HaloScan.com - Comments

I'MMA LET YOU FINISH

Frist!
Miserable Failure | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:49 pm | #

where did i put those damn razor blades! that was BRUTAL!~
The Bear | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:50 pm | #

other frist?
Alex T. | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:50 pm | #

O'Reilly's creepy as hell.
Scooter | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:50 pm | #

Let me guess, he's talking to Ailes, right?
Gee | 10.13.04 - 5:50 pm | #

ewwwwww.
nolo | 10.13.04 - 5:51 pm | #

Check out the parts where Bill was using a vibrator on himself.
Carson | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:51 pm | #

Weapon of mass seduction
wÒÓ† | 10.13.04 - 5:51 pm | #

OH MY GOD
Onceler | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:51 pm | #

Does the falafel thingie go in the mark Hymen? I forget.. It's been a while since I read the textbook on wingnut sexual practices.
marky | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

Falafal!!!

So good with yogurt sauce!

Yum
Nancy Richardson | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

I thought President Bush only agreed to an interview with O'Reilly.
joshowitz | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

gee thanks Atrios- now please excuse me while i go boil my eyes-
focus | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

I was gettin' hot there for a moment, until I realized...

EEEWWWW!!!!
Michigan | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

(sic) weapon of mass seduction
wÒÓ† | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

Since O'Reilly's name doesn't appear in this excerpt, MAKE IT CLEAR WHO IS SPEAKING ATRIOS!

Otherwise it looks like you're just posting porn.
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

This is too good to be true.

Of course, this is so damn specific that it has GOT to be true.

It's a good day. The jackass bully has been exposed as a hypocrite (again).
Tony | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

Here'a PDF of the entire O'Reilly Lawsuit culled from The Smoking Gun.
Right click to download.

I almost feel sorry for the guy.... not.
Guy | 10.13.04 - 5:52 pm | #

Let me guess, he's talking to Ailes, right?

No. Ailes has bigger tits.
B.F. Diehl | 10.13.04 - 5:53 pm | #

He said boobs.

Where's WooT?
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 5:53 pm | #

I'm rubbing my pita right now
Onceler | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:53 pm | #

Scariest. Read. Ever.
antichimp | 10.13.04 - 5:54 pm | #

No. Ailes has bigger tits.

Did somebody say tits?
wÒÓ† | 10.13.04 - 5:54 pm | #

Can't.....stop...vomiting.....blarghghghgh...
Microangelo | 10.13.04 - 5:54 pm | #

seems a bit like an inside joke that I don't get. What's falafel got to do with the posting? Is it a blog? Middle eastern snack food? Where does this quote come from? Everyone is referring to O'Reilly. Why?
lhawes | 10.13.04 - 5:55 pm | #

That's amazingly stupid. And the idea of O'reilly talking dirty is.... well....

shit. Words fail me. It's gross though.
four legs good | 10.13.04 - 5:55 pm | #

OT: LaRosa's pulled their ads from the Sinclair station in Cincinnati (WSTR)
The Bear | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:55 pm | #

Bill is a foodie.
spacezebra | 10.13.04 - 5:55 pm | #

'cuz I like that and you have really spectacular boobs....

haha ha ha ha ha ha!

Is this before or after he broke out the COCK SHAPED VIBRATOR?

ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
Marcus Wellby | 10.13.04 - 5:55 pm | #

Don't even ask about the tzatiki sauce.
Dave J. | 10.13.04 - 5:55 pm | #

Errr, anybody checked the kerning on text yet? Hate for this to be Killian Memos II.
bo | 10.13.04 - 5:56 pm | #

Worst. Porn. Ever.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 5:56 pm | #

Check this out!
Konner | 10.13.04 - 5:56 pm | #

Bill was just loofing his virginity.

SpongeBill Wet Hands?
trifecta | 10.13.04 - 5:57 pm | #

Hey guy,

Much thanks for the pdf.
bebe rebozo | 10.13.04 - 5:57 pm | #

Did somebody say "cock?"
wÒÓ† | 10.13.04 - 5:57 pm | #

WTF????

Where did this come from?

It's "literature" like this that gives book burning a good name.
bdub | 10.13.04 - 5:57 pm | #

I feel really bad for this lady, but this is the best story in MONTHS. "Is this before or after he broke out the COCK SHAPED VIBRATOR?" - Marcus Welby, omg stop, you're killing me! I can't stop laughing at, at, ewwwwwwwwww ha ha ha
Onceler | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:57 pm | #

Gahhhhh! My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!
Ranier Wolfcastle | 10.13.04 - 5:58 pm | #

Does a grown man actually use the word "boobs" in an attempt at sexual seduction? What happened to "bazookas," "hooters," and "sweater kittens"?
Dude Abides | 10.13.04 - 5:58 pm | #

Award winning broadcast journalist, number one cable news show anchor, best-selling author, husband, father of two and former teacher Bill O'Reilly talks candidly and firmly to teens about the challenges they are most likely to face in this exciting yet crazy time in their young lives. Some of the hot-button topics he addresses include bullying, cheating, sex, drugs, alcohol, advertising, smoking, music, money, relationships with parents, teachers and siblings, death, politics, God and more!
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 5:58 pm | #

I'll never eat falafel again. Especially with the white creamy sauce.
nb@nb.ody | 10.13.04 - 5:58 pm | #

lhawes: Bill O'Reilly is being sued for sexual harassment by one of his producers. It's pretty clear she taped some of his more egregious monologues and this is one of them. O'Reilly's talking on the phone to the producer. Disgusting, isn't he?
strawhat | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:58 pm | #

wÒÓ†, you crack me up.

I have to say, how stupid is it to pull this shit in the internet age?

Hey O'Reilly!, bend over- might as well get ready for it.
four legs good | 10.13.04 - 5:59 pm | #

What happened to "bazookas," "hooters," and "sweater kittens"?

Did somebody say hooters?
wÒÓ† | 10.13.04 - 5:59 pm | #

Paragraph 81 of the lawsuit is also particularly choice.

I have the text at my blog, I refuse to type it again.
attaturk | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 5:59 pm | #

music, money, relationships with parents, teachers and siblings, death, politics, God and....

...and COCK SHAPED VIBRATORS! BZZZZZ! BZZZZ!
Marcus Wellby | 10.13.04 - 6:00 pm | #

it's generaly the loudest ones who say don't so that are the most blatant in indulging their habits. Was it him and Rush? Hannity? Coulter would've bent him over the sink.
King Coody | 10.13.04 - 6:00 pm | #

The sad thing is, if being a stone-junkie doesnt bring down Rush, being a sexual deviant/harrasser will not bring down the perv O'Lielly
bdub | 10.13.04 - 6:00 pm | #

This is just like Atrios as a kid getting a brand new toy from his parents - the best one ever! - and he is going to be playing with it almost all the time for the next few days!

But we also get to play along, too!
smarty jones | 10.13.04 - 6:00 pm | #

Mmmmmm, falafel.

Anyone who's surprised by any of this hasn't ready O'Reilly's porn book -- the one Franken kept referencing in his own book:

"Ashley was now wearing only brief white panties. She had signaled her desire by removing her shirt and skirt, and by leaning back on the couch. She closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing but Shannon's tongue and lips. He gently teased her by licking the areas around her most sensitive erogenous zone. Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly."
phil | 10.13.04 - 6:01 pm | #

OT: A friend's kid did a Rock the Vote PSA. It is one of the finalists.
Check the finalists out and vote for your favorite: http://tinyurl.com/6ldo2
JASE | 10.13.04 - 6:01 pm | #

I'm really nasueous reading O'Reilly's fantasies. After I post this, I'm shutting down my computer because I'm worried about getting a virus from the transcript.
Bill 'Loofa on my Balls" O'Rei | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:01 pm | #

We will have dinner at a reasonably priced restaurant, then return home and have efficient German sex.
Not Homer | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:01 pm | #

Oh my lord - King Coody's comment just made me imagine how bizarre Coulter's sexual deviance must be.

Worst. Thought. Ever.
bdub | 10.13.04 - 6:02 pm | #

Holy shit. This lawsuit is an incredible read.

Maybe they'll include it as an extra in the paperback version of O'reilly Factor For Kids. It couldn't hurt the sales. Especially with the kids.

