nazarean campaign officials refused to comment on the allegations.
Developing...
What, Haloscan won't let me do Superscript? What is this, the 1930s?
A wise person once said, "Don't tell me you're a Christian, show me."
Shrub, by his actions, has clearly shown us what gods he believes in, and they're not in the Bible that I read.
Jesus vs. Cheney in 2008...
what a Revelation...
Brilliant.
Y'all need too start an organization like Christians for Truth or WWJS (what what Jesus Say) and run an ad. THAT would get EVERYBODY'S attention, and Kerry would have to denoucne it, except that he wouldnt.
How is it that MAD Magazine gets it, but other "news" magazines don't? Maybe it's because MAD Magazine isn't beholden to the same corporate bullshit that "news" magazines and television shows are. It's sad when our humor publications are more accurate than say Time or Newsweek.
Brilliant.
Y'all need too start an organization like Christians for Truth or WWJS (what what Jesus Say) and run an ad. THAT would get EVERYBODY'S attention, and Kerry would have to denoucne it, except that he wouldnt.
Can we get a link, so I can send this to some friends who need to see it.
Fantastic! I forwarded to our priest the moment I saw it.
My recollections of the MAD of my youth is that they were anti-anything that took itself too seriously.
Oh, that is great. I still felt slightly fatigued from listening to my hard-core Republican grandparents talk last weekend, and this totally makes my day. Yay! Thanks Mad Magazine, thanks Atrios!
I've always liked Camille Paglia's simple formulation "Christianity never conquered paganism." There's no way Jesus' ascetic philosophy can be strictly applied to any civilization, and that's the source of a big rift in western civ. A true Xian culture would not only do away with the army, it would reject commerce, science and art as worldly vanities. Would you want to live there? That's why the fundies used to reject politics as "worldly," and I wish they'd revert to the old school, since applying Xian principles to government is a doomed venture from the start. Maybe that's why the fundies are so crazy and vindictive now.
Arrest that fershlugginer hippie!!
Fantastic! I forwarded to our priest the moment I saw it.
My recollections of the MAD of my youth is that they were anti-anything that took itself too seriously.
Something a bit off topic, but I heard an NPR piece recently about how the vatican clarified its position on voting for pro-choice candidates. Apparently Ratzinger said it was permissable for Catholics to so vote if there were overriding conditions for doing so.
Just FYI. I could google for it but I have to run.
KERRY CAN STILL WIN
Guffaw! How desperate is a defensive assertion like that?
1) He needs to kick aas in the debates
The idea of the French-looking, haughty Kerry going head to head with folksy GW is something every Republican looks forward to. Unless you are naive enough to believe that such debates are decided on the merits, rather than perception. Remember 2000? Al Gore I, aka The Sighing Man, and Al Gore II, aka The Drugged Robot. And you can picture monotone, condescending Kerry doing better?
2) He needs a high turnout in the base(blacks,hispanics, jews, unions, women)
All of the recent poll internals show this is a pipe dream. Kerry himself HAS no base to turn out. "Anyone But Bush" has failed as an election strategy.
3) He needs a hihg percent of new voters
Convicted felons, perhaps? Too bad he'll lose the 60,000 voters, mostly Democrats, who illegally voted in both New York and Florida in 2000.
Limbaugh is out of control and going ballistic. He is acting like its been proven that the documents have been forged and the Kerry campaign is responsible.
Media: Jesus, your opponent says you're hanging out with prostitutes?
Jesus: Mars, bitches! My Dad created Mars!
I was the 12:42 Anonymous, if anyone cares. Compulsive cookie-killing causes some problems
Limbaugh is out of control and going ballistic. He is acting like its been proven that the documents have been forged and the Kerry campaign is responsible.
More likely this is a Rove ploy, a la 'debate-tape-gate' of 2000.
More breaking news..... Nazareans for Truth say Jesus' injuries on the cross were "self inflicted and little more than a scratch." Bush denies any conection to the group.
JESUS UPDATE:
I'll pay 1000 bucks to anyone that can give me the location of Walter Crankcase.
'Kerry can still win" strawman.
Kerry is ahead. National polls are worthless.
Wow, who knew Mad still had teeth?
GWB: Like God - Only Better
Freakin' hilarious. This should be sent to all evangelical churches across the nation. I think I'll print it out and give it to the woman here who thinks Bush is just fine because he's "Christian."
General Clark gave a wonderful speech at John Hopkins yesterday. IT's playing on C-SPAN today. Take a look.
The Chimp is the new, improved Lord.
That Bible shit just keeps us bored.
You won't catch the Boss
Nailed up on a cross.
Surely, His devoutness cannot be ignored.
You libruhls don't get it.
Jesus was soooooooooo 9/10.
This just in: Garden of Eden debacle blamed on "a few bad apples"
bdm-*tish*
(follow my link and I'll promise to try and like you)
I saw that guy at the NYC protests.
start printing this guys...paste it up everywhere you go the malls bathrooms ,EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!1 GO
You listen to RUSH? I cant stand listening to anything one-sided.
Holy Haploid CHRIST!
that's a good ad!
Jesus - dies on the cross
Jesus - rises from th dead
Jesus - FLIP-FLOP
Did Jesus where sandals...
or
...FLIP-FLOPS? lol
wear - that is
Nice.
Mike G, brilliant!
JESUS UPDATE:
A political firestorm erupted late Friday when Jesus was seen assaulting a group of priests at the cathedral fundraiser. Eyewitnesses say the candidate stormed into the cathedral, kicked over tables, and yelled about his father's house. When asked about the episode, Jesus's father said he never owned a house.
Republican national Commitee head Ed Gillespie said that Jesus is claiming to be the son of God, himself. The serious charge levied against Jesus's camapign came just as allegations of witchcraft and pandering began to surface. "He just does not represent the values of middle America" said Gillespie. "Maybe in Galilee his antics are acceptable, but here, the rule of law is important!"
Developing...
funny:
Drug wars
While there has been a lull in the war of words between Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) and billionaire philanthropist George Soros, Hastert's role in U.S. drug policy continues to be examined. The National Security Archive has obtained declassified U.S. government cables. One cable reports that Hastert met with Colombian military officials in 1997 to assure them that he would work to de-link security aid and human rights conditions even though Congress was working to attach human rights conditions to U.S. aid. In another cable, former U.S. Ambassador Myles Frechette decries the fact that a shipment of items destined for the military - which had been held up pending negotiations - arrived in Colombia while the Hastert delegation was in country, undermining Frechette's leverage with the Colombian military leadership.
http://www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/NSA...SAEBB/NSAEBB69/
Jesus was a girlie-man.
The Old Grey Chicken of Journalism
--------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
The New York Times denies permission for Michael Moore to reprint article for upcoming book
Friday, September 10, 2004
--------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
(09-10) 09:28 PDT NEW YORK (AP) --
The New York Times will not permit Michael Moore to include an article criticizing its own reporting for an upcoming companion book to the DVD release of the filmmaker's "Fahrenheit 9-11."
"We strongly value The Times's neutrality in its election coverage and we are determined not to associate ourselves with any work in film or print that attacks either candidate," New York Times spokeswoman Catherine Mathis said in a statement released Thursday.
OT, from the General:
Man charged in apparent circumcision of son, 8
The Bible apparently inspired a Ridgefield man to try to circumcise his 8-year-old son, but then he called 911 because he was concerned about the amount of blood the youngster was losing.
Edwin Bruce Baxter, 33, made his first appearance Tuesday in Clark County Superior Court.
He has been charged with first-degree assault of a child. If convicted, he faces at least 10 years in prison.
