I'MMA LET YOU FINISH
First!
The last shall be first, baby.
-
Arse
He forgot the Paul Hackett type.
I love Fafnir. That was classic.
"Sometimes I just can't stop worryin about the Democratic Party an its terrible internal divisions an stuff"
Nighty, night. I'm going to sleep like a rock knowing that this doofus represents leading edge Demo thinking.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
the great divorce,
I will never accept the Loserman wing of the party. EVER. No turkee, no support.
Fafnir / Buckaroo 2008!
Medium Lobster for Sec. of State.
Nighty, night. I'm going to sleep like a rock knowing that this doofus represents leading edge Demo thinking.
Indeed. That Fafnir fellow is not terribly serious at all. Tsk tsk.
Medium Lobster for Sec. of State.
Or any (foggy) bottom feeder.
As long as gutless assholes like Biden and Lieberman are out front shouting "Me Too!", we aren't going to get anywhere. The Hackett campaign demonstrates that there are rewards for calling bullshit on this gang of thieves.
Selah.
Oh, and J.E. Thornhill can blow me.
watertiger for Tiger Czar!
Oh, and J.E. Thornhill can blow me.
Actually, if his last post were seriously intended, I have fallen in love with Mr Thornhill. What joy!
...is a blogger government have any less veracity than a shadow government...?
As Tiger Czar, I will show resolve in the WOT (War on Tigers). These tigers hate us for our freedoms and our way of life; they are backward and barbaric.
Oh, hold the phone. I'm a tiger.
Obviously Mr. Thornhill is an idiot. Fafnir goes right over his head - whoosh!
'Bout what I'd expect from a Repug. They all have giblets for brains. Hee.
We don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' no revolutions!
no word on the crew, but the russian sub has resurfaced.
Ass...
That's our mascot!
Hey. Computer at last, fixed! Heavens to Murgatroid, have I been Jonesin'...
"...I have fallen in love with Mr Thornhill."
Well, his attempts at pulling off the tone of loony magisterial omnipotence *do* have a certain charm...
but on the whole, I'd as soon he fell into an abandoned mineshaft-- but an abandoned minefield would be good, too.
Hillary...
ous?
Ass...
That's our mascot!
Still one of my favorites:
"So you're a Republican and I'm a Democrat. No reason we can't get along. I'll promise to hug your elephant if you'll promise to kiss my ass!"
Boxer/Feingold '08!
Dems are, truly, like cats. We do not herd well. I wish we could figure out how to make that a strength.
Liberals hate freedom and support terrorists as heroes. It's axiomatic.
.
ACTION POSE IS BEST
!
"Actually, if his last post were seriously intended, I have fallen in love with Mr Thornhill. What joy!"
My heart is all aflutter.
"To sleep, perchance to dream"
I still think the Dems are doofi.
...doofi...? what does that mean...??
ah gun control
next question...
I still think the Dems are doofi.
Well, you're hanging out here, bud, so that makes you...?
Dems are, truly, like cats. We do not herd well. I wish we could figure out how to make that a strength.
It works well for us at the local level at least.
Besides, all that lockstepping by the Repubs is going to take them all right off the cliff...
Bobo's world - Fort Worth edition
Posted on Sat, Aug. 06, 2005
Police say Keller woman killed daughter
Star-Telegram
KELLER - A Keller woman apparently distressed over the breakup of her marriage, killed her 11-year-old daughter Friday and then tried to take her own life, police said.
Norma Jean Roberts, 49, is accused of suffocating her daughter, Kelsey Roberts, before injuring herself.
Roberts was taken into custody Saturday morning at a local hospital, where she was being treated for her injuries.
The pair were found Friday evening by Kelsey's father and a companion, police said. The father did not live at the home.
Keller police received a 911 call at 6:54 p.m. saying there was an unconscious girl in the home at 1906 Stallion Court. After arriving, they found the girl's body lying in a doorway. Her mother was found lying in another bedroom, semi-conscious and unable to respond to questions, police said.
Roberts was arrested on a murder warrant 11 a.m. Saturday and was taken into police custody, although she remained at the hospital. Bail was set at $200,000, police said.
The motive is believed to involve the pending divorce and child custody proceedings, police said.
Liberals hate freedom and support terrorists as heroes.
The tune is the same as Lily of the West and Lakes of Ponchartrain.
Oh, I'm a good ol' liberal, Now that's just what I am;
For this "fair land of Freedom" I do so care a damn.
I'm sad I fight against it--I only wish we'd won.
Still I don't want no pardon For anything I've done.
I loves the Constitution, This great Republic too;
I hates the jingo patriot, who tells me what to do.
I hates the media zombies, With all their brag and fuss;
But the lyin', thievin' neo-cons I hates' em wuss and wuss.
We got one-and-forty-thousand troops fightin' in foreign dust.
They break and bleed and die for a war that isn't just...
I marched with all the millions to bring the landgrab to a stop
But the profiteering toadies got their contracts--good-n-hot!
So now they take my ballot? Yet I fight' em now still mo',
And I ain't a-goin'to love' em, Now that is sartin sho';
And I don't want no pardon For what I was and am;
And I won't sit down, be quiet, 'Cuz I still do give a damn.
I ate too much pizza to give Thornhill any space in my digestive system.
What J E needs is good 2 to 3 years of an unemployment event coupled with a divorce in which he loses his house and then a bout of kidney stone while he is uninsured.
After he files bankruptcy and learns he will always carry the debts to his grave then he might have an epiphany along the lines of.... hey maybe the Dems had a couple of things right after all.
CATS LOVE FREEDOMS AND SLEEP IN THE sun.
YOU DO NOT KNOW FREEDOM, so tied you are to righty ways. so far right to be taliban BOOTLICKER. tALIBAN. YOU ARE terrorist in sheep's wool.
Liberals hate your freedom to be a righty terrorist sheepfucker.
I am a kitty in pants.
Liberals hate freedom and support terrorists as heroes.
Alright, you found us out. Now go away.
And, Thersites, David Patterson is more my type. I understand he has a roomy closet.
Liberals hate freedom and support terrorists as heroes.
It's like he's not even trying anymore.
Samurai Sam, yep.
Liberals and democrats want us to be attacked again so they can impose sensitivity training re: Muslims when we should be deporting them, while outlawing Christianity at the same time. The bias never stops.
.
samurai sam has cooperative cats where he's at?
http://www.stupidvideos.com/Vide...asp?
VideoID=323
Oh, hold the phone. I'm a tiger.
Sorry, you've just failed the entrance exam for holding a Position of Responsibility in this administration. Not batshit insane enough.
I hope you feel shame.
The bias never stops.
Apparently, neither does the projection.
huh? go AWAY with you.
you make snow cents. snow cents at ALL.
Thornhill's nominative plural jokes are dee-licious.
I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I tend to think that, in a two party system, Two parties representing corporate interests are a wee bit too much.
David, are you a parody troll?
I can't believe it.
My heart is broken. How could you decieve me this way?
The bias never stops.
This is the bias that never ends.
Yes, it goes on and on my friends.
Some people started believing it
not know what it was
And they'll continue believing it
forever just because
This is the bias that never ends
Liberals and democrats want us to be attacked again so they can impose sensitivity training re: Muslims when we should be deporting them, while outlawing Christianity at the same time. The bias never stops.
OK, that's better. Still no MERKIN PATRIOT though...
Gosh and golly, I am SO glad to have my computer back! I'm even willing to read silly comments.
But now I must go shoot up (smoke).
Patterson, you are the worst parody troll of all time.
Or troll parody - whatever.
I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I tend to think that, in a two party system, Two parties representing corporate interests are a wee bit too much.
I think you just hit my hot button topic.
Campaign finance is what drives the legislative bodies of this country.
Untill we get corporate monwy out of government, we are, as a society, doomed to fail.
Well, shit, I'm all out of beer and the local stores all close at 6pm here in Upper Flyover, WI. Guess I'm going to bed.
Goodnight everybody!
WAY off topic, but I'm watching the Bruce Springsteen concert on PBS.
The Boss rocks so damn hard, it almost hurts!
No retreat, baby! No surrender!
tena,
i'm liking calling their posts "troll stool" or "spoor" or "scat"...
you get the idea.
and on that note, i'm going to continue reading about the fundamentalist Mormons for an extra-special dose of the creeps.
g'night.
No retreat, baby! No surrender!
Harumph!
So, is the fix in re: Fitzgerald or not? They want him fired and they're replacing his boss.
So, is the fix in re: Fitzgerald or not? They want him fired and they're replacing his boss.
I think the senate has *some* say in the outcome.
This type of 'moderate' will lose everytime. EVERYTIME. Both sides are amazed at how weak they are. In five years their careers will be dust.
Fitz needs to stay away from traveling in small planes, is my thought.
So waitaminute, if there is no Democratic ideological gap...why do we hate on Lieberman and his crowd again?
i waz sensitively trained to sensitively train a train car full of insensitives.
we pelted them with cats with pelts so soft and cats did pelt their brains. they called for help and with each little yelp we pelted them with kitties agayne.
softened by claws and fur and paws, they yielded to our point of view. They sing now of love and logical things, and laugh at the men in the zoo.
frothy with monkeys and creationist woes, the zoolivers fear evolution, for if it is true that descendants grow wizer, the righties are lost institution.
pelt the monkeys with kittens I say, pelt them again with big catses. claws and fur and flying things, they call with the signal us batses.
action POSE now!
I think the senate has *some* say in the outcome.
Not in whether they can Fitzgerald's ass.
I bet Bush fires him, in October, amid a shitstorm of attacks on his character, etc.
Give you good odds, too.
why do we hate on Lieberman and his crowd again?
Because he is a piece of shit. Simple, really.
But now I must go shoot up (smoke).
Sarah Deere
Waiting for Melissa to get home with a pack.
Dinners cooked and she's late.
To bad you're not next door.
.
Poop for Peace!
I think you just hit my hot button topic.
What do the Republican Party and the DLC have in common? (Well a lot of things, but)
They all hate MoveOn, Micheal Moore and Howard Dean.
And I think what hits the hot button of the Republican Party and the DLC is that all three of them can raise a lot of money in a short amount of time. In other words, they're a threat to corporate fund raising and influence.
agave, where are you ... ?
I might well wish I were there, too!!!
What, Lieberman is still around???
imagine
WHAT?
a world without silent screaming.
YOU ARE MAKING FUN OF ME, arentYOU?
I'm not the only one.
.
Today, humanity stands on the brink. Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, Sudan, Beslan, Chechnya... across the world, violence and anger overwhelm any progress towards peace and liberty. We are a divided species, basing our hatreds on even the most arbitrary classifications, unable to move past our quarrels to embrace common humanity. Since difference is all we can see, suffering is all we can expect.
That's why you should go poop right now.
Because today, April 15, is Poop For Peace Day.
Have you ever been to a party and you run into a guy you work with and are completely surprised and suddenly realize that you aren't gonna be able to get your groove on?
schizo-commenting is cool
no its not
yes it is
help me!
help me!
DEAR GOD. HE HAS A FLY HEAD. TO THE PRESSES!
i know you better than glue. I'm stuck on that.
Humanity, with all its ills
With all its hopes for future pills...
Hangs breathlessly...too late....
I bet Bush fires him, in October,
If indictments come down before then, I, like RMJ, believe they would never win another election.
oooo...scooter met judyjudy just before the novak column:
http://tinyurl.com/8t3ph
I don't have a groove.
It's the second biggest tragedy of my life.
Is it me, or have all thhe trolls just become completely unhinged tonite? None of them are making any sense whatsoever. Not that they ever do, but tonite seems to be unbearably bad.
Money:
basing our hatreds on even the most arbitrary classifications
The War of Civilizations is between very deliberate classifications. There's people who believe in human liberty and those who don't.
Oh, and there's a third group that pretends to the former while abetting the latter with their equivocations and sedition.
jdw's link. Murray Waas has a new article: Scooter Libby and Judy Miller met on July 8, 2003, two days after Joe Wilson published his column. And Patrick Fitzgerald is very interested.
I want my indictments
starting with Bush, Cheney, Rove, Libby, Hughes, Fleishman, McClellen, Rice, Bolton, Hadley, Feith, Wolfowitz, and anyone else in there
oh, and Novakula too
oooo...scooter met judyjudy just before the novak column:
So now we know who Judy is covering for. Now lets see why. Tho I think I can guess.
And Toby belongs to the third group, interestingly enough.
Rooms of experience, Toby.
Rooms of experience.
What're the Bush twins doing...?
Oh, and there's a third group that pretends to the former while abetting the latter with their equivocations and sedition.
Toby Petzold
You're right, the Dobsonite wing of the Republican party claims to be the enemy of the middle eastern theocrats while trying to install a theocracy in America.
The hatter was mad with mercurial stitches, hung up his jacket, yelled "whatup, bitches?" but his wife werenot home the children did leave. enraptured all by a man who pulled cards from his sleave. taken aback he took back his jack
et all around he found quite the racket. stiring his mind and melting his brain, never a difference made; already INSANE.
INSANE IN THE membrane
Felt's insane -- drives brains lame
INSANE IN THE membrane
INSANE IN THE
He runs to find a clean commode,
For he must lighten up his load.
Innards heavy from the day,
A brown egg bomb this hen will lay.
Greasy tacos take their toll,
As eager cheeks consume the bowl.
For one brief moment he's at peace,
Waiting for the big release.
Minutes pass and so does gas.
Pain starts building in his ass.
Then his insides start to churn,
Stomach pain begins to burn.
He is ready for the worst.
Suddenly, the damn has burst,
Like lava flowing from his rear.
He prays the end is almost near.
Writhing there upon the pot,
Excreting every thing he's got.
Sounds and odors never known,
Make him wince and curse and moan.
A second squeeze unleashes death,
Stinking worse than Satan's breath.
Trapped inside his fecal hell,
He flushes once to clear the smell.
Here it comes, the second wave.
He prays the Lord his butt to save!
One last push should do the trick.
And rid him from this mess and sick.
He shuts his eyes and strains his brow.
For he must end it here and now.
Then a surge of rectal clout,
That Zeus himself could never spout!
Spewing forth from in his bowels,
(Careful not to splash the towels.)
Out it comes -- a chocolate river!
Then, a sigh and tiny shiver.
The pain is gone. The bowl is filled.
One more drop and it'd be spilled.
The ordeal's over. Now he's tired
From the torment just transpired.
Before he can get out of there,
He must wipe clean his derriŹre.
Standing, though his knees are weak,
He turns around to take a peak.
The toilet's dark. The air is ripe,
It's time to leave, so he must wipe.
But now he'll face the toughest issue,
For he is out of toilet tissue.
-- Adam Lazarus
Evening all.
Although a Sodomite, I find Toby Fucknutz idiotic.