- tome
Tome | 10.13.04 - 6:02 pm | #

Loofahing's my religion.

Oh, I, am bigger
bigger than you
and you don't want me
The lengths that I have grown to
Oh No I've said too much
I've been set up

That's me in the trenchcoat,
that's me with the flashlight
Loofahing's my religion.
trifecta | 10.13.04 - 6:02 pm | #

The sad thing is, if being a stone-junkie doesnt bring down Rush, being a sexual deviant/harrasser will not bring down the perv O'Lielly

Thats why it is crucial that we keep mentioning the COCKED SHAPED VIBRATOR. I don't think many NASCAR dads are hip to that scene, baby.
Marcus Wellby | 10.13.04 - 6:03 pm | #

Man, porn and politics at one site, I'll never have to leave.
chris/tx | 10.13.04 - 6:03 pm | #

When he tries to pleasure her with a "falafel" was when I really lost it.
Logansquare | 10.13.04 - 6:03 pm | #

hey-what are you all wearing?
magnolia | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:05 pm | #

OT: Bush sez:

'I'M GOING TO BE REAL POSITIVE, WHILE I KEEP MY FOOT ON JOHN KERRY'S THROAT.'

At least he doesn't put the falafel on his throat.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:05 pm | #

Let's all thank god for Andrea Mackris's boobs they seem like true wmds.
ftm | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:05 pm | #

That O'Reilly is one Fool Madamas.

Maybe he uses hummus instead of KY.

Does he like tabouli on spectacluar boobies?

Tits on a Ritz.

Mmmm. Good cracker!
Ben Had | 10.13.04 - 6:05 pm | #

O'Reilly: butt-plugged falafel-wearing fascist.

Works for me.
Lupin | 10.13.04 - 6:05 pm | #

Bill likes to be spanked and called a pinhead.
Craig | 10.13.04 - 6:05 pm | #

Oh, lordhavemercyjesuschrist. I just put my fucking eyes out like Oedipus.
Jason | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:05 pm | #

re: coch shaped vibrator- was bill oPining' or Blowviating?
focus | 10.13.04 - 6:05 pm | #

Does anyone know where I can get a falafel shaped vibrator?
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:06 pm | #

Is O'Leilly going on the air tonight? If so his meltdown might be fun to watch.
trifecta | 10.13.04 - 6:06 pm | #

This will earn him that Peabody for sure. Take that, Stuart Smalley!
hueyplong | 10.13.04 - 6:06 pm | #

The person in the shower with Bill was Novack. No wonder he fell down and broke his hip.
bebe rebozo | 10.13.04 - 6:06 pm | #

hey-what are you all wearing?

My "Annoy Dick Cheney, Vote Pat Leahy 2004" Tshirt.
Nancy Richardson | 10.13.04 - 6:07 pm | #

This is almost to good to be true. I hope this asshole will go away now. I need to scrub the rethug porn off my puter now. eeewwww!
Dawna | 10.13.04 - 6:07 pm | #

O'Reilly: it wasn't a cock shaped vibrator, it was a conch shaped vibrator! Calm down, people!
Dave J. | 10.13.04 - 6:07 pm | #

falafel?

i always though you were supposed to use bologna.
bdub | 10.13.04 - 6:07 pm | #

that's a really nice cock woot!
magnolia | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:07 pm | #

I guess Mackris is going to get the last word.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:07 pm | #

If you ever see Bill O'Reilly working at a restaurant RUN LIKE HELL!
MisterX | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:08 pm | #

My only hope in life is that these audio tapes somehow make it onto the internet. That will be comedy gold the likes of which this world has not seen in many decades.
Dave J. | 10.13.04 - 6:08 pm | #

hey-what are you all wearing?
magnolia

After reading that, a noose.
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:09 pm | #

I wonder if Bill still has the stained dress he was wearing when he was on the phone.

Then Porter Goss can get involved.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:09 pm | #

"hey-what are you all wearing?
magnolia

After reading that, a noose."

I wouldn't rule out O'Reilly playing the autoerotica card.
hueyplong | 10.13.04 - 6:10 pm | #

..such as when he received a massage in a cabana in Bali and the "little short brown woman" asked to see his penis and was "amazed".

Is this for real? God, if there is a tape ..well then there must be a god.
Spinoza | 10.13.04 - 6:11 pm | #

Much worse than the picture of Pat Buchannan in his underpants a few elections back.
Augmented4th | 10.13.04 - 6:11 pm | #

Coming soon: "Bill O'Reilly's Career Advice for Young Women". Includes a coupon for hardware.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:11 pm | #

falafel = [unintelligible] loofah
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:11 pm | #

What's really the important thing here? That O'Reilly has some twisted sexual fantasies that he hoped would never go public (don't we all)? Or the fact that this guy abused his position of power to get his jollies off? The former shouldn't mean squat, but the latter should get him crucified.
Doogie | 10.13.04 - 6:12 pm | #

Earlier today someone suggested chocolate from the bakery Kerry started be sent to NYT's Murray.

Is It Falafel Time for Fox?
bo | 10.13.04 - 6:12 pm | #

I don't know why they wanted to sue. The whole planet now has confirmation that bill is a chester!
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:12 pm | #

Hummus a tune Bill, my pretty!
Miso Hawnee | 10.13.04 - 6:12 pm | #

O'Reilly IS Guilty! Look,

His countersuit (alleging extortion/blackmail, and perhaps rightly so considering the $60 million demand for silence) does NOT indicate that what Andrea Mackris said was false, only that the legal steps she took were tantamount to extortion. So the basis of O'Reilly's defense against this suit is not based of the veracity of the claim, but instead based on the motives of the plantiff in revealing all but agreed upon facts!

So, O'Reilly is almost assuredly guilty and his only defense is that he was blackmailed, which seems kind of a puny offense next to his apparent predatory nymphomania.
Parser | 10.13.04 - 6:12 pm | #

So the O'Reilly Factor for Kids...

is a must have, these days.
Nancy Richardson | 10.13.04 - 6:12 pm | #

..such as when he received a massage in a cabana in Bali and the "little short brown woman" asked to see his penis and was "amazed".

"It's so small!!!"
little brown woman | 10.13.04 - 6:13 pm | #

god- if the right wing nuts wouldn't be so repressive they would not need to be such hypocrites-and the thud made by the fall from their little excrement thrones won't be so loud...
Rush L. | 10.13.04 - 6:13 pm | #

The irony is that falafal is not such a bad idea, but it would never occur to him except in a misstatement...
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:13 pm | #

Is the shower scene going into the paperback version of the "O'reilly factor for kids?" The public demands extras you know.
trifecta | 10.13.04 - 6:14 pm | #

hmm, tahini sauce....
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:14 pm | #

I wonder if he was wearing an earpiece when hewas coming up with these fantasies...."Let me Finnish!"

BZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz....
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:15 pm | #

could this be a karl rove's attempt at distraction????????

remain dilligent on other things!
hornrimsylvia | 10.13.04 - 6:15 pm | #

dammit ... would someone please pour bleach in my ear so I can get rid of the mental image of O'liely seducing ANYONE ... much less trying to do it with a falafel

ew. ew. ew. ew. ew.

at least he didn't as for baba ganoush on the side.
mmmm ... sultry | 10.13.04 - 6:15 pm | #

could this be a karl rove's attempt at distraction????????

remain dilligent on other things!
hornrimsylvia | 10.13.04 - 6:15 pm | #

Any mention of Scalia orgies?
smarty jones | 10.13.04 - 6:16 pm | #

That poor, POOR woman.

I hope she takes that sick, liver-spotted perv for all he's got.

FOX NEWS?

more like

FUX NEWS
Anon E. Mouse | 10.13.04 - 6:16 pm | #

Or vigilent.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:16 pm | #

That poor, POOR woman.

I hope she takes that sick, liver-spotted perv for all he's got.

FOX NEWS?

more like

FUX NEWS
Anon E. Mouse | 10.13.04 - 6:16 pm | #

Or vigilent.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:16 pm | #

That poor, POOR woman.

I hope she takes that sick, liver-spotted perv for all he's got.

FOX NEWS?

more like

FUX NEWS
Anon E. Mouse | 10.13.04 - 6:16 pm | #

Or vigilent.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:16 pm | #

hey-what are you all wearing?