Baxter was arrested Friday and taken to the Clark County Jail. His son was taken to Southwest Washington Medical Center, where he received several stitches.
On Tuesday, Superior Court Judge Diane Woolard set bail at $50,000.
She appointed attorney Tony Lowe to represent Baxter and set arraignment for Sept. 17.
Baxter lives with his wife and nine children in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom home. He supports his family with the $3,000 a month he earns as a truck driver with Helser Brothers Transfer Co. in Portland, according to documents filed in court.
Clark County senior deputy prosecutor Kim Farr said Baxter has a 1993 conviction for domestic violence, and was arrested for the same charge in 1994 but the case was dismissed.
...
This wasn't the first time someone from the state had tried to contact the Baxters. The parents have been reported for allegedly failing to enroll their children in school or in an approved home-school program.
"We've had some past referrals for educational neglect ... but we've never been able to lay eyes on these parents," Lehrman said.
He did not have the ages of the other children reportedly living in the home.
According to a probable-cause affidavit written by a Clark County sheriff's deputy, Baxter said he tried to circumcise his son with a knife in the bathroom after reading Genesis 17 and Exodus 4. Both biblical chapters refer to circumcision.
Anyone care to guess who this guy will be voting for?
WOW. I'm still watching General Was Clark. God...he's just an amazing speaker when he's not under the pressure of a presidential campaign. Catch this if you can, including the Q&A.
Clark for Defense Secretary!
Thanks for that Gallilean Citizens for Truth.
Best laugh I've had in a while.
Excellent.
Bill Gaines would be proud!
He rallied against censorship and the 'seduction of the innocent' fascist bullshit, and he would rally against this administration too.
Mad Magazine and it's publishers are now all dead men and women. I hope you all realize this?
They are going to be hounded by family groups who will accuse them of trying to indoctrinate their children, even though they don't force anything upon them.
This has put one big bullseye on their backs and they are going to suffer for it.
MYOB'
.
Wacky conspiracy theory #52
What if the documents' content is authentic, but they were retyped by someone in Microsoft Word, and replaced?
Then, sources would confirm the authenticity of the content, while it would be a perfect setup for a forgery discrediting.
Not saying I'm convinced that these are WordPerfect documents, but just throwing that out there.
That sums it up so entirely perfectly! Way to go, Mad!
I pretty much quit reading Mad in the mid-1970s. But I remember from the late-1960s/early-1970s some wicked pieces on the environment, civil rights and other social issues.
In the Gospels you can find a perfect picture of GWB in what Jesus railed against -- one who prays in public for show, invokes the Lord's name while trashing the least among us, and gathers up riches in money and not good works.
Bush's greed is especially ironic considering his Apocalypse obsession - Jesus stated again and again that material wealth is not what he's going to judge by.
If they're right about Jesus coming back, I think they have a little surprise coming.
Jesus/Kucinich 2008
"Behold, I come like a thief in the night."
Jesus Christ: Take Him At His Words.
Okay so I was heading down the stairs to the Green Line at Park St in Boston. There was a good deal of smoke billowing out of the station and on up the stairs. What did I and the others do? Turn and run screaming "attack ,attack"?
Hell no. We went in and waited for the next train - apparently a transformer on one caught fire.
My point is that we deal we this shit every day and I am sick of all these pussies - especially those in rural Texas and Alabama - running around panting over the next attack.
They're not coming for you. And I doubt they are coming for me. Could it happen? Sure. Does it mean I'm walking instead of taking the train? No effin way.
And what do I stare at in the station - ads from Tom Ridge saying women should pack a transistor radio in their makeup bag...just in case.
How big a pussy does a thing like that?
Debating the authenticity of the letters seems comparable to debating where or not Kerry ever entered Cambodia. Because of intervening circumstances, included among them 30 years of time passage, I don't see how either of these issues can be accurately settled.
It's comparable to investigating the infamous conspiracy or grassy knoll theory of the Kennedy assinination in order to determine whether or not Kennedy actually died.
We know Kerry received several medals from the Navy for his actions in Vietnam.
What do we know about Bush that is anywhere near comparable? None of the other stuff matters.
JESUS BURNS BUSH - TAKES MAJORITY OF CRISIAN VOTE
Fawlwell - Roberts still back GWB...
Paul was Jesus' Rove. The repugs far prefer Paul to Jesus...
Jesus is enemy combatant. His ass belongs to Gitmo!
Hunter at DailyKos pretty much sums up the wingnut idiocy re the "forgeries": http://tinyurl.com/6ohgl.
This reminds me of all the Clinton "scandals". The press goes nuts for a few days, then it turns out "ooops, we were wrong." These are going to turn out to not be forgeries. Why am I confident of this? Because we know Bush was AWOL, we know he was grounded, we know he refused his physical. Because if he weren't, we'd have heard no freaking end of his service to the nation from all the men who served with him.
They've fucking lied to us about everything else. Why should this be any different? Rove created the "forgeries"? Sorry, I don't think so.
Jesus of Nazareth has tried to portray himself as a humble carpenter, born in a manger to poor parents. New allegations, however, cast doubt on this story. Here are some quotes from the people who actually live and work with Jesus:
"I paid Jesus for a spice rack. It took him a month, and when I got it, it was just a rough-hewn board balanced on two rocks."
"I know some carpenters...REAL carpenters. And they don't have the time or money to hang around with prostitutes all day long."
"Manger? I'd call it a shed. And a pretty nice shed, at that. Most people I know would've been very happy to be born in it. Speaking for myself, I was born on a dunghill."
Jesus: He's Not Who He Says He Is.
Must repeat this one.
"More breaking news..... Nazareans for Truth say Jesus' injuries on the cross were "self inflicted and little more than a scratch." Bush denies any conection to the group.
Mike G"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BTW, Al Franken has a whole chapter called "Supply side Jesus" which is friggin' hilarious.
Very, very good.
Someone upthread mentioned Limbaugh. From the (thankfully) few times I've tried to listen to him, what you described is his standard M.O: distort some news item, state the distortion as if it were fact, then do the show on it. How do you think that outrageous percentage of Americans ended up so horribly misinformed about the nationality of the 9/11 hijackers? And many other subjects, of course. The Wurlitzer isn't just Fox News.
And since I've already wandered O.T, does anybody else find the new Swift Boat ad kind of funny? "The nation's symbols, like the heros they represent, should be respected." And the rest of the ad is, of course, bad-mouthing Kerry, the war hero.
Symbols over substance. It's the Republican Way.
Jesus sure did hang out and "travel with" a bunch of men, didn't he? You gotta wonder about a guy who wears a robe, sandals, has long hair, and hangs out with that many men. What do you bet they're having Gay Jesus Orgies?
VOTE NO ON GAY JESUS ORGIES!
Quick Vote
Do you think the recently released memos on President Bush's National Guard service are authentic?
Yes
No
www.cnn.com
>Limbaugh is out of control and going ballistic. He is acting like its been proven that the documents have been forged and the Kerry campaign is responsible.
Must be the Hillbilly heroin (oxycontin) speakin'.
BTW, if that boil on his butt--the one that got him out of service in Vietnam--has been repaired, maybe he should consider enlisting for service in Eye-Rack.
OT: via the Eggman, it appears that Dan Rather is virtually staking his career on the veracity of the memos:
CNN TRANSCRIPT:
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAN RATHER, CBS NEWS ANCHOR: I know that this story is true. I believe that the witnesses and the documents are authentic. We wouldn't have gone to air if they would not have been. There isn't going to be -- there's no -- what you're saying apology?
QUESTION: Apology or any kind of retraction or...
