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You don't drink alcohol?
You're a closet Mormon, aren't you?
Heh.
Hope springs eternal. Plus, most people don't actually think. Which is why people always ask me about my kidneys. How are your kidneys? Still fucking skulking around not doing a decent days work. Like they are suddenly going to rebound, or do the meringue.
Ranch mixed with ketchup for fries. nummers.
Do you ever go for PIZZA? geez.
I too am a creature of habit. Before my bypass, I ordered and ate everything in 3's or multiples thereof. 3 egg mcmuffins or 9 tacos or whatever. And no plants. plants suck.
But that no alcohol thing? Man, you crazy.
p.s. your friends should always know what you want. You're their leader, after all...
Charred, not quite. I don't think they'd let me in. Actually, I'm a control freak, and alcohol doesn't fit into that.
Tracy, how are your kidneys?
Tug, I do, on occasion, order pizza. Pepperoni or pepperoni and ground beef only.
Todd, damn straight. They should know what I want as they carry it to me on a silver platter.
great - I also thought I was one of the few who ate mayo on fries.
I'm obviously a large man with a wife and kids.
I always have a Coke to my meals when eating out. I can't stand alcohol, no wine, no beer, no champagne-- if anything I think it completely screws the taste of whatever I'm ordering. Which, not much unlike you, always revolves around the same things, though I did expect you to be more flexible than that. I bet you only have missionary sex, too. 
Oi. Do I have restaurant issues. And you really eat that crap? I'd have a heart attack eating fries and mayonnaise. Not from the food necessarily but from the fear of what I was putting in my body.
Anyway, food issues in restaurants usually don't mix. I have food issues at home. These are amplified in restaurants because I can't control them. The number one thing that I cannot possibly tolerate is unfresh iced tea. I always ask, "Is it brewed or instant?" "Is it flavored?" "Is it fresh, when did you make it?" I'm sure they spit in my glass before bringing it out to me after my grilling them about tea. Is it too much to ask for fresh, unflavored brewed tea? I don't think so. I've even ordered hot tea and two glasses of ice so that I can make it there on the table because. I. am. weird.
Spammed enough in your comments. I have food issues...lots of them.
I love my fries dipped in mayo.
If I didn't drink alcohol, I would be soooo thirsty.
I don't eat ground up dead animals. Hamburger, balonga, sausage, hot dogs... Nope. Nasty noses and assholes in there.
As for KG and her iced tea. My dad is like that. Drives us crazy. He actually accused me of lying to him once because it didn't "taste" like it was brewed today. I told him if he didn't like it, I could just go buy some canned nestea for him.
He shut up and drank it.
I'm the same way - well, I mean, I always get the same damn thing. But that's because I'm a low carb moron and the options are limited.
But my friends and family just make fun of me. Fat fucks.
I am I going to culinary hell because I like mayo on hot dogs?
I don't mean to alarm you, but doesn't Steak Oscar have asparagus?
Who asks what you're going to get? Even your appetizer choices are predictable.
If anybody is asking what you're going to get, they are doing it to make conversation, they know the answer.
You love balls.
I'm having the opposite problem. I've been exploring the local Japanese restaurants and trying everything short of the Gyutan Shioyaki (beef tongue). I'm always by myself, so they always seat me at the sushi bar instead of wasting a table on one person. My problem is, after THEY seat me at the sushi bar, they assume I'm going to eat sushi, and I'm not. It wrecks the whole experience - every waitress and sushi chef keeps thinking I'm there to eat sushi for the entire evening. The waitresses won't bring a menu, and when I finally get one they forget to return to take my order. Instead the sushi chef asks what I want, then I tell him, then he looks insulted and shouts for the waitress to return again.
Funny. I noticed that you ate the same thing every day when we were working in that office downtown... I assumed it was because there were only like two restaurants open down there! Now I know. And knowing is half the battle.
My husband and I have this same conversation in bed.
"What do you want, babe?"
"The usual"
Hm.
CP.
Holli, thanks for the visit and comment.
Sara, I'm flexible in many ways. Just not food. 
KG, you have issues for everything. And you like spinach. You're a weirdo.
Mist, great minds and all that.
Virginia, I don't know what you eat, but my hamburgers don't have any noses and assholes in them.
Britt, I guess I'll still like you, even though you are a low carb moron.
Kal, mayo and ketchup on hot dogs is fucking awesome. And do you think I'm stupid enough to eat the asparagus? I leave it on the plate.
Clown, only yours.
Grant, you damned Japanophile.
Cat, GI Joe!
CP, you are a dirty, dirty girl.
I always order prime rib, filet or some type of seafood. The last couple of times we went out, my husband decided to pick on me for being predictible so I got something I would never have in a restaurant.
It sucked.
Repeat the above.
It sucked.
I will stick with my choices from now on and anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my ass.
I'll do either diet coke or coffee and that's it...'cept once in awhile when I go off on a V-8 craving.
I don't drink and even if i did, I cannot do alcohol with food. Blech.
