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At least now I know another criminal genius.
I called 911 for you. They said that your going to have to wait because some ambulance chasing tailgater smashed into the only Gorilla certified lance in the state.
Don't you hate it when that happens?
Damn, Av...you sure have some pretty eyes.
As always, worth the wait.
I'm reading this trying to pick out my favorite line. After much deliberation and a vote amongst the voices, I think I've settled on:
"The electric pencil sharpeners are more painful if you stick your dick in them, though."
Which, I'm not sure what that says about ME that the thought of you putting your dick in an electric pencil sharpener makes me laugh so fucking hard.
peanut butter. and fritos. you are one sick, twisted fuck, ah-VIT-uh-bull. :D
Now I regret not having made a smart-ass comment about The Running Man for the reality TV question... it was the first thing that popped into my head. I was going to say something about the government sanctioning killing on reality TV to distract us from what's happening in the world. It's closer than you think!
On second thought... isn't it already here? I just turned on the morning news...
I've learned so much...like scrotums have nails. Who knew?!
Tracy, I guess we're not that genius if we're announcing it.
WD, I knew that ambulance line would annoy you.
Mist, yup. Shit-brown is a captivating color.
Britt, that's your favorite? And you are very cruel.
Dawn, don't knock it until you've tried it. The crunchy corn chips add flavor and texture.
Dave, if you had done that, then I couldn't have, so thanks.
Tug, you can wear nail polish anywhere. I choose to decorate my scrotum with it. No nails there, please, though.
Bungee jumping...that's gotta be a great sport. Is it even called a sport? I guess it's more of an activity. A psychotic activity where you have the opportunity to have every joint in your body jerked with amazing force by some sort of springy ropey thing. They have this little (no...actually it's very big) thing called "Bridge Day" in West Virginia where many people go and voluntarily jump off some very tall bridge (900 ft maybe? don't recall exactly) down to the river below. I think that is where I'd like to send all stupid people.
I love these tags even though they are silly.
It helps me to learn so much more about you!!
Instead of kissing your neck, I'll grab you a cheeseburger. Oh, the seduction.
I cannot get my husband to stop singing white and nerdy... he's been doing it all week, even after I pointed out he was both. I think that just made him sing louder.
Glad to know how to pronounce you're name.
Oh, no, i just made one of the worst grammar errors ever. YOUR name. Damn. Please don't kick me out of the club. I'll do penance, I swear.
Video, I concur.
Jordie, rowr.
Heather, same thing happened with my wife, since I keep singing it!
Bobgirrl, you get one chance. If you hadn't posted a correction as quickly as you had, you'd be destroyed forever! Moohahaha.
I think, re: American Eagle, probably a "no" would have been sufficient?
Ah, RW, but that's where you're wrong. If it is indeed guerilla marketing on the behalf of AE, I'd love for this to show up in their Google search results too.
Ah - you mean like I've done for Comcast and the Holiday Inn in Charleston SC?
Nevermind then, young man, carry on!
I was in a pissy mood all day until I read the answers to your meme. Now I am just flat out homicidal.
Really, that was pretty damn funny and the most amusing answers to a meme I've read in quite some time.
Hey - I was on the swim team too! For years and years and years.
Wanna race? 
I also feel more comfortable on / in the water than on land most times too.
Congrats' to you for being able to sing alphabets backwards.
I just made a realization that I, personally, can't.
I must call MENSA now and tell them to change criteria how they pick members...
Donnie Darko rox my sox. Highly recommended for those who prefer brain flicks for breakfast (brain flicks = bran flakes... get it?). But I still stick to my opinion that non-mind challenging, bimbotic and utterly stupid funny movies are the best. Don't kill me for that. ;-p
"Like a freight train filled with firing cannons running over a rusty track during a tornado being chased by a hundred thousand galloping horses."
You sound like my boyfriend! I actually wear earplugs to bed!
White and Nerdy! GREAT SONG! Better than that uky original!
RW, thanks for the blessing. 
Lisa, happy to oblige. My goal is your entertainment.
Steph, I'd kick your ass! I've got youth on my side! :P
Rockjay, are you saying that you're a retard or I'm a genius?
Talamasca, comedies are the best movies - I agree.
MD, I rattle windows!
I am curious about your worst fear, that is an interesting one.
Jason, it's just always been a fear. It's hard to explain, other than the concept of actually existing forever is immensely frightening.
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