I'MMA LET YOU FINISH
No, it's me!!!
.
there are so many stupid people out there that I'm astounded that the place functions at all.
And there's such strong competition today.
Now I wish I'd have had money to buy the Stewart book, dammit. Anyone wanna fill me in on the yoke?
.
I *demand* that you shoot me now!
I *demand* that you shoot me now!
"Not again..."
Eli: I *demand* that you shoot me now!
Wabbit season!
Duck season!
etc.
.
Dunno about THE stupidest, but definitely, definitely a contender. Seriously take-your-breath away stupid.
The cartoon in the book has three quotes:
Liberals want to tie the hands of industry with more environmental legislation.
Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax?
Oops! I forgot to tell a joke!
Tinsley
waddafuckinduckwittedtwit
.
Pronoun trouble...
Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax?
Oh, just for shits and giggles.
reino -- Thanks. Maybe it'll be freed up at my local branch of the library someday. If I can still afford the gas to get there. 
My date with the Aldi club sammiches has been postponed about as long as it can be, so I'm takin' my furilla, and goin' home. I'll be back later, after the landlord goes off to do his gig, tonight. And, I'll bring the beer.
.
OT. But what a coincidence this is.
On another matter, two of Bush's nominees to the D.C. Circuit are poised to have significant impact on a pair of cases involving challenges to the U.S. military's detention of foreign nationals at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Janice Rogers Brown and Thomas B. Griffith, both just placed on the bench last month, were picked at random to sit on a three-judge panel that will hear the cases this fall.
Hmmm.
Oops! I forgot to tell a joke!
reino
That strip may've been the first sign of the decline and fall of the MSM.
How does something so completely UN-funny continue to get published year after year.
Unless its being published as outright propaganda and not 'humor' at all.
Eli: I *demand* that you shoot me now!
Wabbit season!
Duck season!
etc.
.
Jeffraham Prestonian | Email | Homepage | 07.09.05 - 2:58 pm
Pwease, Mister Game Wawden....
Dunno about Stupidest (although certainly in the top, or bottom, 100), but a finalist in the Unfunniest. I understand he makes his living as a humorist of some sort...?
One thing is for sure, Mallard Fillmore is the dumbest comic strip out there.
pie, that link goes to a story about Paula Jones' upcoming visit to the Clinton Library.
Not that it's not an interesting story. I hope Paula makes enough money to afford a new double-wide.
Mallard Fillmore sucks ass! ACK!!
Whizz! And the point goes by his head...again.
that link goes to a story about Paula Jones' upcoming visit to the Clinton Library.
Whoops.
Here.
Balance, gentles all, balance.
If I say today is Saturday, someone from the American Enterprise Institute has to be rousted out of bed and made to deliver a quote that
a.) today is Wednesday, and
b.) Hayek -- Friedrich, not Salma -- discredited the idea that today is Saturday decades ago.
Otherwise you don't have a free press.
In Bush's America, it is important to distinguish between free speech and wrong speech.
&%#!&$!
Here!
Pie = fail.
No, pie = yummy.
Cornbread are square.
.
Sandals, if at first you don't succeed, dear...
GAH! My eyes! My eyes!
Mallard Fillmore is, without doubt, the number 2 worst comic strip in America. (Number 1 is Family Circus.)
I friend of mine who edits a local newspaper says he feels "coerced" to run M.F. I said that was interesting, considering what a big Bush supporter/conservative my friend is. "Yeah," he said. But Mallard Fillmore is just embarrassingly stupid."
And they drive cars...probably why 40,000 die every year on the road.
New York Times Suggests Bisexuals Are "Lying"
Paper fails to disclose study author's controversial history
7/8/05
In a lead article in the New York Times' July 5 Science section, headlined, "Straight, Gay or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited," Times writer Benedict Carey reported that an upcoming study "casts doubt on whether true bisexuality exists, at least in men." In suggesting that men who claim a bisexual sexual orientation are liars, the Times relies heavily on a single study whose senior researcher has a career marked by ethics controversies and eugenics proposals--facts that were not presented to readers.
According to the Times, the study "lends support to those who have long been skeptical that bisexuality is a distinct and stable sexual orientation. People who claim bisexuality, according to these critics, are usually homosexual, but are ambivalent about their homosexuality or simply closeted. 'You're either gay, straight or lying,' as some gay men have put it."
In leaping to dramatic conclusions from a single study with a small population, Carey echoes the study's authors, who seem equally eager to generalize from scant evidence--and to confuse the study's assumptions with its conclusions. Carey quotes the study's senior author, J. Michael Bailey of Northwestern University, who acknowledges that bisexual behavior exists, but argues that "in men there's no hint that true bisexual arousal exists, and that for men arousal is orientation."
But that arousal equals orientation seems to be assumed, not proven. The study measured men's self-identified orientation against their physical arousal while watching various kinds of pornography; bisexual men's self-identified orientation did not correspond with their physical arousal, according to the study, with some being aroused much more by on-screen men and a smaller group responding much more to on-screen women.
+++++++++++++++++++++++MORE+++++++++++++++
From FAIR...
I don't know, he's got a lot of competition.
Unfunniest cartoonist of all time? For sure, Bruce Tinsley.