RATHER: Not even discussed, nor should it be. I want to make clear to you, I want to make clear to you if I have not made clear to you, that this story is true, and that more important questions than how we got the story, which is where those who don't like the story like to put the emphasis, the more important question is what are the answers to the questions raised in the story, which I just gave you earlier.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
Mike G
More breaking news..... Nazareans for Truth say Jesus' injuries on the cross were "self inflicted and little more than a scratch."
BEST. COMMENT. EVER.
OT, but this is now up at Drudge.
'"The reputation and integrity of the entire news division is at stake, if we are in error, it will be corrected," a top CBS source explained late Thursday.
The source, who asked not to be named, described CBSNEWS anchor and 60 MINUTES correspondent Dan Rather as being privately "shell-shocked" by the increasing likelihood that the documents in question were fraudulent."
This is soooooo typical of the whore news. The entire integrity of news is at stake not because of the phoney SBVT scandal, nor the covering up for criminal leaks concerning CIA agents, nor leaks from an Iranian spy and selling an illegal war.
No. This "forgery" issue is what will bring down the integrity of the media.
In case you were wondering what sort of twisted person would describe Little Green Footballs as "wonderful," you can find out by clicking here.
I think some one should investigate Michael Dobbs --there is something about him that is just not right and
isn't it odd how the Bush bias always seems to be his point of view
was that limbaughblower asking rather the questions?
In case you were wondering what sort of twisted person would describe Little Green Footballs as "wonderful," you can find out by clicking here.
Philalethes | Email | Homepage | 09.10.04 - 1:35 pm | #
Are Syrian musicians still trying to kill me?
Is Rachel Corrie still dead and is she still trying to burn my flag?
Is there a such thing as Palestine?
Arrrgggghhhh. It would be like the Nation quoting David Duke. When will the SCLM get a clue.
JESUS UPDATE:
Jesus remained in custody today even while a member of his band was an apparent victim of suicide. Police are still investigating the incident, but apparently Judas Iscariot hung himself on an Olive tree late Thursday evening. Police say Iscariot's body was found with a large quantity of Silver. It is unknown where Iscariot got the silver, but investigative reporter Michelle Malkin thinks the suicide is suspicious.
"Iscariot was having an affair with Mary Magdalene." quoted Malkin in her most recent collumn. "Jesus found out about the affair and bumped him off." When told about the allegations, Jesus's campaign manager said, "Jesus, I never met the guy." he repeated the claim two more times then stormed off.
"Clearly, the Jesus campaign is unraveling before our eyes." Said Ed Gillespie. "I think it is safe to conclude that Jesus's leftist rhetoric and pacifist policies will not make it into the Whitehouse in Novmber."
Developing...
Mad Magazine nails it.
... Woodruff repeatedly suggested that, because he received an honorable discharge, Bush must have fulfilled his duty.
Christ was crucified. The Romans didn't do that to just any old crook. He must have been a big-time criminal.
Hey, I did this a while ago. Is Mad reading the dKos diaries?
--Stu
wtfwjd,
I don't blame him. Didn't CBS News and 60 Minutes especially get burnt a few months back for buying some slick talker's snake oil and putting what turned out to be false info on the air? That's been the kicker for me in this whole mess: CBS would not have gone after the president unless its ass was firmly and completely covered.
I must say, the universal chorus of "forgery!" was very fast and very highly coordinated even by RNM standards.
Somewhat OT, I earler said that "sugar coat" had grated on my ears a bit, in context. But that useage goes back to 1870, so I stand corrected...and I'm not surprised, either. Don't know why I felt that way, really; I should know better. Maybe I was just blindly seizing on the one word as indicative of a certain...strangeness about the language.
Jesus of Nazareth has tried to portray himself as a humble carpenter, born in a manger to poor parents.
More recent revelations indicate he was actually conceived before his mother was married to his father; that he was born in Bethlehem but moved to Egypt shortly after his birth under mysterious circumstances; that his family relocated to Nazareth upon their return to the country. And a conflicting story says his parents always lived in Nazareth, went to Bethlehem for family reasons; and then returned to Nazareth.
The conflicting stories cannot be reconciled based on available records. Jesus could not be reached for comment.
Best. Atrios. Thread. Ever.
Phila,
I attended a Berkeley College Republicans meeting last night for a story I'm writing for The Gadflyer, and was shocked to see that Little Green Footballs isn't just read by dudes in basements, but by freshly-scrubbed, all-American white frat boys.
Assuming they're authentic, it might be nice if this became a matter of personal/professional integrity for Rather. The only worse possibility than forgeries is that they're legit but overshadowed by unwarranted doubt. (see Foster, Vince; water, White-).
Danny might want to verify their authenticity then trumpet that fact to call out all the naysayers.
I thought I'd introduce a possibly unfamiliar yet useful word.
The word is "kakistocracy"
From dictionary.com:
kak·is·toc·ra·cy
n. pl. kak·is·toc·ra·cies
Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.
No special reason - I just thought you might like
to learn a new word.
To recap from the thread above:
Nazareans for Truth(news, websites) say Jesus' injuries on the cross were "self inflicted and little more than a scratch," and not worthy of the attention he has garnered. George W. Bush has denied any connection to the “shadowy” group. Developing . . .
Jesus of Nazareth has tried to portray himself as a humble carpenter, born in a manger to poor parents.
More recent revelations indicate he was actually conceived before his mother was married to his father; that he was born in Bethlehem, but moved to Egypt shortly after his birth under mysterious circumstances; that his family relocated to Nazareth upon their return to the country. This just in…A conflicting story says his parents always lived in Nazareth, went to Bethlehem for family reasons; and then returned to Nazareth.
The conflicting stories cannot be reconciled based on available records.
Jesus could not be reached for comment.
This goes alongside the George Bush Action Figure that could stick its head up its own ass. Also a Mad Magazine bit of satire.
What happens when satire is merely true? Have we finally killed irony? The Daily Show. The Onion. Mad Magazine.
You have to go to these sources to get the truth about our strange circumstances. "Strange days, indeed...{Unbelievable, mama!)"
"It looks like this Jesus fellow has lost his cool. He was looking angry and 'wild-eyed' on the Mount."
- Ed Gillespus
Onion: Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To
Discredit Kerry
Nazareth Disciples for Truth:
"When Jesus accused Judas of betrayal, he was basically accusing all of us of betrayal - and that still hurts"
"Jesus said he was in Bethlehem on Christmas back in '00, but that has been proven to be a lie"
"Jesus flip-flopped when he said to love they neighbor, and then he went postal on the guys selling trinkets in the temple. I just can't trust him after that"
"Jesus is unfit to lead"
Vote Bush/Cheney 2004
..
Hmmm, so Bush was supposedly AWOL thirty years ago? Meanwhile, John Kerry is MIA today:
NEW ORLEANS -- Who knows what lurks in the heart and mind of Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry?
Not the traveling press corps, that's for sure.
Kerry has been under wraps for the last month, declining to subject himself to what must surely be the painful process of answering national reporters' questions.
Kerry used to regularly assure his audiences that, if elected president, he would hold a press conference every month to communicate with the nation's citizenry. (That was a not-so-subtle dig at President Bush, who has held only 12 formal press conferences during his four years in office, a record low number.)
"I have pledged that I am going to have a press conference at least once a month to talk to the nation about what I'm doing because I don't have anything to hide," Kerry said during a campaign stop in Beloit, Wis., after the Democratic National Convention. "I want America to know what I'm doing. I want you to know what I'm fighting for. I want you to ask me questions."
But Kerry doesn't make that promise anymore.