I am sure that there is some reasoning behind the color scheme that Fafnir chose.
But, suffice it to say, I did not have a headache before I read that.
smalfish
Something is going on, they have managed to hit some new high of irrelevance. Smells like fear.
i am not a troll
i am not a troll
OR Perhaps I aM--I really don't know.
i am not a troll.
The War of Civilizations is between very deliberate classifications. There's people who believe in human liberty and those who don't.
Oh, and there's a third group that pretends to the former while abetting the latter with their equivocations and sedition.
Toby Petzold | Email | Homepage | 08.07.05 - 12:29 am
The fourth group sells them weapons and coddles them to sustain spigots of petroleum. They also start wars in the wrong places and hand out chunks of our tax dollars like Pez.
What's wrong with Hillary?
I don't get it.
and anyone else in there
Perle, Poindexter, (again) Negroponte, (again) Abrams, (again) etc.
Holy Crapola!
Cindy S. and a small group of other protesters camping out in front of the Crawford Ranch just received this warning from the Secret Service:
"people drive very fast on this road, somebody could run over you and you could get killed"
Sweet Jesus on a Ritz. They're gonna let Laura behind the wheel!
Here's a list of things to do,
Whilst you're making number two.
Yes my humor's awfully blue,
But why not make it fun to poo?
While you're crapping just pretend,
That your butt's an ATM.
Withdraw cash from your rear-end.
Grab some poop and spend, spend, spend!
Picture you are in a race,
Passing cars with each strained face.
Try and keep up with the pace,
Or you will finish in "turd" place.
Phone a pal and start to chat.
Let him hear your feces splat.
He'll say, "What the hell was that?"
Then say, "Nothing, I just shat."
Put a plunger 'tween your knees.
Fly a plane above the trees.
Soaring with the blowing breeze,
Dropping "bombs" on enemies.
Grab your toilet paper roll.
Shove a piece straight up your hole.
Watch it dangle in the bowl.
Yeah it's weird but that's the goal.
Pretend your dung is dynamite,
Grab a match and strike the light.
Drop it in and hang on tight,
Just in case it does ignite.
Be a judge upon his bench,
In a trial 'bout the stench.
Overrule with every clench,
Flush the guilty down the trench.
Do not flush for several weeks,
'Til that bathroom really reeks.
Then go in and squeeze those cheeks.
Practice "holding breath" techniques.
(This one's only for the guys.)
Stuff your goods between your thighs.
Try and win the target prize,
Peeing on your poopy pies.
Here's one for that nasty deuce.
When your bowels are really loose.
Imagine you are making juice,
Freshly squeezed from your caboose.
Here is one last little tip.
Play a game of Battleship.
You've got gas? Then let 'er rip!
Try and make the big logs flip.
Now my list is all but done.
Maybe you can try just one.
You'll be hooked once you've begun.
Hope you all have "loads" of fun!
-- Adam Lazarus
The difference between Clinton and Dean is that Clinton had a slight understanding of how to protect this nation. Dean wants to surrender in the War on Terror.
And Toby belongs to the third group, interestingly enough.
Oh, darn! I put it too obliquely again.
No, the third group are the anti-American Left.
Thanks for letting me clarify.
What's wrong with Hillary?
I don't get it.
Duh-mocrat | 08.07.05 - 12:36 am
You're awesome. I like how make the word Democrats into Duh-mocrat. That's real good, did you hear that on talk-radio?
have people take turns keeping watch, I hope the Vets will go back to stand guard.
Is this what we've come to? Having to stand guard outside the presidents compound?
Shorter trolls:
la la la la, I can't hear you.
'Twas the night before Rosh Hashanah
And all was not well.
For two weeks my bowels produced
Not even a smell!
Three Ex-Lax I popped in hopes of a poop
And sat on the pot awaiting the fruit.
For hours I grunted, brow beaded with sweat
And fell to the floor, my goal still not met.
Upon waking I knew -- yes, it was fact --
The time had come to *cringe* "digitally" extract
So in went the finger and out came the goods;
And what happened next, my friends... never should.
Blood came pouring like a river to sea
What was happening inside; I could not conceive!
When finally it seemed over, I crawled back into bed
And woke to find the gas I'd passed running down my leg!
Off to the hospital for the dreaded colonoscopy.
It wasn't fair! It wasn't right! I wasn't even twenty-three!
Two weeks in a hospital bed with doctors gathered 'round
They told me I had Crohn's... but no evidence found.
Spent a week with morphine drip and floatie-infested soup.
They sent me home and said, "Madame, please call when you poop!"
I waddled out the doors with a sore arse and a boatload of pills
But not one answer to go with the offensively exorbitant bills.
So you wish know how this gastro mystery was to unfold?
Well, the Doc called a week later and asked if I took birth control.
"No," I said, "I take only one pill." What came next is priceless --
It seems the drug Wellbutrin can cause Ischemic colitis.
-- Lady Gastro
I remember when the War on Terror had something to do with capturing Osama Bin Laden. Aaaah those were the days.
ACTION POSE, BITCHES!
no.
WELL, WHY THE HELL NOT?
because, the last time we played twister with you your feet smelled really gross. and you know how evil that damn spinner can be.
OKAY.
all right. your hangdog face won me over. Action pose!
HELLS YEAH! ACTION POSE!
sure, why not? go for the whole thing.
ACTION POSE, BITCHES!
tee hee.
ewwww, what's that smell, you folks have been entertaining some of the elephant's droppings in here i see
heh
I occasionally fantazise about taking care of The President after he falls off his bicycle.
I don't think that makes me a sodomite.
Does it?
what's so un-american about wanting to take care of one's own country first, before getting into an unnecessary war that we can't afford? What's so un-american about wanting to protect individual freedoms? What's so, ah never mind, if you don't get it by now, you never will.
Here's what I think on the abortion issue in Atrios's previous post. I'd like to here what you think.
Corn sloth fights hard
break free it must
cheeks hold back war
bathroom line too long
many miles to go
long neck vein shows
others seem concerned
brown foe inches forth
My turn is next
bears peek nose out
small jig I dance
stall door creaks open
Drop trou in haste
rump not yet docked
dark horse trots fast
moist face flush with glee
-- Bill
No, the third group are the anti-American Left.
Thanks for letting me clarify.
Toby Petzold | Email | Homepage | 08.07.05 - 12:39 am
Yeah, I think we got that. Its not like you don't repeat the same schtick over and over.
Viva la Cheetos, Toby!
So it would appear Scooter is the person Miller is protecting. And now we may know, so she's in jail for nothing. Hahahaahahahaha.
san antone rose | Email | Homepage | 08.07.05 - 12:37 am | #
Damn. I get the feeling something going to happen against the American people by this man. Something violent and reactionary. I do not feel safe with this man in office anymore. And should the indictments come down, I have no idea what they will do to save themselves.
I remember when the War on Terror had something to do with capturing Osama Bin Laden. Aaaah those were the days
Funny, I remember a day, when it was the collective will to get the bastard.
Now THOSE were the days.
Too bad the only collective will these days is the feds determination to collect from the little guy.
I got an urge to take a shit
I tried to wait I must admit
I hate to crap in a public place
A fellow pooper I just can't face
I must drop this loaf before it's too late
Soiling my pants I sure would hate
I entered the restroom, I made The Move
My sphincter ready to do the groove
Standing at the pisser -- an old man
Shameful I am -- I don't sit on the can
I fake a pee pee, holding in fart
I'd kill this old bastard if I had no heart
Exit this restroom you old peckerhead!
This load in my anus feels just like lead
Finally he goes and I do my thing
Joy and pleasure this act does bring
I wish I was shameless when needing to shit
PoopReport has helped me, yes just a bit
San Antone Rose,
I thought they were protesting in Crawford, not out at 1604.
neocrat,
most abortions are casual?
get real
I wish there was a little troll.
That would flick the shit off my asshole.
He'd be there quickly to clean it up.
He'd wipe my ass when I take a dump.
I would need no paper to wipe my crack.
And no shit would get on my nut sack.
He'd clean that taint all nice and dry.
And clean the rim of my "Brown eye".
I pray to God for that nice Troll.
That scrubs the shit off my asshole.
I'm a proud member of the pro-America left.
We're practice satanic competence.
Damn. I get the feeling something going to happen against the American people by this man.
Likely to be subway bombings next month.
all a part of establishing Martial Law.
You trolls will not be exempt.
It seems to me that killing Sheehan would be an incredibly stupid move. However, stupidity and arrogance are a hair's breadth apart.
Cindy Sheehan is good folks. Brave folk.
I don';t believe the BFEE would deliberately off her. It would be too stupid.
I don't know what it is.
But there is something that's cool to me.
It's not something you hear,
or something that you see.
To others it is something that would make them gag.
And make them puke into a barf bag.
It makes you happy when it hits you.
The stronger it is the harder it gets you.
Nobody knows why and nobody tells.
But everyone likes how their own shit smells.
©smalfish,
testify brother!
To continue that thought, I remember a day when Supporting the Troops meant not sending them to another country to settle your grudge match.
Yeah, and now there's some shit posted over at DailyKos saying that Fitzgerald may be getting a new boss to report his Plame investigation to. A new boss who happens to be a old classmate of W.
And speaking of shit, is this like...a scat thread or what?
Where's Dave Patterson? It's about time for a porn bomb. Come on, Dave!
Big Ones...
Little Ones...
Ones that hurt...
Dry Ones...
Wet Ones...
Ones that squirt...
Dripping...
Dropping...
Plopping Goo...
This is an ode to My Poo-Poo
agave, where are you ... ?
I might well wish I were there, too!!!
Sarah Deere
I'm here.
Nice to know you are too.
.
most abortions are casual?
Haven't you heard? It's like Starbucks. You get a punch card. Every 10th abortion is free.
And not just an old classmate. a Skull and Bones buddy too. An old boy network buddy.
Funny, Ek. Beware...of the San Antonio
DEATH. LOOP.
dum duh dahhhhh!
Looks like I may have touched a nerve.
smalfish, you've got a leach on you.
My dog's farts
are like a potent death gas.
I can't get near her!
I need to plug her big ass!
The Big Money troll is into corprophilia.
eah, and now there's some shit posted over at DailyKos saying that Fitzgerald may be getting a new boss to report his Plame investigation to. A new boss who happens to be a old classmate of W.
Ah, so THAT'S how they;re going to get around it...
Not surprised. THey think of everything. Everything has been in place for seversl yrs now. Jesus, are we doomed, or what?
All they;'re leaving us is the streets and the threat of death for many of us.
God-damn.
The difference between Clinton and Dean is that Clinton had a slight understanding of how to protect this nation. Dean wants to surrender in the War on Terror.
Gary Ruppert
tee hee. his name reminds me of mister roper.
wait, why would dean want to surrender on the war on terrors? i know just the other day he was saying how stupid bush is an i was like I KNOW an he said how we can't win the war on terror this way an I was like I KNOW an then he said how we need to get the rethuglican party outta there so's we cans make us safe and i waz like HELLS YEAH! ACTION POSE! an he waz like Meg, you are so cute. come live with me in my spaceship. an i waz like YOU ARE CUTE TOO BUT YOU HAVE A WIFE AND I AM BUT A SMALL SQUIRREL. an he waz like, oh. hey, that gary ruppert guy is stoopid, ain't he, an i waz like I KNOW. HELLS YEAH.
Some turds float,
Some turds just stink.
How in the hell
Did this turd get on my dink?
I don';t believe the BFEE would deliberately off her. It would be too stupid.
Well, people who panic do very stupid things. I wouldn't be shocked there isn't someone in that circle who thinks up such dark deeds...you know, for fun. Just like how Oliver North liked to play with martial law scenarios in his free time.
And speaking of shit, is this like...a scat thread or what?
Its our resident psycho troll.He comes in here all the time pulling this stunt. He thinks it will make us go away.
HE is dead wrong.
So most abortions are.....?
Brand-new jockstrap stinks, is stained
White elastic under brown attack
Who or what is to be blamed?
Legstraps got trapped in my buttcrack
Pouch is yellow, damp with piss
What the fuck has happened here?
Cock has dribbled, look at this!
See my dirty, smelly gear!
Skull n' Bones, eh?
Good grief. So it's true, then? Fitzie is gettin a new boss? Someone must be extra special worried.
I am sure that there is a plan somewhere, dreamt up by someone on how to off Cindy Sheehan, and have it look accidental.
Sooo, why does the right wing have such a tender love for the Saudis that they want to hold hands and cuddle with them?
I mean, goddamn folks the 9/11 attacks weren't that long ago. Remember? 15 of the 19 hijackers were Saudi, Osama's a Saudi. Why is the right wing protecting the Saudi royal family and Osama? Are you folks really so dense that you don't realize that zero, as in nada, zilch, negatory, none of the 9/11 hijackers were Iraqi?
The Fitzgerald case being undermined is precisely why everyone needs to pay equal attention to the AIPAC spy scandal.
There is another scandal in this administration, three indictments handed out already that goes straight to the neocons, straight to the Office of Special Plans, and straight to the Lie for War Factory.
The trial for Larry Franklin will begin September 6th.
Rose,
off topic for a sec, but I have never understood why a stretch of road with a reputation like 1604 is not saturated with police and a zero tolerance policy. The loop has had a reputation for over 25 years and it isn't getting better.
OK...I don't even have a dog.
Scat troll begone.
When I think back on this incident, what comes to mind is one of Roberta Flacks' biggest hits, The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face. The lyrics are phrased in such a way to remind me of a fact worthy of my personal Guinness Book Of Records: I was twenty-three years old before I ever had a case of the runs.
Yes, it's true. Up until then, I had been blessed with daily diary entry-like logs -- chunks and pudding p(l)ops. Throughout my boyhood, whenever my stomach had been upset, I always managed to throw things up before they had a chance to be catapulted in frightening Hitchcockian-style from the rear window. High school was characterized by four years of pooping perfection; the one potentially disastrous eggnog drunk I engineered my freshman year in college got tsunamied into the trashcan beside my bed before it could all gurgle into my innards and initiate a mad dash to the communal dorm bathroom.
Thus I graduated from college into the real world without ever having experienced that rotten rush of entrails that I now know can cause everything from mere embarrassment to thorough traumatization. I knew what this FedEx fecal package smelled and sounded like, of course; I had had a couple of college roomies who suffered with it now and again in our suite bathroom. But I had yet to endure it myself.
Then came the summer right after graduation. My mother and I accompanied my father to the capital city one day for an investment broker exam he had to take. For some reason, my father took a scenic route on the way home, rather than the well-traveled state highway. We found ourselves stopping for lunch at some mom & pop diner that, from the outside, didn't exactly overwhelm me with its decor. Still, you can't always go by ambience. Sometimes the places that serve the best food look downright drab and dreary. Plus, we were hungry, and the place advertised home-cooked meals. So we went in and ordered the blue-plate special -- veggies and some kind of meat. Then we headed home.