In Bush's America, it is important to distinguish between free speech and wrong speech.
Davis X. Machina | Email | Homepage | 07.09.05 - 3:11 pm
Sometimes I think I'd be happy if I could just get him to use real words.
"Mallard Fillmore is, without doubt, the number 2 worst comic strip in America. (Number 1 is Family Circus.)"
You might enjoy this Family Circus though:
http://img.photobucket.com/album...en/
d5a24724.gif
Oh, and it must be said:
DA BLAB SMZ.
I friend of mine who edits a local newspaper says he feels "coerced" to run M.F. I said that was interesting, considering what a big Bush supporter/conservative my friend is. "Yeah," he said. But Mallard Fillmore is just embarrassingly stupid."
so Bruce Tinsley earns his living due to affirmative action for conservatives.
How about them apples.
Scientists have discovered that there is a high correlation between possessing the right-wing gene and lacking the sense-of-humor gene.
Mallard Fillmore is nuckin' futs, people!
I mean, what's up with this fucking duck? Like, how many fucking cartoon ducks do we need?
Hey, Tinsley may be the stupidest many alive, but Tommy Franks said I am the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the earth.
So there.
I'm losing count over the number of stupid people you know!
(sitting outside as I type this)
other conservatives who earn their daily bread thanks to affirmative action:
Colin Quinn - oops! show got cancelled! Could it be cuz he's not funny? Nah. Must be the vast-left-wing-conspiracy's fault.
Dennis Miller - oops! show got cancelled! Could it be cuz he's not funny? Nah. Must be the vast-left-wing-conspiracy's fault. Oh, wait - he was on MSNBC. Oh well. Blame it on Michael Moore or Dan Rather or Ward Churchill anyway. It's all good.
any others?
speaking of stupid people:
"Meanwhile, Holmes' fiance, a retiring fellow by the name of Tom Cruise, has also been the subject of a recent Internet petition. Close to 14,500 people added their signatures to a War of the Worlds/Tom Cruise Boycott addressed to Steven Spielberg.
"Dear Mr. Spielberg," the petition begins.
"We, the undersigned, wish to inform you that we are compelled to boycott your movie War of the Worlds. Our decision is based solely on the abhorrent behavior of Mr. Tom Cruise. We will not be spending our good money to support the ridiculous and potentially dangerous antics of this raving narcissist. Mr. Cruise's actions and comments have been offensive and insulting when not downright laughable."
It's unclear whether the petition, started before the release of War of the Worlds, did anything to put a damper on the film's box office receipts. The film easily topped the box office over the holiday weekend, grossing $77.1 million from Friday to Monday."
The cartoon in the book has three quotes:
Liberals want to tie the hands of industry with more environmental legislation.
'Cause breathing is so Early 19th Century.
Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax?
You're right. Let's punish 'em with deteriorating infrastructure, no purity standards for air, water and food, lack of police and fire protection, and no legal system. That'll show 'em.
Oops! I forgot to tell a joke!
reino | Email | 07.09.05 - 3:00 pm
How would he know? As far as I can tell, he's never been exposed to one.
How does something so completely UN-funny continue to get published year after year.
Family Circus manages it too, but that's a good question
It's not just political slant. BC is pretty right-wing but you don't get the "why am I passing my eyes over this?" disgust that you do every damn time with the forementioned strips.
Actually, I enjoy Mallard Fillmore. Smart, edgy, and quite funny, in a Kierkegaard-meets-Three-Stooges kinda way, as interpreted by Dali.
he is rather stupid.
Free Republic should change its name to Stupid Republic!
watertiger -- I admit that I've just been chuckling over the whole silly affair. Cruise is a pretty-boy actor. Period. Not even a bad one -- I liked War of the Worlds and Minority Report just fine, and even thought he did okay as Lestat. But as a spokesman for Scientology, or an advocate of holistic health, or a critic of modern psychiatry, or an expert on pre-natal care, he's a creditable pretty-boy actor.
Dumb shit broke up with Nicole Kidman, fer cryin' out loud.
Actually, I enjoy Mallard Fillmore. Smart, edgy, and quite funny, in a Kierkegaard-meets-Three-Stooges kinda way, as interpreted by Dali.
Dennis Miller
<dennis miller fan>
uhhhhhhhhhh.... uhhhhhhh....
*crickets chirping*
hey, tell us another Hitler-y joke!
</dennis miller fan>
Lessee, Dennis Miller lost his sense of humor when he went from centrist to right wing.
Bob Hope lost his sense of humor when he went from centrist to right wing.
Jackie Mason lost his sense of humor when he went from centrist to right wing.
Any others?
sounds like Stewart really got under Tinsley's skin.
a) professional envy - Stewart's famous, successful, and funny. Three things Tinsley will never be.
b) the parody cartoon totally nails every MF strip. People usually are at their most defensive when the truth hits too close to home.
So Tinsley calls him a pedophile. Yeah that's really funny. Way to show your sense of humor, Bruce.
(I knew a Bruce Tinsley in HS. I am pretty sure it's not the same guy... I hope! Then again the BT I knew WAS a huge prick...)
Dennis Miller lost his sense of humor when he went from centrist to right wing.
