I'MMA LET YOU FINISH
What do you mean???Disallusionment. NO SANTA! ARRRRRGGHHHHH.....NOW YOU TELL ME. O($#(*#&
If I were really rich. GW would be my santa.
What do you mean???Disallusionment. NO SANTA! ARRRRRGGHHHHH.....NOW YOU TELL ME. O($#(*#&
If I were really rich. GW would be my santa.
The day I realized the speed and time it would take Santa to complete his toy deliveries was impossible was the day I stopped believing in Santa. I was 9.
The day I realized the speed and time it would take Santa to complete his toy deliveries was impossible was the day I stopped believing in Santa. I was 9.
A neighbor girl told me when I was six. I distinctly recall having no distress, just thinking that sure explained a lot. My son figured it out on his own at almost 7, when he was calculating how long it would take to stop at every house in the world. I don't know anyone who considered the realization a crushing blow.
A neighbor girl told me when I was six. I distinctly recall having no distress, just thinking that sure explained a lot. My son figured it out on his own at almost 7, when he was calculating how long it would take to stop at every house in the world. I don't know anyone who considered the realization a crushing blow.
I figured out the Santa thing when I was about five.
It was kind of traumatic for me. I felt betrayed by my parents, who had lied to me for no good reason.
However, it was definitely a turning point for me. Ever since that day, I have never trusted anything that I was told by any type of authority figure.
I used to still give my parents shit about it, even like a couple years ago, but now I'm kind of glad that I learned that lesson so early: don't count on the powers that be to tell you the truth!
.
I figured out the Santa thing when I was about five.
It was kind of traumatic for me. I felt betrayed by my parents, who had lied to me for no good reason.
However, it was definitely a turning point for me. Ever since that day, I have never trusted anything that I was told by any type of authority figure.
I used to still give my parents shit about it, even like a couple years ago, but now I'm kind of glad that I learned that lesson so early: don't count on the powers that be to tell you the truth!
.
Plus I never got my EZ Bake Oven, that Son Of A Bitch!
Plus I never got my EZ Bake Oven, that Son Of A Bitch!
A great public urinal to use
when in South Carolina:
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bi...20Lee%
20Atwater
Stop over and share a piddle with 'ole Lee.
Give him some warmth!
A great public urinal to use
when in South Carolina:
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bi...20Lee%
20Atwater
Stop over and share a piddle with 'ole Lee.
Give him some warmth!
years after i also realized there was no "God"(tm).
years after i also realized there was no "God"(tm).
Here's some updated song lyrics about what so many of us REALLY want for Xmas (remember kids, it X-mas , not you-know-who-mas)...
On the 1st day of Xmas my country brought to me:
The demise of missile defense
Norquist in handcuffs
New Corporate regulations,
Moon and Falwell's ruin
The crash of Annie KKKoulter
The exile of Limbaugh
The end of corporate Media
The Troops home from I-Raq
A fair election system,
Papers of Impeachment,
12 nailed for treason,
And a Karl Rove Death Penalty.
Here's some updated song lyrics about what so many of us REALLY want for Xmas (remember kids, it X-mas , not you-know-who-mas)...
On the 1st day of Xmas my country brought to me:
The demise of missile defense
Norquist in handcuffs
New Corporate regulations,
Moon and Falwell's ruin
The crash of Annie KKKoulter
The exile of Limbaugh
The end of corporate Media
The Troops home from I-Raq
A fair election system,
Papers of Impeachment,
12 nailed for treason,
And a Karl Rove Death Penalty.
My 9-year old daughter (3rd grade) is struggling to maintain her belief that Santa is real. We don't try to disillusion her, at least in this aspect.
My 9-year old daughter (3rd grade) is struggling to maintain her belief that Santa is real. We don't try to disillusion her, at least in this aspect.
from what i understand from posts i've read today, cnn & msnbc are reporting on santa as if he's a real person in the news?
from what i understand from posts i've read today, cnn & msnbc are reporting on santa as if he's a real person in the news?
Well it's good to know that my trusted cable news networks are reporting on something.
Well it's good to know that my trusted cable news networks are reporting on something.
I was eight or so.
I remember when We landed on the moon, and such a big deal was made of it.
I'd been watching the local guy (Major Astro) that showed cartoons in the afternoon, supposedly from a spacecraft orbiting the moon. I thought to myself that this was all so ridiculous, because Major Astro had been in space for as long as I could remember.
An older kid in my neighborhood set me straight, and I put two and two together.
I still believed in the Easter bunny for a while, though.
I was eight or so.
I remember when We landed on the moon, and such a big deal was made of it.
I'd been watching the local guy (Major Astro) that showed cartoons in the afternoon, supposedly from a spacecraft orbiting the moon. I thought to myself that this was all so ridiculous, because Major Astro had been in space for as long as I could remember.
An older kid in my neighborhood set me straight, and I put two and two together.
I still believed in the Easter bunny for a while, though.
I have no memories of ever believing in Santa. Of course, I have no memories of ever believing in God either. I think I lack the belief gene.
I have no memories of ever believing in Santa. Of course, I have no memories of ever believing in God either. I think I lack the belief gene.
I think my 4 year old already senses something is up, a friend told me her twelve year old is on the fence, I told her to be proud that her twelve year old is smart enough to fake it for mommy for one more year of fabuous bounty.
I think my 4 year old already senses something is up, a friend told me her twelve year old is on the fence, I told her to be proud that her twelve year old is smart enough to fake it for mommy for one more year of fabuous bounty.
Wait, you mean it's not that I've been bad all these years?
I think it was when I realized that Santa's "secret" visits to my bedroom were pretty similar to the secret I had with daddy. I must have been 12 or so.
-Liddy Dole
Wait, you mean it's not that I've been bad all these years?
I think it was when I realized that Santa's "secret" visits to my bedroom were pretty similar to the secret I had with daddy. I must have been 12 or so.
-Liddy Dole
Senior year for me tops. Though I had suspicions in Junior High.
Senior year for me tops. Though I had suspicions in Junior High.
Atrios, look at my blog, man. Gimme some love!
Atrios, look at my blog, man. Gimme some love!
Between 2nd and 3rd grade sounds about right.
My first glimmering that something just wasn't right came a little earlier, I think. My grandmother used to run outside the house when we weren't looking on Christmas Eve and shake some classic "jingle bells" to make us think Santa's sleigh was coming. One summer, I was looking through my grandfather's desk for a pencil and I came across those bells. I stood there looking at them with the same expression that ape in "2001" has when he's realizing he can use a bone to kill things...
On the other hand, one year I got up in the middle of the night and walked in on my parents putting out the presents. It didn't even click.
Between 2nd and 3rd grade sounds about right.
My first glimmering that something just wasn't right came a little earlier, I think. My grandmother used to run outside the house when we weren't looking on Christmas Eve and shake some classic "jingle bells" to make us think Santa's sleigh was coming. One summer, I was looking through my grandfather's desk for a pencil and I came across those bells. I stood there looking at them with the same expression that ape in "2001" has when he's realizing he can use a bone to kill things...
On the other hand, one year I got up in the middle of the night and walked in on my parents putting out the presents. It didn't even click.
A great public urinal to use
when in South Carolina:
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bi...20Lee%
20Atwater
Stop over and share a piddle with 'ole Lee.
Give him some warmth!
nikto | Email | Homepage | 12.23.04 - 11:38 pm | #
nikto, that's awesome.
A great public urinal to use
when in South Carolina:
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bi...20Lee%
20Atwater
Stop over and share a piddle with 'ole Lee.
Give him some warmth!
nikto | Email | Homepage | 12.23.04 - 11:38 pm | #
nikto, that's awesome.
"Wait, you mean it's not that I've been bad all these years?
Hecate"
Don't be too sure about that yet. The elves said something about you being on an advisory of some sort.
"Wait, you mean it's not that I've been bad all these years?
Hecate"
Don't be too sure about that yet. The elves said something about you being on an advisory of some sort.
Atrios, look at my blog, man. Gimme some love!
You are new at this,, aren't you?
Atrios, look at my blog, man. Gimme some love!
You are new at this,, aren't you?
nikto,
I've thought about pissing on Ronald Reagan's grave, making a video and publishing it online. Then publish a manifesto about why it had to be done.
nikto,
I've thought about pissing on Ronald Reagan's grave, making a video and publishing it online. Then publish a manifesto about why it had to be done.
My parents didn't celebrate x-mas as it was against our religion - We belonged to the Worldwide Church of God - founded by Herbert W Armstrong. Anyway, I kept waiting for Santa to give me presents - sort of like Linus and the Great Pumpkin. I gave Santa the benefit of the doubt, year after year, forty-plus years later, he still hasn't given me any good gifts. Damnit!
Central Scrutinizer,
Yes, new to blogging and being a blogger groupie.
:D
My parents didn't celebrate x-mas as it was against our religion - We belonged to the Worldwide Church of God - founded by Herbert W Armstrong. Anyway, I kept waiting for Santa to give me presents - sort of like Linus and the Great Pumpkin. I gave Santa the benefit of the doubt, year after year, forty-plus years later, he still hasn't given me any good gifts. Damnit!
Central Scrutinizer,
Yes, new to blogging and being a blogger groupie.
:D
I was five.
No one told or anything. But one night after visiting santa at Montgomery Ward's, we drove by a Kreske's with another Santa sitting in the window receiving requests from kids. (Yeah. Kresske's [sp?]. The foreunner of Kmart.)
My parents very quickly and loudly insisted that the Santa we'd visited earlier was the real Santa and this one was just a Helper Santa.
I kept my mouth shut. Seemed to me back then that parent played all kinds of silly games with their kids. Best to go along with it and keep them happy.
BTW, for all you early departers, here's a preview of Christmas catblogging.
Happy Holidays! Seasons' Greetings!
I was five.
No one told or anything. But one night after visiting santa at Montgomery Ward's, we drove by a Kreske's with another Santa sitting in the window receiving requests from kids. (Yeah. Kresske's [sp?]. The foreunner of Kmart.)
My parents very quickly and loudly insisted that the Santa we'd visited earlier was the real Santa and this one was just a Helper Santa.
I kept my mouth shut. Seemed to me back then that parent played all kinds of silly games with their kids. Best to go along with it and keep them happy.
BTW, for all you early departers, here's a preview of Christmas catblogging.
Happy Holidays! Seasons' Greetings!
Yeah, some kids are smart enough to understand and keep it a secret so they can coax their parents into getting them more goodies. You want me to believe this fantasy? Then pony up!
I confronted my parents when I was seven or eight and they admitted their deception. I then told my younger cousin, who became traumatized because he had actually seen the real Santa, so he must exist! When I told him my parents had admitted the truth, he went screaming to his mother complaining that my parents were to blame. My aunt called home and demanded an explanation. I confessed and was reprimanded, but I did clear my parents from any responsibility.
Yeah, some kids are smart enough to understand and keep it a secret so they can coax their parents into getting them more goodies. You want me to believe this fantasy? Then pony up!
I confronted my parents when I was seven or eight and they admitted their deception. I then told my younger cousin, who became traumatized because he had actually seen the real Santa, so he must exist! When I told him my parents had admitted the truth, he went screaming to his mother complaining that my parents were to blame. My aunt called home and demanded an explanation. I confessed and was reprimanded, but I did clear my parents from any responsibility.
we don't tell our kids the santa claus lie.
sometimes I joke about it though, like "you'd better behave or you'll get sticks and coal for Xmas".. and we all laugh..
we don't tell our kids the santa claus lie.
sometimes I joke about it though, like "you'd better behave or you'll get sticks and coal for Xmas".. and we all laugh..
That was fun Dave. Nice work.
That was fun Dave. Nice work.
Awww, hell. Ya mean Santie is fiction? Damn you Duncan. Damn you!
Awww, hell. Ya mean Santie is fiction? Damn you Duncan. Damn you!
Like I said on the other thread you all try to act like didn't happen, they will come for those like me first.
Like I said on the other thread you all try to act like didn't happen, they will come for those like me first.
Visual Politics,
Sorry if I seem critical.
It's just that new blogs are a dime a dozen, and the way you fed the "ether" troll the other day was amusing, yet annoying.
I enjoy your comments, so keep it up.
Visual Politics,
Sorry if I seem critical.
It's just that new blogs are a dime a dozen, and the way you fed the "ether" troll the other day was amusing, yet annoying.
I enjoy your comments, so keep it up.
Is Atrios trying to tell us something about his and the ferret's ontological status?
Is Atrios trying to tell us something about his and the ferret's ontological status?
Geez - I've pushed the whole Santa thing, to the point of setting up email addresses for Santa and replying in Snoop Dogg fo'shizzle language, while at the same time telling my son that God is made up.
Never thought about the mixed messages till now. He's nearly ten, so maybe is just playing the percentages. Maybe we'll have to have a talk.
But on the other hand, having an imaginary friend who isn't all that serious and gives presents to boot might be preferable to one who damns you to hell.
I've also led him to believe that I can change stoplights at will. Secrets and lies! What to do.
Geez - I've pushed the whole Santa thing, to the point of setting up email addresses for Santa and replying in Snoop Dogg fo'shizzle language, while at the same time telling my son that God is made up.
Never thought about the mixed messages till now. He's nearly ten, so maybe is just playing the percentages. Maybe we'll have to have a talk.
But on the other hand, having an imaginary friend who isn't all that serious and gives presents to boot might be preferable to one who damns you to hell.
I've also led him to believe that I can change stoplights at will. Secrets and lies! What to do.
although sometimes i think the "what if" scenario creeps in... like what if their little school friends are right about Santa and their parents are lying.. so the big one straddles the fence a little, just in case...
it's really kinda fucked up... damn you Christmas, die die die!!!!
although sometimes i think the "what if" scenario creeps in... like what if their little school friends are right about Santa and their parents are lying.. so the big one straddles the fence a little, just in case...
it's really kinda fucked up... damn you Christmas, die die die!!!!
I didn't know there was such a thing as Christmas until the parents bought a tv.
I didn't know there was such a thing as Christmas until the parents bought a tv.
My sister stopped my mother dead in her tracks when we were little. There was a "Toy for Tots" event going in at a local shopping center, and she asked my mother why Santa Claus didn't bring toys to poor kids. Mom gave up then and there.
My sister stopped my mother dead in her tracks when we were little. There was a "Toy for Tots" event going in at a local shopping center, and she asked my mother why Santa Claus didn't bring toys to poor kids. Mom gave up then and there.
ΤΏΤ
Enough, put it away for the night.
ΤΏΤ
Enough, put it away for the night.
Blessed are those who Hunger and Thirst for righteousness, for they shall be clamped.
Blessed are those who Hunger and Thirst for righteousness, for they shall be clamped.
When my son was about 8, I began to respond to his questions about whether there was a Santa with "Yes, but I don't think he's a big fat guy in a red suit. I think he is a spirit, a spirit of giving and love. He comes into your house on Christmas Eve and that's why you get presents."
He nodded solemnly and said, "Santa must be a spirit, otherwise he could never get to all those places in one night. But there's definitely a Santa, or NORAD wouldn't have that tracking page for him on the internet."
He still belives in Santa, at least that spirit of giving and love, even if he doesn't believe in the Coca-Cola image. And he feels a bit sorry for the kids that don't. After all, if that spirit of loving generosity wants to use my husband and I to deliver the presents, that doesn't negate the fact that it dwells with us.