In the house about two hours later, I began to have some virginal feelings in my lower gut. At the time I did not recognize the oncoming rush of driving booty-rain for what it was. I thought there was something drastically wrong with me. I thought I was seriously ill. I rushed to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and indulged my first honest-to-badness case of the trots.
It was horrifying to me because of my pristine pooping past. I was completely unprepared for the dogged nature of these trots. They kept coming and coming, yellowish and loose and nasty, pawing away at my peace of mind, yet still intriguing me enough to lift up and take a gander at the evidence after every explosive report. I began to think on my ass -- I would say feet, but I was glued to the pot. The only thing to which I could point as the culprit was that mom & pop blue-plate special. I fervently hoped that this was all there was to it, because I even entertained the panicky thought that I might have some serious disease.
The next thing for me to learn for the first time: when you think you are through wiping yourself after one of these bowel bouts, you are just beginning. I had no sooner wiped and wiped and wiped after the first round than round two began. I remember I had finished buckling my belt and had just started to wash my hands when another charge of the dark brigade ensued.
All told, I believe I erupted and cleaned up a total of four times before I could gather up the courage and confidence to journey more than six feet away from the toilet.
I lost my dark cherry that fateful day during my twenty-third summer. I can recall having the runs every once in a while over the years that followed. It never became a chronic thing with me, of course. And on the rare occasions when it did occur, I no longer panicked about the health implications. It simply meant I had eaten something that didn't agree with me, and I had to let nature run its course. Literally.
Still, you never forget your first time. Especially if you're twenty-three.
Maybe I don't want to get a groove on after all.
One of the first principles of the Republican party is that life is not fair.
If I am not meant to get a groove on, so be it.
People who revel in scat humor are often marvelously endowed with deep and complex minds . . .
Just kidding. The rancid troll probably jacks off in socks and lets his mom clean it up.
Sooo, why does the right wing have such a tender love for the Saudis that they want to hold hands and cuddle with them?
Don't mean to be snarky here, but I think oil has a lot to do with it.
Sunday was the hottest day of the year, with the mercury topping out at ninety-seven degrees. The wife, the kids, and I went to some friends' house to take advantage of their hospitality and their swimming pool. We swam for a while, and then we ate. After fried chicken, potato salad, chips, and hot dogs, we finished it all off with a huge plate of watermelon. I worried a bit about the amount of melon I ate -- such fiber tends to make things a bit explosive.
On the way home I was feeling hungry again, so I swung through town where the local festival was in full swing. My intention was to pick up a couple of pieces of nasty pizza for the kids (who don't know any better) and get myself a few pork chops on a stick. This being PoopReport, not PorkReport, I won't go into much detail as to the beauty of this wonderful cuisine except to say that they're delicious and worth every penny of the five dollar price tag. I had my wife pull up to the edge of the carnival and drop me and the kids off.
I found the pork chop stand. Unfortunately they were out of chops and predicting a twenty-minute wait. Having just been reamed a second asshole by the wife a couple weeks ago for waiting in line over an hour for a slab of ribs, I figured I could do without a third anal orifice, so I sent the kids to get their pizza and settled for second best -- a pulled pork sandwich and a Cajun sausage. I have no idea what the real name of this sausage is, but it's the equivalent of a giant, spicy Slim Jim; not really Cajun, but quite tasty, with just a bit of a kick. We took our food and got home in time to watch the fireworks. Eight beers and two sandwiches later, I was ready for bed.
Monday morning. My stomach woke me with a start. It was having trouble with something, and it seemed to be gearing up for a revolt. I figured it was a good time to jettison the offending chow before it reached the panic level.
What came out turned out to be one of the most pleasant poops of my life. A twelve-inch turd the consistency of soft-serve ice cream slid effortlessly from betwixt my cheeks -- no grunting, no pushing, and contrary to what my stomach was saying, no explosion. A peek in the toilet also revealed something startling: no watermelon. No, this was a light tan monster, coiled up in the bowl like a sleeping butt snake. As I flushed, my stomach growled once again, but nothing seemed to be moving. I showered and went to work.
Work was unpleasant. Sometime over the weekend the air conditioning had failed. The temperature in my office was in the low nineties, and the humidity made it all the more unbearable. In less than fifteen minutes I was a sweaty mess. Even more unpleasant than the heat, though, was the pressure now building up behind my sphincter. The stomach had passed the baton on to the intestines, and they were now expressing their displeasure.
I made my way to the can. Once inside the stall, it took some effort to get the pants down. My jeans were damp and my underwear was actually wet with ass sweat. As I sat on the toilet, I couldn't help but notice how warm the seat felt. I'm always a little disturbed to sit on a warm toilet seat because that generally means it was in use only a few minutes before. I know it's not rational, but there's just something icky about it. It was still very early and I knew that no one had yet used the commode; the warm seat was a result of the ninety-five-degree bathroom temperature. But still.
By the time I got my buns firmly planted on the seat, my intestines were really making their anger known. Gurgling and churning, it felt like they were wrapping around themselves in their attempt to squirt out whatever was causing their discomfort. I relaxed the bunghole just a little, and all hell broke loose.
With an audible hiss, some sort of black foam erupted in volcanic fashion. The stream took a full ten seconds to end; but before I had time to relax and wait for the next wave, I was nearly overcome by the most intense, most spicy poo smell I've ever encountered. My innards had taken that Cajun sausage, pulled pork, and beer, and, with the help of Mr. Watermelon, had made the vilest foam the world has ever seen. Depositing said froth into what was probably hundred-degree toilet water made an already volatile mess that much worse. My eyes watered, and I grew short of breath -- I was suffocating in my own dookie stench.
I don't normally do a courtesy flush if I'm perched on an industrial-strength work toilet, as too much of what's in the toilet is blown out of it by the violent, churning water. This would require an exception; and it wasn't so much a courtesy flush as it was a mercy flush. Mercy for my burnt olfactory passages, mercy for my red eyes and scorched lungs, mercy for any poor bastard unlucky enough to choose that moment to take a leak.
The flush helped, but the muggy bathroom air had already been polluted. My eyes continued to water through waves two and three, although each one was quickly dispatched by additional flushes. No one had the misfortune of entering the bathroom throughout my little ordeal, although in a twisted way I wish someone had. There's a certain amount of pride to be taken in achieving something out of the ordinary -- even if that something is a smell so horrible that it peels the paint off the bathroom walls.
The trial for Larry Franklin will begin September 6th.
Trial at 9 am. Bombings to be performed at 8:15 sharp.
There will be no trials.
The basic story behind the AIPAC spy scandal is that Neocons with ties to the Israeli right have been sharing secrets with Israelis about, among other things, Iran's nuclear program. This material is classified and can be easily predicted that the two nations' right wings intend to use this information to push for war with Iran.
agave.....hey. I thought it seemed like full moon, but it's actually new moon. I have no goddamned idea why everything is so strange and weird.
I'm hoping it's that evil fucks everywhere are feeling the strain of trying to keep their hooked peckers up 24/7.
Neocrat,
Most abortions are due to a set of circumstances that have place a woman into a position that for one reason or another, she feels unable to care for a child. It could be for medical, financial, emotional, or psychological reasons.
Nonetheless, the reason is valid in the mind of the individual seeking the abortion, and therefore is not subject to judgement by those outside the shpere of influcence of the individual in question.
In other words, it is none of our business why a woman seeks an abortion. It is our business, as civilized human beings, to ensure that the means at the womans disposal to obtain the abortion are safe, and sanitary. End of story.
My major was in geology. One of my classes decided to take a field trip to the Rocky Mountains over Spring Break. It was a graduate class, so there were not very many students in it; only about six of us were going on the trip. I had become good friends with the only girl in the class, as we had had many classes together in our undergraduate studies. We were both married, so we were not romantically involved; but we had become quite close through the years, and we could discuss just about anything.
The trip started around six AM. We were in a van large enough to seat about twelve, so there was plenty of room. The morning was uneventful. We stopped for lunch around noon. While we were stopped, everyone went to the bathroom and then sat down to eat. After we were done, we started out to the van when my friend said she better go to the bathroom again before we leave. Unfortunately, a bus tour had just stopped to eat and there was a long line at the women's; so she decided she would be fine to skip it.
We loaded in the van. I sat with her in the back. It was a rather warm day for early spring and, being college kids, everyone started falling asleep. There was plenty of room in the van for everyone to almost lie down, so within an hour everyone was asleep except for me and my friend.
About this time we hit a stretch of highway that's about 180 miles of nothing but ranches -- and no towns or trees. Just as we entered this stretch, my friend made the comment that she really should have used the facilities before we left. I think she had seen the road sign warning that there were no gas stations for the next 179 miles.
As we drove on, I could tell she was getting more uncomfortable, and I finally suggested that I could ask them to stop so she could go by the side of the road. She said there was no place to go and that she would be too embarrassed with a van full of guys. I had gotten a drink to go when we left the cafe so I suggested she could use the cup, as everyone was asleep except for the professor who was driving. The seat backs were quite high so she could remain hidden in the back. She thanked me for the offer, but said the problem wasn't that she had to pee. I had no solution for that, so I just tried to talk with her to help keep her mind off of her dilemma. This worked for a while but soon she was squirming around a lot, and pretty soon after that she was holding her bottom.
I offered again to have the driver stop, but she said no. In fact, she was sure if she stood up it would start coming out. She leaned over against my shoulder, and I could tell she was softly crying. I felt really bad for her, but didn't know what to do. We were still a good hour-and-a-half away from any facility, and the terrain was completely flat with no trees.
She remained on my shoulder for about thirty minutes when suddenly she sat upright and said, "It's coming!" She quickly sat forward on the seat and pulled her sweatpants and panties to mid-thigh in one quick motion.
I saw a tremendous log about two-and-a-half inches in diameter slowly growing underneath her bare bottom. It nearly hit the floor before it broke off and another emerged, this one about half the length. Then, about the time this one broke free, I saw the pee start to come. I had thought about trying to catch the log in the cup but decided quickly that it would not work. But when I saw the pee, I quickly held the cup underneath her. When she saw that I was catching it she let go and peed a large stream that nearly filled the cup. When she was almost done, another smaller log glanced off my hand on its way to the floor.
When she was finished, she quickly pulled up her pants and curled up in the corner, crying. When I finally got her to take her hands away from her face I will never forget the look. I don't think I have ever seen anyone that embarrassed before or since; but I could also see a little look of relief on her face. The poor girl had been in serious distress!
She calmed down a bit. She kept saying she was glad it was in front of me and not someone else. I told her not to feel bad, as there was nothing she could have done. We looked around. Everyone was still asleep, so it was time to figure out a way to dispose of it.
For the first time, I really looked at the mess. I couldn't believe what I saw. There was about twenty-four inches of poo lying on the floor in three chunks; plus I was holding a cup full of pee. All this from a girl who didn't weigh a hundred pounds. Luckily, it all looked pretty solid, except for the last five-inch log, which looked a little soft. The smell was not very bad, but a little noticeable.
I was wearing a bandana around my head. I took it off and handed it to her as I slid across the seat to open the window and throw out the cup of pee. She slid her pants down a little and cleaned herself, then slid across the seat to throw out the bandana. I stopped her and told her we might need it. About this time the guy sleeping in front of us woke up from the window opening. He kind of just sat there for a while, but pretty soon I could see him sniffing the air. Eventually he turned around and said something to me about the smell; I guess he was thinking I had farted. He could not see the poo on the floor. I told him "it was a pretty good lunch," and that was why I opened the window. He turned to my friend and said, "You sure picked a ripe one to sit by." She just kind of smiled and said she had contributed some herself. He laughed and, luckily, went back to sleep.
I then reached down with the bandana and picked up the largest of the pile -- a good twelve to fourteen inches, but solid as a rock. I threw it out the window and went after the medium log, which was six inches and still pretty solid. I disposed of it the same way. Then I picked up the smaller, softer one. It required a little mopping up, but I managed to get up all noticeable traces. I threw it and the bandana out the window.
To this day, I am sure no one in the van ever knew what happened, much to the relief of my friend. Although she continually thanked me for at least an hour for helping her out, not much was mentioned about the incident after that. However, when we were loading up to come home from the trip she asked me if I would sit with her. Then she looked at me, smiled, and said, "Don't worry, I unloaded good last night. And I usually only go every three days or so."
I just laughed and sat with her on the way home. I was glad she mentioned the "every three days," as I couldn't figure out how that much poop could be in her at one time!
Smalfish, I always assumed the bombings would be at 8:10, personally. But telling people about it will make those bombings seem more suspicious. Many people will be unaware of the trial that day and not make the connection.
goodnight atriots
fuckoff and die trolls...that's an order
okay. what's with all the poop? it's even bipartisian poop now.
The partisians hide in the hills with their guns, waiting with baited breath to overthrow the evil BIGGIES.
the BIGGIES in their SOOVIES that drink so very much toil.
the toil that the workers make deep in the cole slaw mines.
NOBODY LIGHT UP!!!!!!!!
There are unsafe levels of methane in this room.
No, I want you to be snarky here, it was a snarky post. But seriously, I have never heard a right winger even dare to address this.
True, Ek. People drive like maniacs on certain portions of 1604. Luckily I usually only travel on the portion between 151 and I-10, which is OK.
You'd think with the population explosion we've had out here on the West side that there'd be more patrols. I rarely see a cop or sheriff's car except for the cop that lives down the street from us. When the 151 Corridor becomes more developed, perhaps that'll change.
I have heard that there are regular patrols stationed in the medians on the Northeast side of 1604.
"The Big Money troll is into corprophilia."
Amazing how the rightwing fucktards have ALL this scat text right on hand, for instant cut and paste purposes.
Big Money, dude, your
picture on desperatesingles.com, is, perhaps, not the most flattering.
Another Bruce
A bit of reading, if you have the time.
okay. what's with all the poop?
Atrios banned him three years ago, and this is the resulting jihad.
And that's all it is.
Sad, isn't it?
ALL RIGHT COPYCAT FUCKERS. I'M ALL CAPS NOW, SO DON'T MESS WITH ME. I'LL STOMP YOUR FOOLISH ASS LIKE--
oh wait, gotta go. time for my "yoga with kittens" class.
g'nite.
David I agree for the most part.
But when approaching the opposition, I feel we must face the actual facts of abortions (I've never seen the true numbers for the reasons for most abortions, admittiningly--love to see a link!), and the fact that truly excellent alternatives to abortions should exist (such as a free education to any school of any choice, extreme federal/state aid for adoptioness, etc.) in our discourse with the opposition.
I lived in Prague back when Eastern Europe was still cool and the place to be. I rented an apartment in a new building on the sixth floor. But keep in mind that when I say new, it was new for Prague -- still not up to standards to which most readers are accustomed.