Dennis Miller
Ron Silver
James Woods
Known collectively as Hollywood's "September 12th Conservatives."
What do they have in common (besides terminable stupidity)?
Fading careers, perhaps?
Haloscan is acting like I don't exist - I keep typing comments, hitting publish, and - nada.
For over an hour -
Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax?
Why must we punish our most productive citizens by asking that they pay for the infrastructure that enables them to make money in the first place?
Because we support freeloading, that's why! As long as the RICH are freeloading, it's a good thing!
Yup, this guy is too fucking stupid to be allowed to continue to live.
Well, you're here now, Tena. How you doin' otherwise?
Haloscan does seem slightly messed up. There were a few weird problems with the gravatars early in this thread's lifetime.
Finally.
Mallard Fillmore is the lamest comic strip I've ever seen.
James Woods made a really good independent film a couple of years ago. It's called Northfork. I found it haunting.
I was waiting for somebody to blog on this. Tinsley admits that his own readers aren't smart enough to recognize a parody when they see it - in a book that contains naked Supreme Court paper dolls - but also that he can't be bothered to check the book's credits and see that the parody was an original drawing, not a cut-and-paste job. Then he equivocates "putting words in his mouth" with implying Jon Stewart is a pedophile. How can someone with so little understanding of wit and parody and who is so incredibly sensitive to criticism be allowed to draw a nationally-syndicated comic strip? He should be glad that America: The Book gave him the exposure, the way that bands like Nirvana knew that had made it when Weird Al did a parody of their song.
When he was on the air, I honestly didn't know what Johnny Carson's political beliefs were. Yes, his jabs at Nixon became more vicious as Watergate became darker and darker, but aside from that era, he was pretty much an equal opportunity targeter.
However, it didn't surprise me that in retirement he gradually revealed himself as a lib.
"So Tinsley calls him a pedophile."
Yeah, and he gave him a big, hooked Jewish nose, too!
COMEDY GOLD!
If you emailed me about a tarot reading a few days ago, you should have e-mail. If not, it means I missed someone, so please send me another e-mail and I'll catch anyone I missed.
Live From Baghdad!
Notice, also, the hook-nose that Tinsley draws on Stewart in that last panel. So, in addition to being:
a right-wing hack
the author of the stupidest, least-funny comic strip in America
tremendously thin-skinned
unable to recognize satire
Bruce Tinsley is apparently also anti-Semitic.
Live From Baghdad!
It's Propaganda Week Live (streaming audio available)...
Don't accuse Tinsley of being anti-Semetic. He's always running strips about us over-sensitive liberals. But accusing someone of being not funny - well, that's crossing the line. Damn you, Jon Stewart!
And I love how one of the panels makes a Dan Rather/Memogate reference. Par for the course for a guy who thinks that jokes about hippies at Berkeley are still timely.
My email to Tinsley (mallardmail@yahoo.com):
Subject: Ha, ha, ha! John Stewart's a child molester
Oops, guess you forgot to tell another joke again, huh? Oh well, at least you DIDN'T forget to give him a really hooked nose!
Sincerely,
Dave from Texas
When he was on the air, I honestly didn't know what Johnny Carson's political beliefs were. Yes, his jabs at Nixon became more vicious as Watergate became darker and darker, but aside from that era, he was pretty much an equal opportunity targeter.
However, it didn't surprise me that in retirement he gradually revealed himself as a lib.
monchie b. monchum | 07.09.05 - 3:41 pm
I call a new axiom, easily demonstrable: The smarter and funnier you are, the more liberal you are.
Hello all!
Jeez louise, this lameass "comic" is still being published? I remember first seeing it around 1995 and thinking it wasn't funny then. Tinsley must be mining previously unknown veins of anti-funny by now to keep it going.
And yes, the "America: The Book" parody is 'way funnier than the real thing ever was.
"Oops! I forgot to tell a joke!"
that Tisely idiot seems to have had a humour by pass
You can dish it out mofo but you can't take it yourself..
Bruce Tinsley is apparently also anti-Semitic.
-That's- Jon Stewart? Wow. I thought it was Sam Jaffe and couldn't figure the connexion.
Arlene, Bret, Cindy and now Dennis. Storm hunters don't expect to be hunched over their radar screens and dispatching chase aircraft until Labor Day. But 2005 is no normal year.
Martin Nelson, the lead forecaster at the National Hurricane Center in Miami, says this is the first time the Atlantic hurricane season had four named storms this early since record-keeping began in 1851. The season runs from June 1 to Nov. 30.
But....but....but....global warming doesn't exist!
Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax?
Why do people consider giving back to the country that enabled them to succeed a punishment? Why in the hell aren't they glad to be able to give back some of all that they've been able to make?
Do you have any idea how unutterably selfish and self-involved such a question is?
Um--is that supposed to be a caricature of Stewart?
"Hey! Look! It looks like Mort Drucker! It must be a caricature of somebody!"
Honestly, my first reaction was "What's Pierre Trudeau doing in this strip?"
Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax?
Why do people consider giving back to the country that enabled them to succeed a punishment? Why in the hell aren't they glad to be able to give back some of all that they've been able to make?
Do you have any idea how unutterably selfish and self-involved such a question is?
Tena
He doesn't.