All I am weraring is a smile. Yes! There is a God.
UsMarine70 | 10.13.04 - 6:16 pm | #

BUSH DEBATE TACTIC ALERT
BUSH DEBATE TACTIC ALERT

Sorry to ruin the festivities but Bush will drop a URL, namely the recently registered and redirected "kerrysliberalrecord.com>/a>" tonight at the debate. Kerry needs to be prepared for this, or we need to be ready for him. Atriotic factcheckers start your engines!

/BUSH DEBATE TACTIC ALERT
/BUSH DEBATE TACTIC ALERT
DEBATE ALERT! | 10.13.04 - 6:17 pm | #

EEEEEEYYYYAAAAAAAAAA!

Jeepers H. Christmas, how many showers (vry bad choice of words) do I need tonite just to get through these threads? OY Vey!
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:17 pm | #

olbermann has picked up the vote trashing story. (he's early tonite because of the debate)
bkny | 10.13.04 - 6:17 pm | #

Once again, American tax dollars are being used to publish pornography! It is no longer safe for our children to read government documents. Take the Starr Report, for example. That was so shockingly filthy that I had to wind it in a slippery silk scarf, thrust it deep into a stiff brown paper bag, and hide it under my thick, firm mattress to keep its disgusting contents away from innocent eyes.
nitwit | 10.13.04 - 6:17 pm | #

remain dilligent on other things!
hornrimsylvia

you mean for example how Kerry is going to bitch-slap W tonight? No worries here!

(although I think only 2 percent of St. Louis will be watching tonite!)
smarty jones | 10.13.04 - 6:17 pm | #

I appreciate the fun comments. You have fun tonight. I'll appreciate it. I mean it.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:17 pm | #

Good god, man, what the hell?
Eric | 10.13.04 - 6:17 pm | #

You know, what is funny about this is his posing as someone who has sexual advice to impart to a "young woman."
Nancy Richardson | 10.13.04 - 6:18 pm | #

The guy's a regular freaking spellbinder, I declare...
Konopelli | 10.13.04 - 6:18 pm | #

hey-what are you all wearing?

All I am weraring is a smile. Yes! There is a God.
UsMarine70 | 10.13.04 - 6:19 pm | #

You haven't lived until you've heard him read this line on the audio book. I've never wanted to ram a sharp object into my eardrum so badly before in my life.
Monica A | 10.13.04 - 6:19 pm | #

He's like a spin-jolly.
Jenna | 10.13.04 - 6:19 pm | #

Debate Alert -
You got me all excited, but your url goes nowhere.
Sue | 10.13.04 - 6:20 pm | #

hey-what are you all wearing?

All I am weraring is a smile. Yes! There is a God.
UsMarine70 | 10.13.04 - 6:20 pm | #

damn, i'm never going to be able to eat another falafel. and i live near a restaurant that has THE BEST middle-eastern food in brooklyn...
bkny | 10.13.04 - 6:20 pm | #

Drudge has it up now.

What will we tell the children?
Central Scrutinizer | 10.13.04 - 6:21 pm | #

oh how the mighty have fallen...
and risen... and fallen again
falafel | 10.13.04 - 6:21 pm | #

Al Franken broadcast clips of the audio version of Bill reading his own softcore porn book [some kind of thriller I think].

Sounded a lot like this stuff.

NOT enhanced by Bill's own really really bad/flat [so to speak] performance
pitbullEmily | 10.13.04 - 6:21 pm | #

Sue,
Sure you're excited, a young woman who hasn't found the right man. Let me give you some advice....
Bill O'reilly | 10.13.04 - 6:21 pm | #

Ya gotta admire Bill's loyalty..for Cheneying himself.
Lee | 10.13.04 - 6:21 pm | #

hey-what are you all wearing?
magnolia

Four ductile-steel blindfolds, welding goggles, and a backwards motorcycle helmet.

And my eyes still hurt. Damn you, Atrios, Damn You to Hell!
jac | 10.13.04 - 6:21 pm | #

At my age, you get excited about url's, not loofas and fat guys with fafafels - well, maybe intraveous wine..
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:21 pm | #

Man, I just ate dinner. God, you could warn a person you know.

Something like, don't read contents on a full stomach.
genoasail | 10.13.04 - 6:22 pm | #

&%$** great now whose looking out for me?
dumbrepub | 10.13.04 - 6:22 pm | #

WTF kind of man thinks this is sexy or attractive?! This almost made me retch. Oh, right - it's Bill O'Reilly. Excuse me while I search for the special kind of soap to wash my brain clean of that horrible, horrible image.
spyral | 10.13.04 - 6:22 pm | #

OT,

The Keith is doing a peice about voter registrations shredded, paid for by the RNC!
Central Scrutinizer | 10.13.04 - 6:22 pm | #

Woot, you're great, but barn owls don't hoot, they sort of scream.
bird watcher | 10.13.04 - 6:23 pm | #

The spin begins in the no-spin zone

"As a public figure, I have received many threats. But enough is enough... the threats stop now. I will not give in to extortion," O'Reilly said in a statement, adding that he would donate any damages awarded to charity.

Copyright © 2004, Newsday, Inc.
Spinoza | 10.13.04 - 6:23 pm | #

The only thing that would make this worse if he was doing phone sex with Katherine Harris.

Had nightmares about Atrios posting that pic yesterday.
cheney_usa | 10.13.04 - 6:23 pm | #

Sue, yeah I fucked that up good, didn't I? I will try again. If I fail, you're just gonna have to wait to find out what it is, because even anonymous posters feel shame at unclosed tags...

BUSH DEBATE TACTIC ALERT (TAKE 2!)

HERE'S THE WEB SITE BUSH WILL REFERENCE IN TONIGHT's DEBATE. For real though!!!

/BUSH DEBATE TACTIC ALERT (TAKE 2!)
DEBATE ALERT | 10.13.04 - 6:23 pm | #

they couldn't call kerry a liberal on the economy?!?!?! on spending?!?!

http://www.georgewbush.com/Kerry...sLiberalRecord/
hornrimsylvia | 10.13.04 - 6:24 pm | #

>Sounded a lot like this stuff.

which is why I tend believe it is all true. No one can write Bill O'Reilly sex dialogue but Bill O'Reilly.

It is just beyond parody.
Nancy Richardson | 10.13.04 - 6:24 pm | #

Well, he never called it the "no sin-zone." Now we know why. Dirty old man.
Anon E. Mouse | 10.13.04 - 6:24 pm | #

Drudge has it up now. - Him, too? On TV?
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:25 pm | #

I had no idea that Bill was such a romantic.

Could that be timber I am hearing falling in the forest?

One helluva big tree being feld there.

Perhaps President Bush's lumber company will buy up O'Reilley's remains and us it to generate saw dust.
Tim Kane | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:25 pm | #

Hummus a tune Bill, my pretty!

Ewe shawerma best piece yet...
Konopelli | 10.13.04 - 6:26 pm | #

adding that he would donate any damages awarded to charity.

The little brown woman school of mediteranian culinary/bathing arts
focus | 10.13.04 - 6:26 pm | #

Sometimes I wonder if there isn't something fundamentally wrong with heterosexuality.
Johnny | 10.13.04 - 6:27 pm | #

O'Reilly: "So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard..."

Mackris: "Oh, Mr. Reilly, shut up! SHUT UP!!"
nitwit | 10.13.04 - 6:27 pm | #

Is this the ultimate October Surprise?

We are so grossed out that we forget to vote?

Rove is not a genius?
smarty jones | 10.13.04 - 6:27 pm | #

damn, i'm never going to be able to eat another falafel. and i live near a restaurant that has THE BEST middle-eastern food in brooklyn...
bkny

It's not Waterfalls Cafe, is it?

God, I miss that place.
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:27 pm | #

I had been wondering why O'Reiley's been so "on the fence" about Kerry lately, i.e. The Daily Show and his own. OMG! tomorrow Regis!
gokerry | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:27 pm | #

>"As a public figure, I have received many threats. But enough is enough... the threats stop now. I will not give in to extortion," O'Reilly said in a statement, adding that he would donate any damages awarded to charity.

In this case, I would charity begins at home, Bill.