When my son was about 8, I began to respond to his questions about whether there was a Santa with "Yes, but I don't think he's a big fat guy in a red suit. I think he is a spirit, a spirit of giving and love. He comes into your house on Christmas Eve and that's why you get presents."
He nodded solemnly and said, "Santa must be a spirit, otherwise he could never get to all those places in one night. But there's definitely a Santa, or NORAD wouldn't have that tracking page for him on the internet."
He still belives in Santa, at least that spirit of giving and love, even if he doesn't believe in the Coca-Cola image. And he feels a bit sorry for the kids that don't. After all, if that spirit of loving generosity wants to use my husband and I to deliver the presents, that doesn't negate the fact that it dwells with us.
Louise
He does have a point about that NORAD bit.
Louise
He does have a point about that NORAD bit.
A Visit from Saint Nicholas (In the Ernest Hemingway Manner)
by James Thurber
(From "No More Mr. Nice Blog")
A Visit from Saint Nicholas (In the Ernest Hemingway Manner)
by James Thurber
(From "No More Mr. Nice Blog")
those toys for tots people really annoy the fuck out of me.
had to stop myself at the CVS from going off.. "toys for tots? how about food stamps for tots instead? how about textbooks and decent schools for tots and jobs for their parents? do they really need more plastic crap or is just something to assuage your white conscience?!?!?!"
just call me the grinch.
those toys for tots people really annoy the fuck out of me.
had to stop myself at the CVS from going off.. "toys for tots? how about food stamps for tots instead? how about textbooks and decent schools for tots and jobs for their parents? do they really need more plastic crap or is just something to assuage your white conscience?!?!?!"
just call me the grinch.
I was in Amsterdam, I saw their Christmas promotional signs in a department store. There was santa and a black woman dressed up funny. In Holland, there's something going on with Santa and black people with a distinctive black-face style. I've seen little cartoon santa and a black person with big red lips, like an old fashioned lawn jockey. It's a bit weird.
I was in Amsterdam, I saw their Christmas promotional signs in a department store. There was santa and a black woman dressed up funny. In Holland, there's something going on with Santa and black people with a distinctive black-face style. I've seen little cartoon santa and a black person with big red lips, like an old fashioned lawn jockey. It's a bit weird.
those toys for tots people really annoy the fuck out of me.
had to stop myself at the CVS from going off.. "toys for tots? how about food stamps for tots instead? how about textbooks and decent schools for tots and jobs for their parents? do they really need more plastic crap or is just something to assuage your white conscience?!?!?!"
just call me the grinch.
sunzoo
Amen Brother!
those toys for tots people really annoy the fuck out of me.
had to stop myself at the CVS from going off.. "toys for tots? how about food stamps for tots instead? how about textbooks and decent schools for tots and jobs for their parents? do they really need more plastic crap or is just something to assuage your white conscience?!?!?!"
just call me the grinch.
sunzoo
Amen Brother!
Well, gotta run. Foot of ice and snow on the ground. Expected and unexpected, stranded guests. PartY!
See you all on the Internets. I prefer the second internet to the first. Nite.
Well, gotta run. Foot of ice and snow on the ground. Expected and unexpected, stranded guests. PartY!
See you all on the Internets. I prefer the second internet to the first. Nite.
I never believed in santa claus.
In fact, I never believed in anything.
I was a nihilistic child.
I never believed in santa claus.
In fact, I never believed in anything.
I was a nihilistic child.
Harold Ford has joined the Hall of Shame??!!!??!?
HOLY SHIT!@!
Harold Ford has joined the Hall of Shame??!!!??!?
HOLY SHIT!@!
When I was 10 or 11 and I still believed in Santa, one of our teachers told us about how Audubon (since they didn't have cameras back in those days) used to have to shoot birds and kill them to examine them.
So I had an idea. My father (being a believer in the Second Amendment) had, in his basement, a 12 gage shotgun and a 30 06 (neither of which had a safety). He also had a case of shells in one of the china cabinets (for the 30 06).
So I decided that (like Audubon) I would shot, kill and examine Santa as a scientific experiment. I actually had fantasies about it making me famous.
Needless to say that when my father found me on Christmas Eve hiding bedind the tree with a loaded 30 06, he beat the crap out of me and bought safeties for both guns. I was more pissed about not getting to catch Santa than anything else.
When I was 10 or 11 and I still believed in Santa, one of our teachers told us about how Audubon (since they didn't have cameras back in those days) used to have to shoot birds and kill them to examine them.
So I had an idea. My father (being a believer in the Second Amendment) had, in his basement, a 12 gage shotgun and a 30 06 (neither of which had a safety). He also had a case of shells in one of the china cabinets (for the 30 06).
So I decided that (like Audubon) I would shot, kill and examine Santa as a scientific experiment. I actually had fantasies about it making me famous.
Needless to say that when my father found me on Christmas Eve hiding bedind the tree with a loaded 30 06, he beat the crap out of me and bought safeties for both guns. I was more pissed about not getting to catch Santa than anything else.
>So I had an idea.
Good Lord!
>So I had an idea.
Good Lord!
sunzoo,
Me too. First we advertise the hell out of this nonsense, making poor kids feel bad that they don't have roomsful of plastic shit designed to make them buy more plastic shit and then we give them some plastic shit at xmas to make ourselves feel better. How about clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, wildnerness for their spirit, education for their mind, and time with an adult to help them grow up? Naw -- but here's Survivor Barbie!
sunzoo,
Me too. First we advertise the hell out of this nonsense, making poor kids feel bad that they don't have roomsful of plastic shit designed to make them buy more plastic shit and then we give them some plastic shit at xmas to make ourselves feel better. How about clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, wildnerness for their spirit, education for their mind, and time with an adult to help them grow up? Naw -- but here's Survivor Barbie!
reminds me of a song by Archers of Loaf..
Assassination shocks a nation.
When such a brutal crime is killing christmas time.
They capped the hero, under mistletoe
Unveiled the bitter sign, declared and left behind.
And no one wants to see it, cause no one can believe it.
A traffic cop set some strangers free, assassination on christmas eve.
And police and detectives were purely inaffecitve,
The d.a.s resgination stands, assassination on christmas eve.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
Assassination shocks a nation.
When such a brutal crime is killing christmas time.
They capped the hero, under mistletoe
Unveiled the bitter sign, declared and left behind.
And no one wants see it, cause no one can believe this.
The teenage revolutions planned assassination on christmas eve.
And police and detctives were purely inaffective,
The d.a.s resgination stands, assassination on christmas eve.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
reminds me of a song by Archers of Loaf..
Assassination shocks a nation.
When such a brutal crime is killing christmas time.
They capped the hero, under mistletoe
Unveiled the bitter sign, declared and left behind.
And no one wants to see it, cause no one can believe it.
A traffic cop set some strangers free, assassination on christmas eve.
And police and detectives were purely inaffecitve,
The d.a.s resgination stands, assassination on christmas eve.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
Assassination shocks a nation.
When such a brutal crime is killing christmas time.
They capped the hero, under mistletoe
Unveiled the bitter sign, declared and left behind.
And no one wants see it, cause no one can believe this.
The teenage revolutions planned assassination on christmas eve.
And police and detctives were purely inaffective,
The d.a.s resgination stands, assassination on christmas eve.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
And a traffic cop let some strangers get away.
SWR, you were a baaaad kid.
SWR, you were a baaaad kid.
I thought god and santa were the same thing when I was little. It must have been the fluffy white beard...
I thought god and santa were the same thing when I was little. It must have been the fluffy white beard...
nikto wrote, "remember kids, it X-mas , not you-know-who-mas"
you do know of course that Xmas is just shorthand for christmas. The X isn't (or originally wasn't) an X, but a chi, the first letter in christ.
I've had to explain this time and time again to fundies who were upset about the usage, but never to anyone who liked it.
Me, I just call it a day off work, something everyone should appreciate. Except Santa. (See, not completely OT.)
nikto wrote, "remember kids, it X-mas , not you-know-who-mas"
you do know of course that Xmas is just shorthand for christmas. The X isn't (or originally wasn't) an X, but a chi, the first letter in christ.
I've had to explain this time and time again to fundies who were upset about the usage, but never to anyone who liked it.
Me, I just call it a day off work, something everyone should appreciate. Except Santa. (See, not completely OT.)
I didn't believe in Santa until my mom tricked me one year by hiding the presents in a place I had already looked.
My son has never believed, but he's autistic, so it's a bit different for him. His little sister is happily cognitively dissonant, seeing dozens of Santas and already having one of three "christmas parties" yet believing there is one that will come on the appropriate night and bring her a pink poodle purse. Luckily she hasn't looked in the den closet.
I didn't believe in Santa until my mom tricked me one year by hiding the presents in a place I had already looked.
My son has never believed, but he's autistic, so it's a bit different for him. His little sister is happily cognitively dissonant, seeing dozens of Santas and already having one of three "christmas parties" yet believing there is one that will come on the appropriate night and bring her a pink poodle purse. Luckily she hasn't looked in the den closet.
>Me, I just call it a day off work, something everyone should appreciate.
Seems a poor excuse to pick a mans pocket every 25th of december! be in just that much earlier the next day.
>Me, I just call it a day off work, something everyone should appreciate.
Seems a poor excuse to pick a mans pocket every 25th of december! be in just that much earlier the next day.
Never believed in Santa.
/Jewish
Never believed in Santa.
/Jewish
SWR:
Hillariously appalling. In the words of the great Jean Shephard - "You could put an eye out with one of those".
SWR:
Hillariously appalling. In the words of the great Jean Shephard - "You could put an eye out with one of those".
First we advertise the hell out of this nonsense, making poor kids feel bad that they don't have roomsful of plastic shit designed to make them buy more plastic shit and then we give them some plastic shit at xmas to make ourselves feel better.
Marketing major, eh? 
Damned insidious....
First we advertise the hell out of this nonsense, making poor kids feel bad that they don't have roomsful of plastic shit designed to make them buy more plastic shit and then we give them some plastic shit at xmas to make ourselves feel better.
Marketing major, eh?
Damned insidious....
I never believed in santa claus.
In fact, I never believed in anything.
I was a nihilistic child.
My parents always told me that Santa was Jewish. We left out Manishevitz and cookies, Catholic literature, and sincere hopes for his conversion.
We were a weird family. Santa always only ever gave us BLT's, too, which made the stockings kinda gross.
Daddy drank.
I never believed in santa claus.
In fact, I never believed in anything.
I was a nihilistic child.
My parents always told me that Santa was Jewish. We left out Manishevitz and cookies, Catholic literature, and sincere hopes for his conversion.
We were a weird family. Santa always only ever gave us BLT's, too, which made the stockings kinda gross.
Daddy drank.
I don't have any memory of being informed that Santa wasn't real, because I was never lead to believe that.
I do remember being informed of issue of mortality. An older sibling told me that everyone dies eventually. I couldn't believe it, I asked my parents, they confirmed it. I was stunned for a few minutes. Then I asked my dad if I could have his things when he dies.
I don't have any memory of being informed that Santa wasn't real, because I was never lead to believe that.
I do remember being informed of issue of mortality. An older sibling told me that everyone dies eventually. I couldn't believe it, I asked my parents, they confirmed it. I was stunned for a few minutes. Then I asked my dad if I could have his things when he dies.
Who would really believe that a fat R in a red suite is going to something nice for anyone?
Who would really believe that a fat R in a red suite is going to something nice for anyone?
I have no problem with Toys for Tots. It's a charity and can define its charitable mission any way it wants. "how about food stamps for tots instead? how about textbooks and decent schools for tots and jobs for their parents?" -- all of these are what the goddamn government is supposed to do, but W wanted tax cuts for the rich so they could give his and hers Jaguars. Now THAT pisses me off.
I have no problem with Toys for Tots. It's a charity and can define its charitable mission any way it wants. "how about food stamps for tots instead? how about textbooks and decent schools for tots and jobs for their parents?" -- all of these are what the goddamn government is supposed to do, but W wanted tax cuts for the rich so they could give his and hers Jaguars. Now THAT pisses me off.
May not be around much tomorrow (today) so I hope I'm not out of line with a little early AM Friday Catblogging.
Meet Pippin.
May not be around much tomorrow (today) so I hope I'm not out of line with a little early AM Friday Catblogging.
Meet Pippin.
>Daddy drank.
oh, did he know my mother?
>Daddy drank.
oh, did he know my mother?
How about clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, wildnerness for their spirit, education for their mind, and time with an adult to help them grow up?
I bet you give kids clothes for christmas.
This year each kid got two things to choose, and the rest of the things they got from relatives who simply had to buy something for the little creatures that are unable to sleep from holiday-induced excitement.
All other gifts were donations to a fund. Easier for everyone and no wasted wrapping! Although I don't know what I'll do while watching the yule log.
How about clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, wildnerness for their spirit, education for their mind, and time with an adult to help them grow up?
I bet you give kids clothes for christmas.
This year each kid got two things to choose, and the rest of the things they got from relatives who simply had to buy something for the little creatures that are unable to sleep from holiday-induced excitement.
All other gifts were donations to a fund. Easier for everyone and no wasted wrapping! Although I don't know what I'll do while watching the yule log.
I thought my deceased grandparents could see me masturbating from Heaven. It traumatized me.
I thought my deceased grandparents could see me masturbating from Heaven. It traumatized me.
i don't understand. what are you guys talking about? figured out what?
i don't understand. what are you guys talking about? figured out what?
My 5 and 7 yo's though, love Cheech & Chong:
"Mamamasita, donde esta Santa Claus
Da guy wit' da hair on his jaws."
My 5 and 7 yo's though, love Cheech & Chong:
"Mamamasita, donde esta Santa Claus
Da guy wit' da hair on his jaws."
nothing Olaf.
nothing Olaf.
I was nine. Goddamn neighbor kid told me Jesus was real, but Santa and the Easter Bunny weren't. I was hugely pissed.
A.
I was nine. Goddamn neighbor kid told me Jesus was real, but Santa and the Easter Bunny weren't. I was hugely pissed.
A.
Forgive my spelling, but it is hard to spell when you are lubricated on "Okie Red"! Suit not suite.
Forgive my spelling, but it is hard to spell when you are lubricated on "Okie Red"! Suit not suite.
FeralLiberal-Great looking cat!
FeralLiberal-Great looking cat!
Ahahaha! Rumsfeld makes suprise visit to Iraq.
cnn
Ahahaha! Rumsfeld makes suprise visit to Iraq.
cnn
Plus I never got my EZ Bake Oven, that Son Of A Bitch!
Monica A
One would surmise that if an Easy Bake oven is nothing more than a light bulb, then a real oven would be four or five light bulbs at the most.
Me like fire!
Cook meat!
Plus I never got my EZ Bake Oven, that Son Of A Bitch!
Monica A
One would surmise that if an Easy Bake oven is nothing more than a light bulb, then a real oven would be four or five light bulbs at the most.
Me like fire!
Cook meat!
Damn SRW, that was great. I could have sworn I'd heard every 'the way I found out' type story there was but that was a new one on me. Props an all that.
