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Well that does explain a lot then.
I was in a small private Christian school from K4 until 11th grade. I thought maybe I was a fluke.
Anyway... nice shorts dude. :D
so which one are you in the photo?
and about the rest?
uhm
no comment
wait! is this something I will have to deal with as my boys get older?
LOL
That is the funniest story I've heard so far... LOL
Wait, I'm not here. I never read this stor...
That could have been so much worse if she saw you...man. Hey, we have something in common 
you are the third from the right, and I can tell that you have great fashion taste but also that you're circumcized. LOL
Oh, and I'm not sure I've laughed harder at someone I wasn't making fun of in years. Even if that DIDN'T happen, it's the funniest thing I've read in quite a while.
Nice job. BTW, who masturbates in the library?
Cum on my face doesn't bother me at all. You're so weird.
It adds an entirely new context to the term "Bible Study."
Crack my ass UP...great way to start a Friday.
Ha, somebody thinks you're the boy in the red plaid skirt.
That was pretty great. I'm sure it will be the best laugh of my day. Thanks a lot for making the upcoming day look like crap.
JERK.
Thanks for the best laugh I've had all week. Grabbing the bible to hide your guilt was and inspired choice!
Rachel, nope. I think the smartest, bestest people went to private Christian schools.
BPR, I'm the one who looks like he's gay. (Third from the left).
CuriosityKiller, thanks for the visit and comment. And you were never here. . .
Mistress Yoda, you were caught masturbating in a library?
TMLSB, do you mean third from the left? And the real question is: Who doesn't masturbate in the library?
Mist, and this is why you're awesome.
Dave, well, I did shout out "Oh Jesus!"
Tug, glad to help.
Clown, yeah, your day is just going to suck now.
I am at a loss for words. Well Done!
OH.MY.GAWD>
That is funny shit! I know it wasn't at the time but hey, it made for good blogging.
I knew which one you were. I'll never forget the pink plaid shorts. did you happen to be wearing those the day this happened? that would have made it extra embarrasing.
i thought i was the only one!
shit! no offense, but your momma dressed you like a girl
I had those same shorts, but it was OK becuase I also had a vagina
So... how long did you have that rugburn?
Just wondering.
This is the exact reason I stopped going to libraries in general.
To many magazines had the pages stuck together.
Tracy, I am very proud of myself.
TMP, yup. My shame and humiliation are tools for your laughter.
Dawn, well, it was 6 years after that picture, so I'm hoping I wasn't still wearing the same shorts. Although, I was probably wearing ones that were equally gay.
Crystal, we're soulmates, did you know that?
BPR, my mother swears I picked those out myself.
Amy, my forehead was raw for a few weeks.
NYCWD, yeah, now I only go to the library to masturbate.
Dragon, somehow missed you. Yeah, I thought the Bible was an inspired way to cover it up.
Did your parents EVER ask you where you got the RAW spot on your forehead?
You know, I think that was the highlight of my day.
Kinda sad if you think about it:p
So, did your sister say anything to you yet? :D
Uhm. Ew. National Geographic women? Seriously...aren't they all starving Africans in those photos? LMAO.
As for the picture....Wow. Look at all that velcro on them thar shoes. And why is your watch on the wrong arm?
I totally knew which one was you... you had a mischievious look in your eyes, even back then.
Hilarious, brave story. Kudos to you for putting your sh*t out there like that. It reminds me of the scene from "The Squid and The Whale", where the kid masturbates in the library. Your story is MUCH better, though.
You're not the only one, dude. I went to an all boys boarding school, so naturally we were all spanking it whenever we got the chance. I'm proud to say I whacked off in every building on campus, including the library. While I was the first to accomplish the feat in school history (classifying me as a living legend on campus) I never got busted, kicked over a book stand, or spooged on myself.
Funny, funny shit though. I almost pissed myself!
Oh God...I came just from reading that.
Not in my own face though.
I'm with Mr. Fabulous on that one. Only when I came, I aimed for my face, but I missed and hit the cat. Sorry Fluffles. 
sweet jesus. Oh, and you're the one in the big red plaid dress right?
=)
OMG You were a GIRL SCOUT TOO!!?? Small world!
Amy, I told them I fell. And hit my head on the rug.
Psychobabble, I don't know. Reading my blog is the highlight of my day, too.
Poppy, nope. Don't think she's read this yet.
KG, when you're 11, tits are tits.
Cat, I have no problem putting myself out there. I'm an open book.
Ben, very few women realize exactly how much boys jerk off. It's like an epidemic.
Mr. Fab, I wrote it just for you.
Greg, poor pussy.
Alyssa, yup, that's me. This story wasn't appropriate for minors, by the way.
RW, yup. Are you going to the '08 reunion?
So wait. Why was it necessary to balance on the two back legs of the chair while crankin it?
Couldn't you just masturbate in the library to pictures of emaciated third world women with flies buzzing around them with all four chair legs planted firmly on the ground like the rest of us?
i want to know what recent event sparked this memory ... maybe a facial? a new magazine subscription? a rug burn??
I was born in '88.
Word.
Schadenfreude, it was full body masturbation. If I recall correctly, my legs were sticking out against the table, pushing me back.
Tori, my post from a few days ago where I was talking about embarrassing things that have happened to me and marked 1988 as Classified.
Jordie, thanks for making me feel old. Bitch.
I really don't know what to say about this story. I just keep snickering at my desk.
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