I'll answer Question #1. Maybe the next person can answer number 2.

1.) Is this development surprising to you? Why or why not?

1.) Is this development surprising to you? Why or why not?

Not really...I mean, we see it EVERYWHERE we look. Has it really taken these "experts" that long to recognize reality?

2.) Do you think the idea that adultescences is a time for young people to be irresponsible and carefree is any sillier than the idea that adolescence serves a similar purpose? Why or why not?

I don't think that any idea lacks more intelligence than "adolescence." If anything, the stupidity of them both is equal. Ancient society's had it figured out - once a kid turned 13 or 14, he/she was an adult. They might still live at home until they married (which could be a short time or not) but they were adults and had to take on adult responsibilities. It made for a stronger and healthier society.

3.) Do you know any Kidults? Without giving any names, briefly describe their lifestyle.

No I don't. See them? yes. Know them? No.
David Ketter | Homepage | 09.06.05 - 2:01 pm | #

I've got to concur with your answer to #2 David - I was going to say the same thing. The age has been slipping back over the years. It makes you wonder - if it keeps going at this rate, will maturity eventually be extinct? Will there come a point when there is nearly no responsibility at any age? It's a scary thought.
Alex King | Homepage | 09.06.05 - 2:48 pm | #

1.) Is this development surprising to you? Why or why not?

Not really. Being 20 myself I see this in my own life. I don't live with my parents, but I am still dependant on them in many ways. I spent the last year in Switzerland, figuring out what to do with my life, and now I am finishing college in the States with my parents' help.

3.) Do you know any Kidults? Without giving any names, briefly describe their lifestyle.

Yes, I know many. They live at home, may or may not have a job, and rely on their parents for everything. They party a lot, spend money on things like clothes and electronics, and they have no long term goals.
Nathan Sheets | Homepage | 09.06.05 - 3:55 pm | #

Good questions, Alex. In the last thirty years marriage and family have been pushed back half a decade. Many adult responsibilities are being shouldered 10 to 15 years later than they used to be.
Brett Harris | Homepage | 09.06.05 - 3:56 pm | #

3.) Do you know any Kidults? Without giving any names, briefly describe their lifestyle.

Yes, I met dozens of kidults and not only in the age range of 18-25 but also from 25-60. One of the main characteristic is not wanting to take responsibility or be responsible for their actions, words, and/or deeds. Also they blame circumstances or others for what has happened to them or what will happen. The root of this problem is how one covers their sin. It is nothing new because it happened at the fall. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. They lied to themselves and did not face the ugliness of their sin and this is what the kidults do too.
Grace Petitmermet | 09.06.05 - 4:22 pm | #

Not only do 20-somethings act like kids, it's not uncommon to see 40 year old men and women dressing and acting like kids as well. I wonder why there is such an attraction. It's not at all fulfilling to live without responsibility and to feel insignificant. People are being fooled into believing that freedom is the opposite of responsibility.
Karen K | 09.06.05 - 6:10 pm | #

Karen, I don't think it's so much an "attraction" as it is a logical continuation of the myth of adolescence. Irresponsible and immature teenagers become irresponsible and immature adults. We're seeing the fruit of our culture's low expectations over the past 20-50 years. With expectations even lower, and media more powerful, it will only get worse... There needs to be a backlash. A rebelution.
Alex Jordan Harris | Homepage | 09.06.05 - 6:37 pm | #

1.) Is this development surprising to you? Why or why not?

no. this does not surprise me. i think that this culture stemmed out from the movement of women from the home to the workplace and the birth of the career woman. diligence has always been a part of america's puritan culture. once the women took on other roles besides motherhood and being a wife (i.e. working), they began making up for lost time with their children by spoiling them. if the children are raised like that, then mostly likely they'd be kidults.

i think it's sad, but i wouldnt, for a second, have society revert back to the "Pleasantville" days where women's only purpose was to be wife and mother to put an end to kidult culture.

i think that it would be good public policy if the government were to impose a tax on parents,who still have their kidults live at home.but i can't think of a way how that would be enforced, without coming off as fascist.
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the other side: new york city is very expenisve. neighborhoods which used to be considered poor are being invaded by spoiled, rich, white kids whose parents pay for their rent. the property value increases and the original (can't afford 1200/month rent)new yorkers are being pushed farther into the periphery, where rent is not as expensive, but transportation is a killer. affluent, usually white, people who have their parents pay for their stuff should be classified as the kidults. with minorities, it is not the same. we live with our parents still due to our disadvantages in education (property tax funds education in new york state. how many people can u tax for property, when over 90% of nyc rents?) and everything that is the outcome of that.