"Bruce Tinsley is apparently also anti-Semitic."
Naw, he just likes ta draw Jews with big, honking, Jew noses.
It's a proud comedic tradition.
Hecate - thank you for the herbs, btw.
"Bruce Tinsley is apparently also anti-Semitic."
Naw, he just likes ta draw Jews with big, honking, Jew noses.
It's a proud comedic tradition.
seaguy
Idiot.
GWPDA,
Glad you're enjoying them. Hope to be able to harvest some tarragon soon!
rorschach - I thought conservatives were supposed to be the ones who love this country so very much. Yet, they don't want to support it with anything but magnetic ribbons and lip service.
filkertom - I'm fine. I'm still tired from the fourth and having company. All my neighbors' kids and grandkids left today - it's so quiet out here now I keep threatening to lie down on the couch and go back to sleep.
Just finished the monster quilt.
Here's the back.
Here's the front.
Hmmmph! I like the back better.
Two obvious rejoinders to "Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax?":
1) Why must we punish our middlingly productive citizens with an income tax? Why should we punish our citizens strugglling like hell to get by with an income tax?
or
2) Good point! Let's replace it with a huge tax on capital gains, dividends and inherited estates!
QL,
They're both gorgeous!
Why must we punish our most productive citizens with an income tax?
You mean like Kenney Boy? Bernie Ebbers? Georgie "Arbusto" Bush? Squooshy Scrushy?
He's right, income tax doesn't seem like an appropriate punishment.
rorschach - I thought conservatives were supposed to be the ones who love this country so very much. Yet, they don't want to support it with anything but magnetic ribbons and lip service.
Nah ya didn't. That conservatives are sunshine patriots has been evident for a few years now, at least...
QL in NY ~ that is a very mighty quilt!
The wind destroyed my basil, and my rosemary got too cold, I think. At any rate, it's dead, too.
I'm down to thyme, chives and parsley.
QL in NY, both sides, very nice. Your husband was right.
By the way, the back looks like a front too, so maybe you should call it reversible.
my mother grows fresh mint in her garden.
She is also growing tomatoes and runner beans.
I was walking down the street and some nice person yelled out their window - "Hey Atrios! I just hit the jack!" (I think that's what he said)
anyway, if that was "jackpot" congratulations. If that was "jack daniels" then congratulations as well.
ah, fame.
Afternoon, all.
Actually, the stupidest people
alive are the people who think
that Mallard Fillmore is remotely
funny.
I thought conservatives were supposed to be the ones who love this country so very much
hey, you'd love it that much too if someone else was paying for it and fighting for it and dying for it. and all you have to do is reap the benefits.
our most productive citizens needn't be punished by income tax or enlistment. i mean hey, they are creating those minimum wage jobs, and they sure are good at creating soldierin' jobs, too.
QL -- oooooh. Pretty! Very nice work, on both sides.
Tena -- do it. Take the nap. It's the weekend. You are allowed.
Hey, pbg!
Ok, y'all are going to have to explain DA BLAB SMZ to me.
QL - Both sides are beautiful, but the log cabin pattern is my fave, so I like the front best.
Atrios ~ don't let the fame go to your head or make you join the Scientology cult.
I was walking down the street and some nice person yelled out their window - "Hey Atrios! I just hit the jack!" (I think that's what he said)
anyway, if that was "jackpot" congratulations. If that was "jack daniels" then congratulations as well.
ah, fame.
Atrios
Funny man.
For the love of God, people, help me!
Get me out of this Godforsaken, unfunny comic strip! Can't the animals rights people do anything?? Even Flipper didn't have to do the shit I have to do!
Do you know what it's like to be forced to "say" that stupid, inane drivel that asshole thinks up every day?
Plus, he molests me! Really! He's a duck-molester!
Please, help me! Get me outta here!
Quack!
"Hey Atrios! I just hit the jack!" (I think that's what he said)
maybe he said 'jerk'. o'rielly look like he's just been run over?
filkertom - Oh I will take the nap soon. What's stopping me is that haloscan finally acknowledges my existence and is letting me post, after ignoring me for over and hour, and my book is upstairs.
I'm too lazy to go get the book right this minute and I can't lie down without it.
Schuyler, the naked judges were the first thing I thought of, too, wondering if Tinsley would claim those were intended to trick people.
Tinsley is incredibly self serving. One of his "Mallentines" this year was a plea for readers to harrass editors to keep his comic. The Boston Globe ombudsman said the paper was overrun with letters asking that the comic be dropped. Unfortunately, it wasn't.
OL - Lovely quilt, but how are you going to get that big black blotty thing from the corner of it?
ah, fame.
Atrios
Uh oh, when people start recognizing you on the street, Punditry Corridor can't be far away. Oh well, we can always say we knew you when.
Mallard Fillmore | 07.09.05 - 4:11 pm
This post was funnier than the entire run of the strip to date.
Hey QL in NY:
Very impressive quilt.
Nice cat, too!!!!
will atrios have a biopic made about him?
or sign a 5 figure book deal?
the world awaits!
I was walking down the street and some nice person yelled out their window - "Hey Atrios! I just hit the jack!" (I think that's what he said)
perhaps he said "I just hit the jerk," meaning he decked his thick-headed conservative brother-in-law or something.