I must say, the universal chorus of "forgery!" was very fast and very highly coordinated even by RNM standards.
the press knows the RNC is lying, bush knows he is lying, all on this fourum knows he is lying, and even the avg. joe/jane know in their heart of hearts they are lying- but we still dance at this fucken sick masquerade ball... I am saddened by what our country has become- someone has a song regarding Jesus second coming only to be gunned down by the CIA- not to preach but to paraphrase the bible makes mention of those who swallow camels; but strain on gnats...
I think this is what we become- the unnecessary slaughter of tens of thousands of innocent folks in Iraq should have been more than enough to rouse the sleeping US majority- but they will mostly be tuning in their radios and tv's for the latest RNC proaganda de jeur- I know its as old as the hills however, it doesn't hurt any less...
I need some help guys...Can anyone help me dissect some of this crud from a friend of mine. He is a Bush backer to a degree. He is intelligent but listens to the right wing talk show host etc. I asked him to come up with some lies or problems he had with John Kerry. He gave me a laundry list that I want to destroy piece by piece. However time will limit my ability to do this and I don't know where to turn for help. I don't need to debunk or explain all of these but a few big ones would be great...heres his list.
Sorry if this is inappropriate but I don't know where to turn for help. Anything anyone contributes would be greatly appreciated. If I am told to go BLANK myself I would understand that as well.
Drew
--------------------------------------
plain and simple. Going to Vietnam and visiting the Vietcong after the war while he was still in the Navy was also wrong. I hear his picture is hanging in the Vietnamese Communist War Remnants Museum (formerly known as the "War Crimes Museum") in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), a photograph of John Kerry hangs in a room dedicated to the anti-war activists who helped the Vietnamese Communists win the Vietnam War. The photograph shows Senator Kerry being greeted by the General Secretary of the Communist Party of Vietnam, Comrade Do Muoi. He was honored by Vietnam almost as a hero as well as in the USA if this is true. Unprecedented during war. I have no idea if this is true but I haven't seen anything contradicting this yet...
I know he was doing this stuff back then for political gain but he should come clean. The atrocities as he explained them were policy all the way up the command...do you believe this?
Questions for you:
Is it even possible some of the negative claims the Swift Boat Vets have made are true?
Is it even possible he stabbed the other Vietnam vets in the back by being the major vet for the "Winter Soldier Investigation"?
Is it even possible most of the "Winter Soldier Investigation" is not true? Is it even possible he took his book titled "Tour of Duty" off the shelf because it signifies how ashamed he is of this book and/or its cover (although he'll never admit it)?
Is it even possible Kerry is unfit for command because of the atrocities he claimed he was a part of?
Is it even possible Kerry tossed his metals?
Is it even possible Kerry could toss someone else's metals and still be proud of his?
Is it even possible John Kerry's exploits caused more deaths to American soldiers considering his picture is hanging in the Vietnamese Communist War Remnants Museum?
Here's other more specific info about his past:
John Kerry is running as a Vietnam veteran. The Kerry campaign website
states: "When John Kerry returned home from Vietnam, he joined his fellow veterans in vowing never to abandon future veterans of America's wars. Kerry's commitment to veterans has neve
Wow, 20 years later and the transformers in Park St. Station are STILL catching fire all the time? (rolls eyes) I especially liked the time I went down the stairs and the whole place was full of about 6 feet of water... "okay, I guess today I walk to school.." (grin)
The freepers and little green fascists are now saying that the whole New Testament is a forgery, citing that ancient Greek could not have been written in Judea at the time, according to expert Xian Scientists consulted on the matter.
Also, the world isn't round. It is, in fact, shaped like a burrito.
Developing.
NEW ORLEANS -- Who knows what lurks in the heart and mind of Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry?
Not the traveling press corps, that's for sure.
I like this aspect of his campaign, actually. I don't think it's a bad idea at all. If he wants to lay low 'til the debates, good for him.
Of course, he's giving speeches almost daily...if they want to know what he thinks, then they can listen to those, right?
They're a pack of tedious self-regarding popinjays...vain beyind endurance. The less he talks to them directly, the more I like him.
Just for fun, take the quiz at votingcatholic.org
(via comments at Political Animal)
.
Great Cthulhu:
When it comes to LGF just remember,
"Those who post on Green Footballs,
roll their sh......"
This just in...
Further investigation indicates that Jesus, aka "Yeshua" was most likely a marijuana dealer, although he claims "medicinal" use of this illegal drug as a cover for his operations.
HAL:
Great Cthulhu doesn't post or even lurk on LGF -- there are some things that even Cthulhu wouldn't put in his mouth.
BTW:
Daily Kos has picked up on the story as well.
can someone help me, I am obsessed with John Kerry service in Viet Nam 30 years ago. I am fixated on every word he has uttered about it I analyze and analyze. I stay nights sometimes researching typing my long drawn out asinine and overly simplistic talking points. It gives me some sort of perverse pleasure to engage others on meaningless discourse about a war I have only read about and discovered on talk radio. Can someone help me out?
Drew:
Is it even possible some of the negative claims the Swift Boat Vets have made are true?
See snopes.com and factcheck.org. See also swiftboatliars.com. Between them, they document every lie these guys have told.
Is it even possible he stabbed the other Vietnam vets in the back by being the major vet for the "Winter Soldier Investigation"?
He was asked to do what he did by the veterans themselves. Read the circumstances under which the investigation was conducted. Reflect on the fact that we KNOW that atrocities took place (cf. My Lai, Tiger Force). Read the transcript of Kerry's statement; it's staunchly pro-veteran. There's no doubt some vets are angry at Kerry, but there's no reason to say that the vets who feel that way are right, and the ones who don't are wrong.
Is it even possible most of the "Winter Soldier Investigation" is not true?
No. As usual in winger logic, the possibility that something uncomfortable isn't true is proof that it isn't true. The WSI is supremely credible. Google it and read about it.
Is it even possible Kerry is unfit for command because of the atrocities he claimed he was a part of?
Kerry, to my knowledge, never claimed to have committed atrocities a la WSI. Ever.
Is it even possible Kerry could toss someone else's metals and still be proud of his?
Of course. Why wouldn't it be? You can be proud of conducting yourself well in a bad situation, right?
Is it even possible John Kerry's exploits caused more deaths to American soldiers considering his picture is hanging in the Vietnamese Communist War Remnants Museum?
What caused the deaths of American soldiers was the American policy in Vietnam. To the extent that Kerry arguably shortened the war by speaking out, he probably SAVED lives. But it's allidle speculation.
The "War Remnants" museum sounds like bullshit...but if not, so what? Your friend's argument seems based on a belief idea that the war was just, winnable, and sane. It wasn't. You don't refuse to do what's right for your country because "communists" might hang your picture in a museum. Kerry spoke out out of conscience, not for the honor of having his picture hung in some building in Vietnam.
"The Kerry campaign's decision to keep their candidate at arm's length from the press corps is hardly unusual in presidential campaigns. In 1996, Bob Dole, the Republican nominee, stopped hanging out with the news media after repeatedly saying what he actually thought rather than what his campaign staff wanted him to say.
In 2000, Al Gore kept his distance from reporters, too, at one point going two months without direct contact. And then-Texas Gov. George W. Bush used to schmooze with his press corps on a daily basis at the back of his campaign plane, but would often retreat whenever someone popped a policy question."
Hate to break it to you loser liberals, but that is NOT a picture of Jesus. It is an obviously and clumsily forged PHOTOGRAPH of an OIL PAINTING
NEITHER OF WHICH EXISTED 2000 YEARS AGO!!
Has any troll slobbered onto the thread with something along those lines yet? LOL
Did some research on the museum in Vietnam. The picture of Kerry--assuming it's actually on the wall, though I don't see why it wouldn't be--is dated 1993, for fuck's sake. Big fucking deal, right? He went over there in 1993 and met with some officials and they put a picture of the meeting on the wall. All it says is "Mr. Do Muoi, Secretary General of the Vietnam Communist Party met with Congressmen and Veterans Delegation in Vietnam (July 15-18, 1993).