in spite of what the media may have the world think about ghetto children, no one chooses to be poor. no one wants to suffer. and if u took a walk in a ghetto neighborhood, u realize that people work hard, but the wage increases do no go up as fast as the prices do. people who grew up poor shouldnt be considered kidults. you always see minority kids working in fast food joints while in school. if that isnt responsibility, then i dont know wut is.
elien | 09.06.05 - 7:52 pm | #

Elien, excellent point regarding minority kids. Those who are poor aren't trying to extend financial insecurity and as an extension, adult responsibilities such as marriage and family. Their postponment is a result of real need.
Brett Harris | Homepage | 09.06.05 - 8:06 pm | #

Thank you, Brett and Alex, for beginning this blog. I have truly enjoyed reading the challenging and encouraging articles published on this site.

1. Is this development surprising to you? Why or why not?

This development does not surprise me in the least. I have seen it played out in the life of a close relative as well as in the lives of some formerly homeschooled friends.

2. Do you think the idea that adultescences is a time for young people to be irresponsible and carefree is any sillier than the idea that adolescence serves a similar purpose? Why or why not?

I agree with David.

3. Do you know any Kidults? Without giving any names, briefly describe their lifestyle.

Unfortunately, I know several Kidults. The ones I know live at home and may or may not have a job, depending on the time of year. They do not reimburse their parents for room or board. Some of them have been saying for the last two years that they are going to work on getting a GED, but as far as I know, they have made little or no progress in that direction.
Adrielle | 09.07.05 - 3:11 pm | #

This is so embarrasing, but two of my 3 brothers are kidults. I am the youngest and I married at 21, while 30 and 25 year old brothers just moved out of my parents house last year. The 30 year old did live away from home for a few years when he was going to college (7 years and no degree). The only reason that they no longer live at home is because one of my brothers is fairly motivated and he pushed them to buy a house together.
sarah faith | Homepage | 09.14.05 - 7:11 am | #

I find what you guys said scary. I myself am still a younger teenager, but I dread growing up. For some reason, I have it in my head that growing up is one of the worst things that can happen to someone. This idea probably comes from observing kids my age or just a little older who are maturing, but don't have time to play with the smaller kids and less grown-up teens. Doesn't growing up involve keeping your sense of humor, playing with little kids, but just getting more responsibility and learning how to deal with it effectively?

Well, now you know what I think!
Allegra | 09.15.05 - 10:58 am | #

Now I am scared! The experts werent raised the way I was. And to think that our young irresponsible people will be our future leaders. Will they live long enough to "grow up"? Thanks for the post.
Jill | Homepage | 10.03.05 - 8:40 am | #

This is totally me all the way. Are you saying its bad to be like this? Who is judging whose lifestyle?
dave bones | Homepage | 12.08.05 - 5:50 pm | #

I am from a cuban background, and in our culture it is fine for an almost 30 year old to be living at home. I'm not saying that it's a good thing. but I know people who are intheir twenties, live at home, and just mooch off their parents. They don't do anything around the house (and they have a MMORPG gaming addiction, but would never admit it) *cough* my brother *cough* all he does is play the game, sleep, and eat. I don't like that. but if the person works around the house and does thier share, I think it's fine
Heather | 03.01.06 - 2:22 pm | #

I agree with you but to a certain limit .I'm from different culture (Egypt) and I have been in the USA for 20 years .I find it very helpfull to our teens generation to encourage them to stay home and HOLD A JOB till they finish their under grad school .By that time they are mature and strong enough to face the storms we have in our society .Also it is cretical age (teens ) to strengthen the family bond wich we have ben lacking in our life tsyle
wafaa hanna | 03.21.06 - 9:05 am | #

While I can agree that many 20-somethings may not have the maturity to "leave the nest", have you NOTICED just how expensive it is to live on one's own? Car insurance, home or renters insurance, accelerating gas prices, car payments and rent (not including general living expenses) can easily inundate a person!
John M. Kirton II | 03.21.06 - 4:22 pm | #

Everyone: Alex and I are not against twentysomethings staying home with their parents as long as necessary. We just have a problem with them mooching off their parents while running from responsibility. Thanks for reading!
Brett Harris | Homepage | 03.22.06 - 5:57 am | #

#1: This development is absolutely unsurprising to me. American society has coddled children into irresponsible monsters. I have babysat children who have no concept of discipline or accountability for one's actions. it's ridiculus to think of what those children will be like as adults. their automatic response to anything tough is "it's not my fault!" and unfortunately i think that's not going to suddenly stop at 25, why should it? at least they'll be consistent in their inconsistency. Anyone who needs affirmation in that school of thought just needs to watch one of the Nanny 911 shows or maybe Honey We're Killing The Kids to get a concept of what these children are like.