Or maybe he counts (in)famous people he spots on the street...
ah, fame.
Atrios
Uh oh, when people start recognizing you on the street, Punditry Corridor can't be far away. Oh well, we can always say we knew you when.
QL in NY | 07.09.05 - 4:14 pm
"Yeah, you used to be good, man...." [/Bobcat Goldthwait]
the higher they rise the harder they fall!
Thanks all.
blotty thing from the corner of it?
Ah, the P.I.A., always ready to lend a helping paw.
Ciao, my lovelies - I can't stay awake another second.
later.
QL ~ very black cat but very stunning.
OL - Lovely quilt, but how are you going to get that big black blotty thing from the corner of it?
GWPDA
Hey, don't knock big black blotty things!
Hugs, Tena. Good nap.
Actually, I was only gonna drive-by. I've got cleaning and stuff to do. Excellent afternoon to you, my merry moonbats!
sleep well, Tena!
Hoffmania has been all over this Tinsley thing.
"ah, fame.
Atrios"
If you wanta get REALLY famous, and have people yell shit at you on the street alla time and never have to make a dinner rez again and be up to your neck in grade-A puss...put your picture up on this website!
Find a nice handsome picture of yourself and put it the hell UP.
THAT'S how to get famous.
Mallard Fillmore is, without doubt, the number 2 worst comic strip in America. (Number 1 is Family Circus.)...
Derelict | 07.09.05 - 3:17 pm |
In his strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis had some good fun with Family Circus a couple weeks ago. Go to http://tinyurl.com/bwddf* for the 6/27 strip, and check out strips on the same theme for the rest of that work week thru 7/1 (click on calender for each date).
*I linked via Gene Weingarten's most recent chat in his weekly (Tuesday) online chat in WaPo online - I'm assuming www.comics.com can be accessed directly.
Want to see my hounds?
Here
Hi y'all:
This probably won't come as any
surprise to folks here, but my
idiot son just LOVES Mallard
Fillmore. He's even got a lot of the
merchandise -- including the
pajamas. He has two friends that
drop by the basement all the time
and quote lines from the strip to
each other.
They're like a bunch of Trekkies,
with a bigger Cheetos jones.
before you know it Atrios will have his first stalker.
DWD, you are on notice from the Swedish Hit Teams™ for using that offensive ethnic stereotype, Hagar the Horrible, as your Gravatar.
Prince Valiant is questionable, but acceptible. Asterix is right out.
Marvel Comics' The Mighty Thor would be an acceptible alternative, and is recommended.
Non compliance may result in the unspeakable lutefisk retribution, and i'm sure you don't want that.
Want to see my hounds?
cheese tease.
QL -- It's really lovely. Unexplained (in my life, to date, anyway) is why the flipping cats have to be on whatever project you're working on or just finished, and the allure of a basket of clean laundry. Do they sense the lack of cat fur on something and feel they need to contribute?
And is someone going to explain that DA BLAB SMZ thing to Tena, or what? 'Cause i all like know, and stuff, but SHE needs to . . .
(sings)
"Cross the Rainbow Bridge of
Asgard,
where the (something something does
something)
You behold in breathless wonder...
The God of Thunder.....
Mighty Thor!!!!!
A British Band The Futureheads did a song called 'Hounds of Love'.
"You're thor? I won't pith for a week."
(sorry, it had to be said and i am saving someone else the humiliation)
up to your neck in grade-A puss...put your picture up on this website!
Find a nice handsome picture of yourself and put it the hell UP.
THAT'S how to get famous.
seaguy
Idiot.
I thought saying Tinsley was the stupidest man alive was a bit of a reach.
That is until I watched that Mr.&Mrs.Wilson/Get Smart parody. Right, Karl Rove didn't out Mrs. Wilson, Joe Wilson did. That idea was shot down almost two years ago, almost the instant it emerged from the first wing-nut's mouth.
Tinsley certainly is the stupidest of anyone striving to be taken seriously, anyway.
well they did a cover version of Kate Bush's Hounds of Love I mean.
Hey, filkertom.
Mallard Fillmore. sigh.
They started running it in my local paper to appease the wingnuts who objected to Doonesbury. I saw the first few weeks of continuity as Tinsley tried to set up a continuity and characters--which he quickly abandoned.
It's a badly drawn editorial cartoon. That's it.
But it's a Limbaugh-conservative cartoon. It will trot out a 'fact' that's simply untrue, and use it as the basis of a rant. Tinsley works in the Wingnut Echo Chamber. He never even engages the arguments of the left: he doesn't even know what they are.
You can't do comedy until you've learned how to work a hostile room.
Cheese tease, indeed
And on the topic, what evidence is there to suggest that the most productive workers are those with the highest incomes? The labor markets are not necessarily competitive enough to allow that to be true. Uncertainty and lack of information may make it difficult to measure productivity, and people who are good at office politics or had wealthy parents or whatever may get the top jobs with the best pay.
"Tinsley certainly is the stupidest of anyone striving to be taken seriously, anyway."
Way I hear it, Tinsley's won first place in the freestyle pound your own penis with a hammer event at The Right Wing Retard Summer Olympics.
