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Miniature Pony Statues?
You do this because of your glue addiction, right? Yeah, me too.
Perhaps the diamond-encrusted, platinum-plated butt plug wasn't the best anniversary gift after all? It certainly put a dent in your anal sex toys budget.
Thirty-one thousand spent on underage Thai prostitutes works out to about thirty-one thousand prostitutes.
Way to value shop!
I think you might want to consider increasing the budgeted amount for the art classes. Your self-portraits could use some improvement.
You got ripped off when you paid for Men's Clothing.
I'm very disappointed in you. You could have at least bought the good deodorant instead of the dollar store special.
$45,800.00 on all of Britney Spears's hair (vaginal, facial, and head)
So you're basically saying that what I bought from some website was a complete fake? ZOMG I've been duped! WTF!!! Damn it Britney 'Uncle Fester' Spears, I need a refund! O_O
Mist, I just really love Miniature Ponies.
Dave, I need His and Hers plugs, of course, too.
Mr. Fabulous, where you do buy yours? I think I got ripped off.
Geeky Tai-Tai, GASP? You're daring to critique my wonderful works of art? Blasphemer!
Tracy, you think? Goodwill seems like bargain shopping.
Denise, deodorant is a privilege, not a right.
Talamasca, sorry, you were clearly scammed. Also, if you see an auction for Anna Nicole Smith's ashes, don't bother.
I would have believed this entire list if you hadn't gone lowball on the women's clothing entry.
(Is that what I meant to say, or do I just like saying "ball"?)
I think I just had a small stroke.
Why do you buy razors? Rumor is, you don't use them.
WHAT? No Starbucks??????
I thought I was the only one that spent that much on anal toys/lube. I feel better now.
Poppy, believe it or not that number's about right. She buys through sample sales and picks out great deals.
Mistress Yoda, why's that? I think you should change your name to Yaddle, which is the female Yoda's name, by the way.
Lynda, on the rare occasion I use them, I go through three or four at once.
EG, I don't drink coffee. I'm sure we've spent a bit on my wife's coffee, though.
TMP, your butt must truly be a palace of wonder!
Wow, I was expecting to see Starbucks in there too.
I love Starbucks. I think everyone should send me Starbucks gift certificates so I can buy Starbucks everyday.
Yup. Do some good people, feed a childs caffine addiction.
Ahh, sample sales. They might as well give the clothing away. So, she buys $14k worth of clothes for $1,400. Smart lady. 
Do you think you can count the skid mark purchase as a religious 'tithe'?
Miss Misery, I'll remember that for your birthday. But I don't know when your birthday is.
Poppy, yes she is. Well, she can't be too smart if she's with me!
Britt, I don't get it. You're too clever for me.
I was thinking about how the fast food number was pretty low, but I forgot that a few times a year you seem to eat nothing but Birthday cake.
Of course, birthday cake doesn't count as fast food.
I think it's likely that you too have been scammed. There's no way you got all of Britney's hair for that little. Didn't you hear, the head hair alone is worth a BILLION dollars! That means the pubes would be worth... Burning.
This would all seem so freaking funny if I weren't looking at a thick file that I have to sort through myself.
I hate this time of year.
$1.00 on Deodorant
So that's what that funny smell is coming from your end of the blogsphere!
You said "$1,112.00 on Anal Sex Toys"
Dude, you clearly don't know where to find the bargins, do you?
Jeez!
the jesus skid mark thing made me gag - so does that also fall under the category of Gag Gifts? :D
350,139.50 spent on all of the above and not a single cent to Elmo dolls?
weird. Just weird.
You know it!!! 
$135k on things that look like Jesus, huh? You're so goin' to heaven!
Clown, I got a deal.
Amy, hopefully you have a good accountant like we do.
Jen, luckily, as a bear-gorilla-man, I am smell-free.
Dan, those are the bargains! You should see what I got.
Dawn, ahhh - you so punny.
BPR, Elmo dolls are evil.
TMP, awesome.
Steph, did I mention that I then pee on them?
Weren't razors and anal sex toys the same category?
that budget for the underage thai prostitutes is a little low. maybe next year we can increase our spending to hit our mark?
Shit. That was YOU who bought all my nipple clamps from ebay!
Franky, you Belgians are crazier than the Germans, aren't you?
K, I'm trying, but Dick Cheney has a corner on the market.
Heather, yes, and thank you very much!
As long as #19 was for YOU, I think it's well within the norm.
Holy Moly! I bet Amazon lurves you! And I am sooooo jealous that you have all of Brit's hair. Could we indian trade for a few strands?
I always thought you had nice enough legs to pull off a skirt. Glad you took the plunge into women's clothing.
my personal favorite is the $4.50 on mens clothing vs $1,390 on womens clothing.
you paint such a nice picture of your life with this list.
Tug, and that's just for my heels!
Dramedy, I think we could make some type of exchange.
Cat, why won't anyone believe those are Amy's purchases?
MD, I bought one shirt.
Alyssa, I know - anal sex with underage thai prostitutes and miniature pony statues all around, covered in Britney's pubic hair. It's the life.
My question is, were the Anal Sex Toys deductible?
Annie, of course. Unreimbursed employee expense.
ooh, so the womens clothes weren't for you!? aaaaaaah and here I was thinking you had some smashing outfits
mmm, I'm torn between being all intrigued like by this list, and being scared into backing away from the computer.
MD, well, the heels are mine.
Psychobabble, scared? Why?
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