Damn SRW, that was great. I could have sworn I'd heard every 'the way I found out' type story there was but that was a new one on me. Props an all that.
My parents always told me that Santa was Jewish. We left out Manishevitz and cookies, Catholic literature, and sincere hopes for his conversion.
We were a weird family. Santa always only ever gave us BLT's, too, which made the stockings kinda gross.
WHAT? Fleische and milche on the same sandwich? He must have been a Reform Jew.
My parents always told me that Santa was Jewish. We left out Manishevitz and cookies, Catholic literature, and sincere hopes for his conversion.
We were a weird family. Santa always only ever gave us BLT's, too, which made the stockings kinda gross.
WHAT? Fleische and milche on the same sandwich? He must have been a Reform Jew.
to recap for anyone just tuning in..
jolly guy in the red suit : not real.
underfed 2000-yr old dead jewish carpenter walking around with holes in his hands and feet: real.
just wanted to clarify that. thanks.
to recap for anyone just tuning in..
jolly guy in the red suit : not real.
underfed 2000-yr old dead jewish carpenter walking around with holes in his hands and feet: real.
just wanted to clarify that. thanks.
sunzoo, lol!
sunzoo, lol!
Regarding the black-face character... you've had a Black Pete sighting.
I remember hearing about this character in Germany, but a little googling shows him to be a little more pan-European.
http://www.amazonminiatures.com/.../
black_pete.htm
Regarding the black-face character... you've had a Black Pete sighting.
I remember hearing about this character in Germany, but a little googling shows him to be a little more pan-European.
http://www.amazonminiatures.com/.../
black_pete.htm
Plus I never got my EZ Bake Oven, that Son Of A Bitch!
My mother, sensing what kind of adult I would become, had the good sense to buy me the Susie Homemaker Blender.
I was an expert mixologist by the age of 9.
Plus I never got my EZ Bake Oven, that Son Of A Bitch!
My mother, sensing what kind of adult I would become, had the good sense to buy me the Susie Homemaker Blender.
I was an expert mixologist by the age of 9.
Rumsfeld makes suprise visit to Iraq.
He's got bigger 'nads than w, eh?
I'd bet that he was ordered to go, considering his
Rumsfeld makes suprise visit to Iraq.
He's got bigger 'nads than w, eh?
I'd bet that he was ordered to go, considering his
underfed 2000-yr old dead jewish carpenter who lived with his mother til he died walking around with holes in his hands and feet: real.
underfed 2000-yr old dead jewish carpenter who lived with his mother til he died walking around with holes in his hands and feet: real.
Why the cookies and milk, I've always wondered.
Seems if you've behaved all year, the tab is squared away.
What, is it the house vig or something?
Why the cookies and milk, I've always wondered.
Seems if you've behaved all year, the tab is squared away.
What, is it the house vig or something?
The best thing about Christmas is listening to Dylan Thomas read A Child's Christmas in Wales.
The best thing about Christmas is listening to Dylan Thomas read A Child's Christmas in Wales.
sunzoo,
No, a lawyer. But I hate this consumerist society w/ a passion. And we start in on kids before they're two fucking years old, making them believe that owning things will fulfill them and that no matter how much they own, they need to own more. Ptui!
sunzoo,
No, a lawyer. But I hate this consumerist society w/ a passion. And we start in on kids before they're two fucking years old, making them believe that owning things will fulfill them and that no matter how much they own, they need to own more. Ptui!
Feral, that cat is too cute to be legal. Are you posting underage cats' pictures again?
And Spinoza, I can prove that the ferrets exist.
Though they'd better wake up if they're going to get all those presents delivered by midnight tomorrow night.
A.
Feral, that cat is too cute to be legal. Are you posting underage cats' pictures again?
And Spinoza, I can prove that the ferrets exist.
Though they'd better wake up if they're going to get all those presents delivered by midnight tomorrow night.
A.
circumstances.
Haloscan just "circumsized" me.
circumstances.
Haloscan just "circumsized" me.
"While Santa Claus leaves chocolate and sweets in the shoes of children, if the children have been naughty then Black Pete takes the nice presents and replaces it with lumps of coal. The child who is really naughty is threatened with being placed in Black Pete's sack and taken back to Spain - surely a throwback to the Catholic wars with Spain."
Fascinating.
"While Santa Claus leaves chocolate and sweets in the shoes of children, if the children have been naughty then Black Pete takes the nice presents and replaces it with lumps of coal. The child who is really naughty is threatened with being placed in Black Pete's sack and taken back to Spain - surely a throwback to the Catholic wars with Spain."
Fascinating.
WHAT? Fleische and milche on the same sandwich? He must have been a Reform Jew.
"Reform Jew" is one of the nicer euphamisms for "drunken Irishman."
The B in the BLTs was BacoBits, anyway, which maybe could cause some debate as to their legitimacy?
WHAT? Fleische and milche on the same sandwich? He must have been a Reform Jew.
"Reform Jew" is one of the nicer euphamisms for "drunken Irishman."
The B in the BLTs was BacoBits, anyway, which maybe could cause some debate as to their legitimacy?
Ok Athenae-I believe the ferrets exist. But what about Atrios?
Ok Athenae-I believe the ferrets exist. But what about Atrios?
>He's got bigger 'nads than w, eh?
fuck that, if he had any nads, he would stick a fucking pistol in his mouth and pull the trigger.
>He's got bigger 'nads than w, eh?
fuck that, if he had any nads, he would stick a fucking pistol in his mouth and pull the trigger.
So your staff is a Rose, A Cat and A Gargoyle. Dang I hope we do business with you guys one day.
So your staff is a Rose, A Cat and A Gargoyle. Dang I hope we do business with you guys one day.
Athenae,
Too cute! You ought to photoshop in a bottle of scotch, though. Make their quiescence a little more believable.
Athenae,
Too cute! You ought to photoshop in a bottle of scotch, though. Make their quiescence a little more believable.
fuck that, if he had any nads, he would stick a fucking pistol in his mouth and pull the trigger.
What an exellent xmas idea!
fuck that, if he had any nads, he would stick a fucking pistol in his mouth and pull the trigger.
What an exellent xmas idea!
Fascinating.
Indeed. How did that *not* catch on here?
Fascinating.
Indeed. How did that *not* catch on here?
And what's with the conical hats at birthdays?
Gotta be a throwback to the duncecap of yore.
Wonder how many Bush voters would have worn them with pride in an earlier life?
And what's with the conical hats at birthdays?
Gotta be a throwback to the duncecap of yore.
Wonder how many Bush voters would have worn them with pride in an earlier life?
underfed 2000-yr old dead jewish carpenter who lived with hisvirginal mother til he died walking around with holes in his hands and feet: real.
underfed 2000-yr old dead jewish carpenter who lived with hisvirginal mother til he died walking around with holes in his hands and feet: real.
The B in the BLTs was BacoBits, anyway, which maybe could cause some debate as to their legitimacy?
Made from real bits o' bacon! So long as Santa didn't leave Beggin' Strip sandwiches, all is well.
The B in the BLTs was BacoBits, anyway, which maybe could cause some debate as to their legitimacy?
Made from real bits o' bacon! So long as Santa didn't leave Beggin' Strip sandwiches, all is well.
Even more fascination: Page 3 of http://www.humanityinaction.org/.../2004/
brown.pdf
Even more fascination: Page 3 of http://www.humanityinaction.org/.../2004/
brown.pdf
Spinoza, Athenae - Thanks, I'll pass on your compliments as she's lying on top of my monitor as I type. Just don't squeal on me for using the company website to post pics of my cat, I have no other way to post pics online.
Spinoza, Athenae - Thanks, I'll pass on your compliments as she's lying on top of my monitor as I type. Just don't squeal on me for using the company website to post pics of my cat, I have no other way to post pics online.
njbrad,
Nobody says she was virginal later on... Matter of fact Sam Kinison has quite an extended riff on this very topic.
njbrad,
Nobody says she was virginal later on... Matter of fact Sam Kinison has quite an extended riff on this very topic.
"And what's with the conical hats at birthdays?"
Didn't everyone take turns tossing party goers into the Birthday cake and see who could get'em to stick upright closest to dead center?
"And what's with the conical hats at birthdays?"
Didn't everyone take turns tossing party goers into the Birthday cake and see who could get'em to stick upright closest to dead center?
What's the milche part of a BLT?
Mayonnaise is parve.
What's the milche part of a BLT?
Mayonnaise is parve.
underfed 2000-yr old dead jewish carpenter who lived with hisvirginal mother til he died walking around with holes in his hands and feet: real.
njbrad
I mean c'mon, that's ridiculous!
A Jewish guy living with his mother is underfed?
underfed 2000-yr old dead jewish carpenter who lived with hisvirginal mother til he died walking around with holes in his hands and feet: real.
njbrad
I mean c'mon, that's ridiculous!
A Jewish guy living with his mother is underfed?
By the way, whoever it was earlier that posted the "Panda Hippo Gnu Deer" piece, thanks again.
I didn't realize what an interesting discussion it would generate in my department with one of my folks who is Dyslexic. Ended up very educational.
By the way, whoever it was earlier that posted the "Panda Hippo Gnu Deer" piece, thanks again.
I didn't realize what an interesting discussion it would generate in my department with one of my folks who is Dyslexic. Ended up very educational.
Speaking of Santa, I was in kind of a pissy mood tonight because I forgot my wallet when I went grocery shopping and had to go home and back. But when I came out the second time I went through the door by the Salvation Army bell ringer. He was a Santa-garbed Korean man who was bellowing out (I shit you not), "Melly Clissmuss!"
Totally changed my attitude for the better.
Well, Happy Clausmas, everybody. See y'all on Sunday or Monday.
Speaking of Santa, I was in kind of a pissy mood tonight because I forgot my wallet when I went grocery shopping and had to go home and back. But when I came out the second time I went through the door by the Salvation Army bell ringer. He was a Santa-garbed Korean man who was bellowing out (I shit you not), "Melly Clissmuss!"
Totally changed my attitude for the better.
Well, Happy Clausmas, everybody. See y'all on Sunday or Monday.
Dixon,
If you ever tasted either of my granmothers' cooking, you might believe it's possible!
Dixon,
If you ever tasted either of my granmothers' cooking, you might believe it's possible!
this is kind of a santa story and white liberal story, only set at thanksgiving time which I beleive falls under Atrios' general rule of holidayness, and relates somewhat tangentally to the toys for tots issue..
when i was a good 14-yr old catholic high schooler, my mother and a guy from the church and myself set off with a carload of food to give to a needy family who had made contact somehow with the congregation. So we pull into this school parking lot and meet an older black woman and her daughter ,who are glad to take the foodstuff off our hands but are strangely reluctant to have us help them take the stuff home with them. Since they can't carry all the food themselves and they have no car, we drive them home and carry the stuff into their townhome. I recognize the woman's older son as a fellow student at my school, and the realization suddenly dawns that this woman has not told her family the truth of their economic situation ~ instead of Mom returning home from the supermarket with the turkey and stuffing, here are these happy white folks carrying the shit into their living room (talk about delivery service!). They were clearly embarrased and ashamed, and I could never look that kid in the eye again at school, we just pretended it never happened. My mom and the guy were convinced that they had done "the right thing".. ok, maybe we did in that moment, except that we should have let those folks have their dignity. but you know, that was the one and ONLY time I ever saw my elders take any direct action to help anyone else.. was it right, was it wrong, did it help or hinder I have no idea... was it absolutely necessary for her family to have a full thanksgiving dinner, what did it mean and what would have it meant if she hadn;t been able to provide a turkey with all the trimmings... would it not have been better to make friends with these people instead and maybe help the mother out when she needed a babysitter or a ride to work...? Does running to the supermarket and delivering the Thanksgiving Myth to some needy person's table really do anything substantial? Can we buy away our guilt? And what about the folks out there spending money on cheap plastic shit just to keep up with our myth of Christmas?! Money that would be better spent keeping hearth and home in one piece?
The holidays are fucking brutal to the poor. Fuck the holidays. Fuck Christmas and all Fuck the rest of it. Just take a Flying Fuck, America. It'll do you good!
this is kind of a santa story and white liberal story, only set at thanksgiving time which I beleive falls under Atrios' general rule of holidayness, and relates somewhat tangentally to the toys for tots issue..
when i was a good 14-yr old catholic high schooler, my mother and a guy from the church and myself set off with a carload of food to give to a needy family who had made contact somehow with the congregation. So we pull into this school parking lot and meet an older black woman and her daughter ,who are glad to take the foodstuff off our hands but are strangely reluctant to have us help them take the stuff home with them. Since they can't carry all the food themselves and they have no car, we drive them home and carry the stuff into their townhome. I recognize the woman's older son as a fellow student at my school, and the realization suddenly dawns that this woman has not told her family the truth of their economic situation ~ instead of Mom returning home from the supermarket with the turkey and stuffing, here are these happy white folks carrying the shit into their living room (talk about delivery service!). They were clearly embarrased and ashamed, and I could never look that kid in the eye again at school, we just pretended it never happened. My mom and the guy were convinced that they had done "the right thing".. ok, maybe we did in that moment, except that we should have let those folks have their dignity. but you know, that was the one and ONLY time I ever saw my elders take any direct action to help anyone else.. was it right, was it wrong, did it help or hinder I have no idea... was it absolutely necessary for her family to have a full thanksgiving dinner, what did it mean and what would have it meant if she hadn;t been able to provide a turkey with all the trimmings... would it not have been better to make friends with these people instead and maybe help the mother out when she needed a babysitter or a ride to work...? Does running to the supermarket and delivering the Thanksgiving Myth to some needy person's table really do anything substantial? Can we buy away our guilt? And what about the folks out there spending money on cheap plastic shit just to keep up with our myth of Christmas?! Money that would be better spent keeping hearth and home in one piece?
The holidays are fucking brutal to the poor. Fuck the holidays. Fuck Christmas and all Fuck the rest of it. Just take a Flying Fuck, America. It'll do you good!
Rumsfeld:
When it looks bleak, when one worries about how its going to come out, when one reads and hears the naysayers and the doubters who say it cant be done, and that were in a quagmire here, one should recall that there have been such doubters throughout every conflict in the history of the world, he said.
The noteworthy parts of that sentence are:
"it looks bleak"
"worries about how its going to come out"
"were in a quagmire here"
Rumsfeld:
When it looks bleak, when one worries about how its going to come out, when one reads and hears the naysayers and the doubters who say it cant be done, and that were in a quagmire here, one should recall that there have been such doubters throughout every conflict in the history of the world, he said.
The noteworthy parts of that sentence are:
"it looks bleak"
"worries about how its going to come out"
"were in a quagmire here"
What's the milche part of a BLT?
Mayonnaise is parve.
A fair question.
One of my family's other most treasured Christmas traditions was to make us eat Baco-Bits with milk, because nobody bought cereal. Then we'd listen to daddy and mommy fighting over the Bloody Mary recipe.
What's the milche part of a BLT?
Mayonnaise is parve.
A fair question.
One of my family's other most treasured Christmas traditions was to make us eat Baco-Bits with milk, because nobody bought cereal. Then we'd listen to daddy and mommy fighting over the Bloody Mary recipe.
If you ever tasted either of my granmothers' cooking, you might believe it's possible!