(Roarshock came in second)
Right, Karl Rove
didn't out Mrs. Wilson, Joe Wilson did. That idea was shot down almost two
years ago, almost the instant it emerged from the first wing-nut's mouth.
As of Wednesday, our now banned
old pal Toby Petzold was still
pushing it.
Idiot.
And on the topic, what evidence is there to suggest that the most productive workers are those with the highest incomes?
Hey, it's by definition.
More money equals more worth!
Meanwhile, in reality, here's what I learned last night.
personally i think BC is worse.
especially when he gets all religious.
i love the thought of prehistoric cavemen quoting a christ that hasn't been born yet. oh, right, maybe they're prophets!
before you know it Atrios will have his first stalker.
{{{shudder}}} He's had several, at least of the virtual kind. Anyone who refers to Mr. Atrios as "Duncan" is a sure sign.
And, for seconds, The Scummiest, Worst Man Alive:
http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/home.html
i love the thought of prehistoric cavemen quoting a christ that hasn't been born yet. oh, right, maybe they're prophets!
especially since there WERE no cavemen since the world was created in 6 days, 6000 years ago...
why hasn't SpongeDob gotten after BC for promoting evolution?
atrios could be declared a god by a pacific island tribe if he is not careful!
especially since there WERE no cavemen since the world was created in 6 days, 6000 years ago...
why hasn't SpongeDob gotten after BC for promoting evolution?
renato | Email | 07.09.05 - 4:34 pm
i don't know that it does actually - BC does feature, however, the fundy christian "flintstones" version of archaeology, in which man walks side-by-side with dinosaurs.
you'd think people so dependent on fossil fuel would have some kind of grasp of where it came from.
and remember the cavemen were not around at the same time as the dinosaurs!
"Mallard Fillmore" takes the "comic" out of "comic strip".
-
{{{shudder}}} He's had several, at least of the virtual kind. Anyone who refers to Mr. Atrios as "Duncan" is a sure sign.
Indeed. Use of "Duncan," "Duncan Black," or "Mr. Black" = troll to be ignored.
OT - !#@%!!, stayed up practically all night last night designing a new Gravatar and it STILL isn't showing up.
i wonder who's on the Gravatar review committee? how many of those damn things do they have to go through a day? they must have a lot of free time on their hands.............
Way I hear it, Tinsley's won first place in the freestyle pound your own penis with a hammer event at The Right Wing Retard Summer Olympics.
(Roarshock came in second)
seaguy
Idiot.
Come to think of it, are there ANY "Mallard Fillmore" collections out there for sale?
I've never seen one.
"Duncan Black"
That is a cool fucking name. Why does he call himself Atrios if he has a cool fucking name like that?
I should never have said helloscam had never eaten one of my posts. Jinx!
rorschach -- very nice! glad you finished your project without succumbing to heat stroke. Congrats to the parents of neicelet, too.
Chuck -- good illustration of a serious asshat's horrendous behavior.
whatever may get the top jobs with the best pay.
MAY. MAY. MAY.
Where I work, there is no may about it. All these kids fresh out of Duke, Yale, Reed. They snag the good jobs, while the kids from Queens College get hired as help. Really pisses me off. I know they are smart, and many of them are really cool, but they are all white and upper middle class to rich. And the difference is stark.
Duncan Black doesn't think much of Mallard Fillmore, but I notice he hasn't signed up to go to Afghanistan.
/wingnut stalker "logic"
Oh, and wowsa pups Echidne of the snakes . So do you have a housekeeper once a week?
you'd think people so dependent on fossil fuel would have some kind of grasp of where it came from.
r@d@r
God put it there for use in the 20th century; don't you know anything? sheesh.
Still waiting for DA BLAB SMZ translation. Not that I NEED it, you understand, no, I totally get it.
So do you have a housekeeper once a week?
Yes. Me.
what was this thread about again? oh, yeah, a second rate duck loving cartoonist who named his strip after one of our most forgetable presidents.
personally, i don't think tinsley is important enough to be stupidest man alive - or on any other list of superilatives (sp?). guess it's time to go mow the lawn before Dennis sends rain this way.
later, folks. new gravatar on the way, with a cat no less.
Steve-MD/DC--
Thanks! Good stuff. It's not u on the web anymore, but there was a great parody strip of little Billy with his trademark dotted-line thing around the neighborhood. All along the line were dead bodies, with Billy standng at the front door of his house as his mother asked, "Billy, have you seen Daddy's handgun?"
Ok, y'all are going to have to explain DA BLAB SMZ to me.
Damn! Too late.
For the rest of you. however, the above is Chicago Dyke's nephew's rendition of "Fuck Bush."
if I had any drawing skills, I'd draw a parody called, "The Bush Crime Family Circus".
i wonder who's on the Gravatar review committee? how many of those damn things do they have to go through a day? they must have a lot of free time on their hands.............
r@d@r | Email | Homepage | 07.09.05 - 4:38 pm | #
Not happy with the service? Demand your money back!
Duncan Black doesn't think much of Mallard Fillmore, but I notice he hasn't signed up to go to Afghanistan.
/wingnut stalker "logic"
He also neglects to note that Michael Moore is extremely fat.