Booze was cheap in Prague, the city was full of beautiful girls, and the food was ultra greasy and heavy. Girls aside, though, the booze and food could play havoc with your bowels. One night I came home around four AM, completely and utterly annihilated. I had to crap like you couldn't believe -- the cocktail of beer, deep fried cheese and pickled sausages was ready to go. I pressed the button to the elevator. It didn't work.
I started to panic. My need to poop was quite urgent, so I started to run up the stairs. I have never run so fast in my life. As I came to the top of the stairs on the sixth floor, I took a final leap; and as I did so, I crapped myself. I've neglected to say that I was dressed in a jacket and tie with dress pants. Thank Christ this was Europe, so I was wearing briefs instead of boxers; the mess was relatively contained.
I got into the apartment and decided to deal with the mess. I had to shower and clean myself. "What should I do with the pants and underwear?" I thought. Well, I was wasted, so my better judgment had deserted me; I went to the balcony and threw my pants off. They landed in a puddle in front of the stairs at the entrance to the building. At least my apartment wouldn't stink.
I woke up in the morning not remembering the events of the night before. I got dressed for work, went downstairs, and saw the pants; and it all came back to me. I was a little ashamed.
After spending the day at work, I ate nasty stuff again and went out drinking again like I did every night. In the taxi ride home, the urge came on. And I was loaded. I got to my apartment and realized the elevator was still out. Shit!!!
I ran up the stairs; and yes, you guessed it, I shit my pants again, just before the sixth floor. You can see where this is going. I ended up throwing a pair of dress pants off the balcony. Again.
The next morning there were two pairs in the puddle in front of the stairs, and I was running out of pants. I was worried about what would happen if this occurred for a third night. My business wardrobe would be completely decimated. But I didn't go out drinking that night; and coming home after work, I saw the pants had been removed. I pitied the person who removed them. What must they have been thinking as they removed two pairs of expensive, beshitted dress pants?
The silver lining of this story is that my experience of shitting myself in the same place two nights in a row made me stop drinking for a while, until I got control of my bowels again.
good grief, I've been trolled!
tip to troll -- dumb it down. i cain't write that purty.
For those of you who learned about the "replacing Fitzgerald's boss" story, there is also one positive Plame revelation today. And that is we know who Judith Miller is protecting. And it most likely is Scooter Libby.
Rose
Well, I may get on 1604 once a year now. And since they have been doing all the work in 410 and 10, well I use all my back routes to around. Hell I can't even cross under 410 in places without feeling like my life is on the line. S.A. really needs to get serious about traffic control, or the death tolls will keep rising.
As a member of the military, I moved around the country quite a bit during my career. I always tried to make the best of wherever I was and soak up the local culture and cuisine as best I could. That meant the best Italian and Asian from the Northeast, the best steaks from the Midwest, the best collard greens and fried chicken from the South, and the greatest Mexican food from the Southwest. And I won't even try to describe Maine lobster fresh off the boat! Mmmm. So, what am I missing? Oh yeah... Cajun! That's right, I lived in New Orleans -- a country in its own right. A place out of time. And, for those that have never been there, the weirdest place on the planet. Trust me.
So one day some of the Cajun locals decided they were going to show us Yankee folk how they do it down on the bayou. A real Cajun treat: a good old fashion crawfish boil!
Here is how it's done. Tons of crawdads, little red taters, and ears of corn cut in half. Maybe some okra for fun, and then the spiceÉ hooyah! Da spice! Extra spice for the Yankee folk, too. (I don't know what all was in it, but it had cayenne pepper and then some!) Now put it all in a giant pot (the kind you see in the cannibal cartoons) and boil it all up. Then take it out and start eatin' it up.
Simple, and delicious. The only weird part is learning to suck the head of the crawdad. You see, the tail is yummy white meat, like sweet lobster. But after eating that, you bust off the body and suck the goop out of the head. Hey, I'm game, so I went for it. Let me tell you, this stuff is spicy, too. The taters, corn, and crawdads were all hot as hell. Not just pepper hot, not just jalapeńo hot -- this was Cajun hot. Fuck habanera, that's sissy stuff -- this was lip-swelling hot after about ten minutes of eating. But damn good, too. So I ate, and ate, and ate, and washed it all down with a few cold ones. All in all, a fine afternoon.
Now, I know what you're all thinking: "Turtle Head had the craps after that, haha!"
I wish it were that simple.
I finished my feast and headed for home. It wasn't three hours after I had BEGUN eating and already I felt it coming. I knew I was going to have a fine movement. It wasn't scaring me, it didn't hurt me, and I was in no way in distress. I just figured I had to go.
I got home, cleaned up -- my fingers still burned a little from the spices, believe it or not -- and sat upon my throne. And so begins the fun.
It started as a normal one. I pushed, I farted, I pooped. Then I had a little extra something. Just a squirt, but a little warm. I started to wipe but realized I wasn't quite done. Another squirt. And another. And -- oh my! Another. I finished, wiped, got up, and headed downstairs; and that's when it hit me. The cold sweat, the queasy gut, and that pressure we all dread. I hauled ass back to the shitter, dropped trou, and barely made it.
This was the Pearl Harbor of shits. From out of nowhere I was loading the bowl like you can't imagine. As I leaned forward with a painful cramp, the shit hose was so powerful that it gave me backsplash up on my back! I was totally out of control at this point; my poor bowels were just spasming away. It was so bad that my o-ring wasn't even registering the pain yet. But after a few minutes, it all kind of eased up, and I could catch my breath. Big mistake!
This was Satan's seafood buffet in a bowel, my friends. This was low tide in hell. Let me tell you: one July while I was in New Orleans, a seafood truck crashed and overturned in a drainage ditch, and I was forced to drive by a ton of shrimp rotting in the sun two times a day for weeks; and what came out of my ass smelled worse by a factor of ten. This was one of the few times I actually made my own eyes water.
At this point I really thought I was done, so I wiped, gently, and took a quick look over my shoulder at what had exploded from my ass. I nearly cried out at what I saw. It was pure Technicolor crap! Yellow corn and black-and-bluish crawdad head juice, all covered in red Cajun spice, plus the added bonus of whole crawdad tails. If you haven't gagged yet, don't worry. I did it for you.
After three flushes, I got it down (except for a few stray corn kernels). I stripped and showered. It was at this point that I discovered that my sphincter had lost a few layers of skin from that damned Cajun spice. Soaping my poor thing was like rubbing salt in an open wound.
Thankfully I was pretty much done, other than a little nasty gas and my burning bunghole. Some Gas-X and talcum powder solved those problems, though my ass actually bled a little the next day. Lesson learned? Don't let anyone cook you a "local" favorite when you know they are trying to impress you. You may pay with your ass.
And it may be that Miller is the "rosetta stone" to determine whether or not there was a White House Conspiracy, as pontificator at kos writes.
There was only one $2-4 Omaha table at Niagara last weekend, and there was a long-assed wait for it too, so I was biding my time at one of the NL Hold-'em tables, waiting for my name to be called. I was doing pretty well, making a little and folding a lot. After an hour of playing I felt the first stirrings of bowel discontent, but I really didn't want to quit in the middle of a hand -- not after folding eight in a row.
After another half-hour, my name was up. I grabbed up my chips and escorted them to the Omaha table.
Wasn't there for twenty minutes when the bottom dropped and I really had to go. It was serious: my butt-bags were fully packed and ready to storm out the door. But I was damned if I was gonna wait another hour or two for a spot at my favorite table, having driven hours to get there to actually make some money. So I did the usual: squirmed, clenched, squeezed. My anal sphincter was at Maximum Pucker Factor.
Maybe a little gas leakage would release the pressure? I carefully squeezed out a little tootelage... no leakage, no problem.
Folded three more hands and then hit a nice one: K-Q-Q-10, 2 suited. So I raised before the flop and was happy to see seven callers. Flop comes A-Q-7, with the A and 7 matching my K-Q in hearts. So I raised the first bidder and was re-raised and raised again, with five callers following along. By then I was seriously cramping and needed some rear relief in the worst way, so I tried to squeeze out another mini-toot. But my innards would not be denied this time. A nice merde marble hitched a ride out with my fart and squished into my undershorts.
I squirmed uneasily as the stench started reaching the players around me, and then Fourth Street came: another Ace. Well, that was good news -- and bad news, of course, since I had the boat but there were two possible yachts out there that could sink her. So everyone checked, and I could see that everyone was in the same boat, so to speak.
I was afraid to fart again after what had happened, but no way was I ditching this pot. So I stood up and paced around the chair, everyone at the table laughing and joking at my expense and waiting for the explosion that appeared imminent. Believe me, they knew I had a good hand and they were taking their sweet time in betting while I danced in agony.
River card came -- a Queen! Everyone laughed, since they knew it was likely that there were two Aces and four Kings out there and there would be a battle of the boats that would make it a nice, fat pot. So I sucked it in and meekly checked. Predictably, everyone bet and raised to the max, and when it came back to me the pot was huge, and so was mine.
I put on a great act, grabbing my tummy and bending over with cramps and moaning about how I was gonna explode and should I throw more money away into the pit or just fold and rush to the restroom before I died right there? They enjoyed that immensely -- but they were even more shocked when I said, "Fuck it -- I already lost my cash here, might as well throw the rest away before I explode." So I called, and the two after me quickly called as well.
They stopped laughing as I showed my Quad Queens, scooped up all the chips, and RAN to the restroom, letting out three more pooplets on the way. It was a mini mess and I had no change of underwear. But it was worth it!
Let's see... I've mentioned
1) Fitzgerald story
2) AIPAC investigation.
My third obligation is to draw attention to the fact that Cindy Sheehan has been told by the Secret Service that the road she is camping nearby is "very dangerous" and she "might be killed."
Veiled death threat or concern? You decide.
What kind of sick-fuck has all that brown prose stored for the purpose of cut-n-paste jobs such as this? It's like reading Penthouse Forum for scat freaks.
We were just getting our stuff out of the car to go meet some friends for a concert in a park. Hundreds of people were around us. As we shut the trunk, I suddenly felt a wicked fart working its way down the pipe. As is my habit when my wife is present, I gave it a good hard push in order to maximize the volume.
The grin on my face was soon replaced by horror as I felt the hot wetness running down my ass.
My wife asked what was wrong, but I didn't know what to say. In a panic, I looked all over for a restroom or honey bucket... nothing. I finally confessed that I had just shit myself. Of course she laughed, but it wasn't funny. She suggested that I drive home and clean up, but I couldn't stand the thought of sitting in the mess I had just sprayed all over my Hanes (and possibly getting it on the seat of her car). I resigned myself to finding a bathroom... somewhere.
It took us a few minutes to walk into the park, all the while with this slimy, hot shit between my ass cheeks and running all over. There were hundreds of people; I wondered if they could see anything on the back of my pants. We saw our friends. I continued on as my wife met them and explained that I was looking for a loo.
I finally found a honey bucket all the way across the park. Longest two minutes of my life. Naturally there were five or six people in line, so I had to stand there with my ass burning. People were in line behind me. Did it show? Could they smell it? Were the kids asking Mom what was on my pants? Jesus.
I finally got in. I carefully undid my belt and pants, taking great care so that I wouldn't release a puddle. When I pulled down my underwear, I was shocked. Runny crap was everywhere. It was amazing that it didn't run down my leg into my shoes.
"What the hell do I do now?" I thought. I couldn't take my shoes off because honey bucket floors are covered with piss and God know what else. Besides, sliding my Hanes off would have gotten shit all over me. Then I remembered the tiny Swiss Army knife on my keychain. It had scissors!
I carefully cut my underwear off, spilling only a few drops, and chucked them in the pit. I wiped my ass, balls, and thighs as best as I could (there was no water!). As I pulled up my pants, I noticed that there was a one or two inch blot of wet fart; but it was on the inside of the leg and not too noticeable.
Ten minutes later I emerged from the honey bucket to see a bunch of moms with furrowed brows and kids holding their crotches. No time for apologies. I briskly walked back through the park and found my wife and friends. I spent the next couple of hours with my legs together, but it was a good time. And it was dark when we left, so I didn't have to worry about the stain anymore.
Took a long shower when I got home. Washed the pants. Back to normal. My wife agreed that we would never discuss this again.
One signal characteristic of the dumbass GOOPER troll is that they don't quite get the concept of the "Page Down" key.
"Oh, more scat nonsense from some feculent coprophagiac troll. (hits Page Down a few times, skipping completely over the troll droppings)"
You see, they think that we actually HAVE to read their stuff to get to the next comment.
Silly, stupid trolls.
Well, this is enlightening. Good night from Seattle.
I will also mention Matt Taibbi will have an article coming up about irregularities in the voting in Ohio, and why he is now convinced what happened in Ohio is WORSE than what happened in Florida in 2000. And he was once a skeptic.
Last summer, The Metatherapist and I took a vacation to Negril, Jamaica. Unfortunately Hurricane Ivan decided to come to Jamaica too. We were evacuated. But Sandals, the resort where we stayed, has a Blue Chip Hurricane Guarantee that entitled us to a free replacement vacation any time within one year. So last week we were in sunny Jamaica for free!
Well, actually, not-so-sunny Jamaica. Just our luck -- the first tropical storm of the season, Arlene, was over Cuba, which was only ninety miles away. No evacuation this time (well, not the kind that involves fleeing from a storm). But Arlene's clouds, rain, wind, and waves made for a less than idyllic island interlude.
We made the best of it, trying to do some fun activities, weather permitting. We signed up to go on a booze cruise on a big catamaran called The Wild Thing. The cruise included an open bar, Jamaican food, a water slide from the boat into the sea, and an opportunity to jump off Negril's cliffs or just watch the local Jamaican guys execute triple somersault jumps into the vodka-clear Caribbean.
Okay, okay -- enough of the travelogue. We received a travel log upon boarding. A stunning young Jamaican girl crewmember pointed out where to find the bathroom on the boat (way below deck). And she instructed us all about how we needed to pump and pump the handle next to the toilet until the "bilge" was flushed down.
The Wild Thing set sail. I had a Jamaican Red Stripe beer, a rum punch, and some spicy jerk chicken. Delicious and fun -- until a little while later, when a wild thing in my rump started to jump to the reggae rhythm. The beat from my bowels intensified, threatening to bust a big brown Blob Marley spliff through the back of my bikini!
I staggered down the steps to the "head." I peeled (the bikini bottom) and plopped (the poop). Ahhhhhh...
Arlene! All of a sudden, the boat started bucking big-time. I held tight to the handrails aside the toilet and continued my evacuation. The pontoons of the catamaran started to smack the water hard, at times tossing my butt off the bowl. Through the porthole, I could see that it was raining and blowing hard. Just like my poor pooping porthole. With the last big wave, I wiped out, using the thin marine toilet paper provided.