She had you on tape. You are so overrrr.
Nancy Richardson | 10.13.04 - 6:27 pm | #

Oh, man, trifecta, that's CRUEL funny.

My sides hurt. I have to go out and hang my I BLAME BUSH banner over the 405 for awhile.

Thanks for all the fish.

--
Paul | 10.13.04 - 6:28 pm | #

Ahem, "Mr. O'Reilly." Sorry.
nitwit | 10.13.04 - 6:28 pm | #

OT (from Israel, but regarding our FRIEND and ALLY who would NEVER HURT US, SYRIA, where appearantly we keep secret torture chambers even Bush doesn't want to know about)

holy shit. Granted, we knew there was out-contracting for torture a year ago because of the Canadian guy, but it just keeps getting worse and worse. And of course it should give every Jew who knows what a falafal is warm cockles to know we're such good friends with Syria that they let us use their torture chambers. And the Arab Street will be happy too. Win-win for all!
kei & yuri | 10.13.04 - 6:28 pm | #

2 1/2 hours till chimpy gets his ass kicked again......
Central Scrutinizer | 10.13.04 - 6:29 pm | #

Oh, and maybe it was a cock-ROACH shaped vibrator, you ever think of that?

'When I move my insect feelers over your extended proboscis, I feel your secondary wings flutter. Someone wants to be transformed. Our Billy wants to change.

It begins with coveting...'

--
Paul | 10.13.04 - 6:30 pm | #

Uuuugggghhhh...I was thinking about falafel for dinner, but now I just have to go throw up.
kel. | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:31 pm | #

No OT remarks allowed! This thread is for shallow, crude mockery of Bill O'Reilly ONLY!
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:32 pm | #

Damn, the guy makes a lot of money. Why can't he get a call girl to do that stuff for him?

Maybe cuz he's cheap and stupid?
John | 10.13.04 - 6:32 pm | #

and a little brown woman came into the room and said...

"Look, two Peabodys..."
Scaramouche | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:32 pm | #

this is great! 2 of my o'rightly is an independant friends are incommunicado. Priceless
freethinker | 10.13.04 - 6:32 pm | #

I wonder what Bill's next book'll be called?

"Looking Out For...Your Big Boobs"?
Anon E. Mouse | 10.13.04 - 6:32 pm | #

Geez after reading that, excuse me while I go rip my own head off.
Another Bruce | 10.13.04 - 6:33 pm | #

FREEPERS REACT TO O'REILLY SCANDAL!

"Fox News had the brass ring of leadership and dropped it cold, to support the vermin that calls themselves the Democrat Party. That low life Bill O'Reilly is a closet supporter of John 'the traitor' Kerry."

"I deem sexual harassment only when there is threat to employment. Otherwise it is very dangerous allowing liberal woman in the work place to throw about accusations whenever it suits their interests or political agendaa."

"I stopped watching O'Reilly about 18 months ago when he revealed his rather peculiar thoughts regarding homosexuality and religion. Basically he just said that he's all for homoesexuals and doesn't care what they do in their bedroom, and he thought that atheism was just fine. I forget his actual words, but they were such a turnoff I turned O'Reilly off for good."

"Hope they cancel his show. Then, Brit & Co. could take over the time slot."

"I hope it's not true. But if it is, I've got a solution to Fox's problem -- Ann Coulter."

Wowsers!, The Freepers and we are happy about the same event! WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE!
FreeperReport | 10.13.04 - 6:34 pm | #

This entire narrative makes me want to scrub my brain pan with a barbecue brush.

In the meantime, to quote my DH: "This is wrong on so many levels."

-S
Strategerie | 10.13.04 - 6:35 pm | #

I think Nightline should do a one hour special where they read out the names of family values Republicans who had sex scandals. Sinclair would refuse to air it.

David Smith, Henry Hyde, Newt Gingrich, Bob Barr, Rush Limbaugh, J. C. Watts, Dan Burton, Dan Dreier, Ed Shrock, Bob Dole, George Will, Randy Kuhl, Deal Hudson, Jack Ryan, Strom Thurmond, Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Joe Scarborough, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George HW Bush, Neil Bush, John Ellis Bush, George W. Bush.
Count Asterisk | 10.13.04 - 6:35 pm | #

The guy is so finished!!!

If only BushO was so lucky!!!
John | 10.13.04 - 6:36 pm | #

I guess this does it for his fledgling political career.

There is a god after all.

This will have legs cause it's about sex. That's how these fundies get their jollies, dontchaknow.
QuiltLady in NY | 10.13.04 - 6:36 pm | #

It's become clear that the Heterosexual Agenda poses an imminent threat to young American women.
nitwit | 10.13.04 - 6:36 pm | #

"Yeah, she ghameh this vibrator, 'cause my dick's so tahini."
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:38 pm | #

Don't forget to watch LAST EVER O'Reilly Factor tonight at 8pm. Bill Richardson is on!
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:38 pm | #

I'm rubbing my pita right now

Undoubtedly one of the funniest lines I've ever read on a politcal forum, ever.
John Mulhausen | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:39 pm | #

Must... leave... computer... and... fix... dinner... aarrrghhh!! Must save my strength for watching the debate later...
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 6:39 pm | #

Oh, to be a fly on the wall at the Fox News studio right now.

Or, better yet, to be one of the maggots behind the desks.
SPIN BUSTER | 10.13.04 - 6:40 pm | #

Now we know that O'Reilly too, is a master debater.
Central Scrutinizer | 10.13.04 - 6:41 pm | #

Bill O'Reilly: One pitaful bastard.
bo | 10.13.04 - 6:41 pm | #

I'm in NYC and was wondering whether any fellow Kerry supporters are planning to gather at a particular bar to watch the debate tonight. I just want to be in good company while I watch another decisive victory.
SKILLS | 10.13.04 - 6:42 pm | #

Bill O'Reilly: One pitaful bastard.
bo

Hoist by his own pita!
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:43 pm | #

I wonder if Bill ever got any milage out of this. I mean did he ever tell a girl he would use a falalel and then her turn around and say, okay Mr O'reilly, that sounds great, lets go camping or whatever.

My guess, probably not. Maybe all of this will lend him up in a jail cell he can share with Rush Limbaugh. But then that would be more than one could expect out of this life.

Now if they could just dig up something on Hannity, Coulter, Murdock and jeeze there's a lot of these wiseacre's out there.
Tim Kane | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:43 pm | #

Spiral, I'm with you. Somebody hand me the #32 drill bit and DRILL that nastiness out of my brain. I don't care what you have to take with it, just get it out.
Gidget Commando | 10.13.04 - 6:44 pm | #

Now we know that O'Reilly too, is a master debater.
Central Scrutinizer

Surely the Second Coming is at hand...eh Bill?
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:44 pm | #

I am the man for you, and I will make you want to get down and get funk-ass nasty with me. I will make you scream and shout all hours of the night. I will make sweet love to you like no man has ever before. In addition to all of that, I will wash you.
SmooveB | 10.13.04 - 6:45 pm | #

So, O'Reilly is almost assuredly guilty and his only defense is that he was blackmailed, which seems kind of a puny offense next to his apparent predatory nymphomania.

It's known as satyriasis in men.
RCSanders | 10.13.04 - 6:45 pm | #

Santa came a little early this year for us Fox-bashers.
Andrew | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:46 pm | #

Turning and turning in the widening gyros...
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:46 pm | #

[ed. I have discovered hidden amongst the volumes of arcana in an archive known to very few some old decaying copies of an old English journal of science. The Proceedings of the Royal Society of His Majesty's Most Learned Englishmen of Science Arithematics, and other Bookish Sorts of Knowledge March 1829. The following text is my transcription, the speakers name is, unfortunately lost to history]

I have through the strict adherence and applications of the principles of Science, Calculus and other Higher Mathematics determined through careful empirical observation and the Careful and Cautious Application of Relevant Mathematical Formulae as befits all Men of Learned Science the Exact Ennumartive Quantification of the Hitherto Occult and Elusive O'Reilly Factor.

Gentlemen, (Ladies, may it please you to excuse yourselves I have no wish to cause any stress or strain to the delicate mental faculties of the weaker sex, you'll find refreshments and finger sandwiches in the Salon.)

Gentlemen, Scholars, Great Men of Learning and Science, I have rounded up the Discovered Quantity because I found that indeed as I have long suspected the O'Reilly Factor is an irrational number.

