The Boy on Top
Boy, that was beautiful And sad. And hopeful. Can you hug the person who has just lost her someone? Hugs to you, too.
Thanks, and no. To be honest I don't really know her, just her loss. Yet the virtual hug is there TB
omg...how our stories paralell...i'm sitting here bawling my eyes out, but also knowing that I'll get thru this too...and someday I want to write a story about my hub...he was the greatest....Thank you for touching my heart and I hope and prayer that you;ll be ok. Thank you for giving me a piece of your hope....
Hugs and peace
You will Odat, you will. My time was over 15 years ago, and I'm OK. Not a day goes by that I don't remember, but neither does the pain dominate my life any more, though it one time did. Grab the hope, and take that next step, and the next, and breath... TB
Thank you for sharing this. You are right, of course - life does go on, and one continues to breath in and out, and slowly the days pass by. But you're also right in that having someone tell you this can be enormously helpful.
x
I know it helped me more than the hundreds of words of support when I was taken aside and told a simple message. You sort of run on autopilot for a while as the grief takes over. For me it was a bit of a jump start, though oddly delayed. I heard the words, but they didn't sink in for quite some time. TB
This was lovely. I can't add anything of any importance. X
I think that nowadays people are expected to recover from grief quite quickly - they are offered 'counselling' as if that's a cure. It isn't helped by the plots of soaps, for example, that after a few weeks say that so-and-so is coming to terms with the loss, and the story moves on without reference to the person who's died. It's not like that - it's a long time before the pain ebbs - but also, as you say, in the meantime one carries on living and breathing and sometimes even laughing, but time and space to grieve, with friends to listen when you need them, carries on for a long time.
Too true. There is no cure for grief, there is just living on. Life and happiness do return, but that's not the same as the grief going away. Like a chronically painful back, you just learn to live with it. Our society doesn't quite know how to deal with it though, so as you say, treats it as an illness. TB
Touching writing Boy - I'm glad you've been able to share it.
I was holding Wifey when she had her stroke - I remember the days the the hospital - waiting rooms in an intensive care unit bring together people who all have one thing in common; their loved ones are gravely ill.
As you know, thankfully my story differs and Wifey didn't have a second stroke, rather she recoverd and came back to me, but your writing has taken me back to that hospitalo waiting room in Florida....
Horrible places and horrible memories no matter what the outcome. TB
Good Luck to "Her". I was nearly asleep with my head on my Dad's hospital bed next to his side when he died. I wouldn't have it any other way. I was glad that I was there at the end. Cheers!!
I'm having problems posting...I was nearly asleep with my head on my Dad's hospital bed next to his side when he died. I am glad I was there. Tell "her", good luck. Cheers Boy!!
It does matter, at a minimum to those who stay. If we're very lucky to those who leave as well. I'm glad you where there for him. No one should leave life alone. TB
In a way I envy you the chance to be there; I'd promised myself I would be for my parents, but it didn't work out that way. But thank you for writing from the heart, and I wish someone had given me that message then. I really appreciate what you wrote.
Even hearing the message you have to learn it for yourself. TB
Soz mate. Read the first line and bottled it.
Both 15. She was in the bath. Speed o/d. Took several coppers 'n ambulancemen to get me off of her.
I say "Cheers babe" to the stars every New Years Eve. 35 years and it's never left.
Hugs mate.
You've mentioned, but blimey... The pain fades, but never goes away does it? Its strange what can bring it back. January blues eh? TB
Had a beer, gritted the teeth 'n read it.
More hugs mate.
Raise a glass New years Eve eh?
I do a walk in the woods. Don't know why, but its what I've done. Thanks. TB
I've never actually been moved by a blog post, ney writing before, certainly not in that way. So touching and so scary. I'm in the fortunate position where I've not had to experience such pain, although I'm pretty sure it's not long now with at least one parent. And I can honestly say nothing, and I mean nothing, scares me more than the thought of that moment.
Thank you for your writing. Really amazing.
This may sound mad, but being there at the end of a life was to me as much a privilege as being at the birth of my children. Saying that, the later is filled with unbelievable joy, the former with such pain. Don't be scared of the moment, it will hurt, but its a hurt that must come into every person's life. Breath, stand up and walk on. Its the only thing you can do.
And thank you. TB
Bravo, for putting it all down here with honesty and feeling. I have a memory like that with a child I was nursing......it doesn't go away, just shapes your future a little more
That it does, that it does. TB
such a touching and honestly written post, thanks for sharing that, and thanks again ...X
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