The paper slid fast through my crack, and my palm and the back of my hand were smeared with hot, stinking, molten poop. Ewwww. I turned around to see how the heck this happened and was confronted with the Jamaica Mistaica that Arlene had wrought. The entire back half of the tiny marine toilet seat was splattered with my spicy brown jerk sauce. My cheeks were slimed, too. Even worse, the back of the bowl, including the seat hardware, was completely covered. Arlene's wrath, tossing me up and down, round and round, had created a toxic waste dump in the bowels of The Wild Thing, in the middle of the clear blue Caribbean.
I used yards of toilet paper to clean myself and the head. The most disgusting part was cleaning the poop from the screws on the toilet seat. There was no sink, and of course no soap and water. The mound of toilet paper that I used rose almost above seat level.
When the mop-up job was done, I recalled the travel log instructions about how to pump my troubles away. I did as I was told: pump pump pump to drown the dump dump dump. But nothing happened.
Grrrrr! Pump pump pump. Pump pump pump. Pump. Pump. Pump. Go down, dammit!
Nothing doing. After tons more tries, I slunk up the stairs and found my darling Meta drinking rum and dancing on the deck. I whispered my embarrassing predicament to him. He laughed and confidently descended the steps to pump my dump. Way too quickly he emerged, telling me that he couldn't get it to go down, and that he had observed that I had missed lots of spots on the underside and back of the toilet seat, leaving brown evidence behind.
Now what? I jumped overboard, hoping the sea would cleanse my defiled hands and hiney. I clambered back aboard, took the stunning Jamaican girl crewmember aside, and told her that the toilet pump was not working. Of course, I didn't tell her that my Jamaica Mistaica had fudged up the works. Then I cringed as I watched her go down to the head and return with a horrified expression on her beautiful face. She approached a crewmate, who went down and came up looking stunned, not stunning. Finally, the captain himself investigated.
I'm not sure if the captain was able to pump my poop down. Maybe so. I'm pretty sure that other revelers used the head after me. But who knows what they found in there!
When we docked, there were t-shirts for sale, printed with "Ask me how to do the Wild Thing." I bought one. For Arlene.
Yeah, the sheer time investment in pasting in the poop stuff is astounding -- it's the effort of someone who is, by any objective measure, mentally ill.
If you are thinking to yourself, "here is a good use of my time -- pasting in obscene material to a comments section because of some really trivial grievance!"
Well, you're not normal.
Thersites
Is there any troll that qualifies as normal?
Hi????
After a one week hiatus Sen. Biden(aka Joe Plastic),will be stalking the Sunday news programs.
He can be seen on Fox news along with Senator Jim Bunning who will explain how a dimwit with a good curveball can win high office in the United States.
...truly excellent alternatives to abortions should exist (such as a free education to any school of any choice, extreme federal/state aid for adoptioness, etc.)
How does that solve the problem of having to go through an unwanted pregnancy and delivery? How does that solve problems inherent to adoption, which several people here in a position to know would be happy to detail? And how do you deal with screaming hordes of parents who will complain that their planned, wanted children can't get a free education in any school they choose?
I'm a bit tired right now, but the above "solutions" don't track.
I think the fact that Crawford is in the middle of nowhere and Sheehan is going to be close to a road mean that the Secret Service would prefer she not be run over by some drunk.
Anyways, if this is part of the plan to kill her, why should she be told this?
New York State Attorney General Eliot Spitzer has launched an investigation into the shady $875,000 loan from Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Club to Air Amerikkka.
This is an obvious partisan witch hunt conducted by a known republican hack.
Dude, what about me? Here I am bringing attention to all of this potentially incriminating information about the Bush administration and I don't even get to tell a poop story? I feel insulted.
Ruppert, they're not going to kill her. The idea is the threat. You're obviously not a person who's had to deal with thugs.
Thanks John, that was actually a very concise time line of the Bush-Saudi love affair.
Hey right wingers, have you noticed something lately like the price of gasoline when you go to the pumps? I know you have a hard time putting two and two together, but let me help you. Bush is an oilman. A lot of the Bush administration is connected with big oil. Gas has gone up a dollar a gallon in the past year and the oil companies, (and the Saudis) are making a huge profit. But no profit is too huge so the republican congress just gave 15 billion to the oil companies. (Answer, 2+2=4).
Hi? All I'm seeing is troll stuff...
No wonder I find myself unable to get my groove on.
It's the low grade hijinks of my fellow conservatives that are dragging me into the sewer.
This is an obvious partisan witch hunt conducted by a known republican hack.
typical eschatonian | 08.07.05 - 1:12 am
Enough with the projection. I haven't read that anywhere other than knee-jerk response quotes from GOP official after another one of their own is busted from graft or buggery.
Air Amerikkka has begun repaying the loan, but is not complying with a recommendation by the city's Department of Investigations regarding how it should be repaid:
The first payment of $50,000 was made yesterday, and it was deposited into an escrow account controlled by Air America's lawyer.
That unsettled city investigators, who had recommended that the entire $875,000 be placed into an escrow account that no one could touch without their approval.
Ummm, why is it so hard for Air Amerikkka to return the money to the inner city kids they stole it from?
Oh, that's right, they are criminals and criminals don't like to give up their loot. Fucking monsters all.
Is there any troll that qualifies as normal?
Well, a certain adolescent impulse for vandalism is kind of "normal." And the cultish Bushism of most trolls is kind of understandable, or at least classifiable.
The poop person's beef is with Atrios, personally (or the imaginary Atrios of the troll's dementia), and it's not even ideological, really. It's the mentality of the stalker.
Make no mistake -- this troll is genuinely mentally ill.
Ummm, why is it so hard for Air Amerikkka to return the money to the inner city kids they stole it from?
Actually, it's simpler than that. They still don't turn a profit so $50,000 is the best they can do.
Oh, that's right, they are criminals and criminals don't like to give up their loot. Fucking monsters all.
Eliot Spitzer | 08.07.05 - 1:16 am
Are these the same guys who lied to start a war they couldn't handle?
I think the fact that Crawford is in the middle of nowhere and Sheehan is going to be close to a road mean that the Secret Service would prefer she not be run over by some drunk.
Anyways, if this is part of the plan to kill her, why should she be told this?
Exactly the excuse they would use to convince people like you trolls. And of course you would all buy into the line. As you always do.
Make no mistake -- this troll is genuinely mentally ill.
Maybe it's just constipated, and this is all just wishful thinking?
I do vote that Atrios ban the poop troll. They have no purpose except to be disruptive. Toby and his ilk are in a class above the poop troll, though it pains me to say. It is however, obvious.
Well, a certain adolescent im-
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Make no mistake -- this troll is genuinely mentally ill
This one would likely use firearms to settle a dispute. weather the opponent is armed or not.
Ha-ha-hA-HA... $875,000
quoting Michelle Malkin who quotes the fucking New York Post... ha-ha-HA-ha
snort
giggle
guffaw
[ wipes tear from eye ]
That was the best yet. Thanks for the laugh.
Who are these people and what have they done with Eschaton?
Now, however that the Secret Service quote said to Sheehan is public knowledge, the risk of having her killed is too great. So now they'll probably even keep an eye out for drunks.
This one would likely use firearms to settle a dispute. weather the opponent is armed or not.
©smalfish scarer of trolls
*whether*
Maybe it's just constipated, and this is all just wishful thinking?
Oh no. This is no joke. This is a person clinging to a dangerous fantasy, who needs help.
I'm not kidding about this. This person is obsessive and dangerous to himself.
Hi? All I'm seeing is troll stuff...
The troll are thicker than theives tonite.
The poop troll is really and truly troubling to witness.
With its apparent grudge against Atrios, which it is all too willing to namesteal to try and fool people into thinking that it is more than one person, there is a genuine issue.
It's been a long day, and I've much that needs doing tomorrow.
And so to bed.
Nighty night folks.
I do vote that Atrios ban the poop troll. They have no purpose except to be disruptive.
He's been banned innumerable times. It's part of his insanity that he comes back via proxies.
To thwart the troll's disruptiveness, I sum up things, suchly:
1. Judith Miller talked to Scooter Libby 2 days after Wilson's oped, according to Murray Waas.
2. According to Newsweek via RawStory, there is a plan to replace Fitzgerald's boss with a Bush Skull and Bones Yale pal, who could easily report on Fitzgerald's progress to the president's men.
3. Because of the risk of the Fitzgerald case going astray due to #2, it is important to keep our eyes on the AIPAC spy scandal ball as well.
Or else... the BALL WILL ATTACK US!
I am unqualified to form an actual opinion regarding Poo Troll, as I have read nothing but the first line or two of those posts. Long live the scroll wheel!
Well, a certain adolescent im-
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
You know on some level that I'm right -- but you won't get help.
Go tell a therapist what you spend your time doing.
You know what answer you'll get.
I can go to bed satisfied knowing that Great Poop Psycho saw it fit to touch my handle with its sword of shit. I will go to bed a peaceful man, it will stay awake until its little crank is rubbed raw and blistered thinking of all the poo jokes it spread and over-use of scroll-wheels it caused.
Further,
4. Matt Taibbi, vote fraud skeptic, is now convinced fraud in Ohio in 2004 is worse than Florida in 2000, and 10,000s of votes are at risk.
5. Cindy Sheehan is camping out at Crawford, protesting the war and will stay there until she is jailed or can speak to Bush. It has been 1 day.
If Sheehan stays out there long enough, Bush may just get frustrated enough to go back to Washington to get away from it all.
And I do suggest we keep a day count of how long Bush inconveniences her, much like Cronkite insisted on keeping a count of the Iran hostage crisis.
Bush may just get frustrated enough to go back to Washington to get away from it all.
IIRC, he's going to NM on monday.
Folks, dont you think the troll may feed of the attention you give him?
Folks, dont you think the troll may feed of the attention you give him?
What attention?
Some trolls need the attention to validate their existences.
The poop troll on the other hand, doesn't want us around. He wants Atrios only. His goal is not to annoy us so much, as to provoke Atrios into action.
Make no mistake -- this troll is genuinely mentally ill.
I'll agree with that.
What is tis obsession with shit? though I am a SY-chi-A-tryst, I'm not familiar with this particular pathology.
It's very disturbing.
dont you think the troll may feed of the attention you give him?
For two and a half years?
No, that's mental illness.
anyhoo, on to more important things?
What adventures did you and the five-year old have today and what wildlife did you encounter?
I was shocked to see that your neighborhood has been invaded by fearsome orange tigers. It's simply terrifying!
• In Franklin County, 4,258 votes were cast for Bush in a precinct where there were only 800 registered voters............................................
..Wow,a miracle,just like Jesus' loaves and fishes.
Thersites, just out of curiousity (from your picture selection which i just noticed), are you female?
Reason to ask: I've been reading you for a long time and, well, just wondering...
If no response, no biggie...
No, that's mental illness.
I agree. He is a psychopath. He likely tortures small animals and will soon, if not already does, kill people for kicks.
In Franklin County, 4,258 votes were cast for Bush in a precinct where there were only 800 registered voters.
They just steal right out in the open, and they feel no guilt about it at all.
That's what happens when you mix religious fundamentalism with democracy.
I agree. He is a psychopath. He likely tortures small animals and will soon, if not already does, kill people for kicks.
Eh, isn't that giving attention?
The 4000 vote was interesting, but I found the 98% turnout in a heavily Bush county to be very suspicious as well.
I mean, seriously, was there any other county in the country with greater than, say, 60% turnout? This is America after all.
Thersites, just out of curiousity (from your picture selection which i just noticed), are you female?
No, he is a sy-chia-trist, and a sodomite.
• In Franklin County, 4,258 votes were cast for Bush in a precinct where there were only 800 registered voters............................................
..Wow,a miracle,just like Jesus' loaves and fishes.
In my mind, there was easily 118k vites moved to ensure a bush "victory". Not all that many for the shenenigans that were going on in Ohio.
"Well, a certain adolescent impulse for vandalism is kind of 'normal.'"
OOOOOh! OH oh ooh OH!!!! That's what i've got. I'm not a righty troll. I just have a certain incandescent pulse for Dadaism. And that's "normal."
Also, I'm back from my "yoga with kittens" class. But I won't be here long. Cause as soon as my flight lands i'll be back in Tangier. To find the woman who ran from the man with the violent umbrella.
Oh colonel, you are so skimpy in that cute outfit!
ACTION POSE!
I mean, seriously, was there any other county in the country with greater than, say, 60% turnout?
Miami, Fl had 98 percent turnout. So I hear.
I mean, seriously, was there any other county in the country with greater than, say, 60% turnout? This is America after all.
Perhaps that was the only county where their jeebus mind meld worked properly.
So, 98% turnout in Ohio and Florida. That's reassuring.
They cheated in florida again too.
I got to go to the fucking store to get some milk.
Thersites, just out of curiousity (from your picture selection which i just noticed), are you female?
The pic is the brilliant and beautiful Kirsty MacColl -- a gift to the human world, taken from us too soon.
I am a dad, three kids, my wife is NYMary, known in her own magnificent right around these parts.
smalfish, you should go to the milk store- not the fucking store.
Unless you want to get a fuck too.
If they can control 10,000s of votes, they need never let us win an election again. I would, were I Rove, advise them to let a few Liebercrats through to avoid suspicion, but...
I am a dad, three kids, my wife is NYMary, known in her own magnificent right around these parts.
I liked my description better. You sounded all mysterious and stuff.
What adventures did you and the five-year old have today and what wildlife did you encounter?
Ah. See homepage.
I liked my description better. You sounded all mysterious and stuff.
Well, you weren't inaccurate...
If they can control 10,000s of votes, they need never let us win an election again.
I believe that's what some of us have been saying.
There won't be any investigation or reform either because it won't suit them.
I'm absolutely certain that after they stole the election that tuesday, they all high-fived each other and had some beers. Then on Sunday they went to church and gave thanks for doing god's will.
I really, really hate them.
Thersites, you live in NYC? (If so, thinking of moving there....high school teacher. Think I can afford the move to Manhattan? I have no concept of actual living cost (besides rent pricing.))
I hate stolen votes and would vote to steal a vote stealer's thefter, lest he or she theft forever with that thefter what was stolen for which to purloin.
ACTION pose.
Also, Ohio as both den of iniquity and den of inequity. don't discuss.
Don't talk.
Don't even think.
just type like you mean it.
>NO.
Yes. dammit.
>NO.
You suck mightily.
>...
Ewwww! that's not what I meant!
>...
You taunt me with your eclipses.
>...
I know what they're called! How about you? Ever heard of artistic hunting licenses?
>...
fucking wise ass.
Greetings, lovely bats!
After a day of swimming, boozing and barbecuing, I'm pleased to offer Insomniac Central some screaming summer lemon cake.
well, study on this one.....
http://xymphora.blogspot.com/
Ah. See homepage.