It's interesting to imagine that Kerry's anti-war activities somehow gave superpowers to Vietnamese soldiers...like suddenly they could kill TWO Americans per bullet, instead of one.
What a bunch of weirdos.
MAD is to regular newsmagazine as the Daily Show is to regular news programs.
This just in:
What do we know about this Jesus of Nazareth, anyway? Some say he is John the Baptist. Some say he is Elijah, or one of the prophets. Some say he is the Son of God.
Why can't he level with the American people? Where does he come from, Nazareth or Bethlehem or Egypt?
Tell Jesus to quit lying and tell the truth.
Call 1-800-666-EVIL today, to donate to Disciples for the Truth.
Nothing like taking a few biblical quotes out of context. Especially when those all apply to the individual. And since when did lefties want church and state to share principles? Each frame deals with god's commandment to the individual, to be generous, compassionate, patient.
If you are going to have the quote of "Render therefore unto Caeser the things which are Caeser's" you should acknowledge the authority vested in those above you whom you may not like or agree with. The render quote is really a stretch for raising taxes.
Also the turning the other cheek is lame also because you could also quote the bible when it says "an eye for an eye"
It's blasphemous and stupid to try to manipulate scripture for political gain. I don't like it when Republicans do it, and it just makes Atrios look like a hypocrit considering his anger with Bush admin ties to the Christian right. But then again hypocrisy is the norm from Atrios, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Why does Jesus hate America?
Oh, nevermind. I think I know why Jesus hates America.
"Doubts have surfaced as to the authenticity of accounts of Jesus' ministry. The use of proportional fonts - not available until the second century - as well as the use of superscripts have led some to believe the scriptures were created on a Gutenberg press and then rubbed in dust from Nazareth to appear authentic. Galilean News anchor Cephas Rather is standing by his network in the midst of this controversy."
I'm glad we have the Mad Magazine vote.
Kewl, but who is the bearded lady?
Kewl, but who is the bearded lady?
Robert D,
Lighten up, Francis. Did you not recognize the picture of the goofy dude with the jug ears? It's from Mad Magazine, which means it's a joke. Satire. It's making fun of Bush and his constant thumping of the Bible for political gain. Again...it's a joke from a magazine that sort of made it's whole career on irreverence.
And as for blasphemy, prove to me that, without a shadow of a doubt, the Swingin' Nazz not only was the son of the Supreme Creator of the universe, but actually existed, and I'll worry about blasphemy. As Ambrose Bierce said, it's merely my irreverence to your deity, and frankly, the idea of a Supreme Being that doesn't have a sick sense of humor doesn't quite grok with what I see on this, the third stone from the Sun.
Hell, if there is a God, I've often wonder what he's smoking. You ever seen a platypus? Seriously. The Big Man gets the good dank.
"Also the turning the other cheek is lame also because you could also quote the bible when it says "an eye for an eye"
>>If I remember correctly from my religious indoctrination days, Jesus was supposed to be the Final and Ultimate Authority and Reinterpreter on what was written in the Old Testament. He is supposed to be, after all, the Son of God, and therefore, can do as much flip-flopping as He and his Dad see fit. You might even call Jesus' ministry "The Corrections."
"It's blasphemous and stupid to try to manipulate scripture for political gain."
>>Oh Goddess! Did you really say that? I hope you were as outraged when scripture was used to justify slavery and are now furious every time it is used to justify hatred of our gay brothers and sisters.
"I don't like it when Republicans do it, and it just makes Atrios look like a hypocrit considering his anger with Bush admin ties to the Christian right."
>>How the hell does Atrios' anger with the fundamentalists have anything to do with pointing out hypocrisy? That's what the comparison of Jesus' words with Republican ideology is about.
"But then again hypocrisy is the norm from Atrios, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.--Robert D"
>>No hypocrisy here. And BTW, Atrios didn't write it, the satire is from Mad Magazine. He merely passed it on for our amusement.
Take your outrage to the fundies.
they'd juxtapose jesus with osama.
"well lookey here. jesus IS al qaeda. why, they even look alike."
It's blasphemous and stupid to try to manipulate scripture for political gain. I don't like it when Republicans do it, and it just makes Atrios look like a hypocrit considering his anger with Bush admin ties to the Christian right. But then again hypocrisy is the norm from Atrios, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Your kidding, right? You don't recognize parody when you see it, and you consider this blasphemy?
How about George W. calling Jesus his "political philosopher"? Or was it "favorite philosopher?" Dubya, who claims to be a Christian, but never met a death sentence he couldn't approve. Who lies without compunction or remorse. Who seems to think "turn the other cheek" applies only to his enemies.
As a Christian minister, I am offended, not by this parody (which I find so funny because it is so true) but by Bush's complete warping of the teachings of Jesus that they are unrecognizable.
Face him with those teachings in this way, I expect this would be precisely the answer the campaign would give.
Robert D is satire.
Has to be to be so obtuse and intentionally mean-spirited. Certainly he doesn't claim to be a Christian, and that's fair, since he couldn't be and not feel shame for what's being done in the name of Christ.
though I don't know why he would bring blasphemy into the argument, since he obviously doesn't have the Christ in his heart. Robert D is like so many of his brethren, a frightened man clinginng on to the "community" of his frightened fellows, oblivious to the comfort that is promised one who genuinely accepts the word of Christ.
Too bad there are so many misguided "christians" in America today. Who to blame?
or perhaps in Robert's case, I should say it is the Spirit of Jesus's words that Robert seems to be missing.
Sorry, I should clarify that I mean Robert D.--not Mr. Jeffers.
Yes, I listen to Limbaugh. He gives me hope that there is a rational explanation for our ignorant electorate. The world would be better if Limbaugh were gone.
jesus would be smeared by the Galilaean Fishermen for Truth.
If that wimp Jesus were president, he'd be asking Congress to renew the ban on assault weapons.
According to high-ranking Jesus
advisor Matthew, the Man gave his
famous Sermon on the Mount (which
gave hope to peaceniks and other Islamofascists) on a hill, but the
Carville-like Luke said it was on a
level place. Can't these guys get their story straight?
Undisclosed Location-- AP. Today Vice President "Dick" Cheney told the hand-picked crowd at a bunker rally that if Jesus is elected, the United States should prepare for a catastrophic terrorist attack.
Somebody's brother once said, "Faith without works is dead." Truer words were never spoken and they could put a picture of George W Bullshit and John Asshole right next to them as Exhibits A and B.
Robert D, you stupid douche, "An eye for an eye" is from the old testament. The new testament symbolized a radical departure from that view. To the extent that the new testament contradicts the old, the new testament controls as the Christian view.
Also, you really sound like an idiot when you write:
"Render therefore unto Caeser the things which are Caeser's" you should acknowledge the authority vested in those above you whom you may not like or agree with. The render quote is really a stretch for raising taxes."
Oh really? Because as I recall, that quote from Jesus was his response to the Pharisees complaining about having to pay their taxes, dumbass.
[in Wall Street Pharisee garb]
Taxes? No, he was talking about the Norquistic Tax, lobbying, referred to by lefties as "bribery".
Oh Goddess! Did you really say that? I hope you were as outraged when scripture was used to justify slavery and are now furious every time it is used to justify hatred of our gay brothers and sisters.