Nevertheless, I shall Reveal to you the Approximate Quantity that you Might make Goodly Use of Such Discoverie that Advances the Cause of Science in Service to our Noble Race and Favored Gender and that it Might be found Pleasing to Our Lord Who has made this World a Place Fitting for Our Needs and Contentment.

Very well.

The Approximate Quantity of the O'Reilly Factor is Nearest that of Decimal Point Four Three. I shall Scribe the Quantity upon this Board for your Perusal and Edification:

.43

*murmuring among the gallery*

Gentlemen, gentlemen please, all shall be made Clear to you in the Following Demonstation:

To what shall said Factor be Applied? I haveterminde that the O'Reilly Factor is best to be Comprehended as a Phenomenon Affecting the Dimension of Length. See here:

I Shall take an Average Length, and Scribe it thusly on the Board:

6

I think we can agree that that Best Approximates an Average Length, yes of course in Imperial Units, English Imperial Units.

What's that? Generous you say? As you may have taken Notice, Alll Numerations and Quantifications have been Rounded Up. I am, even at my age, an optimist.

Very well I shall Proceed:

Now we carefully apply the Newly Discovered O'Reilly Factor to our Chosen Quantityi of Average Length. Scribed thusly:

.43 X 6 = 2.58

Thus I have through Careful and Considered Applications of the Highest Mathematics of Science Determined that 2.58 inches is for the species of homo nonsapiens fascisticus var. N. Americanus subspecie Vulpes ranticus absolute maximum length of his male member.

Yes, I mean his penis. He's got a very small penis. It's barely three inches long! I said his penis old man, are you deaf? His willy, his pecker, his co
Barry Freed | 10.13.04 - 6:47 pm | #

.43 X 6 = 2.58

Thus I have through Careful and Considered Applications of the Highest Mathematics of Science Determined that 2.58 inches is for the species of homo nonsapiens fascisticus var. N. Americanus subspecie Vulpes ranticus absolute maximum length of his male member.

Yes, I mean his penis. He's got a very small penis. It's barely three inches long! I said his penis old man, are you deaf? His willy, his pecker, his cock you doddering old fool......

[ed. the page here is far too badly broken and fragmented to read]
Barry Freed | 10.13.04 - 6:47 pm | #

As luck would have it, I saw the original (gone now) screaming banner headline on Drudge, about this delighfulness, before I visited Eschaton. I honestly thought the SUBJECT, here, was a laswsuit FILED BY O'REILLY. All the story focused on was how O had filed one because he was being blackmailed for millions by an attorney.

Well. Turns out there was a little more to the whole mess, wasn't there? Silly me. Who knew?

Epilogue: at this hour, Drudge is also re-headlining the hysterical "Bubbie" Flash movie. Wanna see the headline? Sit down, kids:

'JEWISH DEMOCRATS' RUN CARTOON AD DEPICTING CHENEY BEHEADING...
Barry Champlain | 10.13.04 - 6:48 pm | #

RC Sanders, oh yeah, you're right! Thanks! Here's some more information on O'Reilly's dreadful affliction:

WHAT IS IT?
Satyriasis is excessive, abnormal, or uncontrollable sexual/romantic behavior, desire, and excitement in the male.

WHAT CAUSES SATYRIASIS?
Satyriasis is believed to be caused by extreme narcissism, which is a state in which one interprets and relates everything to oneself and not to other people or things. Any feelings of inferiority (feeling one is not as good as someone else in something) is controlled by conquering females in a sexual way. Some believe that the cause of satyriasis is biological as opposed to psychological, or even a combination of the two.

(MUCH MORE, including the CASTRATION TREATMENT!)
Looking Out For O'Reilly | 10.13.04 - 6:49 pm | #

don't forget to review "The O'Reilly factor for Kids" at amazon.com

now excuse me while i pour bleach in my eyes.
thirdparty | 10.13.04 - 6:51 pm | #

I don't know why O'Reilly's retaining a lawyer in this case...it's obvious he can get himself off!

What can I say? I love the classics!
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:51 pm | #

Oopha loopha doophitty doo, I have another riddle for you:

How many cock-shaped vibrators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ruprecht | 10.13.04 - 6:52 pm | #

The Keith is reporting it now.....
Central Scrutinizer | 10.13.04 - 6:56 pm | #

You know, it just occurred to me...

There must be fifty ways to love your loofah!
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 6:57 pm | #

Satyriasis: I think I have a very rare non-narcissistic variety of this affliction. This one is caused by not having been laid in a year due to spousal abandonment while no contract of separation has been agreed upon.

The worst symptom is excessive blog comment posting of excessively long comments.

Help me!
Barry Freed | 10.13.04 - 6:57 pm | #

It might be the weed, but this thread has been a refreshingly hilarious roller-coaster of Good Unclean Fun. A real Comfort Food stew, from the inspired leitmotif of boiled and gouged eyeballs to Jenna's lapidary observation, "He's like a spin-jolly." (Don't you mean "spin-golly"?)

Gotta have fun with this one.
Little Brøther | 10.13.04 - 6:57 pm | #

Bill signaled his desire by taking off his Peabody Award Tiara, closing his eyes and lying back...
kei & yuri | 10.13.04 - 6:57 pm | #

Item 35, page 7

"O'Rielly's eyes became glazed and bizzarely strayed in opposite directions. Suddenly, without provocation or warning, Defendant (o'reilly) said to Plaintiff "And just use your vibrator to blow off steam."

Bill must have been thinking about touching W's penis again!
Eric W | 10.13.04 - 6:58 pm | #

I just finished reading O'Reilly's sex fantasies, and boy, do I falafel!
The Kenosha Kid | 10.13.04 - 6:59 pm | #

Poor baby...

Hi, I'm Bill O'Reilly... thanks for watching us tonight... we are living in treacherous times. That's the subject of this evening's Talking Points Memo.

Just about every famous person I know has been threatened and worked over by somebody. Fame makes you a target... it is something that has to be taken seriously. As I've mentioned before, I have received many threats over the years... everything from death letters to some guy running around the country offering people $25 thousand to sign affidavits accusing me of whatever.

The lawyers here at Fox News have been great in dealing with these situations... although the stuff printed on websites remain almost impossible do deal with. But there comes a time when enough's enough.... and so this morning I had to file a lawsuit against some people who are demanding $60 million, or they will "punish me and Fox News."

$60 million.

In a case like this, you have to fight, even at some risk. These people trying to extort this money from us will lob all kinds of charges, knowing that some in the press who don't like me or Fox News will gleefully pick the stuff up. But in the end the justice system will take care of this situation... I have to believe that, because I am simply not going to allow these people to extort me, or anyone else.

Obviously, I can't get into specifics as the litigation is in motion, but I do respect my audience and feel you should know exactly what's going on. This is the single most evil thing I have ever experienced... and I've seen a lot. But these people picked the wrong guy. They can throw anything they want at me, I'll take it. And in the end... we'll see who's left standing. And that's the memo.
http://tinyurl.com/4gud3
Tangerine | 10.13.04 - 6:59 pm | #

I'm rubbing my pita right now

Freakin' hilarious. Wonder if old Bill is hoping for a hummus (nothing like it!) later??

I was kind of hoping he had a kabob-shaped vibrator...
hopeless spinster | 10.13.04 - 7:00 pm | #

mmmm.... falafel...
Jefe | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 7:01 pm | #

Wait, aren't we better than Republican smear artists? What about innocent until proven...ah, fuck O'Reilly, this is to funny.
JayinABQ | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 7:01 pm | #

sweater kittens?!

Straight guys are so weird.
cerebrocrat | 10.13.04 - 7:02 pm | #

too, that should be, gotta stop chuckling...
JayinABQ | 10.13.04 - 7:03 pm | #

There must be fifty ways to love your loofah!

When I hear the word loofah.

I think back many years ago.

And a house I shared with a mad crew.

Of crazed and drug-addled grad philosophy students.

One in particular whose habits, were,

well, she was English is all I'll say.

[I jest, that had nothing to do with it, no offense intended to any lurking Englishpersons.]

She kept a loofah in the commuanl bathroom hanging from the showe head.

Many months passed.

Anyone here watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF) on the Cartoon Network?