How delightful!!
And not a fearsome tiger in sight. That must have been a relief.
Thersites--Mary describes you as 'a lout from Queens.'
Think I can afford the move to Manhattan? I have no concept of actual living cost (besides rent pricing.)
Unless you are independently wealthy, no.
Sallyh: "screaming summer lemon cake"?
mmmm... sounds good.
Have you heard from Curly's human?
Lab Coat Larry in the house!
'm pleased to offer Insomniac Central some screaming summer lemon cake.
Yummmmmmy!!
But why is it screaming? I prefer to eat quiet food.
4Legs--when you bite into it, the taste shrieks 'LEMON!'
And how is Maxx the Lion Kitty tonight? Is he stalking the wild prey of the alien carrot?
Lab Coat Larry in the house!
Maxx the lion kitty in the living room with a carrot!
four legs good: on 40,000 a year, no?
I'm really just curious...of course, I guess I would be willing to move to quiet areas beyond manhattan, but I know so little...and information on this is harder to find than one would believe, on the internet.
I'm not sure if the captain was able to pump my poop down. Maybe so. I'm pretty sure that other revelers used the head after me. But who knows what they found in there!
Gosh, "Life in These United States" sure has gone downhill since I was a kid.
Nick--a number of good souls in the Nashville area spoke with Jeffraham and he and Curly appear to be fine. For which I am deeply relieved.
And how is Maxx the Lion Kitty tonight? Is he stalking the wild prey of the alien carrot?
Indeed.
Thersites, you live in NYC? (If so, thinking of moving there....high school teacher. Think I can afford the move to Manhattan? I have no concept of actual living cost (besides rent pricing.))
Upstate NY, us. College perfessers, too.
Nobody can afford to live in Manhattan. Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, maybe.
I haven't perused the thread yet--has it been invaded by psychotic trolls tonight?
And not a fearsome tiger in sight. That must have been a relief.
Tigers are OK. Unlike the pumas. We need to get a shot of those...
After a day of swimming, boozing and barbecuing, I'm pleased to offer Insomniac Central some screaming summer lemon cake.
Sallyh | Email | Homepage | 08.07.05 - 1:53 am
Screaming summer lemon cake sounds as if it would complement my screaming all-season Rolling Rock quite well.
four legs good: on 40,000 a year, no?
Not unless you're willing to live in a 250 square foot apartment.
You could probably work in manhattan but not live there. Everything is more expensive- food, transportation, everything.
And plan on putting up first and last month's rent, plus a hefty security deposit just to get into an apartment.
sallyh,
I would LOVE me some screaming summer lemon cake....Love lemon cake, always!!
Perhaps that was the only county where their jeebus mind meld worked properly.
four legs good
A statement, which like a closely observed water fall, explains so very much.
They use dark magics, rites and troubles and false tools. THEY are without remorse.
They are the Jesus. Resistance is unlikely to be successful.
For they know their own minds enough to know they need no minds to function. They funtion together. They funtion forever. For never without fundamentalism shall we be. So fundamental it is. When times are tough. When water and food held behind the walls of NEED CASH FOR THIS YO but the greenery is crashing cause we didn't pitchfork the fuckers right away for brandishing smoketowers against our skies.
fail for heroes now.
Sally- that's good. I was pretty behind the curve on all that, & dropped him an email Fri AM he hasn't yet returned... so I wasn't sure if he was on the road or what.
Ok, moonbats.
It is my time to move off into the night.
My bed awaits.
G'night.
Yes, the thread has been invaded. But there have been two Plame revelations tonight.
Sallyh, not necessarily psychotic trolls, but definitely schatological ones.
Unless you want to get a fuck too.
Well......
haven't perused the thread yet--has it been invaded by psychotic trolls tonight?
If you have to ask, you don't visit enough.
Seebach--catch me up here; I've been relaxing all day. It's been therapeutic.
I haven't perused the thread yet--has it been invaded by psychotic trolls tonight?
Sallyh | Email | Homepage | 08.07.05 - 2:00 am
Sounds like your wholesome summer day might be ruined if you wade back into the cesspool left by the whacko with a penchant for scat.
I think Democrats tend not to repeat things often enough as Republicans, so our points don't drill themselves into your skull quite as well.
I would add that this meg with hands, is ready for some treatment as well.
Sarah--cake? It's lemon.
Seebach--catch me up here; I've been relaxing all day. It's been therapeutic.
Judy Miller met with Scooter Libby 2 days after Wilson's op-ed.
Fitzgerald is very, very interested. I think he's trying to catch him a Cheney.
hey! who took my practice kitten?! they'll never give me a real one if I have to tell them I lost it. Whoever took my practice kitten GIVE IT BACK.
Don't make me action pose your ass.
1) Judith Miller's source is most likely Scooter Libby- he hasn't provided her with a personal waiver to her satisfaction
2) The asst attourney general, or whomever Fitzgerald must report to, may be replaced by a Bush Yale Skull and Bones pal, who would be in a position to pass Fitzgerald's case along to administration officials to aid in evidence hidery.
Lemon cake for all who desire. Goes well with, as we learned today, strawberry daiquiris, chardonnay, Shiraz...
okay, dear people: I will have me one more coffin nail, then I will lay my aging gray head down to rest.
May you all sleep well - or, given EST time, perhaps a lovely morning.
Anyroad - goddess bless, and may all that is lovely fall like flower petals on your sweet heads.
SD
I wonder how dear Judy is sleeping in jail tonight?
I hope there are little roachies scurrying about her cell.
No lemon cake for her!!
Seebach, 4Leggers--now that's worthy of celebrating 
meg seems kind of, well, disoriented.
The asst attourney general, or whomever Fitzgerald must report to, may be replaced by a Bush Yale Skull and Bones pal, who would be in a position to pass Fitzgerald's case along to administration officials to aid in evidence hidery.
That won't work. There are too many reporters on the hunt here, and too many hungry young doj lawyers who know too much.
They won't be able to stop this.
hey! who took my practice kitten?! they'll never give me a real one if I have to tell them I lost it. Whoever took my practice kitten GIVE IT BACK.
Don't make me action pose your ass.
meg with hands | 08.07.05 - 2:07 am
Sounds like someones been munching on the magic fungus that grows in cow shit.
The one thing that worries me is that Fitzgerald may be uncorruptible, but he's not immortal. Or bulletproof. Or airplane crash proof.
I take the second part back--I don't think having an S+B dude in there would be, you know, helpful.
Seebach, 4Leggers--now that's worthy of celebrating
Fucking haloscan.
I want these fuckers broke and in prison.
I would add that this meg with hands, is ready for some treatment as well.
©smalfish scarer of trolls
why? do you never tire of firing synapses in a sensible order? do you never long for the release of a pretend crazy?
Hey! are you the one who took my practice kitten? If you took it out of some sense that I can't handle the responsibility, i'll have you know that all my faculties are here and accounted for. You know, except the purple one with the lacy trim.
damn.
meg--you might choose to do your LSD trips in another environment.
I take the second part back--I don't think having an S+B dude in there would be, you know, helpful.
I think it's too late for them to stop this. I really do.
Too many people know what happened. They can't kill them all.
4Legs--you wouldn't think so, but I've come to believe that this regime is capable of anything.
So I'm watching "Alien vs. Predator."
"And that's your own damn fault," I hear you say.
I'm inclined to agree....
I wonder how dear Judy is sleeping in jail tonight?
Oh how I hope she is not sleeping at all. Along with not eating. Nothing but the worst for that bitch.
Thersites--Alien v. Predator? Damn, I knew I was missing some quality TV.
What worries me most is some kind of bipartisan agreement to go after Fitzgerald. He's going after democrats in Chicago, he's going after Republicans in DC. What if both parties come together to allow their respective corruptions to continue?
meg--you might choose to do your LSD trips in another environment.
Sallyh |
Sallyh, I can NEVER resist just one more glance...and this comment of yours creacked me up.
I suppose it's the main reason why I...NEVER resist just one more glance
So I'm watching "Alien vs. Predator."
"And that's your own damn fault," I hear you say.
I'm inclined to agree....
Me too.
Too many people know what happened. They can't kill them all.
You know, as I was reading the Harpers article, I got the same kind of question rolling around what I call a brain.
How could the rebbs et so many to do their heavy lifting? ANd the answer immediatly popped up. The fanatical and ultra loyal rebublicans that have no ethics or morals. All they want is to gain and hold power at any cost.
We are truely in a constitutional crisies when there are people who are willing to do anything to hold onto power.
Sarah dear, you've got to admit, she's not exactly reality based.
Sweet dreams and kind thoughts.
Meg -
I'm kinda worried bout you. You do know that it is unadvisable to smoke herb while tripping balls, right?
To the sane -
S+B appointment: you know, if I had a nickle for every instance where the GOoPers should be cooked and wind up getting bailed out by media complicity and citizen inattention . . . The de-railment of Fitzgerald would illicit a "Who's Fitzgerald" from the local rednecks. I want to believe that Fitzgerald has uncovered so much treasonous horseshit that a bureaucratic manuever could not thwart him, but I also thought that lying to get us into war would lead to civil unrest.
Lab Coat Larry--makes you wonder if they ARE putting something in the water, doesn't it?
The potential to screw with Fitzgerald is again why I insist that the AIPAC scandal be given merit also. Here we have a scandal that would lead to Richard Perle or John Bolton called to testify, and who knows, potential indictments.
And many people theorize the two scandals will dovetail into the Niger forgeries.
Bolton could be involved in both Plame and AIPAC. So you have a pincer, from both sides. The potential is delicious.
Sounds like someones been munching on the magic fungus that grows in cow shit.
Lab Coat Larry
fucking hell. I go away for a few moments and... the next person who makes any mention of poo, scat, shit, or any other form of excremental torpitude is going to find his or her tender bits baked into a carrot cake and fed to dear leader's oft-dropped doggie.
OFT DROPPED DOGGIE! are you listening?
i mean TENDER BITS BAKED INTO A CARROT CAKE. are you listening?
I have to admit the potential to see Bolton's walrus pussy-tickler soaked in tears as he is frog-marched out of a courtroom is sublime.
Robin Quivers has just made friends with some sort of Rastafarian space trout, and I believe I am expected to applaud this development.
How could the rebbs et so many to do their heavy lifting? ANd the answer immediatly popped up. The fanatical and ultra loyal rebublicans that have no ethics or morals. All they want is to gain and hold power at any cost.
Many of them believe that they're doing god's work.
Meg--please, just leave. Thank you.
Many of them believe that they're doing god's work.
four legs good | Email | Homepage | 08.07.05 - 2:24 am
I once read that these space cadets have a lapel-pin worn under the lapel that they show to fellow "true believers."
Like a secret club handshake or some silly shit like that.
seriously, has nobody seen my practice kitten?
nobody?
Sallyh
A slice of lemon cake would be good while I watch "Tremors" on the SciFi channel right now. I've almost got the movie memorized.
Robin Quivers has just made friends with some sort of Rastafarian space trout, and I believe I am expected to applaud this development.
Space trout are prickly creatures. Quivers should be congratulated.
In other news, Maxx is still keeping the world safe from alien carrots, who would surely subjugate us all without his ceaseless efforts.
You do know that it is unadvisable to smoke herb while tripping balls, right?
Is this a clinical/physiology kind of observation, or simply one made in the psycho-spiritual sense?
Simply intellectually, ahem, curious.
I once read that these space cadets have a lapel-pin worn under the lapel that they show to fellow "true believers."
It's true.
They're insane.
Toonscribe--Tremors? you must have cable, not satellite--we're not seeing it.
Is this a clinical/physiology kind of observation, or simply one made in the psycho-spiritual sense?
Simply intellectually, ahem, curious.
Dr. Cb, Always learning | 08.07.05 - 2:28 am
To paraphrase Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop: I might have fractured a law or two once.
Meg--please, just leave. Thank you.
Sallyh
i'll stop posting but i won't leave just yet. i'm just reading the random - and committing it- while doing some research elsewise. sorry you are so easily offended by disorganized musings in posts you could easily skip over with your very own set of eyes.
Were Meg in my class, I'd be on the phone to campus emergency services advising transport to the mental health unit at the local hospital.
Toonscribe--Tremors? you must have cable, not satellite--we're not seeing it.
Fuck haloscan.
Tremors was on sci-fi here earlier. Toonscribe must be on the west coast.
Lion kitty and I watched Spiderman 2 earlier. I was rather surprised.
Toons--we have the DVD!
But Monsieur wishes to view 'The Fifth Element.' No appreciation for fine cinema!
Sallyh
Yep. Cable. The doctor and his wife are about to be eaten by the graboids.
But Monsieur wishes to view 'The Fifth Element.' No appreciation for fine cinema!
I actually like that movie. I know I shouldn't, but I do.
Lab Coat Larry now departs.
Wife getting irritated by my non-presence and all that.
The doctor and his wife are about to be eaten by the graboids.
I like the film where the graboids have mutated into ass-blasters.
I don't want to watch 'The Fifth Element.' I should take the 'Tremors' DVD into the bedroom shortly and enjoy, although it's not the same without the cheesy commercials.
Oh nice. The space trout gave Quivers a gigantic retractable spork in gratitude for dispatching an evil squid. They did not however provide a ride home.
Well, that all made sense.
I'm watching Terminator 3. Skynet has just taken control.
I must admit, meg's posts make more sense than those of the average Bush-supporter troll. Though I guess that's not saying much.
They did not however provide a ride home.
Bastards!!!
Dr. Cb--you've set the bar awfully low, dude.
This film is boring.
4Legs--we're boycotting any and all Ahnuld.
I, too, enjoy The Fifth Element. A guilty pleasure. A few weeks ago I saw a Honda Element with the vanity plate 6TH ELEMENT.
Actually I have both Tremors and The 5th Element on DVD, but I can't resist watching them when I stumble across them on tv. Don't know why.
Lion kitty and I watched Spiderman 2 earlier. I was rather surprised.
By the decision to permit nuclear fission experiments somewhere in midtown Manhattan? Or by the nonexistent 14th street elevated train to nowhere?
you've set the bar awfully low, dude.
I know. That's so I can reach it.
I should take the 'Tremors' DVD into the bedroom shortly and enjoy, although it's not the same without the cheesy commercials.
If you don't have a TV in the bedroom, I'll be worried about you...
Toons--there's just something about a cheesy movie that begs for commercials.
Before crashing, here's something for the trolls to read as they lick President AWOL's ass.