For the rest of you. however, the above is Chicago Dyke's nephew's rendition of "Fuck Bush."
Diane
Of COURSE it is! Heh-heh, I knew that!
(psst -- thanks.)
I'm really glad our paper doesn't bother with Mallard. BC is bad enough. And they hide the execrable Family Circus in the classifieds.
Who was it who did the wonderful deep analyses of FC, Dark Window? They were pretty great.
ah, fame.
Atrios
It's not unusual big time blogg-- *er* editors of online news magazines to be recognized in public... just look for the sweaty lunks...
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last tip: hate mallard fillmore? subscribe to funny times. all the good comics, once a month. no nancy, mallard, prickley city, or family circus. just tom tomorrow, k chronicles, dykes to watch out for, and many others.
plus articles.
sort of like the 'daily show' of newspapers. but monthly.
http://www.funnytimes.com
(i don't even get a kickback)
....lawnmower awaits. bye for real.
Want to see my hounds?
Speaking only for myself, Echidne, it's considered a BAD THING to offer cheese-related items and then not deliver. We do keep records, you know, and if you try this too many times, there are channels to file reports.
Just saying.
I used to love B.C. I had a number of paperback collections. But that was the sixties.
Hart is a very old man now--and he's trying to face his own death. So I understand his dark turn.
The same goes for Bill Keane and his tremendsously creepy "Grandpa in the afterlife" cartoons. (Keane was, of course, never funny.)
There's a wonderful piece by New Yorker cartoonist James Stephenson (collected in a book Something Marvelous is About to Happen called The Last Days of Tootie 'n' Fred" about the collapse of a veteran cartoonist 'Spud' Willis, told in the last strips submitted to the editor. Wonderful and poignant.
'bye, Moonbats!
Just once, I wish some newspaper editor would have the guts clean out the comics page like the Augean Stables it's been for the last 30-odd years, and just clear out every godforsaken Family Circus, BC, Mallard Fillmore, Garfield, Mary Worth, Apartment 3-G, Dondi, Blondie, Kudzu, Mark Trail, The Phantom, Funky Winkerbean, Pop's Place, Hagar the Horrible, Prince Valiant, Heathcliff, Shoe, Hi & Lois, Marmaduke, Barney Google, Andy Capp piece of shit strip that hasn't sparked a synapse in eons. These comic strips are the Terry Schiavo of the American newspaper - fans may argue, "hey! it made me laugh at one point in the last 6 months," but they need to understand: that was just random coincidence. Wave at the balloon, Terry.
Now, now--Blondie is at least occasionally funny (as in, provokes a grin).
There should be some sort of rule about strips not being allowed to continue after the death of the creator. Dondi's creator croaked decades ago. Jeff MacNelly has been dead, what, 10 years? Charles Schultz keeled over and Peanuts still takes up space as reruns (not funny when first published, definitely not funny now).
Making fun of the awesome lameness of Mallard Fillmore is so much fun! I wrote a letter to the editor of the Los Angeles Times (who didn't print it) and then posted a diary here.
I don't usually indulge in pimping, but I can't resist the joyous frivolity in a a mad and undisciplined pile-on for that guy who does "Straw Man Theatre with Mallard Fillmore."
Ever notice how Tinsley's character's comments are in type much larger than anyother cartoon? Guess it's mimicking the loudness of the right's noise machine. Verdad?
Want to see my hounds?
I can see their thought balloons:
"Does your fromage-denying treachery know no bounds?"
"May you sink blub-blub-blub into the Great Grimpen Mire!!"
or sign a 5 figure book deal?
the world awaits!
Moonbootica - 4:16 pm
that's including the decimal point, n'est pas?
In his strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis had some good fun with Family Circus a couple weeks ago.
Christ, I just split my sides open reading that.
Late to this conversation, but a few observations:
1. Tinsley just figured out Jon Stewart put a parody strip in his book from last year? Or maybe he couldn't he mention it because he had too many more important issues to deal with before now? Like those missing WMDs, or the Iraqi insurgence, or the Plame Affair?
2. He didn't sign the fourth panel. Maybe that's the "joke."
3. He can't draw worth shit. Jon Stewart? Arlen Specter (mit hair)? The Vulture from those old Spiderman comics? Whatever!
4. He's trying to equate Jon Stewart with Michael Jackson, apparently. Maybe that's the answer to question 1 above. It was a timing thing. At least he didn't accuse Jon Stewart of failing to find WMDs! Because that might actually be funny!
Tinsley used to live and study (though not learn, apparently) here in Bloomington, IN; I think that he started The Duck while here. Anyway, several years ago we used to have one of those college-town free humor weeklies; this one was called "The Quiver," and it was mostly alternative (and a few popular) comic strips.
However, the very best thing they did was a Mallard parody: drawn in a fairly good imitation of Tinsley's style, it also featured a right-wing anthropomorphic animal reporter; the parody wasn't a duck, though, but a wolf. The title: "Aryan Furr."
Right now, though, I can't find a reference to either the weekly or the comic on Google. Tomorrow I'll hit the public library on the off chance that they've got some yellowing copies socked away. Other than that--anyone got any ideas about how I can get hold of some of those strips?
sorry, NO ONE could toppple Doug Feith from his lofty perch.