Absolutely, God and Jesus never called for the hatred of anyone. If you want to classify homosexuality as a sin, that's your business for belief systems, but sin or not, Jesus never called for hatred. I'm equally outraged by any idiot that stands on a corner with a sign that says: "God hates fags" because that person is an idiot and is obviously doing something in his own name and beliefs, not truly in the name of God.
I don't claim to speak in the name of god because it would again be foolish. I said earlier that "i don't like it when Republicans do it," but i wouldn't count naming Christ as your favorite philosopher as the same thing. Obviously framing the war on Terror in religious terms horrifies me, but satire or turn about being fair play makes you no better than the target of your satire.
"Render therefore unto Caeser the things which are Caeser's" you should acknowledge the authority vested in those above you whom you may not like or agree with. The render quote is really a stretch for raising taxes."
Oh really? Because as I recall, that quote from Jesus was his response to the Pharisees complaining about having to pay their taxes, dumbass.
Yes it was directly as a result of taxes, but if you can't derive other lessons from Jesus's teachings then I'm not the dumbass. Taxes aren't the only thing you can render unto Caeser. The broader point was to respect authority, but to recognize who has the ultimate authority (meaning the Lord obviously) so taking a really strict view on the render unto caeser quote but then liberally applying the other quotes to liberal viewpoints is very hypocritical.
Yes, I see myself as a Christian, but i recognize my beliefs are just that; MY BELIEFS. I would not have the audacity to say I'm right and only I am in line with God's views. I try to live by my own best interpretation of God's word in my life, but if someone has a different interpretation, that's between them and God, not them and me.
The grand point is that using religion for political purposes is wrong, whether satire or for the purposes of a holy war, although I'll acknowledge the damage of the latter is far greater. But it still makes you a hypocrit. That's just observation.
Why don't modern westerners one intrinsic truth about the bible. That all those prohibitions against killing and retaliation were understood to be on the personal level. God is quite specific when he is talking on a nationstate level that violence is acceptable and correct when it comes to dealing with your enemies. It's kinda funny seeing phony Christians qoute the bible or use Jesus as a means to support their pacifism when the real Jesus would have viewed them as simple minded morons who can't get anything as simple as context correct.
Moses, you dumbass.
I think you took today's Stupid Troll award with your argument that Jesus had no problem with violence as long as it was at the state level. The pure-D, jaw-dropping ignorance of your post at 5:45 may pass into blogging history.
Moses, thank you for setting us straight. Only one small problem, many of the early Christians pacifist. It's only when they sold out to the Roman state that they developed excuses for largescale killing.
Moses, by the way, is one of the most blood thirsty figures of the ancient world. Give me the prophets, most of them, anyday. Seldom saw another people he didn't obliterate.
Asshat Sludge, telling isn't it that I'm wondering if Malkin did write that stuff. Sounds plausible to me.
Georgus, The son of Mammon. The real messiah of the fundy right.
The interesting thing is that some claim the book of Revelation has nothing to do with "the second coming" or anything like the way it is currently interpreted by Christians but rather it was an anti-Pauline screed writen in a kinda obscure "code-speak" that somehow ended up in the Christian Bible anyway.
The theory, for example, is that when it says the "number of the beast" it is essentially saying what is the beast's address - the Hebrew word for Tarsus has the numerical value of 666, so Revelation is telling us that St. Paul is the Beast.
The upshot of Revelation is that Pauline so-called "Christians", while elevating Jesus into a "God" were ignoring what this very real human was saying - and were agents of the devil, more or less.
And look at the sola fide, Pauline fundies today: they pray to Jesus but do not pay attention to his words ... they want to post the 10 commandments everywhere and thus idolize those very 10 commandments one of which prohibits idolatry.
What if this interpretation of The Book of Revelation is correct? What if today's "Christians" (whose symbol is the device used to execute Jesus - the sign of the Beast) really are followers of the Beast even as they think they follow God?
All I know is that some fundies are in for a rude awakening in the afterlife when they find they get to share a cell block in hell with the terrorists who thought they would be getting black-eyed virgins. Perhaps the virgin meme is a reference to fundies who think they get their virginity back when they are born again? So the Islamic terrorists will get to spend eternity with virgins? I.e. with born again Christians?
How deliciously appropriate ... how much in the spirit of an eye for an eye. How divine 
oops - sorry, forgot to close italics after the end of sola fide
Speaking of the Book of Revelations, nothing sums up the wingnuts' worshipful view of Dubya better than this line:
"Who is like unto the Beast? Who is able to make war with him?"
It's only when they sold out to the Roman state that they developed excuses for largescale killing.
What's especially fascinating to me is that the early Christians were accused by the Romans of ritualistically killing and eating infants. Once they got in power, they turned around and pinned the same story on the Jews.
Karl Rove has always been with us.
Poor Fielding Mellish, you couldn't refute a single thing a said so you fell into the lefty fallback of namecalling. Jesus was no pacifist, lest we forget an episode at the temple with merchants and a cat-of-ninetails. As a matter of fact he lived in a society that practiced the death penalty and he never once, NOT ONCE, spoke out against it...even when it was his life on the line. The fact is that Jesus understood things in their context, unlike the modern moronic version of pacifist psuedochristianity.
Personally I found the advert to be rather persuasive. Jesus would be about as effective as president of the USA as Nelson Mandela was in Africa.
What about when he turned out the money lenders?
Anti-Israel
The fact is that Jesus understood things in their context, unlike the modern moronic version of pacifist psuedochristianity.
Oh, you mean like Francis of Assissi? And Thomas Merton? And all those other people who refused to fight, and died as martyrs in Rome?
Those "modern moronic" practitioners of "pacifist pseudo-christianity"? People like Augustine, who struggled to reconcile war with the teachings of the Gospel? Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.? Julian of Norwich? St. Teresa of Avila?
All those? They're all morons, and "modern," and practice "pseudo-Christianity?"
Jesus said "My throne is not of this earth but of the Kingdom of Heaven"
Bush said "Jesus has pulled out of the race, and offered his endorcement to Bush/Cheney 04"
Jesus said, "What are these liberal athiests putting words in my mouth for?"
Whoa! - dropped in to say how appropo it is to have the Chimp and his team slamming Jesus as I'm sure Rove et al would do ("By the time I'm done with him, Americans won't know whether Jesus is the Son of God or the spawn of Satan! (evil cackling here)")and I have to read an ignoramous say that on a nation-state level Jesus, God was okay with killing????!!!!
Have you read the New Testament? Do you even know what's in that book? An eye for an eye and all that kick-ass fear the wrath of God stuff and he's okay with destroying nations is the OLD Testament.
You have listened to someone else's interpretation of the story of Jesus and he has brought OLD Testament wisdom to the story, and it's not there. Read the Book.
Letting someone else tell you what is in that book is a mistake. For myself, that was one book no one was ever going to tell me what was in it - I've read it four or five times and there's lots of surprises.
Obviously to you, one surprise would be that Jesus didn't want the Jews to rise up against the Romans - he was really a pascifist.
Start with the story - all four books are pretty quick reads - no endless begatting - Just Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John - Four different versions of the story of the lofe of Jesus and what he preached.
That's it. The New Testament is primarily the story of Christ, and the message is clearly expressed in these four tenets: Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you - Love Your Neighbor as You Love Yourself - Turn the Other Cheek - and Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged - There is also the message that you're forgiven your sins, your smallness - Jesus dies so that man can be forgiven it's failings.
- As a Christian when you fail to rise to the true heights of these tenets, to be that Good Samaritan to others, to rise above the pettiness of the 7 deadly sins, you are forgiven.
And, as a good Christian, you are supposed to pick yourself up dust yourself off and try again, harder - But remember, you're forgiven. How you treat any person is how you treat God. It's in the book.
