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I had much the same reaction to "The Diary of Anne Frank" that you did, PS, except I was on the other side of the fence, so to speak.
I was all at once fascinated and repelled by this book, which I first read at about age nine or so. I had seen the outcomes of hatred and bigorty all around me growing up, but as a "priveleged" white child in the South, it never really impacted me. It was a very distressing thing to read the story, told so simply, and so eloquently, of such hate.
I felt as if I had something to be ashamed of, with my Teutonic heritage -- that possibly, people in my history took part in such horrifying barbarism. Even to this day, I read virtually everything I can find about the Holocaust because if we let the truth die, we are surely doomed to repeat it.
When I read the diary, I felt then, as I do now, that while there exists such hate in the world, we are the keepers of the flame. We cannot let what has happened be forgotten, and in remembering, we give those that lost their lives a new life. And it makes me both resolute and scared for the future all at the same time. It truly was a pivotal book for me.
Phantom, when are you going to write your book? This is a fantastic post. I love your 2 closing paragraphs.
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I loved Harriet the Spy. I wrote all the time, like she did. But believe it or not, at the time I read the book (age 8, I think), it had not occurred to me to write about other people! This was a bombshell for me. Also, I wished I had her friends.
A great post. And big hugs to you.
I too love the book The Long Secret. I love how her hair goes back to normal again when she gets it wet, and she actually shouts to Harriet on the phone.
IN CAPITAL LETTERS!!!
I still like to talk all in capital letters sometimes. I am not shy as an adult but I was painfully shy as a child.
I didn't even know there WAS a sequel to Harriet the Spy. Man, now I'm cranky, cause it'll be hard to find in Rome...
Gorgeous post, Phantom.
(o)
I'm with jo(e). I was a big fan of CAPITAL LETTER shouting in kids' books when I was a kid.
I don't think I read The Long Secret, but I am so in love with Beth Ellen right now. Thanks, Phantom.
Wonderful, wonderful post, Phantom.
I loved The Long Secret, because Beth Ellen was such a great character. It was amazing how Fitzhugh developed her from the quiet mousy little thing she was in the first book, where we never saw her thoughts except at the end (when she yelled that she didn't care that she wasn't Secretary-Treasurer anymore and that she hated bridge). This may have been the first book I read that developed a character who'd only been a side note in another book, and had the protagonist from another book become a side note in this one.
On Anne Frank -- wow, just wow. How awful to do that to you. I think kids who tend towards anxiety pick up worries and mini-obsessions anyway (I was worried about fire and burglars, and slept with my door closed after I saw something saying that kept fire from spreading fast). But how awful to make that so so much worse, by giving you something so horrific, age-inappropriate, and tied into your persona (young Jewish girl writer) to focus on. I'm so sad for young Phantom. And mad at your mother for doing that to you.
I've been thinking so hard about how to gently talk to my 6-year-old (hopefully not until the future) about things like 9/11 and the Holocaust, if he learns about them. It's hard not to hear about terrorism these days (especially in the D.C. area). But we distract him when it comes up, give him veiled answers that give him just enough information to somewhat answer his questions, etc. I can't imagine deliberately immersing him in it. I worry about what happens when he learns about the Holocaust, and what I should say to the religious education director to find out if/how it's going to come up when an older student with a "Help Darfur" project goes from class to class to talk about it. After reading this, I think I will talk to her about it. I'm sure they won't do it at the Anne Frank level for the kindergarteners, but I'm hoping I can convince her that they don't need to know about it yet, and can just know we're helping people in another country because sometimes Jews have been treated badly (he knows that much) and so we should help others who are being treated badly.
Terrific post, dear Phantom, really terrific. And yeah, {{phantom}}
It is a great post. Wasn't someone saying in the earlier post that people don't read fiction to learn anything? Well, phooey on that! How perceptive of you to be able to spin from The Long Secret to asking questions of yourself and your family.
Those last two paragraphs really are amazing. I've been trying to propel just that sort of quesitoning in my classes this semester, with only varying degrees of success. Somehow, reading this post makes me feel much better about the prospect anyway.
I don't know where I've been, but I've never heard of Louise Fitzhugh or of these characters that you so compellingly describe. Wow. That bathroom scene is really stunning. As I shy person, I must say, that anger thing rings loud and clear for me. Even the door-slamming is a familiar reaction.
I loved reading this, Phantom.
Thank you for this beautiful post.
Huh... I just had the same reaction to that dialogue right now... How did I not know there was a sequel to Harriet the Spy??
Also, have you written about learning to survive in the woods? If not, there's a book I need to recommend, if I can just figure out what it is...