Exclusive: CIA Commander: We Let bin Laden Slip Away
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8853...0/site/
newsweek
Newsweek
Aug. 15, 2005 issue - During the 2004 presidential campaign, George W. Bush and John Kerry battled about whether Osama bin Laden had escaped from Tora Bora in the final days of the war in Afghanistan. Bush, Kerry charged, "didn't choose to use American forces to hunt down and kill" the leader of Al Qaeda. The president called his opponent's allegation "the worst kind of Monday-morning quarterbacking." Bush asserted that U.S. commanders on the ground did not know if bin Laden was at the mountain hideaway along the Afghan border.
But in a forthcoming book, the CIA field commander for the agency's Jawbreaker team at Tora Bora, Gary Berntsen, says he and other U.S. commanders did know that bin Laden was among the hundreds of fleeing Qaeda and Taliban members. Berntsen says he had definitive intelligence that bin Laden was holed up at Tora Bora—intelligence operatives had tracked him—and could have been caught. "He was there," Berntsen tells NEWSWEEK. Asked to comment on Berntsen's remarks, National Security Council spokesman Frederick Jones passed on 2004 statements from former CENTCOM commander Gen. Tommy Franks. "We don't know to this day whether Mr. bin Laden was at Tora Bora in December 2001," Franks wrote in an Oct. 19 New York Times op-ed. "Bin Laden was never within our grasp." Berntsen says Franks is "a great American. But he was not on the ground out there. I was."
etc.
----
This has been known for some time, but it's nice to see corporate media giving it a little play. They seem to have made an adjustment to their valuation of options on Shrub's future.
-
Thersites--a bedroom without a TV is incomplete.
By the decision to permit nuclear fission experiments somewhere in midtown Manhattan? Or by the nonexistent 14th street elevated train to nowhere?
Silly english major.
Those were fusion experiments. Big difference. I was suprised that the evil son of the evil guy from the first movie was storing some dangerous element that doesn't exist in his penthouse apartment.
The chick with the orange hair speaking gibberish and wrapped in bandages always kind of weirds me out.
I'm watching Terminator 3. Skynet has just taken control.
Skynet lost its frightening edge after Enron. Skynet, Cali people reasoned, they could handle...
And they elected a gigantic piece of polystyrene as some sort of giant national head-fake.
HEY! I just watched space trout give Robin Quivers a spork! ANYTHING is possible!
4 Legs Good
I like the ass-blasters in Tremors 3. My 11 year old son is partial to the shriekers of Tremors 2. My heart, however, belongs to the original Tremors.
If you don't have a TV in the bedroom, I'll be worried about you...
Actually I don't.
I have a TV, but it's not hooked up. Mostly because this complex doesn't have cable hookups in the bedroom and they won't let me install one.
The chick with the orange hair speaking gibberish and wrapped in bandages always kind of weirds me out.
Ann Coulter does have that effect on people.
Quentin--the author needs to avoid small planes and boats. Just saying.
HEY! I just watched space trout give Robin Quivers a spork! ANYTHING is possible!
I always knew that sporks were alien inventions.
My heart, however, belongs to the original Tremors.
It's my favorite film too.
But I do like the assblasters.
you've set the bar awfully low, dude.
I know. That's so I can reach it.
As long as it has good Irish.
I must admit, meg's posts make more sense than those of the average Bush-supporter troll. Though I guess that's not saying much.
Dr. Cb, Practice doctor
um, okay. sorry. just have to respond to that. not a bush supporter. random, yes, when the moment suits me and especially when working my ass/brain off late. crazy? not really. ardent lefty, actually. why else would i get my random here, for muffin's sake? you are not truly so paranoid because of the shit-throwers as to suspect every deviant of having untoward purposes, are you?
Sallyh: did you read my posts at all, or just took them as different and ran away?
Now I'm watching Once Upon a Time in Mexico.
This is boring me too.
Meg--I read them, and found them very incoherent, admittedly.
Those were fusion experiments. Big difference.
Oh sure. THOSE are cool in, like, SoHo lofts. Happen alla time.
Oh, that's awesome, QuentinCompson. I'll add that to my obnoxious compilation.
I like Meg. She reminds me of many people I know.
Toons--there's just something about a cheesy movie that begs for commercials.
Sallyh
I know what you mean. I also feel that way about cartoons. I'll get tapes or DVDs of some of the stuff I've written and it just doesn't seem right somehow -- not until I see it later when it's finally on the TV with commercials and everything.
Toons--My heart belongs to the original as well, although we own the entire series and have laughed through all of them.
Seebach--I'm not saying that Meg's a bad person. But I'm a mathematician, and it's, well, disconcerting.
you are not truly so paranoid because of the shit-throwers as to suspect every deviant of having untoward purposes, are you?
I could replace "you" with you, and "deviant" with me, and this comment would probably make more sense.
Now I'm watching National Geographic Channel- mega weather.
Oh damn. Just tsunamis. I want to see some thunder and mega lightning. Or maybe a big tornado.
Oh sure. THOSE are cool in, like, SoHo lofts. Happen alla time.
I think they're more likely in the meat-packing district.
I could be wrong though.
Sallyh
Did you ever watch the Tremors tv series? I believe there were two seasons. I found it enjoyable because it sort of followed the movies.
Did you ever watch the Tremors tv series? I believe there were two seasons. I found it enjoyable because it sort of followed the movies.
I watched it- it wasn't bad.
Toons--but of course! Monsieur wouldn't have missed it for the world!
Does anyone want some chocolate ice cream?
4Legs--here, here!
Please!
I have now turned on the Fifth Element too.
Monsieur shows a discrminating taste.
Please!
Do you want some peanut butter with it?
4Legs--yes, yes, yes, please!
Now I can understand that she has orange hair, but I never could understand why she has roots.
Toons--he actually watches a lot of good cinema. He and Mademoiselle love foreign film, drama, and the classics.
4Legs--bad dye job.
Even'n (hmm, how is that spelled?) batses with whom I have apparently many ideological differences. I can play farm film report and give a big 4 thumbs up to the two films I saw tonight: Murderball (the documentary about quadriplegic rugby) and the new Jarmusch/Murray flick Broken Flowers. I was amazed to see people lined up at the small arthouse theatre, and even moreso that the line was for Jarmusch! Good on him! I actually saw both because we walked into the wrong theatre during previews and didn't realize till too late, so we hung around for the next show.
Murderball has both an engaging and amazing story and cast of characters and a great camera POV as most of it is shot from wheelchair level. It is very much the kind of film that makes you laugh through your discomfort and see once again that folks is jus' folks.
Broken Flowers is a bit odd in a very Jarmuschian manner and very funny. Murray is as excellent as he has been in his last several films in achieving new levels of stoic understatement. My only personal nit was the cinematography - Jarmusch used a very cool palette, washed out colors and flat lighting to drain most of the scenes of life and light - not inconsistent with the tone at all, but the result was that many scenes were fairly dark. Of course I could have simply been annoyed by the guy with the giant head who sat right in front of me, obliterating a sizeable chunk of the screen. Regardless, it is more droll than wacky or frenetic, but very satisfying.
Chocolate ice cream? Oh, yes, please.
This is turning into a good movie night.
Oh, no, Sallyh. I understand. Some of my companions are rather... disconcerting. But people who speak like my thought processes don't seem as bizarre to me, I think. Heh.
JeffCO--perfect timing! We're apparently discussing cinema--the good, the bad, and the hideous
Seebach--you have a much more flexible brain than I do
Hah- the ticketgirl (ok, no longer a girl, but not yet a woman...) who rather generously let us into the second movie for free I just realized bears a decent resemblance to Mila Jovavich (in a very good way), though her hair was much more in the magenta range than electric tangerine. Striking cut as well.
So what's been the verdict on the hideous? (I suppose I could do a bit of scrolling....)
evenin' moonbats!
Lemon cake, with honeybutter, pure honey, and strawberry jelly.
And a glass of choclate milk.
The sugar rush is toooo much. You'll walk in circles just to level out.
Anyways firends the Fitzgerald case already has a statement ready- if they event hink about cutting him loose he'll release the full monty.
We could honestly have the Hague issue, in effect, a vote of confidence.
Think about it- the etire world ready to bring up sanctions, the Hague issuing warrants for Bushco, and people like Friedman saying, 'well shit let's give 'em the chimp's head, I got these here investments to take care of...'
Mars Karma, Bitches!
Chocolate ice cream for everyone!!
I think Thersites wins though. He's watching the worst movie of all.
Toons--he actually watches a lot of good cinema. He and Mademoiselle love foreign film, drama, and the classics.
Sallyh
I'm the same way -- everything from cheesy scifi to foreign and the classics. Not a film snob -- but I do insist that a film stay true to its own expectations of itself.
Pork Chop Giblets...
Hey Cheneyburton, when are you and daughter Elizabeth going to own up to your roles in outing Plame?
The poop troll is Gordon.
As to Air America.
1) This involves Evan Cohen, the Republican and con man who left the entire operation's dick in the wind. The guy was a crook. He defrauded the investors of Air America. That he defrauded someone else, while newsworthy and certainly scandalous, is not a scandal that really touches on the ethics of Air America.
2) The money may or may not have been funnelled to Air America.
3) Air America is paying back the money anyway.
4) The charity and not Air America is be investigated.
Boy, chocolate ice cream and peanut butter is delicious!!
Toons--I'll be shot for saying this, but Monsieur's guilty pleasure is Busby Berkeley musicals. He loves those.
Me, I just get bored.
I dunno, I think ACTION POSE! makes a damn good rallying cry.
I think Thersites wins though. He's watching the worst movie of all.
No, that ended. With the ridiculous Swiss Army Space Knife presentation.
Aaaaaaahrg.
He is a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, a licensed psychologist in California, and is listed in Who's Who in Medicine and Healthcare. He also has a long list of honorary doctorates from various institutions.
Dobson has also served at the invitation of presidents and attorneys general on government advisory panels and testified at several government hearings.hisstorymn |
Sounds like Dobson may have been trhe source on Plame since he's listed in Who's Who. (/Novak)
Thersites--they throwing in a Veg-O-Matic?
Sallyh
While I'm not a big fan of Busby Berkley, I've got some friends who are. What Busby did was not my cup of tea, but my friends have convinced me that he deserves a place in film history and anyone who claims to know anything about film should see them at least once. So I did -- once.
Mr. Murder--I'm more inclined to think it was a regime official. Dobson has his own axes to grind. Plame would not likely be of interest to him.
Here's another scary movie plot for the SciFi channel: Sea Blob.
Toons--I won't deny Berkeley had style. It's just not my style
As for films being true to their expectations, I think that explains my love for Scifi Saturday Night Original Movies. They're not great cinema, and they don't try to be!
Ah - I see we have been visited once more by the poo fairy. I think I like them better when they just fling poo rather than obsess tediously and creepily in the most Freudian ways over it.
I have yet to make up my mind on the 5th Element, despite repeated viewings (including now). I'm a fan of Besson, loved Leon (of course) and La Femme Nikita, and I've even watched Jovovich in his Joan of Arc pic. This one's a lot of fun, but I'm always left at the end feeling something was missing. Still fun though.
Here's another scary movie plot for the SciFi channel: Sea Blob.
Excellent!
JeffCO--our dear trolls--proving once again that fecal incontinence is no laughing matter!
Best dreams, batses, and enjoy the cake; it's on the counter.
Here's another scary movie plot for the SciFi channel: Sea Blob. Incog
I thought the sea blob made a terrifically symbolic and fascinating closing scene for La Dolce Vita. Glad to see it's finally getting more work.
SH -- I wouldn't watch Alien v Predator again even with a good bottle and good friends, even if at the end the heroine gets a commemorative souvenier corkscrew from a space trout with unwiped mandibles.
SH -- I wouldn't watch Alien v Predator again even with a good bottle and good friends, even if at the end the heroine gets a commemorative souvenier corkscrew from a space trout with unwiped mandibles.
well, that's good enough for me.
meg, thees how-joo-say
"keety een pants weeth hands"
she ees no muy mal, no?
¿eh?
so.
As for films being true to their expectations, I think that explains my love for Scifi Saturday Night Original Movies. They're not great cinema, and they don't try to be!
Sallyh
Yeah. That's what I like about them, too. They're throw-backs to the great days of the Fifties and the SciFi "B" films of that era.
"keety een pants weeth hands"
she ees no muy mal, no?
I prefer a kitty in boots.
ˇEl Gato Negro! - you would especially enjoy Jessica Lange's work in Broken Flowers - she is an animal communicator and does a little tabby scene.
¡Maldito!
Thees thrrread she ees like the weend.
...and los trollitos, they brrreak eet, no?
so.
Wassup, yo?
Poltergeists make up the principal type of spontaneous material manifestation.
hey're throw-backs to the great days of the Fifties and the SciFi "B" films of that era.
They're also really, really stupid.
My theory is that we enjoy watching films about ludicrous 54-foot mummies because they're really no dumber than the real threats of our real government, and at least we know they'll be over by 11...
hey're throw-backs to the great days of the Fifties and the SciFi "B" films of that era.
This Island Earth! I love that movie.
Poltergeists make up the principal type of spontaneous material manifestation.
Uh, NO.
Poltergeists make up the Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs type of spontaneous material manifestation.
This Island Earth! I love that movie.
Ever heard the song by The Goops of that title?
Man, the Goops were a great band...
Poltergeists make up the Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs type of spontaneous material manifestation.
Thersites
I defer to your greater knowledge. SO you people watch some kind of terrible movie, huh?
El Jefe.CO&trade,
Estoy pendiente de esta escenaria weeth how-joo-say "The Brrreath of Bait".
so.
I admit I missed the one about the 54-foot mummies, but was it any stupider than The Attack of the 50-Foot Woman? The original, I mean -- not the remake with, I believe, Darryl Hannah.
yes sally agreed, already understood so, but Novak and his ilk will start feeding off one antoher, the cannibals will come out over this
they need distraction and blame , the ranks are growing thin to choose from
pass the popcorn... good evening all!
Ever heard the song by The Goops of that title?
No, sir. But I've heard "The Oven is My Friend" by the Church Police.
SO you people watch some kind of terrible movie, huh?
No, we live it, with less of a budget.
Ok, now I'm remembering one thing I didn't like about this film- Chris Tucker can take any scene and make it suckier.
No, we live it, with less of a budget.
Thersites
I think I'm stuck in Rivette's Paris Nous Appartient. Either that, or Kiss Me Deadly.
"Life is a bad French movie" -- my remark to some friends after coming out of a showing of Bertrand Blier's "Going Places." I love that movie.
I admit I missed the one about the 54-foot mummies, but was it any stupider than The Attack of the 50-Foot Woman?
Oh, it was rock-bottom stupid. Eli will remember the title... it featured Tom Bosley as a wise Jewish sage and a wicker Exerciser possessed by the Dark Gods of Space. And a guy that looks like Glenn Danzig in a role that won't surprise you.
SO you people watch some kind of terrible movie, huh?
No, we live it, with less of a budget.
ˇBut the Theme music, eet ees el Fantastico!
so.