*My* Jewish mother is partial to brown rice and vegetarian chili, and various other random odds & ends, often involving eggplant &/or tofu...
If you ever tasted either of my granmothers' cooking, you might believe it's possible!
*My* Jewish mother is partial to brown rice and vegetarian chili, and various other random odds & ends, often involving eggplant &/or tofu...
What's the milche part of a BLT?
Mayonnaise is parve.
You should have seen the reaction of the waitress at a Jewish deli I ate in with my then-boss, who wasn't Jewish but was married to one, and our outside counsel, whose name ended in a roman numeral. I order pastrami on rye with mustard, my boss orders the same, and outside counsel orders pastrami on white with mayo.
The waitress looks at him and says, "I am NOT serving you that!"
We had to explain.
What's the milche part of a BLT?
Mayonnaise is parve.
You should have seen the reaction of the waitress at a Jewish deli I ate in with my then-boss, who wasn't Jewish but was married to one, and our outside counsel, whose name ended in a roman numeral. I order pastrami on rye with mustard, my boss orders the same, and outside counsel orders pastrami on white with mayo.
The waitress looks at him and says, "I am NOT serving you that!"
We had to explain.
Try not to be in a pissy mood, driving home, I passed the Tarjay/CompUSA and five cop cars and two ambulances and two engine trucks to find a motorcycle stuck standing straight up in the side of a pickup.
Please drive carefully, it's a sucky time of year to die.
Try not to be in a pissy mood, driving home, I passed the Tarjay/CompUSA and five cop cars and two ambulances and two engine trucks to find a motorcycle stuck standing straight up in the side of a pickup.
Please drive carefully, it's a sucky time of year to die.
our folks had a cardboard chart with lines for each of their 9 kids, and you got a star (gold for good behaviour, blue for naughty behaviour, red for very naughty behaviouir) each day, so Santa would know if you had been properly good, and properly contrite during Advent. then in the morning, after Midnight Mass, and sleeplessness, there would be Santa's bounty awiting downstairs. bedlam, and then also Stockings on the fireplace Santa had filled would be emptied of chocolates and fruits. then breakfast, then 9 kids giving their gifts to everyone in the family. 1 by 1. then the Turkey with all the stuffings.
but your saying Santa isn't real? that can't be right. he comes every year, no matter how poor or rich the circumstances "we" find ourselves in. how can he not be real?
our folks had a cardboard chart with lines for each of their 9 kids, and you got a star (gold for good behaviour, blue for naughty behaviour, red for very naughty behaviouir) each day, so Santa would know if you had been properly good, and properly contrite during Advent. then in the morning, after Midnight Mass, and sleeplessness, there would be Santa's bounty awiting downstairs. bedlam, and then also Stockings on the fireplace Santa had filled would be emptied of chocolates and fruits. then breakfast, then 9 kids giving their gifts to everyone in the family. 1 by 1. then the Turkey with all the stuffings.
but your saying Santa isn't real? that can't be right. he comes every year, no matter how poor or rich the circumstances "we" find ourselves in. how can he not be real?
The holidays are fucking brutal to the poor
word, brother.
The holidays are fucking brutal to the poor
word, brother.
Believe me, it stunned me too when I discovered that I could eat hamburgers with mayonnaise on them.
I still don't know why any sane individual would do that, but I know lots of people do!
Believe me, it stunned me too when I discovered that I could eat hamburgers with mayonnaise on them.
I still don't know why any sane individual would do that, but I know lots of people do!
I realized it long before I let my parents in on the fact that I knew.
I realized it long before I let my parents in on the fact that I knew.
hoo boy String just laid one in that litter box. Get out of town, folks.
hoo boy String just laid one in that litter box. Get out of town, folks.
sunzoo, that brings tears to my eyes. It's hard sometimes not to be bitter this time of year.
sunzoo, that brings tears to my eyes. It's hard sometimes not to be bitter this time of year.
I bet Matt's talking about Santa not being real and not about when we first discovered mayonnaise was parve.
Go figure.
I bet Matt's talking about Santa not being real and not about when we first discovered mayonnaise was parve.
Go figure.
What's the milche part of a BLT?
Mayonnaise is parve.
Perhaps we're missing the forest for the trees here? Hello? BACON????
*ahem*
Sorry.
What's the milche part of a BLT?
Mayonnaise is parve.
Perhaps we're missing the forest for the trees here? Hello? BACON????
*ahem*
Sorry.
our folks had a cardboard chart with lines for each of their 9 kids, and you got a star (gold for good behaviour, blue for naughty behaviour, red for very naughty behaviouir) each day, so Santa would know if you had been properly good, and properly contrite during Advent.
Now he just runs Microsoft Outlook Calendar.
our folks had a cardboard chart with lines for each of their 9 kids, and you got a star (gold for good behaviour, blue for naughty behaviour, red for very naughty behaviouir) each day, so Santa would know if you had been properly good, and properly contrite during Advent.
Now he just runs Microsoft Outlook Calendar.
Oops, the boys in black have arrived, and are attaching a car battery to my nads as we speak. [zap!] [il castrato] "have a holly jolly christmas, it's the best time of the year..."
[zap!]
no honey, go back to bed, Santa's elves are just paying Daddy a visit!
[zzzzap!]
Oops, the boys in black have arrived, and are attaching a car battery to my nads as we speak. [zap!] [il castrato] "have a holly jolly christmas, it's the best time of the year..."
[zap!]
no honey, go back to bed, Santa's elves are just paying Daddy a visit!
[zzzzap!]
On Fridays in Lent daddy used to make us drink whiskey and cod smoothies, because he was mad at how mom flirted with Father Matt.
On Fridays in Lent daddy used to make us drink whiskey and cod smoothies, because he was mad at how mom flirted with Father Matt.
Watertiger is that you on the Giuliani thread, or an impostor? Didn't really peg you as nostalgic for the Giulden Age...
Watertiger is that you on the Giuliani thread, or an impostor? Didn't really peg you as nostalgic for the Giulden Age...
"Now he just runs Microsoft Outlook Calendar.
watertiger"
Oh gOD he is in trouble. And the elves have probably been trying to get him to go Mac forever.
"Now he just runs Microsoft Outlook Calendar.
watertiger"
Oh gOD he is in trouble. And the elves have probably been trying to get him to go Mac forever.
(where comma?)
(where comma?)
3rd grade. My playmates told me. I biked home and demanded the truth. I was so pissed off, I passed the info onto my younger sisters. If there was no Santa for me, there wasn't going to be Santa for any other kid in the family. Course they didn't believe me--and I didn't insist. After a couple of hours I mellowed out and accepted the conspiracy.
3rd grade. My playmates told me. I biked home and demanded the truth. I was so pissed off, I passed the info onto my younger sisters. If there was no Santa for me, there wasn't going to be Santa for any other kid in the family. Course they didn't believe me--and I didn't insist. After a couple of hours I mellowed out and accepted the conspiracy.
Now he just runs Microsoft Outlook Calendar.
I'm wondering if maybe MS Excel or MS Project might not be a better tool for this job.
Maybe Access, but then I do *everything* with Access...
Now he just runs Microsoft Outlook Calendar.
I'm wondering if maybe MS Excel or MS Project might not be a better tool for this job.
Maybe Access, but then I do *everything* with Access...
Eli,
Oooh, I got my first name-stealing troll!
Thanks for the heads up.
Eli,
Oooh, I got my first name-stealing troll!
Thanks for the heads up.
yeah, whenever I see an Excel spreadsheet I think of my dad's chart. the stars, and daily assesment, pure Engineering. all based on Santa's directive to sort the naughty from the nice.
yeah, whenever I see an Excel spreadsheet I think of my dad's chart. the stars, and daily assesment, pure Engineering. all based on Santa's directive to sort the naughty from the nice.
I'm frugal by nature, although I try to be generous at Christmas, but the irony of our consumer driven economy is if people in general in industrial societies truly embraced a frugal lifestyle, the world would experiance a depression that would make the 1930's look like a picnic.
I'm frugal by nature, although I try to be generous at Christmas, but the irony of our consumer driven economy is if people in general in industrial societies truly embraced a frugal lifestyle, the world would experiance a depression that would make the 1930's look like a picnic.
all based on Santa's directive to sort the naughty from the nice.
And you can, in fact, sort them in order of naughty or niceness!
all based on Santa's directive to sort the naughty from the nice.
And you can, in fact, sort them in order of naughty or niceness!
Eli,
Name-stealing troll has been dealt with in summary watertiger fashion.
Thanks again.
Eli,
Name-stealing troll has been dealt with in summary watertiger fashion.
Thanks again.
And you can, in fact, sort them in order of naughty or niceness!
ah, but can your color-code them? You want to go with Outlook 2002.
And you can, in fact, sort them in order of naughty or niceness!
ah, but can your color-code them? You want to go with Outlook 2002.
Name-stealing troll has been dealt with in summary watertiger fashion.
Thanks again.
De nada.
(more like waterpussycat, mumble mumble mumble...)
Name-stealing troll has been dealt with in summary watertiger fashion.
Thanks again.
De nada.
(more like waterpussycat, mumble mumble mumble...)
Reform Jew" is one of the nicer euphamisms for "drunken Irishman."
Ethnicity in the USA is a construct. I was thinking of the Ben Stiller thread.
So I thought about comparing Ben Stiller and Gwynneth Paltrow.
Both have a Jewish father and a Christian mother.
So (in the public eye and in their movies) why is one constructed as a Jew and the other as a WASP?
What's more, why was Bush constructed as a normal guy and Kerry as a WASP?
The sooner we learn about how fake all these categories are, the better we'll be.
Reform Jew" is one of the nicer euphamisms for "drunken Irishman."
Ethnicity in the USA is a construct. I was thinking of the Ben Stiller thread.
So I thought about comparing Ben Stiller and Gwynneth Paltrow.
Both have a Jewish father and a Christian mother.
So (in the public eye and in their movies) why is one constructed as a Jew and the other as a WASP?
What's more, why was Bush constructed as a normal guy and Kerry as a WASP?
The sooner we learn about how fake all these categories are, the better we'll be.
watertiger, welcome to the ranks of the name-stolen!
There is a little ceremony here, so bear with us.
Raise your right hand in the air, palm to your face. Slowly lower all fingers save the middle one; leave that extended, directed at the screen.
Recite the Eschaton Creed: "Phooey."
And have a drink!
watertiger, welcome to the ranks of the name-stolen!
There is a little ceremony here, so bear with us.
Raise your right hand in the air, palm to your face. Slowly lower all fingers save the middle one; leave that extended, directed at the screen.
Recite the Eschaton Creed: "Phooey."
And have a drink!
ah, but can your color-code them? You want to go with Outlook 2002.
Sure! You can just use conditional formatting to automatically assign colors based on their niceness index!
ah, but can your color-code them? You want to go with Outlook 2002.
Sure! You can just use conditional formatting to automatically assign colors based on their niceness index!
A restful night to you all.
A bientot.
A restful night to you all.
A bientot.
The Young Nietsche having a life-changing Xmas revelation:
http://aprilwinchell.com/multime...g/
santatomb.jpg
The Young Nietsche having a life-changing Xmas revelation:
http://aprilwinchell.com/multime...g/
santatomb.jpg
(more like waterpussycat, mumble mumble mumble...)
Flies with sugar, dear. It's also a lot easier to shut 'em up that way.
And Thersites: Phooey! (hic)
goodnight, pibbles!
(more like waterpussycat, mumble mumble mumble...)
Flies with sugar, dear. It's also a lot easier to shut 'em up that way.
And Thersites: Phooey! (hic)
goodnight, pibbles!
My no Santa epiphany came when I was about 7. My mother was about to start anesthesia school, and my brothers and I were living with my elderly grandparents. Money was beyond tight.
My cousins came up from Houston to be at Grandma's house for Xmas. The younger of these was the meanest, most ill-behaved child who ever lived. He LOOKED for trouble. My brothers and I weren't perfect, but we were nowhere in the league of this little shit. If anybody deserved a lump of coal for Xmas, it was my cousin.
When I walked out on Xmas morning and saw the bounty of presents that little S.O.B. had in comparison to what my brothers and I had--more than we had combined, I knew there was no Santa. Nobody could have thought this kid deserved anything for Xmas. And I knew then that the only difference between that kid and me was that his dad made a lot more money than my mother did, so my uncle could afford to buy a lot more presents than my mother could.
I wasn't mad at my mother and grandparents for telling me the Santa lie, really. But like someone upthread mentioned, I didn't trust authority figures so much after it. And I couldn't be bribed after it, either. Be good or you won't get X. The first time my mother tried that the next Xmas, I told her she'd give me what she could and I didn't have a choice about it. I think that's the first time I made her cry. I didn't realize then how much it would hurt a parent to hear something like that.
My no Santa epiphany came when I was about 7. My mother was about to start anesthesia school, and my brothers and I were living with my elderly grandparents. Money was beyond tight.
My cousins came up from Houston to be at Grandma's house for Xmas. The younger of these was the meanest, most ill-behaved child who ever lived. He LOOKED for trouble. My brothers and I weren't perfect, but we were nowhere in the league of this little shit. If anybody deserved a lump of coal for Xmas, it was my cousin.
When I walked out on Xmas morning and saw the bounty of presents that little S.O.B. had in comparison to what my brothers and I had--more than we had combined, I knew there was no Santa. Nobody could have thought this kid deserved anything for Xmas. And I knew then that the only difference between that kid and me was that his dad made a lot more money than my mother did, so my uncle could afford to buy a lot more presents than my mother could.
I wasn't mad at my mother and grandparents for telling me the Santa lie, really. But like someone upthread mentioned, I didn't trust authority figures so much after it. And I couldn't be bribed after it, either. Be good or you won't get X. The first time my mother tried that the next Xmas, I told her she'd give me what she could and I didn't have a choice about it. I think that's the first time I made her cry. I didn't realize then how much it would hurt a parent to hear something like that.
When I was a little kid, and was visiting my grandparents at christmas, my grandfather would say "Let's go check the radiator fluid in the car."
My little brother and I would trudge after him, and once inside the garage he would pull a bottle of Ten High from atop the rafters, and take a huge swig.
"Don't tell your grandma", he would say, (as if she couldn't smell it on him), because she always could.
And always did.
That was the start of Festivus, long before Frank Costanza made it popular.
The sooner we learn about how fake all these categories are, the better we'll be.
I smell a doctoral dissertation. But of course the ad agencies would have you killed in a new york minute. How else would we control the great unwashed?
Caste. It's what's for dinner.
When I was a little kid, and was visiting my grandparents at christmas, my grandfather would say "Let's go check the radiator fluid in the car."
My little brother and I would trudge after him, and once inside the garage he would pull a bottle of Ten High from atop the rafters, and take a huge swig.
"Don't tell your grandma", he would say, (as if she couldn't smell it on him), because she always could.
And always did.
That was the start of Festivus, long before Frank Costanza made it popular.
The sooner we learn about how fake all these categories are, the better we'll be.
I smell a doctoral dissertation. But of course the ad agencies would have you killed in a new york minute. How else would we control the great unwashed?
Caste. It's what's for dinner.
I hope somebody frags Rumsfeld.
I hope somebody frags Rumsfeld.
"Let's go check the radiator fluid in the car."
i'm writing that one down. classic!