Did you catch the episode with Ol' Drippy?

Well, this loofah was far more articulate.

We made a song up about it entitled "Loofah Pot Pie"

I'm gonna stop now because I'm becoming a bit too nauseated for my liking.
Barry Freed | 10.13.04 - 7:04 pm | #

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I SAID "WAFFLE" NOT "FALAFEL." NOW SHUT UP AND PASS THE SYRUP."
Bill Falafel O'Reilly | 10.13.04 - 7:04 pm | #

Extra: "Next, Bill O'Reilly and the alleged 60 million dollar extortion plot!"

O'Reilly has some good attorney.
The Kenosha Kid | 10.13.04 - 7:04 pm | #

Don't forget about FOX's indecency charge!

From Salon:

Move over, Janet: CBS -- home of Janet Jackson's Super Bowl boob flash -- no longer holds the record for having the largest indecency fine proposed against it by the Federal Communications Commission. Nope. That record is now held by Fox TV, against whom yesterday the FCC proposed a $1.2 million fine. The offending broadcast? A segment of "Married by America" depicting a group of topless, whipped-cream-smeared strippers plying their trade. True, the nudity was "pixelated," but the FCC said that "does little to obscure the overtly sexual and gratuitous nature of the bachelor/bachelorette party scenes ... even a child would have known that the strippers were topless and that sexual activity was being shown." Sexual activity that included, for instance, a guy in his skivvies down on all fours getting his booty whupped by two topless women. But one unnamed Hollywood executive has stepped up to defend Fox, saying, "It's a Fox show, and people should know what they're getting themselves into." (Washington Post)
smarty jones | 10.13.04 - 7:06 pm | #

Lemme just say that I had a boss who pulled this kind of shit on me, also in the journalism business... It all sounds way too fucking familiar.

I'm sure lots of people will say "she should have just quit" blah blah blah, but you know, it isn't that easy to just quit a job, especially one in your chosen profession where you are doing well and trying to build a career. It isn't that easy. You will put up with a lot of crap for a long time, hoping it gets better or your boss dies or something...

And you know, when you finally do quit, which you eventually will if only for your health, that boss will blackball you wherever you go. He will win. You will lose.

It isn't just right-wingnuts, either. The rumors about Bill Maher's treatment of female staffers have been flying around for years...
lisa | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 7:07 pm | #

Anyone ever seen this one, it's hilarious, bad cybersex:

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
**pause**
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
**pause**
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of
carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.
Barry Freed | 10.13.04 - 7:07 pm | #

"O'Reilly's lawyer, Ronald Green, said he believes there are tapes of conversations between the two and asked a court to compel Mackris to produce them so they could be played publicly.

"I know that he does not fear what is on the tapes," Green said.

Morelli would not comment on whether any taped phone conversations exist. "

http://tinyurl.com/6yhcu
Johnny Vagabond | 10.13.04 - 7:09 pm | #

I have the COCK SHAPED VIBRATOR in my cheetos shaped fingers right now!
Bill OhOhOhhh'Reilly | 10.13.04 - 7:10 pm | #

Since Lime Rickey's otherwise engaged:

Bill O'Reilly, while stroking his pud
Said "Don't tell, or my name will be mud!
I've got plenty of wood
And my buttplug feels good.
Sure I'm blotchy, but ain't I a stud?
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 7:11 pm | #

I have the COCK SHAPED VIBRATOR in my oreo shaped butt now.
Bill OhOhOhhh'Reilly | 10.13.04 - 7:12 pm | #

That was from Harper's Readings, and there were like two other variations. Harper's is America's finest magazine.
kei & yuri | 10.13.04 - 7:12 pm | #

Oh pardon me, my mouth err mind was elsewhere.

Actually, I have the COCK SHAPED VIBRATOR in my cheerio shaped butt now.
Bill OhOhOhhh'Reilly | 10.13.04 - 7:13 pm | #

O'Reilly naked wearing a loofah mitt is the most un-sexy image ever.
PapaJijo | 10.13.04 - 7:16 pm | #

O'Reilly is supposed to be on Regis and Kelly Lee tomorrow. What are the odds he's a no-show.
Count Asterisk | 10.13.04 - 7:16 pm | #

What a nasty, sick son of a gun. Unsurprising, though; despite his claims of media stardom, O'Reilly probably can't buy a good screw. Kind of confirms my suspicion that the most venomous GOP's are extremely sexually repressed.
GN | 10.13.04 - 7:16 pm | #

Ummmmm, falafel, it's what's for dinner.

http://tinyurl.com/728nq
sekmet | 10.13.04 - 7:17 pm | #

lisa: There should be zero tolerance for that kind of shit.

It is important that such things be taken very seriously, and dealt with fairly.

But sometimes there might be doubts about an isolated case.

But when there's a patten, how can anyone doubt that?

And you're correct. You need recommendations unless you decide to go work at wallmart or whatever.

Somehow Bill Maher doesn't surprise me at all.

I think he's far more of a libertarian than a liberal though. Just another "free market" for him to exploit.

Many years ago I worked in various construction and building trades.

It's very weird. Very homoerotic. Basically, a very large portion of banter with co-workers will be explicitly homoerotic. I didn't care about that. It was kind of funny in an odd way.

WHat I despised though was the racism.

Very ugly.

AFter awhile though co-workers and management stopped saying that shit around me, (I'm not black) they knew what I thought of it, sometimes through outright verbal opposition but after that a look would do. They'd look down , even the bosses sons who were the managers, they'd look down at their feet in shame. It petered out and stopped after awhile. BUt I'll never forget one story that'll curdle your ears (do ears curdle? maybe blood then? or, ears too-it wasthat bad]

I was glad they felt shame. It showed they knew it was wrong and indefensible.
Barry Freed | 10.13.04 - 7:17 pm | #

Am I mistaken or does it seem like everyone on the extreme Right is in the middleof some sort of personal meltdown? How many of you have read this lawsuit? It's freekin' AMAZING (and way disgusting....be prepared). If this keeps up, the GOP will be nothing more than an oily stain in two years time.
Thurber Hamm | 10.13.04 - 7:18 pm | #

"Now if they could just dig up something on Hannity".....

Hannity likes getting Bukkakeed.

Call him Sean Hannikkake.

.
sid | 10.13.04 - 7:19 pm | #

Why is it, when I picture O'Reilly in such situations (which I assure you I'm trying very very hard not to do-quick-don't think of a pink elephant!] I see him wearing a tightly bound, custom-made whalebone corset?

It suits him don't you think?

Calling John Waters.
Barry Freed | 10.13.04 - 7:20 pm | #

Thurber Hamm: Ever read Dr. Faustus or Faust?

I think that's kind of like what's going on here.
Barry Freed | 10.13.04 - 7:21 pm | #

OT (from Israel, but regarding our FRIEND and ALLY who would NEVER HURT US, SYRIA, where appearantly we keep secret torture chambers even Bush doesn't want to know about)

ummm k & y?

that story you linked to mentioned Jordan a lot, but I never saw Syria in there.

Are you sure you have the right country?
thought | 10.13.04 - 7:25 pm | #

Am I mistaken or does it seem like everyone on the extreme Right is in the middleof some sort of personal meltdown?

Who else could actually support people like Bush & posse and Alan Keyes but the mildly (to severely) pyschotic? I know of exactly one person who is adamantly voting for Bush, and she certainly fits this criteria...
GN | 10.13.04 - 7:26 pm | #

Since this is a "fowl" thread -- don't forget Poland!

http://groups.msn.com/PolishChickens
sister of ye | 10.13.04 - 7:27 pm | #

Republican smear artist - Thank you for a whole new connotation, Mr. O'Reilly
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 7:27 pm | #

" Ever read Dr. Faustus or Faust?"

So you think they've sold their souls? Dude, these clowns would double-cross Satan... They haven't got any souls!
Thurber Hamm | 10.13.04 - 7:28 pm | #

After reading this thread and comments, I need a cigarette.
Larry Flynt | 10.13.04 - 7:28 pm | #

You're cracking me up Barry Freed. The vegetable sex post is hilarious.
Got Wood? | 10.13.04 - 7:29 pm | #

I am not worried about the website. Bush will screw it up like Chainy did the other night.
Dave | 10.13.04 - 7:30 pm | #

just in:

Enough is enough

Hi, I'm Bill O'Reilly... thanks for watching us tonight... we are living in treacherous times. That's the subject of this evening's Talking Points Memo.