#2: The idea of adultescence or adolescence being a time for kids (or kidults) to be irresponsible and carefree is absurd. don't get me wrong, adolescents should enjoy their freedom from bills and marraige and such while it lasts, but they (we) also need to learn what it means to be responsible. The adolescents have also got to learn to be empathetic. Correct me if i'm wrong, but the majority of people in our world are gravely lacking in the compassion area. Hopefully Christ will get to the forefront soon because it'll take divine intervention to fix our society.

#3: I don't know any kidults. The older people that i know that live at home are all going to college and they're just trying to cut their expenses.
Crystal Simone (17) | 07.10.06 - 9:07 pm | #

I'm more then a bit late in coming to your blog; a good Kiwi friend sent me the link to the first post in the "Twixter" series as she had pointed out that I fall very squarely into this generational developement, at the emotional peril of my parents.

Anyway, is answer to your questions as I read, and as based on my opinions, I'll be commenting.

1) I was honestly very surprised when my friend brought it to my notice; this is just further proof to how oblivious one can be when they are involved in the middle of something. But based on the way our society behaves, changes, and treats its younger population, I am not surprised.

2) I think it serves a slightly different purpose. At the older age, we have the ability to expirience more and do more then dabble in something- we can dive in head first and hope we don't crack our skulls open on the bottom of the pool. Is this better? I don't know. The only thing that comes to mind is cliched, but time will tell soon enough.

3) Me! (No, I'm not entirely proud of this.) 25, living at home, unemployed, very unstable relationships of just about every kind, could be a very long list.
Debra | Homepage | 07.26.06 - 4:07 am | #

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adbio | Homepage | 08.27.07 - 1:22 am | #

I think the pendulum swings when the air is disturbed or something else is. Anciant cultures actually had a number of ways of dealing with growing up, and around half had a concept of adolescence. what's a mess is the "new adolescence", coined in the late 1980's to describe how childhood had become a stage of absoloute uselessness, isolation from learning or truth, and complete unfreedom, while adulthood had become a time with no more creativity if one had ever had any, no more friends or time for them, and a life that had to revolve entirely around one's kids if one had any every single second, while ad culture taught that what used to be middle-class was unacceptable poverty and the real market had no room for these rising expectations. So, to accommodate, adolescence stetched. It had been about 15 to 23 when people developed more slowly physically, somewhat like 13 to 20 or so today. It had once meant exactly what the new adultescence means now: a chance for soul-searching and trying out occupations. A chance to find a spouse. It worked. Nearly everyone at 23 was married or in a religious community or in some other stable situation, raising young ones, skilled at something, and sure of how to live and who they were. Nearly everyone at 14 (hormonally like 12 now) was sexually innocent, obedient to parents or foster parents, gainfully employed or in serious study, and capable of free, joyful play when the day's work was done.
People started developing faster, and adolescence became 13-21. Then scientists changed its name from "youth", a healthy word with confident associations, to the scary-sounding "adolescence", which just means "growing up". They studied the always-known traits of youth (impulsivity, emotionalism, simplistic reasoning etc.) and said they were signs the young couldn't take risks or make decisions. They had to be kept in cages until they were 21. Well, there they couldn't learn what they had to to grow up, so preadolescence and postadolescence were "discovered". Tese too were isolated from the real world, and voila! The periods before and after them suddenly became scary in-between ages, too. Eventually "adolescence" will cover all of life. By the early 90's the "new adolescence" included about 7-35-year-olds. In other words, you can be an adolescent and the parent of some adolescents of your own at the same time. having had no chance to use real youth as youth, the new adults are using adulthood in that same capacity. No surprise. When 7-35 is sequestered and picked on, 4-45 wil become the new no-man's-land. Then 2-55, I suppose. Then 1-70. Then every part of life. I say, resist and grow up.
serena | Homepage | 09.05.07 - 1:56 pm | #