"Let's go check the radiator fluid in the car."
i'm writing that one down. classic!
i second that
i second that
both the radiator and the fragging.
I guess you know what I think....
both the radiator and the fragging.
I guess you know what I think....
Sure! You can just use conditional formatting to automatically assign colors based on their niceness index!
you better stop~!
Sure! You can just use conditional formatting to automatically assign colors based on their niceness index!
you better stop~!
Okay, I swear I'm going to sleep after this:
Male Jews on TV/Movies: good, funny in self-deprecating way.
Female Jews: shrews.
Male WASPS on TV/Movies: Cold, distant.
Female WASPs: Unattainable, thus desireable.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Okay, I swear I'm going to sleep after this:
Male Jews on TV/Movies: good, funny in self-deprecating way.
Female Jews: shrews.
Male WASPS on TV/Movies: Cold, distant.
Female WASPs: Unattainable, thus desireable.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
So the rich guy's kid was a spoiled little shit? What a surprise... I heard horror stories about when our department's big honcho brought his kid along for Bring Your Kid To Work Day - was a complete little terror, and the honcho couldn't wait to be rid of him.
Just because you have money and are generally King Shit, doesn't mean you have to indulge your kid's every whim and make him believe *he's* King Shit from day one as well. *Maybe* it'll give him much-needed confidence, but more likely it'll make him such a poisonous little troll that only your cronies will ever hire him. Then again, maybe that's enough, assuming you have no interest in your kid ever achieving anything on his own. But that's pretty sad if all you want is for your kid to be "taken care of", rather than for he or she to actually aspire, achieve, create, lead, or whatever.
And I wish I could remember when I stopped believing in Santa Claus, but I'm drawing a complete blank, so maybe I never actually did.
So the rich guy's kid was a spoiled little shit? What a surprise... I heard horror stories about when our department's big honcho brought his kid along for Bring Your Kid To Work Day - was a complete little terror, and the honcho couldn't wait to be rid of him.
Just because you have money and are generally King Shit, doesn't mean you have to indulge your kid's every whim and make him believe *he's* King Shit from day one as well. *Maybe* it'll give him much-needed confidence, but more likely it'll make him such a poisonous little troll that only your cronies will ever hire him. Then again, maybe that's enough, assuming you have no interest in your kid ever achieving anything on his own. But that's pretty sad if all you want is for your kid to be "taken care of", rather than for he or she to actually aspire, achieve, create, lead, or whatever.
And I wish I could remember when I stopped believing in Santa Claus, but I'm drawing a complete blank, so maybe I never actually did.
I smell a doctoral dissertation. But of course the ad agencies would have you killed in a new york minute. How else would we control the great unwashed?
Caste. It's what's for dinner.
sunzoo | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 12:57 am | #
This (culturally) ethnic/religious caste in the USA based on what wave of immigrants you came with is remarkably effective in it's ability for social control.
Think of Fox News. Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. They're both privilaged, pampered TV news pundits but their Irishness is used as a construct to rescuse them from being seen as part of the "liberal elite" (which we all know is Jewish or Protestant).
That's why O'Reilly's kind of going over the edge. O'Reilly is supposed to *hint* subtly that he's the kind of Staten Island Irish guy who becomes a cop so he can beat up blacks. The problem is in his case its not totally fake.
But still, he's hardly speaking for the blue collar Catholic working-class. He's speaking for the elite.
I smell a doctoral dissertation. But of course the ad agencies would have you killed in a new york minute. How else would we control the great unwashed?
Caste. It's what's for dinner.
sunzoo | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 12:57 am | #
This (culturally) ethnic/religious caste in the USA based on what wave of immigrants you came with is remarkably effective in it's ability for social control.
Think of Fox News. Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity. They're both privilaged, pampered TV news pundits but their Irishness is used as a construct to rescuse them from being seen as part of the "liberal elite" (which we all know is Jewish or Protestant).
That's why O'Reilly's kind of going over the edge. O'Reilly is supposed to *hint* subtly that he's the kind of Staten Island Irish guy who becomes a cop so he can beat up blacks. The problem is in his case its not totally fake.
But still, he's hardly speaking for the blue collar Catholic working-class. He's speaking for the elite.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Definitely not in my personal experience.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Definitely not in my personal experience.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Winona Ryder/Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites.
BUT it had the subtext of Ryder rejecting Ben Stiller.
And she was indicating hippie not ethnic.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Winona Ryder/Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites.
BUT it had the subtext of Ryder rejecting Ben Stiller.
And she was indicating hippie not ethnic.
you better stop~!
You will learn not to provoke me.
you better stop~!
You will learn not to provoke me.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Howard Dean.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Howard Dean.
swr,
maybe the reason the social construct of race/ethnicity is historically used as a political programme to divide us is because whenever we theorize (or try to build a political programme around) race/class/gender, it is always class that drops out of the equation. "identity" (productive or not) becomes a form of avoiding how class (and all the markers of class position and commodity fetishism and concrete consumption) pre-determines our relationship to the world-as-it-is, and not the world Santa (or some marketing shill standing in the place of Santa) would Idealize our ethnic, religious, racial, or gendered identity as determinate for our "true" relationship to the world, or world-as-commodities expressed as Xmas.
swr,
maybe the reason the social construct of race/ethnicity is historically used as a political programme to divide us is because whenever we theorize (or try to build a political programme around) race/class/gender, it is always class that drops out of the equation. "identity" (productive or not) becomes a form of avoiding how class (and all the markers of class position and commodity fetishism and concrete consumption) pre-determines our relationship to the world-as-it-is, and not the world Santa (or some marketing shill standing in the place of Santa) would Idealize our ethnic, religious, racial, or gendered identity as determinate for our "true" relationship to the world, or world-as-commodities expressed as Xmas.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Funniest deconstruction of it. George Constanza and that woman who died from licking stamps.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
Funniest deconstruction of it. George Constanza and that woman who died from licking stamps.
Howard Dean isn't a TV/Movie character...thank god.
But I applaud the effort!
Must...go...to...sleep...
Howard Dean isn't a TV/Movie character...thank god.
But I applaud the effort!
Must...go...to...sleep...
FWIW,
Bill Murray is on Conan.
FWIW,
Bill Murray is on Conan.
So the rich guy's kid was a spoiled little shit?
Eli, I may be slow but was that ment to be a Bush analogy?
So the rich guy's kid was a spoiled little shit?
Eli, I may be slow but was that ment to be a Bush analogy?
maybe the reason the social construct of race/ethnicity is historically used as a political programme to divide us is because whenever we theorize (or try to build a political programme around) race/class/gender, it is always class that drops out of the equation.
Nothing maybe about it. That's the exact reason why.
And the right is masterful at using ethnic victimhood (Irish Catholic class resentment or Jewish fear of anti-semitism) as a stick to beat the left over the head with.
maybe the reason the social construct of race/ethnicity is historically used as a political programme to divide us is because whenever we theorize (or try to build a political programme around) race/class/gender, it is always class that drops out of the equation.
Nothing maybe about it. That's the exact reason why.
And the right is masterful at using ethnic victimhood (Irish Catholic class resentment or Jewish fear of anti-semitism) as a stick to beat the left over the head with.
Bill Murray is on Conan.
Okay, for a split second there, I had a completely different image...
Bill Murray is on Conan.
Okay, for a split second there, I had a completely different image...
Fran Drescher and they fruity British guy on "The Nanny".
Fran Drescher and they fruity British guy on "The Nanny".
Eli, I may be slow but was that ment to be a Bush analogy?
Not specifically, actually - if anything, I was probably thinking more of Paris Hilton, who Lloyd Grove smacked down pretty thoroughly in the NY Daily News today (click my homepage if morbidly curious). Also of a documentary by one of the Johnson & Johnson heirs, where he interviews a bunch of his ridiculously wealthy friends, some of whom are nice people wrestling with the concept of insane wealth, some of whom are just kind of shallow, and some of whom are just outright complete assholes.
But if the shoe fits...
Eli, I may be slow but was that ment to be a Bush analogy?
Not specifically, actually - if anything, I was probably thinking more of Paris Hilton, who Lloyd Grove smacked down pretty thoroughly in the NY Daily News today (click my homepage if morbidly curious). Also of a documentary by one of the Johnson & Johnson heirs, where he interviews a bunch of his ridiculously wealthy friends, some of whom are nice people wrestling with the concept of insane wealth, some of whom are just kind of shallow, and some of whom are just outright complete assholes.
But if the shoe fits...
WASP Boy/Ethnic Girl:
Love Story
The Way We Were
.....
WASP Boy/Ethnic Girl:
Love Story
The Way We Were
.....
But still, he's hardly speaking for the blue collar Catholic working-class. He's speaking for the elite.
SWR, well spoken. And it should be shouted from the rooftops.
ps, this is cdelia/sunzoo.. truce?
But still, he's hardly speaking for the blue collar Catholic working-class. He's speaking for the elite.
SWR, well spoken. And it should be shouted from the rooftops.
ps, this is cdelia/sunzoo.. truce?
Fran Drescher and they fruity British guy on "The Nanny".
Mmm... Fran Drescher...
I know, I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help it...
Fran Drescher and they fruity British guy on "The Nanny".
Mmm... Fran Drescher...
I know, I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help it...
I can't forget the time he held his breath 'till he passed out on Dave....
I can't forget the time he held his breath 'till he passed out on Dave....
James T. Kirk and Miramanee. He played goy, and she played one of the ten lost tribes. (Okay, that's pushing it, though in real life, both are Jewish.... I think.)
James T. Kirk and Miramanee. He played goy, and she played one of the ten lost tribes. (Okay, that's pushing it, though in real life, both are Jewish.... I think.)
But if the shoe fits...
It seemed to fit all too well which is why I asked ; )
But if the shoe fits...
It seemed to fit all too well which is why I asked ; )
ps, this is cdelia/sunzoo.. truce?
sunzoo | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 1:12 am | #
Oh I was never really pissed at you. You just walked unknowingly into the verbal equivalent a drunken brawl and get smacked by a pitcher of beer.
ps, this is cdelia/sunzoo.. truce?
sunzoo | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 1:12 am | #
Oh I was never really pissed at you. You just walked unknowingly into the verbal equivalent a drunken brawl and get smacked by a pitcher of beer.
Anyone remember the SNL gameshow parody, "Jew/Not A Jew"? Morbidly funny stuff...
Anyone remember the SNL gameshow parody, "Jew/Not A Jew"? Morbidly funny stuff...
get smacked by a pitcher of beer.
is that what it was?!? it's all a blur to me now..
luckily bass ale takes the edge off...
get smacked by a pitcher of beer.
is that what it was?!? it's all a blur to me now..
luckily bass ale takes the edge off...
Putty and Elaine?
Putty and Elaine?
Make that Puddy and Elaine?
Make that Puddy and Elaine?
WASP Boy/Ethnic Girl:
Ethan Hawke (WASP) and Gwynneth Paltrow (half Jews) in Great Expectations.
Oh wait, Gwynneth plays the cold icy blond bitch and Hawke plays the working class underdog.
Are you saying that perhaps these ethnic categories are FAKE.
Think about how much they represent a lazy culture.
Why do Jewish men in popular culture ALWAYS have to be sweet, charming neurotics?
Why can't they be three dimensional?
Why do Anglo Saxon woman ALWAYS look like (non Anglo Saxon (Gwynneth Patrow) and not any of my fatass white trash relatives?
It's all FAKE.
WASP Boy/Ethnic Girl:
Ethan Hawke (WASP) and Gwynneth Paltrow (half Jews) in Great Expectations.
Oh wait, Gwynneth plays the cold icy blond bitch and Hawke plays the working class underdog.
Are you saying that perhaps these ethnic categories are FAKE.
Think about how much they represent a lazy culture.
Why do Jewish men in popular culture ALWAYS have to be sweet, charming neurotics?
Why can't they be three dimensional?
Why do Anglo Saxon woman ALWAYS look like (non Anglo Saxon (Gwynneth Patrow) and not any of my fatass white trash relatives?
It's all FAKE.
Performed by adam sandler
Okay...
This is a song that uhh..
Theres a lot of christmas songs out there and uhh..
Not too many chanukah songs.
So uhh..
I wrote a song for all those nice little jewish kids who dont get to hear any chanukah songs.
Here we go...
Put on your yarmulke
Here comes chanukah
So much funukah
To celebrate chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a christmas tree
Heres a list of people who are jewish just like you and me
David lee roth lights the menorah
So do james caan, kirk douglas, and the late dinah shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the carnegie deli
Bowser from sha na na and arthur fonzerelli
Paul newmans half jewish, goldie hawns half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin jew
You dont need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
cause you can spin a dreidel with captain kirk and mr. spock- both jewish
Put on your yarmulke
Its time for chanukah
The owner of the seattle supersonicahs
Celebrates chanukah
O.j. simpson, not a jew
But guess who is? hall of famer rod carew- he converted
We got ann landers and her sister dear abby
Harrison fords a quarter jewish- not too shabby
Some people think that ebenezer scrooge is
Well hes not, but guess who is
All three stooges
So many jews are in showbiz
Tom cruise isnt, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend veronica
Its time to celebrate chanukah
I hope I get a harmonicah
Oh this lovely, lovely chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy chanukah
Happy chanukah
Performed by adam sandler
Okay...
This is a song that uhh..
Theres a lot of christmas songs out there and uhh..
Not too many chanukah songs.
So uhh..
I wrote a song for all those nice little jewish kids who dont get to hear any chanukah songs.
Here we go...
Put on your yarmulke
Here comes chanukah
So much funukah
To celebrate chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a christmas tree
Heres a list of people who are jewish just like you and me
David lee roth lights the menorah
So do james caan, kirk douglas, and the late dinah shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the carnegie deli
Bowser from sha na na and arthur fonzerelli
Paul newmans half jewish, goldie hawns half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin jew
You dont need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
cause you can spin a dreidel with captain kirk and mr. spock- both jewish
Put on your yarmulke
Its time for chanukah
The owner of the seattle supersonicahs
Celebrates chanukah
O.j. simpson, not a jew
But guess who is? hall of famer rod carew- he converted
We got ann landers and her sister dear abby
Harrison fords a quarter jewish- not too shabby
Some people think that ebenezer scrooge is
Well hes not, but guess who is
All three stooges
So many jews are in showbiz
Tom cruise isnt, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend veronica
Its time to celebrate chanukah
I hope I get a harmonicah
Oh this lovely, lovely chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy chanukah
Happy chanukah
Hey! Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn!
Hey! Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn!
The most accurate representation of Irish Catholic holiday culture ever is probably the Star Wars Holiday Special. That really does sum it up admirably.
The most accurate representation of Irish Catholic holiday culture ever is probably the Star Wars Holiday Special. That really does sum it up admirably.
James Brolin and Barbra Streisand!
James Brolin and Barbra Streisand!
I like the Goys & Girls theme we've got going here now.
I like the Goys & Girls theme we've got going here now.
Me and an Ex Girlfriend!
Me and an Ex Girlfriend!
Has anybody ever read Portnoy's Complaint? Perfect deconstruction of the whole myth.
The poor schmuck who narrates it can't get over his attraction for the nastiest piece of white trash imaginable because she's not a Jew.