PS: Mr. C eats his fries with mayo too. ~shudder~
I habitually have my kangaroo with a barbeque sauce and my ostrich must be with mushrooms. And zinfandel or a nice syrah will go with either. So, yes, I know exactly what you mean.
What is the matter with people!?
Fries and mayo? Ketchup and mayo on a burger? *shudder*
Ah, yes. You must be from New England :D
My goto in a restaurant will usually be fish. Tuna tatar if at all possible. And if I do decide that I'm going to eat steak, it HAS to be BLOODY on my plate. None of this medium rare shit. You loose all the flavor that way! If I'm going to indulge in meat, I need the full experience.
I love mayo with my fries. I love it so much, that you might say I actually like a little fries with my mayo.
Most people find this odd, so it's nice that I can come here and commiserate with my mayo-loving brothers and sisters.
Hey fellow creature of habit.
I thought that I was the only one! Thank gawd I am not alone.
But I'd like to believe that our species is so rare that it is always close to extinction.
So I think it is important for other people to be kind and let us thrive in our natural habitat. Where else? Uh, all over the place, I guess?
Excuse me while I go pig out.
fries dipped in MAYO? dude, there's quicker ways to kill yourself, if that's what you're going for! lol
Ummm... maybe I'm just not making the connection, but "Oscar style"?
So you like ketchup on your hot dogs?!? You're my new hero. I live in Chicago. Do you know what kinds of looks of death people give me when I commit "the ultimate culinary crime" by putting ketchup on my hot dogs? If looks could kill...
Fuck 'em. I do it anyway. I like my ketchup.
Did kapgar just say fuck me to me?
Okie dokie... you... you... you unAmerican SLIMEball!
There. Take THAT!
Agreed.
I have eaten more cheeseburgers with any boyfriend than I have in my own downtime. Since I don't believe in fancy dining and would raher eat some loaded up grease burger from hell!
Either way, as many times as they hear me order the damn thing, they never fucking remember what I prefer on it. Lord forbid I go to the bathroom and came back to a cheeseburger with everything on it.
Jesus, it's lettuce, mayo, and cheese, ONLY.
Dude, no wonder you are the way you are...you need veggies man, you need veggies! ;p
And gag on eating freaking mayo like that. I can barely stand to see that coagulated shit on my sandwich much less eating it all out in the open like that...gag, just gag.
Miss Ann: Exactly! That's why I never try something new. I want my meal to be good - I'm not there to fucking experiment.
RW: You're an adventurous sort when it comes to meals, aintcha?
Steph: Is that a New England thing? I honestly didn't realize that. Medium rare to medium is my limit - too bloody and I can't stomach it.
Dave: You are an intelligent, savvy person.
Talamasca: Glad to hear it.
Dawn: I'm going for delicousness, that's what I'm going for! And I succeed!
Kapgar: Oscar style means with crab meat and hollaindaise over asparagus. And those Chicagoans are real persnickety bastards.
Jordie: Your tastes are definitely weirder than mine.
Jolie: Vegetables are the devil's doing.
What happens if you're at an ethnic restaurant and there's no beef?
I like my beef crispy on the outside, hardly pink on the inside, unless it's filet mignon.
You mix the mayo with the ketchup and it's called, "Goop". I'll do that if there's no Bleu Cheese for them.
As for restaurants, I find a few good ones that are ALWAYS consistent and yummy, (and very clean) and I'll only go to them. Fuck that, "Let's try some place new."
And what, go home with e-coli? or worse, pay for a mediocre meal?
I love diet coke.
Mmmm...blue cheese on my fries. Annie-I'm with you. And why is anyone surprised at this from a man who eats chocolate sauce on burritos? He clearly has issues.
Ahhhhh...a man after my own heart.........french fries dipped in mayo. I totally **heart** fries dipped in mayo.
I usually stay away from soft drinks, but I read this post, went to sleep, and in the last two days, I've drank like four liters of Diet Coke. Tomorrow, when I'm rolling around on the floor with a post-caffeine headache, I will loathe you. But I will also respect you for your mind control powers. All hail Avitable.
OMG - speaking of dipping fries in mayo (which I fucking adore).......I saw a recipe from Paula Deen for mayo coated potatoes that are oven roasted, then dipped back in the mayo that were out-fucking-rageous. Made me think of you!
Poppy, I don't eat at many ethnic restaurants. If we have to eat Mexican, I'll have steak fajitas, hold the peppers and onions.
Annie, goop, eh? That's a good term. Glad to see that we're on the same page, too!
Claudia, your comments are, as always, insightful.
HCG, those aren't issues. They're standards!
Lucy, that's awesome. I'll have to look for that recipe.
Greg, I'm glad I could influence you in an unhealthy way. It's what I'm here for.
we ARE related!! i only order plain cheeseburgers (sans ketchup and mayo too tho) or steak (rib eye, filet, sirloin or the rare time when they have it - london broil - yum) and coke no ice. great leary-smith-avitable minds think alike!
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