(I'm making this stuff up as satire, ah screw 'em - let them sue me. Better yet - get me on their shows for rebuttal!)
They didn't say this, but you know they would......
Sean Hannity: "This guy is a dangerous liberal! Now more than ever you must listen to me! Only 3 hours a day! All I ask!"
Allan Colmes: (Soft whimper)
Bill O'Reilley: "Tonight on the factor: We have Satan and the RNC chairman to debunk these claims against Jesus"
Rush Limbaugh: "Now....This Jesus guy.....can you really trust him? He's a TERRORIST SYMPATHIZER!" (Hubba Hubba)
Michell Malkin: "Jesus is a "Gallilean"...I think that it is justified for ALL "Gallileans" to be interned in the name of national security!"
Michael Savage: "This SCUM is a self-hating Jew! He opposes the 'security wall'! He's like the 'Red-diaper-doper babies'!
He's SCUM! He's worse than the Homosexuals! HE'S A NAZI !!!!"
Ann Coulter: "I just wish that instead of New York, they had bombed Nazareth! We should just kill their leaders and convert
the them to Christianity" (actually she did say that last part)
William Kristol: "Well, I think that these misguided peoples need to be liberated, gain democracy, and have free markets"
Wow, I'm flattered that all you liberal athiests have rediscovered me. Does that mean you will stop killing innocent unborn babies in the name of "choice", instead of trying to protect murderers on death row?
Bush can do no wrong with the Jeebus crowd. Despite the fact that few if any of them know that the New Testament clearly indicts Bush and his policies, that never stopped Xians before from slaughtering infidels during the crusades, stealing the land of the aboriginal people, burning witches at Salem, or supported Hitler during his purge of the Jews.
Speaking of the Jeebus crowd, they were out in force this morning, gathering to support the Prozac queen, Laura.
If anyone's interested, I posted an article on my website of the event.
Man that Jesus guy gets around... I remember something about "Jesus was a Jedi"
*Sigh*
Maybe this will mean more Wine for the masses... and that can't be bad.
"Jesus said, "What are these liberal athiests putting words in my mouth for?"--Papertiger"
Main Entry: 1faith
Function: noun
b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof
"The grand point is that using religion for political purposes is wrong, whether satire or for the purposes of a holy war, although I'll acknowledge the damage of the latter is far greater. But it still makes you a hypocrit. That's just observation.--Robert D"
Okay, Robert D. You sound like a reasonable person, and I could probably have a good discussion with you on this.
But I respectfully disagree with your saying that using satire concerning religious matters is wrong. It can be useful in pointing out hypocrisy in religious institutions. Nothing wrong with that. It is a way of criticizing the people who purport to honor the word of God--not the Almighty.
I believe that Jesus himself in the New Testament ridiculed the Pharisees for their hypocrisy, didn't he?
No atheist here.
I think the number of possible things that might follow this life are infinite in number and atheists are as bad as believers to me. They know for sure there's no greater being and intelligence within the Universe! Who whispered that on your ear? What? A burning Bush didn't speak to you?
Who knows? Not me.
I'm Agnostic. Not knowable.
I was raised Catholic. I always believed the message. It's the messengers I have problems with - Jesus preached acceptance - I see manufactured divisions. We know what's right and wrong. Do the right thing for the right reason, not for some unearthly reward. The New Testament is a pretty good book.
There's something to be said for Ecclesiastes (Old)is actually pretty good too, if you can pretend to not notice the words, "Fear God," which are repeated endlessly throughout.
I'm always good for a chat - I think I'll go trolling... ta!
Yeah, but Bush is not running against Jesus, but JFK. You and JFK are free to do what you want, with your money. Don't pat yourself on the back for being so compassionate, when you are giving away my money.
Uh justintime, it's this administration with help fron the Republican House and the Republican Senate that have taken a surplus and turned it into a huge deficit
- Kerry proposes pay as you go for his programs, just like in the 90's - it worked - and a tax hike on the richest in '93 helped fuel 8 years where Clinton created 22,000,000 jobs and created that surplus - Bush is at negative something or other.
Kerry even proposes ending tax breaks for companies that outsource -
He offers those same companies enticements to reinvest those profits in the US with a 2 year tax amnesty (10%) and a lowering of the overall corporate tax rate 5% to 30 from 35.
Atsa' smart guy there. Wake and notice! It's the issues stupids.
These are the last 50 odd days and they can't get away with the lies - bombard the media outlets - scare your friends into helping, it's easy, this bunch does everything with impunity and a fawning right-wing press - prove it to your friends - Show them the Swift boat stuff - the ties to Saudi Arabia stuff - Cheney Haliburton Iran embargo stuff - the Plame stuff - the 9/11 stuff... they were asleep! - The Chalabi stuff - BCCI... the 1st damn President since 1932 to not create a single job -
As much as I'd like this to be from Mad Magazine, I just can't believe it. I think I smell a web-hoax here.
It is brilliant, though!
Excellent!
Plus, Jesus is a flip-flopper!
I was able to reproduce this in Word. This is a forgery.
I respect Jesus' record, but to call him "Messiah" and "King of Kings" and "Savior of Mankind"? He never bled, that I know of.
Bob your taking this thread to literally. And I'm not an athiest!
Im not
Im not
Im not
I believe that Jesus has the power to print a memorandum on a selectric and to miraculously kern its letters with proportional spacing and superscript.
I don't beleive CBS can do it, is all.
It's a legitimate piece from MAD #446 (October issue, "Fear Factor" cover-- page 32, to be precise).
If you liked the Jesus one, keep an eye cocked for #447 in a month. It's preadvertised as MAD's political issue, and it's filled with "October surprises."
MAD used to be political, haven't seen it in many years but this is good.
My crypto-fascist, highschool physics teacher used to rail against MAD magazine in class, confiscating it in study halls if you were stupid enough to let him see your copy.
The senile old Republican asshole is still kicking and once in a while writes a letter to the paper that seems to be right out of MAD magazine. Totally off the wall, sounding like a handout from 1950s anti-communist propaganda. No one takes it seriously.
So there is evidence for the existence of a just god. A god with a sense of humor.
"Wow, I'm flattered that all you liberal athiests have rediscovered me. Does that mean you will stop killing innocent unborn babies in the name of "choice", instead of trying to protect murderers on death row?"
Stop using my name! I never said anything about abortion. What have you done to minister to these poor souls who make what has be a difficult decision?
Why do you think all liberals are athiests? It seems most are doing more to follow my deeds and words than most of you so called Christians who pray loudly in public and use my Father as your own person political tool.
There is only one word for people like you:
HYPOCRITE
The fact is that Kerry is an awful candidate, but even he would be able to make mincemeat of Jesus in a campaign. If GWB ran this ad, he would be RIGHT. The big mystery for us foreigners is how come Christianity can still have some relvance in an apparently developed country.
Luke 12:51
Frank W. Griswold approves of this.
I've said this before, but who killed Jesus? The privileged, the powerful, the social and religious conservatives. In other words, the Bush constituency.
JESUS CHRIST
(Woody Guthrie)
Jesus Christ was a man who traveled through the land
Hard working man and brave
He said to the rich, "Give your goods to the poor."
So they laid Jesus Christ in his grave.
Jesus was a man, a carpenter by hand
His followers true and brave
One dirty little coward called Judas Iscariot
Has laid Jesus Christ in his grave
He went to the sick, he went to the poor,
And he went to the hungry and the lame;
Said that the poor would one day win this world,
And so they laid Jesus Christ in his grave.
He went to the preacher, he went to the sheriff,
Told them all the same;
Sell all of your jewelry and give it to the Poor,
But they laid Jesus Christ in his grave.
