Welcome to the Commenting Pixie Party!
Lots of hugs and sympathy, Phantom! I'm feeling you, over here.
Not that our stresses have been on remotely the same scale as yours, but I remarked to my husband the other day, "I am so tired of his constipation. My entire day revolves around it. It's running this household." We've had big fights with each other, because we're stressed out about our son's constipation. It's insane. Who died and made constipation king?
Which is a roundabout way of saying, I'm so glad to hear you're out together occasionally, having a little break from the tyranny of Things We Can't Control.
Oh, Phantom, how very very frustrating and stressful that all sounds. Even though there's been serious progress made, which is wonderful, it's got to be so stressful to have all this pressure put on every single meal and snacktime.
I have no advice to offer, just an ear to listen to anything you have to say - no worries about whether it's not upbeat or seems too much of a sameness. The ongoingness of the struggle has got to be a big part of the pressure on all of you.
BB will be a fabulous adult, no matter what her height is. My college roommate was 4'11" and I didn't notice it after the first day, and it didn't impact her noticeably (she was glad I wasn't a basketball player, but that was about all the mention of it). (If this falls in the category of "unhelpful comments," just ignore it.)
One step at a time. That's all you can do.
There is NOTHING more frustrating than a child that won't eat. You cannot control her eating. She has to be the one to want to eat. And yet you just get so desperate. You'd cook ANYTHING to get her to eat. You'd feed her whipped cream and caviar if that is what she would cram down her throat. But she's already learned to use food as a weapon.
I've been there, done that, and my little shorty daughter is 5'3. I'm 5'9. Her dad was over 6'. Her brother, who also has his own growth issues due to his meds, will eventually be 6'4 according to his endocrinologist (I wonder if we see the same guy). Nobody in our family is that short. But she's pretty and smart and funny and has a ton of boys lined up around the block despite her size. She still isn't an eater. If there weren't carbs, she would starve.
I wish I could tell you that it will get better. It might. It did with my kid. Baby Blue is still so young. She might be one of those kids that eats at preschool but not at home. A kid my children went to preschool with was like that, and his parents put him in all day just so he would eat! It did work. He ate food and drank pediasure at school, but not at home.
Kids are such amazing little people. They wring us dry with their tsuris, don't they?
You'll do the best you can. One tiny step at a time. But I'd be asking about another appetite increasing med, or maybe increasing the one she's on. I wish I could remember the one my son was on, but it's just slipped my mind. Hard to believe he was ever on one, because he's now eating me out of house and home, literally!
Aw, Phantom, I'm sorry you guys are having to put up with so much stress. I (obviously) have no helpful advice, but I'm sending virtual sympathy over te webs.
(o)
That is a lot to worry about, and it does sound very stressful. I'm sending lots of calming vibes, and also some Hungry Baby Blue vibes as well 
I am so sorry. I know a little of it; our 9-year-old is 4'8" and 62 pounds, and we have never -- never -- been able to get him to eat something he doesn't want to eat. He'd rather starve.
And the worry about a kid who won't eat infects the whole household, I agree.
Hugs. This parenting thing is a lot more stressful than they lead you to believe.
I don't know if this will be reassuring - feel free to dump it, read or unread...
after a huge growth spurt in high school, I'm 5'2" - almost the tallest woman in my family tree. My sister, who ate air as far as we could tell when she was a kid, is the tallest at 5'3". My daughter is about 4'11". Our respective moms, grandmothers, greatgrandmothers, etc. were all shorter still.
However, there are some other things maybe to consider:
I'm reasonably successful in my profession, have some artistic outlets, etc. My sister is a very successful senior corporate counsel for a huge, multinational corporation with a couple of very successful and VERY tiny daughters! My daughter is a blogger you "know" - and extraordinary in her own right.
Your kiddo exhibits none of the symptoms of failure to thrive - quite the opposite - except for her petite stature.
So, some encouraging teks:
BB is OK & so R U! OMG! Just LOL - and feel better!
(You know this teks shorthand is God punishing us for making fun of Hook'd on Phonics, right?)
Oh, Phantom. I'm sorry about all this... it sounds so hard. I agree that BB will be a fantastic adult, even if she is always a bit petite. But of course, you know that. I'd offer chamomile tea, but you might need something stronger.
I'm so sorry about all this stress - hugs to you.
My sympathy. How hard and un-fun this is, especially in summer. Of course, with my high expectations for summer fun I am usually disappointed.
I continue to be awed by the amount of stress you juggle around this issue. I hope you take some pride in your ability to manage it as well as you do, because you are truly in the trenches and you deserve your pats on the back.