And at the end of it, he winds up going to Israel, trying to rape a female IDF soldier and get the crap beaten out of him.
Has anybody ever read Portnoy's Complaint? Perfect deconstruction of the whole myth.
The poor schmuck who narrates it can't get over his attraction for the nastiest piece of white trash imaginable because she's not a Jew.
And at the end of it, he winds up going to Israel, trying to rape a female IDF soldier and get the crap beaten out of him.
People's people.
People's people.
Me my brother and my dad took a hike Easter Sunday in southern Indiana about 40 years back (we are heathens so no need to go to church). We come up a hill and see a 6 foot Easter Bunny. I/We ran after it and when we came up the rise it was gone. I don't know about Santa for sure, but there is a Easter Bunny, I seen it so's my brother and so has my dead dad.
Me my brother and my dad took a hike Easter Sunday in southern Indiana about 40 years back (we are heathens so no need to go to church). We come up a hill and see a 6 foot Easter Bunny. I/We ran after it and when we came up the rise it was gone. I don't know about Santa for sure, but there is a Easter Bunny, I seen it so's my brother and so has my dead dad.
yeah, Sandler's schtick, ste to melody. but the SNL stuff was topped by The Waterboy! haven't seen Spanglish yet, but where would the Fish Out of Water Genre be without Sandler?
yeah, Sandler's schtick, ste to melody. but the SNL stuff was topped by The Waterboy! haven't seen Spanglish yet, but where would the Fish Out of Water Genre be without Sandler?
People's people.
So why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully?
People's people.
So why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully?
"Benjamin Franklin didn't invent electricity! *I* did! Benjamin Franklin is the *Debil*!"
"Benjamin Franklin didn't invent electricity! *I* did! Benjamin Franklin is the *Debil*!"
Also, Spanglish looks like it must be one of the most schmaltzy and godawful movies ever made.
Also, Spanglish looks like it must be one of the most schmaltzy and godawful movies ever made.
According to Adam Sandler's Chanukah Song
... You can spin the dradle with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock. Both Jewish.
According to Adam Sandler's Chanukah Song
... You can spin the dradle with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock. Both Jewish.
The most accurate representation of Irish Catholic holiday culture ever is probably the Star Wars Holiday Special. That really does sum it up admirably.
as a child of the Second Vatican Council I would have to disagree/resemble that remark. Father Coughlin's rant's gave way to the great postwar hospital building boom.
"Irish Catholic holiday culture" is a tautology.
The most accurate representation of Irish Catholic holiday culture ever is probably the Star Wars Holiday Special. That really does sum it up admirably.
as a child of the Second Vatican Council I would have to disagree/resemble that remark. Father Coughlin's rant's gave way to the great postwar hospital building boom.
"Irish Catholic holiday culture" is a tautology.
Oh great. foo puts up the whole song! Well I can tell when I'm out resourced.
Oh great. foo puts up the whole song! Well I can tell when I'm out resourced.
I grew up without believing in Santa and appreciated the fact my parents did not lie to me. I got a lot of heat from friends and mothers for not letting my children believe in him. My husband was disappointed because he liked the game of pretend for the kids.
I find the whole thing moronic and it can be devastating to the kids when they discover you would go to such lengths to lie to them.
I grew up without believing in Santa and appreciated the fact my parents did not lie to me. I got a lot of heat from friends and mothers for not letting my children believe in him. My husband was disappointed because he liked the game of pretend for the kids.
I find the whole thing moronic and it can be devastating to the kids when they discover you would go to such lengths to lie to them.
"Irish Catholic holiday culture" is a tautology.
Piffle. It is a catachresis.
"Irish Catholic holiday culture" is a tautology.
Piffle. It is a catachresis.
" drunken brawl and get smacked by a pitcher of beer."
I have no idea what is going down but why can't you just send a card and be done with it. Traditional drunken brawls went out with the 70's and Quiana.
" drunken brawl and get smacked by a pitcher of beer."
I have no idea what is going down but why can't you just send a card and be done with it. Traditional drunken brawls went out with the 70's and Quiana.
So why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully?
Do we?
Like a fundy that I worked with long ago, when she would would pull out her Ace In The Hole when discussing dfgfghfdghfgh......
Get this...
She would say, "Things are the way they are because that's just the way God wants it."
Then she would smile this beautific smile that you couldn't help but to want to slap from her face.
To my credit, I never did.
So why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully?
Do we?
Like a fundy that I worked with long ago, when she would would pull out her Ace In The Hole when discussing dfgfghfdghfgh......
Get this...
She would say, "Things are the way they are because that's just the way God wants it."
Then she would smile this beautific smile that you couldn't help but to want to slap from her face.
To my credit, I never did.
Ahahaha! Rumsfeld makes suprise visit to Iraq.
I hope he stays there.
Ahahaha! Rumsfeld makes suprise visit to Iraq.
I hope he stays there.
Ahahaha! Rumsfeld makes suprise visit to Iraq.
I hope he stays there.
weblackey | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 1:43 am | #
Sometimes you have to fight a war with the war criminals you've got and not the ones you'd like.
Ahahaha! Rumsfeld makes suprise visit to Iraq.
I hope he stays there.
weblackey | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 1:43 am | #
Sometimes you have to fight a war with the war criminals you've got and not the ones you'd like.
...Traditional drunken brawls went out with the 70's... - EkCenTriK
Thems fighting words!
...Traditional drunken brawls went out with the 70's... - EkCenTriK
Thems fighting words!
Father would threaten us that if we mis-behaved before Santa came, he would cover the roof in loaded bear traps ....
Father would threaten us that if we mis-behaved before Santa came, he would cover the roof in loaded bear traps ....
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
The Governess, with Minnie Driver and Tom Wilkinson and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.
It's why you always see the Jewish guy hook up with the WASP girl. Ever see the other way around?
The Governess, with Minnie Driver and Tom Wilkinson and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.
" drunken brawl and get smacked by a pitcher of beer."
I have no idea what is going down but why can't you just send a card and be done with it. Traditional drunken brawls went out with the 70's and Quiana.
EkCenTriK | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 1:41 am | #
He got caught in an LGF swarm thread and got hit by some friendly fire.
As Rumsfeld would say, there are known trolls, unknown trolls trolling as known trolls, and non trolls being trolle as known trolls by known non trolls.
" drunken brawl and get smacked by a pitcher of beer."
I have no idea what is going down but why can't you just send a card and be done with it. Traditional drunken brawls went out with the 70's and Quiana.
EkCenTriK | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 1:41 am | #
He got caught in an LGF swarm thread and got hit by some friendly fire.
As Rumsfeld would say, there are known trolls, unknown trolls trolling as known trolls, and non trolls being trolle as known trolls by known non trolls.
Do we?
Click my homepage.
Do we?
Click my homepage.
I love Minnie Driver...
Especially when I've had too much to drink and I need someone small to drive me home.
I love Minnie Driver...
Especially when I've had too much to drink and I need someone small to drive me home.
Traditional drunken brawls went out with the 70's
Mississippi was rife with them in the 80s, when I was stationed there. Twice. But that's Mississippi for you.
Traditional drunken brawls went out with the 70's
Mississippi was rife with them in the 80s, when I was stationed there. Twice. But that's Mississippi for you.
Do we?
Click my homepage.
Eli | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 1:50 am | #
Don't make me pull out the heavy artillary.
Do we?
Click my homepage.
Eli | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 1:50 am | #
Don't make me pull out the heavy artillary.
A religious cynic would say lying to your children about Santas miracles is equivalent to the Bible lying about Jesus miracles. Of course I am not a cynic, I have seen the miracle of the Easter Bunny. It was a personal experience that has changed my worldview about religion. Praise Bunny.
One thing bothers me, my dad said it looked like a guy in a costume. But Mr. PHD know it all dad could not explain where the Easter Bunny disappeared to.
Some days I feel it is a curse.
A religious cynic would say lying to your children about Santas miracles is equivalent to the Bible lying about Jesus miracles. Of course I am not a cynic, I have seen the miracle of the Easter Bunny. It was a personal experience that has changed my worldview about religion. Praise Bunny.
One thing bothers me, my dad said it looked like a guy in a costume. But Mr. PHD know it all dad could not explain where the Easter Bunny disappeared to.
Some days I feel it is a curse.
Don't make me pull out the heavy artillary.
No, no, anything but that. I might have to whip out "In My Country There Is Problem" as an antidote...
Don't make me pull out the heavy artillary.
No, no, anything but that. I might have to whip out "In My Country There Is Problem" as an antidote...
"The holidays are fucking brutal to the poor. Fuck the holidays. Fuck Christmas and all Fuck the rest of it. Just take a Flying Fuck, America. It'll do you good!"
What do you mean?? Our country has the highest standard of living in the world. We Good.
"The holidays are fucking brutal to the poor. Fuck the holidays. Fuck Christmas and all Fuck the rest of it. Just take a Flying Fuck, America. It'll do you good!"
What do you mean?? Our country has the highest standard of living in the world. We Good.
In My Country There Is Problem
Jesus Christ.
In My Country There Is Problem
Jesus Christ.
I remember the rest of my third grade class giving a girl in the class a hard time because she still believed in Santa.
I remember the rest of my third grade class giving a girl in the class a hard time because she still believed in Santa.
She would say, "Things are the way they are because that's just the way God wants it."
Wow, CS. I never got a set-up line like THAT one.
So many possibilities hit me to wipe that beatific expression off her face that it boggles the mind.
But the words sanctimonious, hypocritical, ignorant and twat were the first to occur to me.
She would say, "Things are the way they are because that's just the way God wants it."
Wow, CS. I never got a set-up line like THAT one.
So many possibilities hit me to wipe that beatific expression off her face that it boggles the mind.
But the words sanctimonious, hypocritical, ignorant and twat were the first to occur to me.
I'd like to apologize to her now, but I forgot her name. She probably doesn't remember me anyway. Oh, well.
I'd like to apologize to her now, but I forgot her name. She probably doesn't remember me anyway. Oh, well.
I'm a fairly even tempered artistic recluse and I was forced by this season to go to the Mall. I go there once a year. I detest this mall. This year was especially painfull, and I started contemplating homocide , then a picture of D Rumsfeld flashed across all 40 monitors covering the back wall of the Electronics Emporium , and for a brief moment the whole mall was aglow in reflected rumsfeld , bouncing eerily around polished faux-stone and off the excercise equipment in the opposing shop ...then the signal on all 40 monitors locked and Rummies head ,Teeth Clenched in frozen mid-stresspoint, the air filled with the same endless vowel " UuUuUUuuUUUUuuUUuuUUU" that started to distort and waver and echo , the oddest combination of acoustics, Digital Video distortion, equipment failure and media perversion .Across my field of view , and I am riveted yet horrified , a truly ragged homeless man staggers by in a solvent stupor and bellows " Ahhhh, Shut the Fuck Up you Fuckin ASshole !!!!" And staggers on making spastic swatting motions with his hands....then at once , they killed the system and the tv's went black and silent with a 10000megawatt Bwowwwup!and everyone stood slightly less easy for a moment and then carried on rampant consumerism ...
I don't know how long it will be before I am normal again
I'm a fairly even tempered artistic recluse and I was forced by this season to go to the Mall. I go there once a year. I detest this mall. This year was especially painfull, and I started contemplating homocide , then a picture of D Rumsfeld flashed across all 40 monitors covering the back wall of the Electronics Emporium , and for a brief moment the whole mall was aglow in reflected rumsfeld , bouncing eerily around polished faux-stone and off the excercise equipment in the opposing shop ...then the signal on all 40 monitors locked and Rummies head ,Teeth Clenched in frozen mid-stresspoint, the air filled with the same endless vowel " UuUuUUuuUUUUuuUUuuUUU" that started to distort and waver and echo , the oddest combination of acoustics, Digital Video distortion, equipment failure and media perversion .Across my field of view , and I am riveted yet horrified , a truly ragged homeless man staggers by in a solvent stupor and bellows " Ahhhh, Shut the Fuck Up you Fuckin ASshole !!!!" And staggers on making spastic swatting motions with his hands....then at once , they killed the system and the tv's went black and silent with a 10000megawatt Bwowwwup!and everyone stood slightly less easy for a moment and then carried on rampant consumerism ...
I don't know how long it will be before I am normal again
SWR
I really keep trying to dislike Ali G, but he keeps pulling off some incredible carp.
I am trying to laugh while getting my jaw off the desk. Stunning.
SWR
I really keep trying to dislike Ali G, but he keeps pulling off some incredible carp.
I am trying to laugh while getting my jaw off the desk. Stunning.
SWR...that was a great vision you placed in my head about you wanting to capture and "investigate" Santa.
>Santa and Jesus and Bill O Reilly never were there for me. That's why I'm harboring a yule-tide terrorist at my house.
other topic. I wouldn't wish bad *seriously bad* stuff on anyone, but a few of our "givers of turkee" need to take their return trip home from Iraq in a pine box. I would prefer alive so that maybe they would rethink their policies and change.
SWR...that was a great vision you placed in my head about you wanting to capture and "investigate" Santa.
>Santa and Jesus and Bill O Reilly never were there for me. That's why I'm harboring a yule-tide terrorist at my house.
other topic. I wouldn't wish bad *seriously bad* stuff on anyone, but a few of our "givers of turkee" need to take their return trip home from Iraq in a pine box. I would prefer alive so that maybe they would rethink their policies and change.
And how did a perfectly good-spirited holiday celebrating giving to the poor become a huge commercial ordeal??
In Unitarian Sunday school in the 70s, we were never expected to believe in Santa or Jesus literally, but to learn about and appreciate the stories, along with stories from other equally decent traditions. Not to mention getting graceful, science-based information on where babies come from, in 2nd grade, in a age-appropriate way.
I'm not sure I ever believed in Santa Claus as a literally magic person. And I think by age 7 the commercialism of xmas troubled me.
And how did a perfectly good-spirited holiday celebrating giving to the poor become a huge commercial ordeal??
In Unitarian Sunday school in the 70s, we were never expected to believe in Santa or Jesus literally, but to learn about and appreciate the stories, along with stories from other equally decent traditions. Not to mention getting graceful, science-based information on where babies come from, in 2nd grade, in a age-appropriate way.
I'm not sure I ever believed in Santa Claus as a literally magic person. And I think by age 7 the commercialism of xmas troubled me.
In My Country There Is Problem
Jesus Christ.
Well, you have to kind of be familiar with the entire Borat oeuvre - he's a parody character, played by a Jewish guy.
There's another segment where he's "helping" some Republican candidate for Congress go door to door, bragging on how the guy has very large testicles and will "crush" his enemies, and laughing uproariously at the idea that American women are allowed to vote.
It *is* rather disturbing that the rednecks are all happily singing along to the "Throw the Jew down the well" song, though...
In My Country There Is Problem
Jesus Christ.
Well, you have to kind of be familiar with the entire Borat oeuvre - he's a parody character, played by a Jewish guy.
There's another segment where he's "helping" some Republican candidate for Congress go door to door, bragging on how the guy has very large testicles and will "crush" his enemies, and laughing uproariously at the idea that American women are allowed to vote.
It *is* rather disturbing that the rednecks are all happily singing along to the "Throw the Jew down the well" song, though...
er carp = crap
Unless it works for you as is.
er carp = crap
Unless it works for you as is.