Just about every famous person I know has been threatened and worked over by somebody. Fame makes you a target... it is something that has to be taken seriously. As I've mentioned before, I have received many threats over the years... everything from death letters to some guy running around the country offering people $25 thousand to sign affidavits accusing me of whatever.

The lawyers here at Fox News have been great in dealing with these situations... although the stuff printed on websites remain almost impossible do deal with. But there comes a time when enough's enough.... and so this morning I had to file a lawsuit against some people who are demanding $60 million, or they will "punish me and Fox News."

$60 million.

In a case like this, you have to fight, even at some risk. These people trying to extort this money from us will lob all kinds of charges, knowing that some in the press who don't like me or Fox News will gleefully pick the stuff up. But in the end the justice system will take care of this situation... I have to believe that, because I am simply not going to allow these people to extort me, or anyone else.

Obviously, I can't get into specifics as the litigation is in motion, but I do respect my audience and feel you should know exactly what's going on. This is the single most evil thing I have ever experienced... and I've seen a lot. But these people picked the wrong guy. They can throw anything they want at me, I'll take it. And in the end... we'll see who's left standing. And that's the memo.
vs | 10.13.04 - 7:30 pm | #

wasn't o'reilly fired before from a another job over charges of harassment?

be nice if we could see an account of past history in order to establish pattern.
y | 10.13.04 - 7:32 pm | #

Thought: yes, you are correct. SYRIA is the friendly country that would never hurt us that we were already exporting torture victims to, as in that Canadian guy a year ago, JORDAN is the country that has apparently joined them, and SAUDI ARABIA is the friendly country that would never hurt us that kidnaps and tortures expats as scapegoats without any US request needed.
kei & yuri | 10.13.04 - 7:34 pm | #

Talk birds to me, wÒÓ†. Talk birds to me now.
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 7:35 pm | #

Bill won't duck out of any media appearances. He is counter-attacking, claiming that the story is about an extortion plot. And it looks like some of the media is buying it. Can't wait to hear those tapes.
The Kenosha Kid | 10.13.04 - 7:36 pm | #

" Ever read Dr. Faustus or Faust?"

So you think they've sold their souls? Dude, these clowns would double-cross Satan... They haven't got any souls!
Thurber Hamm - 7:28 pm

Why would the Devil waste a deal with them? He was certain to get them anyway.

The Spirit of Howard Beale | 10.13.04 - 7:36 pm | #

"But these people picked the wrong guy. They can throw anything they want at me, I'll take it. And in the end... we'll see who's left standing."

And then I'l loofah your tummy with a dinner roll, because, baby, I love dinner rolls.... they're so.... buttery and...flaky. And you'll pour gravy on my face, but not in my eyes... that would sting, in a bad way, and hey! I said NOT IN THE EYES!!
Thurber Hamm | 10.13.04 - 7:37 pm | #

Fame makes you a target...

Um, screwing falafel makes you kind of a target too...O'Reilly is just a nasty freak, and not the good kind either...
GN | 10.13.04 - 7:38 pm | #

"hey-what are you all wearing?"

"After reading that, a noose."

"I don't know why O'Reilly's retaining a lawyer in this case...it's obvious he can get himself off!"

Haaaaaaaa

When I'm done saying ew I'm going to be filled with awe at the quick witts around here.
Shrink in SF | 10.13.04 - 7:39 pm | #

mmm, Andrea, come away with me to my secret Levittown casbah....
elkal | 10.13.04 - 7:40 pm | #

I believe you, Lisa. It's amazing what someone people feel they are entitled to as your boss, isn't it?
Fan | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 7:42 pm | #

New program name:

O'rally Fucter

Okay, it's not as good as some of the other posts, but I wanted to get in on the fun.
Dave | 10.13.04 - 7:43 pm | #

This is sordid and degrading stuff, and it might cost O'reilly his television career, but at least he has his Peabody to fall back on.
Chubs Petersen | 10.13.04 - 7:43 pm | #

Is this the 'October Surprise'?

Now would someone please boil me in alcohol. I feel thoroughly violated.

ick
Goon | 10.13.04 - 7:44 pm | #

This is sordid and degrading stuff, and it might cost O'reilly his television career, but at least he has his Peabody to fall back on.
Chubs Petersen | 10.13.04 - 7:44 pm | #

Talk birds to me, wÒÓ†. Talk birds to me now.
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 7:45 pm | #

at least he has his Peabody to fall back on.
Chubs Petersen

Let's hope he lubes it up thoroughly first. Otherwise...ouch!
Philalethes | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 7:46 pm | #

This is sordid and degrading stuff, and it might cost O'reilly his television career, but at least he has his Peabody to fall back on.
Chubs Petersen | 10.13.04 - 7:47 pm | #

Talk birds to me, wÒÓ†. Talk birds to me now.
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 7:48 pm | #

"Turning and turning in the widening gyros..."
Philalethes

Oh, Philalethes, you are a god!
The Boss of You | 10.13.04 - 7:48 pm | #

Q: Could you tell the jury what you saw when Mr. O'Reilly pulled down his pants?

WITNESS: It looked just like a penis, only smaller.
roxtar | 10.13.04 - 7:49 pm | #

"Ever read Dr. Faustus or Faust?"

No, but I've seen "Damn Yankees."

Whatever loofa wants, loofa gets...
Andrew | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 7:50 pm | #

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! THERE IS A GOD! THERE IS A GOD!
R.L. | 10.13.04 - 7:54 pm | #

I can't help wondering what Mrs. O'Reilly thinks (and does) about all this. I'm sure she's aware of his peck-adillos, but knowing about them and seeing them plastered out there for all the world to see is something else...

It's going to be a tough battle for Andrea Mackris, both legally and emotionally, but let's hope after all this time preparing (I assume) to prosecute this, that she's got all her ducks in a row and quacking in unison. It's good that she has a close confidante, and a witness to some of it. What may be tough is to prove that she has told him explicitly to stop.

And yep, it's a riotous thread, despite its yucky and sad subject. And I think that's a great way to handle it right now, too. It will certainly knock huge holes in O'Reilly's credibility, though it may not immediately end his career. Even if he wins the images and doubts will remain.
Rev | 10.13.04 - 7:58 pm | #

Hello to my American friends. Please I am confused. I await the presidential debates on cspan this night--it is nearly 2 hours a.m. at Paris. I do not know of the M.O'Reilley. I think he is funny how ever. There are places here in the 18eme arrondissement that will give for him the stage for the nights. Falafel is very populaire at France.
Etienne Carmenteau | 10.13.04 - 7:58 pm | #

He's countersuing? Does he think he's some kind of gyro?

(exeunt smirking)
Interrobang | 10.13.04 - 8:05 pm | #

shoot, read the whole lawsuit. reads one of his sex calls to plaintiff, O'Reilly ejaculated using a viberator.

THEMS FAMILY VALUE REPUBLICAN, UH HUH.
pro choice lib | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 8:05 pm | #

Ohmigod--

Geez, I hope Ailes, Murdoch and Dunleavy's careers arent tainted by association.

Bare and phalanxed.
Anonymous | 10.13.04 - 8:09 pm | #

It's a shame we have to live in a country where this kind of thing happens. Oooh. Aaah. That tickles. Unh.
Bill O'Reilly | 10.13.04 - 8:11 pm | #

WOOT! I got a cock just like that one!

Adorable little fella. I mean really little. Tiny, but tough. Follows me everywhere.

:o)
Taff | 10.13.04 - 8:11 pm | #

Warning, don't look at the O'Reilly sex documents directly, the mental images could be permanently seared on your brain.

Try looking at them through piece of cardboard with a pinhole in it.
Count Asterisk | 10.13.04 - 8:14 pm | #

Has anyone mentioned the Story of O yet?

Looks like it type set by people who had English as their mother tongue.

