This is too funny (in a sad kind of way). You didn't finish the story! Where did the spider monkey come from?
The Mears family. They had a pet monkey.
I gotta hand it to you Bake, that was one of the best posts I have ever read anywhere. You can actually be very funny when you are not focusing all your energy on trying to outfox Waist High.
"Don't you monkey with the monkey..."
Peace.
well, maybe if monkeys were left in the damn jungle where they belong and not kept as pets, then maybe crap like this wouldn't happen. monkeys are very intelligent and are only in it for themselves, just like anyone else in this world would be if they were kept against their will, yet didn't know how to escape. they learn to survive in the social and physical structure they are presented with. the need for survival comes first... you pander to your captors, you kick anyone's ass who has food... and your burgers were on the top of that food list. the problem is your neighbors, not the monkey.
I like burgers....
Monkey monkey MONKEY!!!
Our crazy uncle Rick used to race monkeys on a small concrete track in the back yard. His wife blamed his odd hobbies on a high speed accident at Laguna Seca during his youth. As you can imagine the furry beasts worked up quite an appetite under the iron fist of Mr. Mears. The competitive drive and large leg muscles (which subsequently lead to one animal's escape) were no doubt to blame from your unfortunate encounter.
The Evidence
I grew up in Bakersfield, and we had a spider monkey for a little while, but it ran away. It was mean, so we didn't look for it too hard. Guess now I know where it went.
Actually, this would have been later in the 70s or early in the 80s.
That body-less monkey head pic is FREAKING ME OUT, MAN!
Yes! That's it! Rick Mears lived around the corner from me. Thank you Anoymous member of the Mears Family.
See LTD! I told you wasn't making it up!
I'm so sorry, I can't believe you had to go through that. It's really hard for me to believe your parents would make you eat Miricle Whip! I hope they got brought up on charges and you recieved the Hellmann's therapy you needed. It just really hurts to know there are kids out there having to go through such trauma.
Now, I'm sorry....you were saying something about a monkey?
Nice work Jim! I was waiting for someone to point that out.
[Beck & Travis are paralyzed from eating a jungle fruit]
Beck: Oh Shit.
Travis: What? What? What?
Beck: Monkey. Monkey.
Travis: Monkey where? Get him away from me.
Beck: Get out of here Monkey.
Travis: Get out of here Monkey.
Beck: Get out of here Monkey.
Travis: Oh no.
Beck: I hate this place. I hate penis eating minnows and I hate freaky fruit. I want to go home, I want concrete, I want home made tortellini. I want my Los Angeles Lakers. I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home. Get out of here Monkeys.
Dude...that just made no sense at all. Or....at least not to me.
Thanks for sharing though.
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