Mmm... carp...
Mmm... carp...
Eli, as they say Carp the Day!
Eli, as they say Carp the Day!
There's another segment where he's "helping" some Republican candidate for Congress go door to door, bragging on how the guy has very large testicles and will "crush" his enemies, and laughing uproariously at the idea that American women are allowed to vote.
Just about to play it.
There's another segment where he's "helping" some Republican candidate for Congress go door to door, bragging on how the guy has very large testicles and will "crush" his enemies, and laughing uproariously at the idea that American women are allowed to vote.
Just about to play it.
Wait, am I mistaken on who that is in the video?
Wait, am I mistaken on who that is in the video?
Ah, now I see, I was mistaken. The video was a bit fuzzy.
LJ,
She ended up fucking around with this little rat bastard at work that was 10 years younger than her and married.... Kinda like her, except he didn't have 8 kids, (but she did.)
Praise the Lord.
Ah, now I see, I was mistaken. The video was a bit fuzzy.
LJ,
She ended up fucking around with this little rat bastard at work that was 10 years younger than her and married.... Kinda like her, except he didn't have 8 kids, (but she did.)
Praise the Lord.
Which is the party of the homosexuals?
Which is the party of the homosexuals?
She ended up fucking around with this little rat bastard at work that was 10 years younger than her and married.... Kinda like her, except he didn't have 8 kids, (but she did.)
Praise the Lord.
And pass the ammo--to the wife of the rat bastard.
She ended up fucking around with this little rat bastard at work that was 10 years younger than her and married.... Kinda like her, except he didn't have 8 kids, (but she did.)
Praise the Lord.
And pass the ammo--to the wife of the rat bastard.
Praise the Lord.
And pass the ammo--to the wife of the rat bastard.
Amen. The sanctimonious claptrap might be a *little* easier to take if they really *were* more virtuous than the rest of us. Give me someone who *is* virtuous over someone who *talks* virtuous any day.
Better yet, give me someone who's not *too* virtuous...
Praise the Lord.
And pass the ammo--to the wife of the rat bastard.
Amen. The sanctimonious claptrap might be a *little* easier to take if they really *were* more virtuous than the rest of us. Give me someone who *is* virtuous over someone who *talks* virtuous any day.
Better yet, give me someone who's not *too* virtuous...
*femme voice* pick me! I know!
*femme voice* pick me! I know!
...And pass the ammo-to the wife of the rat bastard.
Of course, when it all came out she forgave him. And his her.
I don't work in factories anymore.
(Obscure Joe Jackson reference.)
...And pass the ammo-to the wife of the rat bastard.
Of course, when it all came out she forgave him. And his her.
I don't work in factories anymore.
(Obscure Joe Jackson reference.)
Of course, when it all came out she forgave him. And his her.
Oh boy, doesn't that just make me feel warm & fuzzy all over. *So* glad there was a happy ending.
Of course, when it all came out she forgave him. And his her.
Oh boy, doesn't that just make me feel warm & fuzzy all over. *So* glad there was a happy ending.
Well, maybe Republicans don't like me...nevermind...again.
In fact, there is a concerted effort to "mesh" homosexual activism with the Republican Party now that the GOP is in control.
A new organization called the Republican Unity Coalition (RUC), is seeking to "make sexual orientation a non-issue in the Republican Party." In January, Rep. Tom Davis (R-VA), Chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee, gave the keynote address to a Republican Unity Coalition breakfast in Michigan. While there, Rep. Davis told the audience, "Getting more gays and lesbians to vote Republican should be easier...than getting people of color."
Well, maybe Republicans don't like me...nevermind...again.
In fact, there is a concerted effort to "mesh" homosexual activism with the Republican Party now that the GOP is in control.
A new organization called the Republican Unity Coalition (RUC), is seeking to "make sexual orientation a non-issue in the Republican Party." In January, Rep. Tom Davis (R-VA), Chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee, gave the keynote address to a Republican Unity Coalition breakfast in Michigan. While there, Rep. Davis told the audience, "Getting more gays and lesbians to vote Republican should be easier...than getting people of color."
Oh boy, doesn't that just make me feel warm & fuzzy all over. *So* glad there was a happy ending.
Nothing that a sixpack of miller high life and a fist full of valium won't cure...
Oh boy, doesn't that just make me feel warm & fuzzy all over. *So* glad there was a happy ending.
Nothing that a sixpack of miller high life and a fist full of valium won't cure...
Forgiveness? You mean they were stupid enough to get caught?
Now inquiring minds want to know... Did the dimwit learn any humility, or did she become even MORE fundie after it, to atone for her sin?
Forgiveness? You mean they were stupid enough to get caught?
Now inquiring minds want to know... Did the dimwit learn any humility, or did she become even MORE fundie after it, to atone for her sin?
You mean they were stupid enough to get caught?
Um, she didn't really sound like rocket-scientist material...
You mean they were stupid enough to get caught?
Um, she didn't really sound like rocket-scientist material...
Amen. The sanctimonious claptrap might be a *little* easier to take if they really *were* more virtuous than the rest of us. Give me someone who *is* virtuous over someone who *talks* virtuous any day.
Better yet, give me someone who's not *too* virtuous...
Give me someone who doesn't give a flying f about being virtuous (by whose standards?), but knows that we all have our failings and we just deal with them as best we can.
Amen. The sanctimonious claptrap might be a *little* easier to take if they really *were* more virtuous than the rest of us. Give me someone who *is* virtuous over someone who *talks* virtuous any day.
Better yet, give me someone who's not *too* virtuous...
Give me someone who doesn't give a flying f about being virtuous (by whose standards?), but knows that we all have our failings and we just deal with them as best we can.
My mother found out about Santa at a young age and didn't care, but several years later they told her there was no Easter Bunny, and she was distraught. I prefer the Easter Bunny myself. He's less judgmental, and doesn't smell musty like Santa.
My mother found out about Santa at a young age and didn't care, but several years later they told her there was no Easter Bunny, and she was distraught. I prefer the Easter Bunny myself. He's less judgmental, and doesn't smell musty like Santa.
I can't remember when I fully stopped believing, but I did reallly extend the last few years of my now 12-year-old's belief with "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." The first year she glazed over while having it read to her. The second year she thought "that again?" And by the third year, at about 10, she appreciated it. So we still speak of Santa in the "Yes, Virginia" kind of way.
But Santa was nuthin' compared to the mortality speech. I had carefully avoided placing any ideas in my first one's head about religion. This was my plan - let her grow up and find out for herself with no comment from the parents either way. But the first time a kitten or puppy dies, and they look at you with enormous blue eyes brimming with tears and ask "but where is my kitten" you'd better believe this smug liberal said "IN HEAVEN!" Not JUST Heaven, but any kind of heaven that kid imagines. Will there be cat food? Yes! Kitty toys! You betcha! Dogs (thinks quickly... kitten doesn't like dogs) No, dear, dogs are in dog heaven.
So much for smug convictions of objectivity. lol
I can't remember when I fully stopped believing, but I did reallly extend the last few years of my now 12-year-old's belief with "Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus." The first year she glazed over while having it read to her. The second year she thought "that again?" And by the third year, at about 10, she appreciated it. So we still speak of Santa in the "Yes, Virginia" kind of way.
But Santa was nuthin' compared to the mortality speech. I had carefully avoided placing any ideas in my first one's head about religion. This was my plan - let her grow up and find out for herself with no comment from the parents either way. But the first time a kitten or puppy dies, and they look at you with enormous blue eyes brimming with tears and ask "but where is my kitten" you'd better believe this smug liberal said "IN HEAVEN!" Not JUST Heaven, but any kind of heaven that kid imagines. Will there be cat food? Yes! Kitty toys! You betcha! Dogs (thinks quickly... kitten doesn't like dogs) No, dear, dogs are in dog heaven.
So much for smug convictions of objectivity. lol
It *is* rather disturbing that the rednecks are all happily singing along to the "Throw the Jew down the well" song, though...
Eli | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 2:07 am | #
They're strangely accepting of weird foreign guys playing them for laughs though.
It *is* rather disturbing that the rednecks are all happily singing along to the "Throw the Jew down the well" song, though...
Eli | Email | Homepage | 12.24.04 - 2:07 am | #
They're strangely accepting of weird foreign guys playing them for laughs though.
Give me someone who doesn't give a flying f about being virtuous (by whose standards?), but knows that we all have our failings and we just deal with them as best we can.
Well, I personally define virtuous pretty loosely, i.e., generally kind and compassionate and not prone to meanness or violence unless provoked. Most of the "moral" stuff I could give a rat's ass about.
Give me someone who doesn't give a flying f about being virtuous (by whose standards?), but knows that we all have our failings and we just deal with them as best we can.
Well, I personally define virtuous pretty loosely, i.e., generally kind and compassionate and not prone to meanness or violence unless provoked. Most of the "moral" stuff I could give a rat's ass about.
Um, she didn't really sound like rocket-scientist material...
Good point, Eli.
[sigh] What a bother it is being smart enough to cover up an affair. Not that I've done it lately.
I told Mr. LJ #1, who thought I was after everything that moved, that if I wanted to cheat on him, I would, and he wouldn't know anything about it unless I told him about it.
Weird thing is, I fulfilled that prophecy with Mr. LJ #2.
Um, she didn't really sound like rocket-scientist material...
Good point, Eli.
[sigh] What a bother it is being smart enough to cover up an affair. Not that I've done it lately.
I told Mr. LJ #1, who thought I was after everything that moved, that if I wanted to cheat on him, I would, and he wouldn't know anything about it unless I told him about it.
Weird thing is, I fulfilled that prophecy with Mr. LJ #2.
What a bother it is being smart enough to cover up an affair. Not that I've done it lately.
You'll be sure to let me know if you get the urge again, right?
What a bother it is being smart enough to cover up an affair. Not that I've done it lately.
You'll be sure to let me know if you get the urge again, right?
Eli--HONEY...
Are you propositioning me? 
Eli--HONEY...
Are you propositioning me?
Did the dimwit learn any humility, or did she become even MORE fundie after it, to atone for her sin?
She confessed to hubby because of the guilt.
And still, she kept it up, Fundie to the Hilt, for everyone to see. She used Amy Grant (being a hypocritical whore) as someone that was in the same position as her.
Did the dimwit learn any humility, or did she become even MORE fundie after it, to atone for her sin?
She confessed to hubby because of the guilt.
And still, she kept it up, Fundie to the Hilt, for everyone to see. She used Amy Grant (being a hypocritical whore) as someone that was in the same position as her.
Are you propositioning me?
I just like to keep abreast of current events.
Are you propositioning me?
I just like to keep abreast of current events.
Shrooms, X, Mini bake ovens, I still have all my teeth...
I'm off to re-group.
Shrooms, X, Mini bake ovens, I still have all my teeth...
I'm off to re-group.
Why doesn't that surprise me?
What a dim bulb. Telling the husband from a position of weakness tends to get you killed or beaten up.
Why doesn't that surprise me?
What a dim bulb. Telling the husband from a position of weakness tends to get you killed or beaten up.
I just like to keep abreast of current events.
Not gonna say it... Not gonna say it...
I just like to keep abreast of current events.
Not gonna say it... Not gonna say it...
Weird thing is, I fulfilled that prophecy with Mr. LJ #2.
Don't blame you.
If I might say, I do have an exceptional memory. (Remember?) It's a blessing and a curse. I can tell you the exact words that I used in a conversation 20 years ago, and yet I couldn't tell you what I had for dinner last night.
Who the hell are you?
Weird thing is, I fulfilled that prophecy with Mr. LJ #2.
Don't blame you.
If I might say, I do have an exceptional memory. (Remember?) It's a blessing and a curse. I can tell you the exact words that I used in a conversation 20 years ago, and yet I couldn't tell you what I had for dinner last night.
Who the hell are you?
Not entirely a joke.
Not entirely a joke.
I used to know pi out to three hundred decimal places. Not entirely sure *why*...
I used to know pi out to three hundred decimal places. Not entirely sure *why*...
Remember Eli, this earns you no money
(like many of my amazing and trivial skills) ha.
Remember Eli, this earns you no money
(like many of my amazing and trivial skills) ha.
Don't I know it. If I could get paid for trivia or movie quotes I would be a rich, rich man.
Don't I know it. If I could get paid for trivia or movie quotes I would be a rich, rich man.
I used to know pi out to three hundred decimal places. Not entirely sure *why*...
Yeah, now I know why I like you.
That and the Monty Python references....
I used to know pi out to three hundred decimal places. Not entirely sure *why*...
Yeah, now I know why I like you.
That and the Monty Python references....
But we are rich - in useless knowledge.
But we are rich - in useless knowledge.
Off to bed, peoples.
Harpy halidays!, and Maury krismus!
Off to bed, peoples.
Harpy halidays!, and Maury krismus!
Yeah, now I know why I like you.
Because I'm too geeky for my shirt, too geeky for my shirt, so geeky it hu-urts?
But we are rich - in useless knowledge.
True - and its exchange rate against the dollar should continue to improve!
Yeah, now I know why I like you.
Because I'm too geeky for my shirt, too geeky for my shirt, so geeky it hu-urts?
But we are rich - in useless knowledge.
True - and its exchange rate against the dollar should continue to improve!
Because I'm too geeky for my shirt, too geeky for my shirt, so geeky it hu-urts?
On the catwalk,
On the catwalk,
Yeah,
I do my geeky thang
on the catwalk....
Because I'm too geeky for my shirt, too geeky for my shirt, so geeky it hu-urts?
On the catwalk,
On the catwalk,
Yeah,
I do my geeky thang
on the catwalk....
Eli they're dropping like flies. I am off to the showers. All this once-a-year cleaning is killing me!
Happy Holidays.. to the 300th decimal.
Eli they're dropping like flies. I am off to the showers. All this once-a-year cleaning is killing me!
Happy Holidays.. to the 300th decimal.
Oh yeah, the chicks are gonna be *all over* us, boyee...
Oh yeah, the chicks are gonna be *all over* us, boyee...
oh don't despair.. I'm just that kind of chick married to someone who knows even MORE silly stuff than me! night!
oh don't despair.. I'm just that kind of chick married to someone who knows even MORE silly stuff than me! night!
I'm gonna have to call it a night soon, too - just as soon as I finish "Marvel 1602" (Magneto is the Grand Inquisitor!).
I'm gonna have to call it a night soon, too - just as soon as I finish "Marvel 1602" (Magneto is the Grand Inquisitor!).
Excellent. Geek chicks rock!
Excellent. Geek chicks rock!
Then just one more thing.You gotta read "Kavalier and Clay!" gone::::
Then just one more thing.You gotta read "Kavalier and Clay!" gone::::
I'm off, too.
CS...
I know what you mean about the memory. There are things that I can remember to the finest detail...and then I'll forget a husband's name. Which is what "honey" is for.
I'm off, too.
CS...
I know what you mean about the memory. There are things that I can remember to the finest detail...and then I'll forget a husband's name. Which is what "honey" is for.
Which is what "honey" is for.
I learned at a fairly young age not to us specific names, especially while having sex...
G'night honey.
Which is what "honey" is for.