Oh, it was rock-bottom stupid. Eli will remember the title... it featured Tom Bosley as a wise Jewish sage and a wicker Exerciser possessed by the Dark Gods of Space. And a guy that looks like Glenn Danzig in a role that won't surprise you.
Thersites
Ever see a movie called "The Cremators"? Indescribably awful, and didn't even seem to have been edited into the correct sequence.
It was still better than Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have it," though.
Chris Tucker can take any scene and make it suckier.
But he is the target I believe of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force "MC Pee Pants" character.
Ultimately.
When I was a kid, the movie that creeped me out the most was The Incredible Shrinking Man. Gave me nightmares.
Any Democrat Candidate for any office, be it dog catcher or President, who campaign is the normal Demcrat line "Vote for me, I am a Demcrat!" should told to get the hell out of the way. We do not have room on any ballot who does not have the guts to stand up to these right-wing assholes.
I am informed Cindy Sheehan is the frontpage topic on AOL's welcoming screen.
It was still better than Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have it," though.
So is a botched tracheotomy. But it does beat those later films by that schmuck who did "The Brothers McMullen," a halfway decent movie, assuming you were drunk when you first saw it.
I enjoyed Jimmy Carter's work in The Pepsi Syndrome. Damn good of him to absorb all that radioactivity and grow to enormous proportions to save us all. No wonder the thugs hate him.
Christ almighty..."The Cremators" is actually on DVD.
I can't get "The Seventh Victim" or "Spirit of the Beehive" or "Confessions of an Opium Eater" or "Tarnished Angels." But I can get "The Cremators." Hooray! The free market works!
I thought Brothers McMullen was pretty decent for a first film. Unfortunately, whatever promise was there I have yet to see fulfilled. Speaking of which, what the hell happened to the woman who made The Tao of Steve? I enjoyed that one a lot, though maybe that was all Donal Logue's doing.
Woody
DORIS:
You have no values. Your whole life, it's nihilism, it's cynicism, it's sarcasm, and orgasm.
HARRY:
Y'know, in France I could run on that slogan and win.
(from Deconstructing Harry)
But it does beat those later films by that schmuck who did "The Brothers McMullen," a halfway decent movie, assuming you were drunk when you first saw it.
I think the worst movie I ever saw was this thing called "L'ange." It started out with a peasant woman dropping a pitcher of milk, shot from every conceivable angle for about ten minutes. Then some costumed French fop fenced with a sack of grain for what seemed like an hour. The last twenty minutes or so consisted of occasional flashes.
Other than that, the worst movie ever made is "Wired." Hands down. If you haven't seen it, run right out and get it. You won't believe your eyes.
I just got a call from the free market...
Yes, it's deliberately fucking with Phila's head.
This will cause some ructions at the U of Chicago -- apparently, the market exists solely to perplex Phila.
Makes as much sense as anything else.
This will cause some ructions at the U of Chicago -- apparently, the market exists solely to perplex Phila.
Sounds about right to me. Whatever happened to Schweppes' ginger beer?
So many things are considered "the most important thing you could read" that such a description becomes almost meaningless. What happens if it is true? Then how are you to be believed?
I am a funny bad movie and Some grumpy scot would like to bury me fo-eva.
I have spokem. spoken.
Apparently, I'm wrong about "L'Ange" being the worst cinematic experience ever.
"As the film opens, a fencer jabs and throttles a hanging dolls from what seems to be scores of different positions. We see the action from down a dark hallway, as well as in the room itself. The action plays both forward and in reverse. Bokanowski is doing more here than just playing with form. In L'Ange, form itself becomes a character. Each repetition carries as much weight as the one that came before it, until a consistent flow of continuity (be it fractured and weighted dramatically) issues from the images...L'Ange is a supremely executed work of art, one of the finest films ever made, and quite possibly the pinnacle of experimentalism in the film arts."
What a crock of hog drippings.
Actually, I like Zardoz.
Say it after me: "The penis is evil! The gun is good!"
Sounds about right to me. Whatever happened to Schweppes' ginger beer?
We drank Canada dry.
Thousands perished in the crisp, refreshing drought.
the tortoise, moves slowly, across the plain.
Anyone ever see that movie about Nostradamus that came out about ten years ago? That was unbearable. Lots of softcore sex, and Nostradamus sees the Zapruder film in a vision, at one point. How fucking lame is that?
L'Ange is a supremely executed work of art, one of the finest films ever made, and quite possibly the pinnacle of experimentalism in the film arts
The guy who wrote this was obviously auditioning for George Lucas.
We've all been used and reused...
...and abused...
...and amused! (haha)
New thread -- worst movie ever edition
The guy who wrote this was obviously auditioning for George Lucas.
Thersites
I thought all you had to do to get a job with Lucas was explain that you were "following your bliss."
Unfortunately, my bliss realized it was being followed and gave me the slip.
When I was a kid, the movie that creeped me out the most was The Incredible Shrinking Man. Gave me nightmares.
Toonscribe | Email | 08.07.05 - 3:38 am | # ................................Me too,plus "I Am Legend",with Vincent Price.I think Matheson wrote them both,but not too sure.
"Come out Neville"....hackle raising stuff.
I thought all you had to do to get a job with Lucas was explain that you were "following your bliss."
And that you had sand in your underwear.
I Am Legend is great. I didn't see it, though, until I was in high school.
"The difference between Clinton and Dean is that Clinton had a slight understanding of how to protect this nation. Dean wants to surrender in the War on Terror.
Gary Ruppert | Homepage | 08.07.05 - 12:38 am | # "
This is the biggest bullshit going, along with the DLC contention that Dems are weak on National Security. I wish one of these fuckin' trolls would cite some specifics. What form is the surrender? I know chimpie invaded Iraq and that certainly made everyone more secure in the GWOT(or is GSAVE?). What should Governor Dean recommend? Invading Ecuador? I know chimpie wants to fight only those countries he knows the US can whip. Pakistan? No, not Pakistan. Saudi Arabia? No, no Saudi Arabia. Iran? Well, maybe, the incursion in Iraq is going so well, Iran could be next.
This is a very amusing and very insightful satire. Laugh or cry or both.
The better term is - the fighting Dems (Hackett, Clark, dailykos) vs. Peter Beinart - a 4-star general - lol, The New republic, the DLC and their corporate masters.
A MUST READ.
"SEN. EVAN BAYH PROPOSES A DEMOCRATIC LEADERSHIP COUNCIL COMMISSION TO FIND OUT WHO CASTRATED DEMOCRATS"
Check out this one too
"DEMOCRATS NOMINATE WARNER FOR HIS AMERICA HATES DEMOCRATS CANDID TALK"
How do these guys think they can be the Democratic nominee? Let me guess, they will say "we were misquoted" or some bullshit like that.
There IS a divide, between the the rank and file and the Democratic Party consultants and bureaucrats. The first wants a party that represents their interest. The second wants to retain control of the Party and thus keep their jobs and pricey consultancies. The first has every interest in a Party that is grass roots in nature, funded by small donations, with an agenda that reflects their general will. The second has no interest in bottom-up fundraising and agenda-setting since it will only dilute their control and importance. Much better to have large-donor funded campaigns focusing on big ad buys and professional spin-doctoring. It's what keeps creeps like Bob Schrum rolling in dough from one losing campaign to the next. The fact that the agenda-setters are all wealthy white guys doesn't help any either.
It is a mistake to think that the conservatism of the DLC and such like is based on an incorrect political calculation, though they try to present it as such by way of a fundamentally elitist and misanthropic disquisitions on Americans and their opinions. Liberals, so often the vain, preening narcissists George Bush wants Middle America to think they are, are very susceptible to any appeal that places them in an exalted position with respect to their neighbors. So when party bigwigs tell them that Americans will never support single payer national health insurance or stem cell research , they believe it.
Rank and file Democrats need to lose this misanthropy since, one, its both inaccurate and reactionary, and two, it's what puts war-mongering, prison building, free-trade supporting scumbags like Kerry in place to lose elections on our behalf.
The DLC is the Politburo of the Party consultant scum and needs to be soundly and repeatedly rejected until they go away. This includes Saint Hillary, who despite her unbroken record of Republican enabling these past terrible years, is mystifyingly beloved to people who should by now know better.
Please visit my immobilien site:
Wohnung, - Aachen, Aachen - Berlin, Berlin - Bochum, Bochum
ho
YES, I HAVE A RATHER SIMPLE OPEN & SHUT MATTER FOR YOU, EXPIRIENCED ATTY. TO HANDLE. PLEASE; LET ME ELABORATE: I, ERIC "RICK" TAB NADEL, AT AGE 37, DOES A) STILL LIVES WITH HIS ELDERLY PARENTS & PAYS FOR RENT & ELETRIC TO THEM MONTHLY, & I DO HOLD IN OWNERSHIP THE US PATENT 5788648. THIS IS ALL FINE & GOOD; ALTHOUGH I REQUEST A CALL TO 786-268-7030 OR 786-473-2307 THIS WEDNESDAY, DURING OFFICE HOURS, I REQUEST, A SIMPLE ENVOY TO CALL ME ON MY CELLULAR, &TAKE NOTES FOR OVERTONES OF PERSONAL & FINANCIAL GUARDIANSNIP, MY CORPORATION; QUANTUM DEVICES INC (OF FLORIDA) TAX I.D. 65-0885878 & BEING ABLE TO HAVE PERSONAL ACCESS TO MY MONIES GENERATED BY BOTH MY COMPANY & ITS MULTI-MEDIA 9 PARRALLEL PROCCESSING SERVER, IN ADDITION TO GAINING ACCESS TO THE MAINFRAME OF QUANTUM DEVICES INC (OF FL-TAX I'D 65-088587
I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO LEGALLY ACCESS MY PERSONAL MAINFRAME GENERATED FUNDS OF QUANTUM DEVICES INC; BY RE-ACQUIRING PERSONAL FINANCIAL & LIQID EQUITIES "SITTING," & WAITING TO BE CLAIMED BY THE PRESIDENT & CO-TREASURER OF QUANTUM DEVICES INC, FOR I AM A MOST FUNCTIONAL AND RESPONSIBLE 37 YEAR OLD & MY PARENTS ARE BEGGINNING TO NEUROLOGICALLY DECAY. I MUST MOVE ON WITH MY PERSONAL LIFE AT 37+ YEARS, AS MUCH AS I LOVE MY PARENTS.
TO REVIEW.PATENT 5788648 GOTO WWW.USPTO.GOV & SEE SOME OF MY WORK, LET ALONE THE MAINFRAME I BUILT.
BY GOING TO GOOGLE; & ENTERING IN, AS AN EMMISSARY, IN QUOTES, THEY ARE NECESSARY FOR USE: ENTER: "QUANTUM DEVICES INC" FL" & SEE THE OVER 200 PIECES OF EQUITIES I WANT TO COLLECT UPON, WITH YOUR FIRMS HELP, OF COURSE.
PLEASE; DO CALL ME THIS WEDNESDAY AT EITHER MY CELLULAR: 786-473-2307, OR MY HOME/BUSINESS PHONE AT 786-268-7030. MY, ERIC "RICK" TAB NADEL'S FAX IS AVAILABLE TOO, AT 786-268-7070.
WELL, MUCH THANKS;
-"RICK"
YES, I HAVE A RATHER SIMPLE OPEN & SHUT MATTER FOR YOU, EXPIRIENCED ATTY. TO HANDLE. PLEASE; LET ME ELABORATE: I, ERIC "RICK" TAB NADEL, AT AGE 37, DOES A) STILL LIVES WITH HIS ELDERLY PARENTS & PAYS FOR RENT & ELETRIC TO THEM MONTHLY, & I DO HOLD IN OWNERSHIP THE US PATENT 5788648. THIS IS ALL FINE & GOOD; ALTHOUGH I REQUEST A CALL TO 786-268-7030 OR 786-473-2307 THIS WEDNESDAY, DURING OFFICE HOURS, I REQUEST, A SIMPLE ENVOY TO CALL ME ON MY CELLULAR, &TAKE NOTES FOR OVERTONES OF PERSONAL & FINANCIAL GUARDIANSNIP, MY CORPORATION; QUANTUM DEVICES INC (OF FLORIDA) TAX I.D. 65-0885878 & BEING ABLE TO HAVE PERSONAL ACCESS TO MY MONIES GENERATED BY BOTH MY COMPANY & ITS MULTI-MEDIA 9 PARRALLEL PROCCESSING SERVER, IN ADDITION TO GAINING ACCESS TO THE MAINFRAME OF QUANTUM DEVICES INC (OF FL-TAX I'D 65-088587I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO LEGALLY ACCESS MY PERSONAL MAINFRAME GENERATED FUNDS OF QUANTUM DEVICES INC; BY RE-ACQUIRING PERSONAL FINANCIAL & LIQID EQUITIES "SITTING," & WAITING TO BE CLAIMED BY THE PRESIDENT & CO-TREASURER OF QUANTUM DEVICES INC, FOR I AM A MOST FUNCTIONAL AND RESPONSIBLE 37 YEAR OLD & MY PARENTS ARE BEGGINNING TO NEUROLOGICALLY DECAY. I MUST MOVE ON WITH MY PERSONAL LIFE AT 37+ YEARS, AS MUCH AS I LOVE MY PARENTS.
TO REVIEW.PATENT 5788648 GOTO WWW.USPTO.GOV & SEE SOME OF MY WORK, LET ALONE THE MAINFRAME I BUILT.
BY GOING TO GOOGLE; & ENTERING IN, AS AN EMMISSARY, IN QUOTES, THEY ARE NECESSARY FOR USE: ENTER: "QUANTUM DEVICES INC" FL" & SEE THE OVER 200 PIECES OF EQUITIES I WANT TO COLLECT UPON, WITH YOUR FIRMS HELP, OF COURSE.
PLEASE; DO CALL ME THIS WEDNESDAY AT EITHER MY CELLULAR: 786-473-2307, OR MY HOME/BUSINESS PHONE AT 786-268-7030. MY, ERIC "RICK" TAB NADEL'S FAX IS AVAILABLE TOO, AT 786-268-7070.
WELL, MUCH THANKS;
-"RICK"
Burn in hell Tony. I have no sympathy for you, your family or the deal you made with the Devil.
And that goes for all of you George Bush cock-sucking, motherfucking conservative shits. We own the afterlife. We say what your eternity is.
Hi
I can't believe the depths of the lieing depravity the republicans are willing to go. Their agenda is anti- american and evil. Their goal is to destroy America's basic values and i am ashamed of their political position.
I was gonna add that and couldn't word it right!
dave™© | Homepage | 02.11.09 - 10:59 am
a dick-sucker?
Tom - 大肚腩 | Homepage | 02.11.09 - 11:00 am | #
Characters Remaining:
Commenting by HaloScan