When Jesus came to town, the working folks around,
Believed what he did say;
The bankers and the preachers they nailed him on a cross,
And they laid Jesus Christ in his grave.
Poor working people, they follered him around,
Sung and shouted gay;
Cops and the soldiers, they nailed him in the air,
And they nailed Jesus Christ in his grave.
Well the people held their breath when they heard about his death,
And everybody wondered why;
It was the landlord and the soldiers that he hired.
That nailed Jesus Christ in the sky.
When the love of the poor shall one day turn to hate.
When the patience of the workers gives away
"Would be better for you rich if you never had been born"
So they laid Jesus Christ in his grave.
This song was written in New York City
Of rich men, preachers and slaves
Yes, if Jesus was to preach like he preached in Galillee,
They would lay Jesus Christ in his grave.
you always have to portray Jesus as a gorgeous white man. Effin racists. HE was good so that makes him WHITE!!!
Screw you all.
The African Rennaisance will CRUSH you all.
This is great!! Can't believe it came from Mad!!
That is freakin awesome!
Ahh, I get it...John Kerry is Jesus.
Jesus had it coming
Les funny!
They should've gone all out and depicted him as the middleeasterner he was instead of the usual "white dude w/ long hair" treatment.
Jesus votes Democrat.
I've lived in both places and that Jesus looks more like he's from Berkeley than from Israel.
To pragmatic realist: "The punishment of crucifixion was RESERVED for rebels..."
Ya he was a rebel, but get real. There were so many thousands of Jews crucified that the Romans ran out of trees to hang them on in once heavily-forested Israel and had to import timber. All the roads were lined with their victims.
The flaming lefties at Atrios' have found religion! What ever happened to your long history of atheism and agnosticism that came with your communist heritage?!
Oh, I know. Another flip-flop!
Yes, lets not forget about what Jesus did when he overturned the tables in the church because people were using it as a place of business....did he turn the other cheek then? There is a lot of stretching of the biblical truth in your picture. Yes, Jesus did say turn the other cheek, but he didn't in the church on this one instance...why is that? Just a question for thought and ponderance....something else....it is possible that the Bible says there are times when you shouldn't turn the other cheek...it might be worth your time to investigate.
Where'd I lay that cluebat?
If Jesus is God and if his words and deeds were recorded accurately, then many of us have a problem. But blind religious faith is one of the biggest problems in the world. For me, I respect innocent life. That means I do not adopt a house-rug pacifism which allows Jihadi Muslims (and all kinds of criminals) to rape, torture, kidnap, and kill people who were minding their own business. I kill the attackers to preserve the life of the innocent. And for those of you who are ignorant of history, The Jihadi Muslims have been attacking "Jews, Polytheists, Disbelievers, and Infidels," since about 622 C.E.
Disgusting.
Bet you swayed quite a few with that one--- over to the good side!
Disgusting.
Bet you swayed quite a few with that one--- over to the good side!
So you're saying that you believe that if Jesus were President (and keep in mind this is your stupid premise, not mine), that he would sit by and allow innocent women and children to be slaughtered by terrorists?
Idiots.
And yeah, I know it's satire and it's from Mad Magazine, but I'm talking to all of you who are saying how 'right on' it is and how it needs to be mailed to all the conservatives you know, etc.
Is this an actual page from Mad Magazine? And if it is...do you have written permission to copy and publish it on your website?
I am a graphic designer and think you may have copyright issues here.
TO: Atrios
RE: Jesus, Anyone?
When you finally accept Him, is when you'll finally appreciate Him.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
TO: stephd
RE: Ooops!
"...think you may have copyright issues here." -- stephd
If your ascertation is correct, Atrios may have a bit of a problem on his hands here.
Mad does not get mad, they can get downright nasty.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
P.S. I got a screen shot for posterity's sake.
Chuck,
I did the same.
I have also contacted Mad Magazine and informed them. I have had my designs ripped off for political use that represented the opposite of my views. As a designer, I don't appreciate it and it is against the law.
Copyright laws are very specific.
If Atrios does have written permission, then my concerns are moot.
Uhm, I wouldn't vote for Jesus.
Am I required to?
Jesus couldn't be President anyway. He's not a US citizen.
Mad Magazine has always had the most mature, most insightful, and most incisive political coverage of all the fart-joke magazines for little kids.
yeah because John Kerry is as great a Jesus. And Bush is the devil. It is unrealistic to live exactly as Jesus did. Humans are ultra fallible. The idea is to strive to live like Jesus, but the truth is that we will all fall short and succumb to greed, violence, etc. We cannot afford to turn the other cheek when attacked by radical Islam. Even the Catholic Church has ruled on Just War.
Lame
that's a bunch of crap and its not funny. kerry will get his ass kicked and he's full of crap, so leave bush alone faggots.
With the render unto Caesar quote is atrios trying to say that private property should not exist? It all belongs to the government some how?
The bright side of this commentary: it makes clear that the Christian Right is neither. I would have expected at least some _educated_ sniping. What does "private property" have to do with "what is Caesar's"? Hey, they put those bibles in the hotel drawers for a reason; read up on your subject matter.
BTW, get a sense of humor, too! This isn't about Jesus: it's about dishonesty and perversions of truth by the Bush campaign. Amen.
The bright side of this commentary: it makes clear that the Christian Right is neither. I would have expected at least some _educated_ sniping. What does "private property" have to do with "what is Caesar's"? Hey, they put those bibles in the hotel drawers for a reason; read up on your subject matter.
BTW, get a sense of humor, too! This isn't about Jesus: it's about dishonesty and perversions of truth by the Bush campaign. Amen.
The bright side of this commentary: it makes clear that the Christian Right is neither. I would have expected at least some _educated_ sniping. What does "private property" have to do with "what is Caesar's"? Hey, they put those bibles in the hotel drawers for a reason; read up on your subject matter.
BTW, get a sense of humor, too! This isn't about Jesus: it's about dishonesty and perversions of truth by the Bush campaign. Amen.
Yeah, I think they'd rather call liberals atheist supporters of "jihad-rape?" than ever admit Bush was wrong.
The problem with the left camp is we often lack unity because we're not as willing to lie or use third-grade labels to "win" political debates. Doesn't make us wrong, though.
Yeah, I think they'd rather call liberals atheist supporters of "jihad-rape?" than ever admit Bush was wrong.
The problem with the left camp is we often lack unity because we're not as willing to lie or use third-grade labels to "win" political debates. Doesn't make us wrong, though.
Yeah, I think they'd rather call liberals atheist supporters of "jihad-rape?" than ever admit Bush was wrong.
The problem with the left camp is we often lack unity because we're not as willing to lie or use third-grade labels to "win" political debates. Doesn't make us wrong, though.
I LOVE IT
I LOVE IT
What Jesus Christ was trying to tell us by this message was, that by meting out evil in response to evil, there will be nothing but the same. Love is more powerful than evil and hatred, because it is of the light, and light is more powerful than darkness. If enough love is handed out, the enemy will be drowned in it.
We can see the other way is not working, so why don't we have a go at something different? The whole world will rise with it.
your blog is good . i would like to wish you " Merry Christmas " to you and all of your blog visitors before i leave your blog
so what are yall tryen to say jesus is right or bush is right just to let you know they are bth right!
"It's sad when our humor publications are more accurate than say Time or Newsweek."
Not sad so much as telling. May we all recover our compassionate common sense, and become as fearless as our President-elect. Let the karmically-challenged continue to lie to an ever-shrinking audience...
"so what are yall tryen to say jesus is right or bush is right just to let you know they are bth right!
no name"
...And neither of them are you, or hadn't you noticed? Hold 'em both at arm's length, and think for yourself!
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