I learned at a fairly young age not to us specific names, especially while having sex...
G'night honey.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Getting noisy outside. Family gathering for that Christmas Eve Barbecue.
(and don't ask about the purple teletubbie the Christian carollers were handing out last year. I don't know.)
Getting noisy outside. Family gathering for that Christmas Eve Barbecue.
(and don't ask about the purple teletubbie the Christian carollers were handing out last year. I don't know.)
Hey everyone,
When you are done blogging here, check out our new site http://www.progressivepioneers.org/. It is a forum for discussion where you can blog, poll, take action, and have a little fun. We need your help to grow. Visit us at http://www.progressivepioneers.org/, just click the link.
Love & Peace,
Austin
Hey everyone,
When you are done blogging here, check out our new site http://www.progressivepioneers.org/. It is a forum for discussion where you can blog, poll, take action, and have a little fun. We need your help to grow. Visit us at http://www.progressivepioneers.org/, just click the link.
Love & Peace,
Austin
Gotta tiptoe off without contributing anything--just want to say Happy Christmas Eve to all.
Gotta tiptoe off without contributing anything--just want to say Happy Christmas Eve to all.
my favorite is the grinch who stole xmas and I wish he would steal it for real.
my favorite is the grinch who stole xmas and I wish he would steal it for real.
Merry Christmas from Europe!
Merry Christmas from Europe!
I like Christmas. I like the music, the decorations, the feast, the gift-giving ... but not the pressure and the guilt trip by the "holier than thou".
I like Hallowe'en better; the music, the feast, the decorations, the gift-giving ... no pressure and no guilt.
I like Christmas. I like the music, the decorations, the feast, the gift-giving ... but not the pressure and the guilt trip by the "holier than thou".
I like Hallowe'en better; the music, the feast, the decorations, the gift-giving ... no pressure and no guilt.
Yeah, I like xmas too. The joy of trying to get near a store just to buy pet food for the little creatures that live with me, the cheer of trying to avoid the drunks on the road, the happiness of buying useless presents and receiving useless presents. Getting together with family members you can't stand on a good day never mind on a stressful holiday where you had better be happy "or else". Yeah, I love racking up my credit card and cooking cleaning the house, and finding enough chairs and putting on a happy face for everybody. Christmas is Fucking Wonderful.
Yeah, I like xmas too. The joy of trying to get near a store just to buy pet food for the little creatures that live with me, the cheer of trying to avoid the drunks on the road, the happiness of buying useless presents and receiving useless presents. Getting together with family members you can't stand on a good day never mind on a stressful holiday where you had better be happy "or else". Yeah, I love racking up my credit card and cooking cleaning the house, and finding enough chairs and putting on a happy face for everybody. Christmas is Fucking Wonderful.
Anyone see Rummy's lengthy comments on CNN? I'm not that sharp, so maybe someone can help me. Is Rummy a moonbat Kool-Aid drinker, or does he just know when to set aside the Machiavellian-ism when it doesn't fit the audience?
For those that didn't see it, the shorter Rummy: Afgahnistan is great, Iraq isn't that bad, stop-loss is good 'cause it keeps units together, and if you don't believe it, it's 'cause of the mean liberal media.
Anyone see Rummy's lengthy comments on CNN? I'm not that sharp, so maybe someone can help me. Is Rummy a moonbat Kool-Aid drinker, or does he just know when to set aside the Machiavellian-ism when it doesn't fit the audience?
For those that didn't see it, the shorter Rummy: Afgahnistan is great, Iraq isn't that bad, stop-loss is good 'cause it keeps units together, and if you don't believe it, it's 'cause of the mean liberal media.
My 9 year old son, being the type that likes to nail things down intellectually, as well as enjoy the exquisite feeling of busting someone and rubbing their noses in it, went to amazing lengths at Christmas last year.
He actually hid behind a love seat in a corner for HOURS in chance that someone not Santa might appear to put gifts under the tree.
This amazed me for three reasons. A. He actually decided to do it, which is the least amazing, B. He waited for several hours, and C. He stayed AWAKE for the entire time.
His Mom, unsuspecting, came out to do the Santa thing and about midway through, was almost scared into a pre-mature death by having our son suddenly pop up out of nowhere with a loud "AHA!!!".
After her heart slowly settled back into her chest, she and my son spent quite a while laughing about the whole thing.
The curious thing is, he's still going over the "Santa's not real" thing with me this year, as if he's not really sure.
I still argue with him, though with a wry smile on my face, saying that he DOES exist, if you believe in him.
Evidently, he had no crisis of faith over busting his Mom, or at least it was completely overshadowed by his glee in making fools out of us grown ups.
I just loved all the stories above. Thanks for them all...especially the Audabon/Santa theory.... priceless!
My 9 year old son, being the type that likes to nail things down intellectually, as well as enjoy the exquisite feeling of busting someone and rubbing their noses in it, went to amazing lengths at Christmas last year.
He actually hid behind a love seat in a corner for HOURS in chance that someone not Santa might appear to put gifts under the tree.
This amazed me for three reasons. A. He actually decided to do it, which is the least amazing, B. He waited for several hours, and C. He stayed AWAKE for the entire time.
His Mom, unsuspecting, came out to do the Santa thing and about midway through, was almost scared into a pre-mature death by having our son suddenly pop up out of nowhere with a loud "AHA!!!".
After her heart slowly settled back into her chest, she and my son spent quite a while laughing about the whole thing.
The curious thing is, he's still going over the "Santa's not real" thing with me this year, as if he's not really sure.
I still argue with him, though with a wry smile on my face, saying that he DOES exist, if you believe in him.
Evidently, he had no crisis of faith over busting his Mom, or at least it was completely overshadowed by his glee in making fools out of us grown ups.
I just loved all the stories above. Thanks for them all...especially the Audabon/Santa theory.... priceless!
no, i didn't see it, but I try not to watch asshats on tv I see enuff of them in real life.
no, i didn't see it, but I try not to watch asshats on tv I see enuff of them in real life.
Well, I just ignore the people trying to guilt-trip me, and ignore those who try to pressure me.
So I wind up liking Christmas a lot.
socs, sounds like you're in competition with someone. Are others really all that dependent upon you for their happiness? Would they be happy with a little less (servitude and sacrifice) from you, if it helped you to be genuinely happy?
Well, I just ignore the people trying to guilt-trip me, and ignore those who try to pressure me.
So I wind up liking Christmas a lot.
socs, sounds like you're in competition with someone. Are others really all that dependent upon you for their happiness? Would they be happy with a little less (servitude and sacrifice) from you, if it helped you to be genuinely happy?
Spec. Ed. I do try to be happy, but why just this time of year? Why not try and do all the things the season is supposed to stand for all year around? why cram it into two days and put pressure on people?
Spec. Ed. I do try to be happy, but why just this time of year? Why not try and do all the things the season is supposed to stand for all year around? why cram it into two days and put pressure on people?
Also, not to mention all the consumerism, and commercialism and poor people. What are the people who make min wage, and work two jobs thinking when they see a macy's commercial?
Also, not to mention all the consumerism, and commercialism and poor people. What are the people who make min wage, and work two jobs thinking when they see a macy's commercial?
That reminds me of my clubbing back in the day. God how I used to love to dance.
That reminds me of my clubbing back in the day. God how I used to love to dance.
anyone ever hear the parody of the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas?" This one is called "The Twelve Pains of Christmas" Quite funny. I'll get the lyrics if anyone is interested.
anyone ever hear the parody of the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas?" This one is called "The Twelve Pains of Christmas" Quite funny. I'll get the lyrics if anyone is interested.
Wasn't ever much on dancin'. But I'll play bluegrass with friends (or not friends) until my fingers bleed and cramp.
Not many clubs for that around. That's why we do festivals in the summertime.
Wasn't ever much on dancin'. But I'll play bluegrass with friends (or not friends) until my fingers bleed and cramp.
Not many clubs for that around. That's why we do festivals in the summertime.
Xmas was never a big deal to us, but we put on a show for the kids. Now that they are on their own, I do absolutely nothing. Maybe next year I will send out cards to people I want to stay in touch with but don't see too often. Being old hippies we never got into the consumer thing and we don't even exchange presents with each other. After 34 years of marriage, you just run out of ideas of what to get. We honestly don't need anything, and there is no point in buying something just for the sake of spending.
Now if I ever have grandchildren, I will probably start the madness again.
Xmas was never a big deal to us, but we put on a show for the kids. Now that they are on their own, I do absolutely nothing. Maybe next year I will send out cards to people I want to stay in touch with but don't see too often. Being old hippies we never got into the consumer thing and we don't even exchange presents with each other. After 34 years of marriage, you just run out of ideas of what to get. We honestly don't need anything, and there is no point in buying something just for the sake of spending.
Now if I ever have grandchildren, I will probably start the madness again.
Jeez, a man who makes music you just gotta love those ones. Your wife is so lucky. Tell her that. I would. I'm a trained pianist. Won all sorts of awards and could have been great but then got into drugs and other things after high school. I would probably be dead right now had I not gone into the military.
Jeez, a man who makes music you just gotta love those ones. Your wife is so lucky. Tell her that. I would. I'm a trained pianist. Won all sorts of awards and could have been great but then got into drugs and other things after high school. I would probably be dead right now had I not gone into the military.
I loved playing the piano growing up but I didn't want any of my friends to know or they would have certainly called me a sissy or a pantywaist.
I loved playing the piano growing up but I didn't want any of my friends to know or they would have certainly called me a sissy or a pantywaist.
QuiltLady--no such thing as an "old" hippie.
QuiltLady--no such thing as an "old" hippie.
Hippies don't get old, just more idealistic.
Hippies don't get old, just more idealistic.
Barndog
I'd like to hear that. Sounds like a good time, with a big pitcher of beer on a hot summer's day. My husband and I used to go the German beer festival and listen to the umpah bands. nice times.
Barndog
I'd like to hear that. Sounds like a good time, with a big pitcher of beer on a hot summer's day. My husband and I used to go the German beer festival and listen to the umpah bands. nice times.
Christmas is just for kids. I've got my neice and newphew gift certificates which are like little credit cards these days.
Christmas is just for kids. I've got my neice and newphew gift certificates which are like little credit cards these days.
wish i could play the piano (sigh)
wish i could play the piano (sigh)
its not just for kids, my cats got catnip and the dog got snausages.
its not just for kids, my cats got catnip and the dog got snausages.
Thanks socs and I thing you're right. Within one year of the daughter no 2 going off to college, we sold the house in the burbs and moved back to city. I have long believed that people don't basically change. Every time someone tells me they are turning over a new leaf, I place a bet with myself as to how long it will last.
Same thing with shrub. Once an asshole, always an asshole.
Incog - how you doing today? You have seemed a bit off the last couple of days.
Thanks socs and I thing you're right. Within one year of the daughter no 2 going off to college, we sold the house in the burbs and moved back to city. I have long believed that people don't basically change. Every time someone tells me they are turning over a new leaf, I place a bet with myself as to how long it will last.
Same thing with shrub. Once an asshole, always an asshole.
Incog - how you doing today? You have seemed a bit off the last couple of days.
well, my husband is draggin me off to torture me at the gym, so we can stay healthy and not miss any work time, and make the rich richer, and so on--happy holidays, er, Merry Xmas, er, Happy Hannukah(sp?) ER, Quanza? Whatever, Enjoy the day. Peace.
well, my husband is draggin me off to torture me at the gym, so we can stay healthy and not miss any work time, and make the rich richer, and so on--happy holidays, er, Merry Xmas, er, Happy Hannukah(sp?) ER, Quanza? Whatever, Enjoy the day. Peace.
wish i could play the piano (sigh)
socs
I took lessons from the time my feet couldn't touch the floor from the piano bench until I finished high school and was in numerous concerts winning all sorts of awards in my region and then one day I told my, I'm not going to do it anymore. I guess it was because I was gay and didn't want the comments anymore. I can still read and play any music you put in front of me. It's something you never forget if you're taught as a child.
wish i could play the piano (sigh)
socs
I took lessons from the time my feet couldn't touch the floor from the piano bench until I finished high school and was in numerous concerts winning all sorts of awards in my region and then one day I told my, I'm not going to do it anymore. I guess it was because I was gay and didn't want the comments anymore. I can still read and play any music you put in front of me. It's something you never forget if you're taught as a child.
that is: I told my mom
that is: I told my mom
I started getting suspicious when I was 6. I stopped believing when I was 7, though I pretended to for a couple more years (I think my folks saw through the act).
Speaking of Santa, did ya see he visited the troops today [blogwhore]?
I started getting suspicious when I was 6. I stopped believing when I was 7, though I pretended to for a couple more years (I think my folks saw through the act).
Speaking of Santa, did ya see he visited the troops today [blogwhore]?
Incog - how you doing today? You have seemed a bit off the last couple of days.
QuiltLady in NY
ha ha I'm fine but probably just been goofing too much here.
Incog - how you doing today? You have seemed a bit off the last couple of days.
QuiltLady in NY
ha ha I'm fine but probably just been goofing too much here.
From the age of two my older daughter wanted to perform in musical theatre. She belonged to a theatre workshop and performed from the age of seven through seventeen. We spend thousands of dollars on voice lessons, to say nothing of the time and effort of getting to those lessons, rehearsals, and performance dates.
Age 17, and she decided that was enough of that. Who knows why, but it is very common for adolescents to throw over childhood ambitions.
From the age of two my older daughter wanted to perform in musical theatre. She belonged to a theatre workshop and performed from the age of seven through seventeen. We spend thousands of dollars on voice lessons, to say nothing of the time and effort of getting to those lessons, rehearsals, and performance dates.
Age 17, and she decided that was enough of that. Who knows why, but it is very common for adolescents to throw over childhood ambitions.
Ya'll need to just lighten up some, you're all just so dang gloomy.
Ya'll need to just lighten up some, you're all just so dang gloomy.
"...Won all sorts of awards and could have been great but then got into drugs and other things after high school. I would probably be dead right now had I not gone into the military. ΤΏΤ"
No shit. That sounds familiar. Pity the many thousands who will come back to the same scenario, to a much greater degree, no health care available.
"...Won all sorts of awards and could have been great but then got into drugs and other things after high school. I would probably be dead right now had I not gone into the military. ΤΏΤ"
No shit. That sounds familiar. Pity the many thousands who will come back to the same scenario, to a much greater degree, no health care available.
My entire early life, I had to hide the fact from my friends I was in all these piano clubs and was studying piano. It gets to be too much.
My entire early life, I had to hide the fact from my friends I was in all these piano clubs and was studying piano. It gets to be too much.
No shit. That sounds familiar. Pity the many thousands who will come back to the same scenario, to a much greater degree, no health care available.
Xpat (just changed the stealth
Yeah, I caught the irony in it while I wrote that. But try to lighten up will ya? Goddamn I can't take it anymore.
No shit. That sounds familiar. Pity the many thousands who will come back to the same scenario, to a much greater degree, no health care available.
Xpat (just changed the stealth
Yeah, I caught the irony in it while I wrote that. But try to lighten up will ya? Goddamn I can't take it anymore.
Apparently, ya'll don't understand. You can't be a small boy mixing it up out there in this extemely homophobic society playing the piano. You will face every minute of your early years in torment from your peers. I did it and know.