My mother-in-law is 4"11. She's also a very successful doctor, born on a chicken farm in El Salvador, who now has a very high-profile job with the feds, her third husband, and three gorgeous kids. One of those kids is my husband, who's taller than her but shorter than me (I'm the same height as you). Short version, no pun intended: height won't keep her from being or doing whatever she wants to.
Just this past Tuesday, my Lucy refused her lunch at school (too much sauce on the meeatballs!)and then refused to eat dinner (salmon with a maple syrup glaze, which she ate before and loved and now refuses). Total nutrition for the day? A PBJ. One. There might have been some maternal yelling . She's significantly smaller than her twin sister, and I try every day not to worry too much about it. you can see from this long comment how well that works!
I'm so sorry you have this anxiety weighing on you, and so constantly too. Here's hoping it all fades into memory sometime soon.
I'm not so much worried about 4'11'. I'm worried about losing height from 4'11" and entering the realm in which she'll require special accommodations. Which, again, if that's just the way things were, we would deal with. But the idea that this could be something we could prevent -- if only we could get her to eat enough -- is a crazy-making one.
On the other hand, at least she ate all her breakfast today. (Melted vanilla ice cream. Yeah.) So I can feel like we've staved off dwarfism for another few hours.
[[hugs]]
I'm sorry this is so stressful for you--others have said all this, but it's OK to be small. My MIL is a very small person (smaller than me), and one of my dearest friends in NY is less than 5 feet. At least she'll never bang her head on the light fixtures. Of course, it's hard to have that kind of perspective when you're in the thick of things. If you ever need a supportive shoulder, I'm here.
Oy vey. Oy vey. Maybe time for the Catskill treatment?
((Phantom))
Oh Phantom I wish there was something I could do to make it all better. And I know in the long run, things *will* get better. But that's no consolation for the pain of *now* Coming from a family where there are lots of eating issues (well, okay, alcoholism trumps eating issues as the dysfunction of choice but eating comes in second) I know these things can cause stress all around the family. So I'm hoping peace for you all.
Wish I had some miracle cure for you (and for BB) but sorry - no luck.
I will try to start a letter writing campaign to all pasta makers asking for triple calorie and fat content pasta until a solution is discovered.
Maybe in a few years when BB understands drinking games a little better you can make them up to go along with food. For example everytime Rachel Ray says EVOO she has to drink a shot of cream.
Anyways, (o).
I come from the world of very short people (I'm the tall grand-daughter at 5'1and1/2"). My grandmother was 4'6". My mom is 4'9". There have been lots of stools in the house, and a pillow in the driver's seat, and everyone hems, but other than that--no accomodations. Besides which, BB isn't full grown yet--you don't know how the story will end.
I'm really excited for the progress you've seen, and sorry about the stall. But win,lose or draw...BB has parents who will do anything to see her thrive, and that is something she'll carry with her forever. I'd rather have that than the ability to drive without a pillow.
I'm so sorry you have this ongoing anxiety Phantom.
(((Phantom and the whole Scribbler-Blue family)))
Ach, this would make the blood pressure go up and the hair turn gray. Hugs to all the Scribbler-Blues--when you feel like sharing about it and when you don't.
Or, the other side of being able to prevent this loss of height, is that you've done everything you could do, and even if she loses an inch from her "potential total height", had you not done all this, she would have lost three inches.
It sounds incredibly stressful for all of you, though, and I hope that it eases up for you.
Yowza. That's some stressing.
I just wanted to toss in that my sister is 4'11" (I'm 5'3") and it's never been an issue for her. Plus, she has a small foot, so she always gets EXCELLENT deals on fabulous shoes.
Thinking food fueled thoughts for you!
Oy. I'm sorry for all the anxiety around this issue.
what PPB said. exactly. my people are also short, and i'm a late bloomer, too.
this sounds so stressful. but BB is a fabulous small person! she is so smart, so interested, so funny, so terrific -- her tiny stature is surely not interfering with her development as a terrific person.
I'm so sorry about all the stress.
I do think you guys do a fabulous job and hope that you can sometimes focus on that (through all the other stress) - you have done and are doing so much and that is supporting her in being where she is. There are worse things than being small.
((Phantom and Mr. Blue))
I'm so sorry that BB has you all tied in knots about this. It's totally natural for a parent to worry, so don't EVER feel bad about worrying about BB. That's what we, as parents, do. As for her eventual height, just keep doing everything you can for BB, and keep hoping that she hasn't missed that window of opportunity for growth. Hopefully, it will work out all right, and she'll surprise us all.
(o)Scribbler/Blues -- you all need a hug right about now.
