I think the "come early and help" rule has to be applied carefully, as for some people having someone come early will stress them even more, even if it's to help. So long as you call first I guess it should be fine, though.
As a general rule, I come on time, but she's a good friend who has offered to and come by early to help me set up in the past, so I figured she wouldn't mind, since we had already established that dynamic. In general though, I agree--it can stress some people out. Since I usually get so messy and sweaty cooking (flour everywhere, in my hair, etc.), I usually cook first, and then shower. Guests arriving too early would mean me telling them "go hang out in the living room while I shower." But that's because I generally do everything myself, which I'm starting to learn not to do. I really welcome guests bringing me wine, for example, since I hate spending so much money on alcohol when I'm already spending money on and making appetizers, dinner, and dessert. I also don't make very good salads, so sometimes I allow good friend guests to bring salad or bread. All those extra things you forget round out a meal, when you're flustered and trying to make a soup, entree, and dessert.
Actually, it’s polite to arrive early. And smart. Only really good friends show up early. Ergo de facto, arrive early; become a good friend.
I do try hard not to arrive late to parties, though, because there are few things worse than having a party, having the scheduled time come, and having no one there. So, I always try to arrive on time.
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