Does he mention mother tongues in it?
EPT | 10.13.04 - 8:15 pm | #

Its gotta be true it's as poor excuse for sex sex talk as his book is for ertic writing
Darth Vegas | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 8:17 pm | #

Guy the pdf you directed us to crashed my machine. Must be a virus planted there. Others, beware.
raspberry | 10.13.04 - 8:24 pm | #

Im gonna hafta defend Bill from the many hateful remarks Ive read on this blog.Just give me a minute to take my pet hamster out of my bottom.
notch | 10.13.04 - 8:25 pm | #

Its gotta be true it's as poor excuse for sex sex talk as his book is for ertic writing
Darth Vegas

Can you imagain what he must be like in bed? No, don't try. I just did, it's too awful to think about.
EPT | 10.13.04 - 8:26 pm | #

dude, i showed this post and 'more o'reilly' to my best friend, and now she's disturbed beyond words.
I thought it was disturbingly hilarious, in the sense that Fucker O'Shitface would get canned for it,
but she thought I was just showing her bizarre softcore porn (blissfully unaware of the fact that atrios is a liberal blog-- she just thought it was
some random dude's softcore porn story site or something). So now she won't talk to me. Damn you atrios! It's all your fault!

love,
nick
Nick | 10.13.04 - 8:29 pm | #

I'm going to go over to Steve Gilliard's site, post a link to this post, and then make a point of typing the words "COCK SHAPED VIBRATOR" in it. Hey, kids! You can, too!

Do it in enough places and we can Google-bomb the little Nazi into embarrassment.
Phoenix Woman | 10.13.04 - 8:37 pm | #

Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
JDRhoades | 10.13.04 - 8:38 pm | #

/Can you imagain what he must be like in bed?/

Will you people STOP THIS, PLEASE?
JDRhoades | 10.13.04 - 8:39 pm | #

The SmokingGun.com has the whole court filing. There is a reference to a message left on a answering machine - I remember a guy at a comapny I worked for once left a message for the targeted female on voice mail! Her lawyer walk into the HR lawyer, called it up , and Ka-Boom. He likely left a trail with all the calls and messages. Watch Fox and O'Rielly settle quickly.
DC | 10.13.04 - 8:40 pm | #

The continuining unraveling of The Empire.
Erroll | 10.13.04 - 8:46 pm | #

I read the court brief, and this sounded just like O'Reilly--pompous, arrogant, thuroughly full of himself, and threatening. I'm hoping this woman mortally wounds this fucking creep!
PS Drudge(who has a fued going with O'Reilly) mentioned O'Reilly's counter-suit. Atrios, please keep this story alive, baby. O'Reilly did not mention it on his show tonight, but you can be assured others will keep this alive!!!!!!!!
Strangelove | 10.13.04 - 8:46 pm | #

Didn't you know this is why he's called "Big O" Reilly?
David | 10.13.04 - 8:49 pm | #

has o'reilly mentioned this on his show yet???
Strangelove | 10.13.04 - 8:50 pm | #

at least he has his Peabody to fall back on.
Chubs Petersen

Let's hope he lubes it up thoroughly first. Otherwise...ouch!
Philalethes | Email | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 7:46 pm | #

uh, I'd write "rimshot", but I think I'd just be handing you another set-up.
abyssgazer | 10.13.04 - 8:51 pm | #

Hey boyz m gurlz, it's time for today's Bill O'Reilly riddle!

Q. What do you get when you cross a loofah and falafel?

a. Queen Latifah.
W. Kiernan | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 8:52 pm | #

"Hannity likes getting Bukkakeed.

Call him Sean Hannikkake.""

heh heh
Ron CO | 10.13.04 - 8:53 pm | #

By and large, wouldn't an object intended for sexual stimulation via vaginal (or anal) penetration tend to be shaped like a cock? I think it'd be more pervy if the damn thing was shaped like an iguana or something.

I refuse to read the rest of the papers, since I don't have fine enough sandpaper to clean my corneas without causing permanent visual distortion, but let me hazard a guess that it includes acts prohibited in Maryland, and maybe a little corporal punishment. Am I right?
Fast and Bulbous | 10.13.04 - 9:06 pm | #

ugh. I felt violated.

Can we try to find writing's that are worse? Just to see if it's possible?
weblackey | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 9:57 pm | #

writings that are worse....how ironic.

always do that...doh!
weblackey | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 10:06 pm | #

Okay, I haven't seen anyone else make this comment ... but if true ... does he not realize that he can go online and find a cyber/phone sex partner?? And never once have to say who he really is???
Angie | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 10:09 pm | #

You had me at "Well"
Scott | 10.13.04 - 11:02 pm | #

It states in the lawsuit, plaintiff came back to fox after producer quit.
pro choice lib | 10.13.04 - 8:04 pm |

no, there was another case wholly unrelated to this one where o'reilly got fired from another job over allegations of harassment. that is if memory serves.
y | 10.13.04 - 11:29 pm | #

oops
y | 10.13.04 - 11:30 pm | #

Guy the pdf you directed us to crashed my machine. Must be a virus planted there. Others, beware.

Get yourself a real computer, not one of those play-do windoze things.
Felix Deutsch | 10.13.04 - 11:42 pm | #

Five most vomit inducing words ever strung together in the english lanquage: "After climaxing, Defendant BILL O'REILLY"
doremus jessup | Homepage | 10.13.04 - 11:46 pm | #

Someone has got to get their hands on that deposition transcript. I have been waiting for O'Reilly to answer questions under oath. It's time for the truth, O'Lielly.
Dr. Van Nostrand | 10.13.04 - 11:57 pm | #

Well, wish I hadn't read that. Now I will have nightmares!
Trammell Winterfire | Homepage | 10.14.04 - 12:00 am | #

As a person who has done a lot of work with addicts and who has worked in the field of addiction, and who is himself an addict and has done a lot of his own recovery work, I always figured O'Reilly, with his lies, his believing his own lies, his outburts of rage and tantrums, his egotism, his grandiosity, his bullying and abusive behavior toward people with whom he disagrees, and his statements and opinions that bear little resemblance to reality, had to be some kind of an addict.

Quite honestly, I long suspected that he was an alcoholic.

Well, I was wrong. I think the true nature of his addiction has now been revealed.

The guy's a fucking sex addict, who has no respect for other people's needs or desires or wishes, and has no sense of the impropriety of violating other people's boundaries.

It's just like with Rush, who has been routinely saying the most outrageous and dishonest things for years now. It wasn't until he was revealed to be an oxycontin addict that it all began to make sense to me as to why he was functioning in the way he was.

Trust me, if the allegations this woman made about O'Reilly are true, there's a lot more where where that came from that is just waiting to come out.

A LOT MORE!!
Anonymous | 10.14.04 - 1:43 am | #

O'Shutup, during courtroom breakdown, will blame Al Franken for forcing the Defendant to disclose that his mother was a crack whore.

He has past history in the courts, and for SURE he is going to be telling his shrunken audience that the yellow pouring out of his pores is lemonade.

Maybe he can go on Dr. Phil and get a spanking.

--
Paul | 10.14.04 - 2:11 am | #

Earth to Bill O'Reilly:

Stop playing with your food!

She was talking about "hummus," not "hummer."

------------------------------
Plus, has anyone ever noticed that Bill has always worn more eye liner than ANY drag queen in New Orleans?

Very Goth, Bill.
E. J. | Homepage | 10.14.04 - 2:13 am | #

Jesus, what a creep.
Jon Koppenhoefer | 10.14.04 - 2:32 am | #

The Mideastern food metaphor is pretty unusual. Next he pulls out his kebab and smothers in her hummus and sticks it to her karbij halab. Of course, she can respond that she had no idea O'Reilly was serving a meatless dish.
Kostya | 10.14.04 - 2:49 am | #

The small Balinese woman grinned at him toothlessly. "Wait till I get two wines into you," he told her. "You funny on Leno," she said in a tease business way. "Not like Brokaw." His falafel kinda soaped up her back.
concerned citizen | 10.14.04 - 2:51 am | #

BO as innocent as the OJ.
Knead Sum Would | 10.14.04 - 9:23 am | #

Man, did you guys catch O'Reilly's talking points last night?

I got a screen grab of it ...

http://kevin99gt.home.comcast.ne...et/ falafel2.jpg
Yellow Kid | 10.14.04 - 5:26 pm | #

I rub you with my falafel and loofah!
Bill O'Reilly's Falafel of Lov | Homepage | 10.25.04 - 10:38 pm | #

Characters Remaining:
Commenting by HaloScan