Late to the thread, but if anybody wants to look back on the good old days of internet parody and the Family Circus:
http://tinyurl.com/cl66v
I didn't go thru the above posts, so apologize if someone has already noted that "the studidest man alive" crown was awarded to our preznit several years back.
Yes, he plays at being stupid, but nobody is that good an actor.
The Fort Worth Star-Telegram removed Mallard Fillmore a couple of years ago, and the outcry forced them to add it back. It was nice to not have to skip my eyes over that part of the "funny" pages for a few weeks. (sigh)
Mallard Fillmore makes "Pokey the Penguin" look well-drawn. And WTF is up with the Jon Stewart/Michael Jackson thing? Does that even make sense?
I agree with Adam M. The comics page of your average American newspapers is just a sludge pile where you have to cherrypick the small handfull of strips worth reading. I had at least hoped that we were done with Peanuts when Charles Schulz died in 2000. Now it looks like we'll have to dig him up and put a stake in his chest if we want to see the end of Charlie Brown.
At least the Houston Chronicle will allow you to create your own comics section online so you don't have to dig through 50 year old dreck like Beatle Bailey. Just go to www.chron.com and choose comics.
I think you will find that cons in general are thin skinned little twits, and Tinsley is certainly proof of this theorem.
When he was on the air, I honestly didn't know what Johnny Carson's political beliefs were. Yes, his jabs at Nixon became more vicious as Watergate became darker and darker, but aside from that era, he was pretty much an equal opportunity targeter.
However, it didn't surprise me that in retirement he gradually revealed himself as a lib.
monchie b. monchum
Johnny left mucho bucks to Planned Parenthood.
The dude was solidly pro choice.
other conservatives who earn their daily bread thanks to affirmative action:
Colin Quinn - oops! show got cancelled! Could it be cuz he's not funny? Nah. Must be the vast-left-wing-conspiracy's fault.
Dennis Miller - oops! show got cancelled! Could it be cuz he's not funny? Nah. Must be the vast-left-wing-conspiracy's fault. Oh, wait - he was on MSNBC. Oh well. Blame it on Michael Moore or Dan Rather or Ward Churchill anyway. It's all good.
any others?
renato
Michael Savage/Weiner -- could it be because he's an ugly, obnoxious asshole?
Oh, no - the gays were out to get him and they got him cancelled!
What a collection of wankers.
I've read Mallard F about 25 times and I noticed that the visuals never had anything to do with the all-verbal "jokes." It didn't seem like a cartoon at all. The closest to a visual gag was an anchorman with an absurdly large chin.
Has anyone ever seen MF make a sight gag? Seems to me he's not exploiting his medium.
I didn't go thru the above posts, so apologize if someone has already noted that "the studidest man alive" crown was awarded to our preznit several years back.
Yes, he plays at being stupid, but nobody is that good an actor.
alapip |
"Doin' what comes natur'ly!"
If nothing else, Bruce Tinsley knows his audience.
You can't be too witty with the wingnuts.
For one thing, they won't get it (way over their hands) and for another thing, he'll be accused of being an "elitist."
sorry - way over their HEADS!
Carson was also pro-science; had a serious interest in astronomy and skepticism. Had Carl Sagan on a few times.
One odd Mallard thing he does yearly is rant about people selling things to support schools. Always wondered why; seemed a good right-wing thing, to raise money privately rather than depend on Big Government Coercion for buying something that doesn't kill somebody...
It just occurred to me that Mallard Fillmore is not really a comic strip. It's more a cry for help.
People suffering from narcissistic personality disorder lack empathy, and as such, also lack a sense of humor. Their minds do not process emotional responses in the same way, and they don't ever really "get" the joke.
I'm not saying that this explains why "Mallard Filmore" is never funny.
I'm just saying.
This must be like the 10th blog I have hit today where there was a post about what one person that was funny another didn't and they were mocking them for it or worse.
Isn't comedy kind of a subjective thing? I mean my dad sits and watches Red Green show and I am like WTF? How could that be funny on any planet? He feels the same way about stuff I like.
I just found it weird that in the world and times we live in that so many blogs are focusing on this today. Simply an observation.
BTW this is in no way meant to be funny or ironic.
why engage
in a battle of wits
with an unarmed
man
?
no
bruce tinsley is more than
just unarmed.
in a battle of wits he's a...
a...
like a pacifist.
in the battle of wits
bruce tinsley
is a
pacifist.
he's a quaker
of
wits.
For all who bemoan the downfall of newspaper comics I submit that the Boston Globe comics page is the best in any daily paper.
And yes, they do publish MF, but it's placement on the same page as Doonesbury, Sylvia, Boondocks, and other wickedly funny, biting comics just makes it's cluelessness and rigid ideology all the more glaring. Think of it as a public service, a zoo if you will, where the pathetic, downtrodden duck is fenced in by walls of actual humor.
And who remembers that great day in the 80's when Rupert Murdoch bought King Features and forced the Globe to divest of such gems as BC, Peanuts and Beetle Bailey? Oh what a death knell to the Globe's comics page.
Everyone knows that the stupidest man alive is donald luskin. So bad that DeLong can only read him in small doses lest he become one of THEM!
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