(o)
Baby Blue, you're my hero. Seriously. If my dissertation ever gets finished, it will be at least in part because of the way my heart lifts and some of the whirling tornado of everything-ness that is always circling in my mind is cleared by one of your mom's renditions of a BB conversation.
You are just brilliant. I would love, love, love to play with Lego with you and have you tell me which is your favourite pair of socks.
Eat cake, sweetie. Drink milk. Stuff your tiny little fantabulous face. The world thanks you.
My guess is that the 4'10' cutoff for "dwarfism" would really only apply to men (even if they don't say so). Women who are 4'10' (my mom) are small, but they're not particularly noticeable, especially if you live in a diverse population containing Asian women (with petite feet & hands and height).
You're BB is very like my younger son in personality. He's enough alike that I occasionally freak out about the fact that he is small too (like BB, but perhaps not like BB, since he doesn't have a team of doctors worrying about his size). But, I worry that I'm just not getting enough medical care to be worried enough about it. (Don't be concerned-- I mostly get over it, and I do have access to medical care, so if I do get worried enough, I can just go to the doctor). But, it's eerie sometimes.
I think you just made me cry, Xtin. In a good way, I mean.
Thanks for the support, you guys.
I was going to say that I'm one of the few people on the planet who truly understand your angst - however, it seems that there are at least another 34!
Best wishes
Many, many huggles from this Muggle.
*hugs* I'm still recovering from the cute overload today. BB will always be fantastic, whatever size she is.
Hugs, Phantom. Sorry this is all so stressful. But no matter what size BB ends up being, her intellect and wit will no doubt be HUGE, if her present levels are any indication!
I assume this is the unbloggable stuff that Mr. B said to go ahead and blog. I'm sorry this is such a source of stress in all of your lives, and am glad that you have an outlet to talk about it.
For what it's worth, I was off the growth charts as a child, and I'm a short adult, but on the charts (5' even). So she may well catch up.
And it's not fair, but it's easier to be a short woman in our society than a short man.
My dad's family are all short, and I topped out at five feet, I believe in the fifth grade. I also grew up with a girl who was 4'10" and was not considered a dwarf - she was just very petite. And cute. Super, super cute. I know this is all very stressful, and I hope it resolves soon.
Sorry about the stress. Stress sucks.
Not that it bears on the anxiety, but I also just felt like chiming in as another shorty (so many of us!). Five-foot-one, even though through 6th grade I was always one of the tallest (if not THE tallest) girl in my class. Just stopped growing one day. Weird. Well, at least it didn't hinder my mad lawyerin' skillz.
No real advice, just hugs for all of you. We don't have (many) feeding issues, but Madam's lack of speech has had a similar obsessional (is that a word? Sleep deprived here) effect on our family.
BB is such a fabulous little person--I am sending her all of my excess hungry vibes...and believe me, there are PLENTY!
I for one constantly forget that BB has any weight/eating issues because my jaw is on the ground at how advanced she is! I can't believe what a personality she has, and it must be doubly charming coming from such a wee thing.
The way I see it, if she were really so lacking in nutrition that her long-term growth were affected, wouldn't it be more obvious in her mental and social development, too? I can't imagine that a malnourished child would have the energy and creativity and brilliance of Baby Blue.
Someday, you'll look back on this and laugh. You'll never want to look at pasta or ice cream again, though!
I'm sending so many hugs for you and the rest of the Scribbler-Blues. Baby Blue is super fabulous and will be, regardless of whatever height she ends up being. (And the members of my brother's girlfriend's family are all _well_ under 5 feet tall and they get along just fine.)
Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.
I've been so out of it these days, but I'm glad you updated. I'd been thinking about you and wondering what was up. I'm so happy to hear about some weight gain, but sorry to hear about stress. It is so hard not to worry about everything about these little munchkins, no?
Hugs being sent your way, and lots of calories being sent BB's way.
Thinking of you.
(((Phantom)))
QoWP is right--Baby Blue will be fabulous whether she's a size 0 or a size 6.
(And I, for one, am constantly judging my shorter friends to be much taller than they actually are because of the size of their personalities.)
My pediatrician insisted I'd never make it past 5 feet, and here I am a tad over 5' 2". I seemingly kept growing after most people stop, because it came late.
I actually reached 5'3 but has we all know that we end up shrinking with age anyway.I was the shortest out of 6 kids i was also the second oldest so wht did i end up being the shortest one.All my siblings range from 5'4 to 5'11 with my brother being the tallest which i expected.I think my shorter than average height is due to crohns disease.I now have 2 kids both taller than me.I did however find it hard watching all my siblings overtake me in height.I mean my parents were both 5'7.I think maybe i took after one of my g.parents has they were both 5'4.Even now i am still shorter than my living gran and she has also lost height but still has the edge on me.
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