Oh, and if you're looking for an antidote you might like the book I just finished: Beware of God by Shalom Auslander. A tiny book of short stories by a guy who grew up in an Orthodox community in NY. In particular, there's a piece entitled "Holocaust Tips for Kids" that you might, um, well enjoy isn't exactly the right word although there are funny bits!
Oh, my rabbi just recommended that book! Along with Nicole Krauss's A History of Love.
Oh! Those are the two books I was thinking of! (There being 2 of them was what was confusing me)
The third book she mentioned, I think Phantom won't want to read, though perhaps others might. I think it's called The Boy Who Loved Anne Frank. It's a fictional (obviously) story of Peter Van Damm (the boy who was in hiding with Anne Frank and family), as an adult survivor who represses the whole thing, I think even to denying ever having been in the Holocaust.
This post is so wonderful that I couldn't even comment on it when I first read it last night. It was just...*too much." It was like you'd jumped into my head at about age 8 and scooped everything up and written about it. The Long Secret is so under-praised that I'd almost forgotten about it myself, but I think I read it more times than the original Harriet. And I felt like Beth Ellen was *me*. And I felt that same feeling, when the grandmother says that.
It was eerie, reading it on someone else's blog.
Phantom, I just love you. Asking the questions no one wants asked and refusing to keep the secrets any more is easier when I know people like you.
Wonderful post, Phantom. I really can't believe your mom gave you Anne Frank at age 6 and that you had such a truly sophisticated response to it.
A really great post. Thanks,
Thanks, Amy. I wish I had known all of you all when I was eight. I'm thinking we would have had a cool secret clubhouse where we all sat around reading books and eating crackers.
Lucy, isn't that the book you quote from in your sidebar? I think I have to read it, then. Thanks for the recommendations, Genevieve and Kathy R!
Elswhere, I had the same feeling of absolute identification with Beth Ellen. In fact, I think I resisted reading Harriet the Spy for several years, because I thought of her as Beth Ellen's obnoxious friend. Then, of course, when I did read Harriet the Spy I just loved it. But I never did keep a journal like she did, mostly because I feared that my mother would read it. (For a little while I wrote a diary in elaborate code, but it was exhausting, and I stopped.) I sure wished I had her friends, too, like Jennifer did.
RD, I think Louise Fitzhugh's books were first published in the mid-1960s, when you were probably well past childish things. But Harriet the Spy and The Long Secret are worth reading whatever your age.
jo(e), someday when you come to visit, we are going to eat vegan chocolate cupcakes while watching the Muppet Show and talking IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
Thanks, Kelly, and welcome to the commenting pixie party!
Now I have to find and read the Long Secret. Sheesh, this blogging thing is expensive.
Fabulous post.
Phantom, I'm always hesitant about recommending books too, especially since the History of Love isn't a perfect book, but I did love the character who made me think of it in this thread.
Also, I was too busy reacting myself before to respond to your story...
I think you are far too hard on yourself by thinking you shouldn't have been so traumatised. It's not so much that you ought to have been sheltered from horrifying truths, but that you have a right to expect that your mother would do her best to protect you from the effects of those truths. There's an enormous difference between learning about the holocaust in an age-appropriate and supportive manner and effectively being told by your mother that the world is a horrible, scary place and she wasn't going to try to protect you from it.
I wish I could hug 6 year old Phantom. *hugs* to you now.
I'm so glad you asked the questions your family didn't want to deal with. You are a wonderful, wonderful writer. Thank you for sharing your stories.
VEGAN CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES!!!!
Oh, yes.
I've often thought that Harriet the Spy was really just a blogger way ahead of her time ....
Mmmmm....cupcakes.
Wonderful post Phantom. Thank you so much for sharing it.
I just start reading your blog a few days ago. This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing how literature comes alive for you.
Phantom, your writing slays me. (I've just ordered the Fitzhugh books for The Princess.)
What your mother did robbed you of the very things you work so hard to keep safe for your own children. The world does contain bad people, selfish people, cruel people, sick people. But it also contains beauty and humor and creativity and love. Goodness may not always win, but it does not disappear. Your love for LG and BB takes form in your concern for the world, resides in every word you write and expresses itself in every breath you exhale.
I'm glad to know you.
truly you are a fantastic writer and amazingly insightful person. I spend most of my time trying to distract myself so I don't realize how shallow I am.
Damn it if I didn't miss it!
I woke up yesterday (WEDNESDAY) with something the likes of RINGWORM on my face! Actually, I didn't wake with it - I woke up just fine and when I stepped out of the shower, I had a huge rash all over my left cheek. I know you are thinking "an allergic reaction to something" but I've had four Benedryls and it has not changed. If it were a localized hive, it should only be there for 4 - 5 hours. Sigh.
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