The People Will Have Their Say
Thank you for clearing all of this up!
Any chance you folk can settle on one spelling for Hanukkah? Can you bring it up at the next meeting? It's really the only problem I have with the holiday, considering I'm already so poor at spelling.
Also, it makes Googling Hanukkah a lot harder.
Hey, that would make a good name for a children's book on inter-faith holiday education. "Googling Hanukkah for Gentiles"
This was a riot... I laffed out loud. However I'm going to respond to a couple of these points with questions I've always had about Hanukkah. Forgive my naivete.
(1) About the Jewish calendar - how much use does it see? Is it used every day or it it basically used for marking observances and holidays? If I were to walk up to the average Jew on the street and ask "what's the date today" would the first thing that popped into his or her head be a Gregorian date or a Hebrew date (generally)? When people who practice the Jewish faith discuss events in their lives with each other, which calendar do they generally use, and it does it depend on how old they are? "I still remember back in 5746, we had such a snowstorm right around the end of Shevat!"
(3) Okay, I didn't know who or what RaMBaM was, so for anyone else who wants to know: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rambam.
(4) Well, apart from "x-mas" yeah, there's basically only one spelling. Presumably in the Hebrew alphabet there's only one spelling of Hanukkah, right? I wonder about the leading "C". Is Hanukkah sometimes pronounced with a glottal CH at the beginning? Like the X in Mexico when spoken in Spanish? I'm writing an article on the spellings of Hanukkah right now because you got me interested in it. What I will tell you is this: if you spell it HANUKKAH you're probably right.
(6) No instead you have to worry about contributing to global warming by burning vegetable matter. Hey we all have to worry about something! 
(
-(11) These made me laugh loudest, (7) was pretty funny too.
You have to admit, that whole virgin birth thing was pretty much the best excuse ever.
My boring article on Hanukkah spellings: http://unbecominglevity.blogharb...17/
1453582.html
BTW - mock apology accepted.
A conversation I overheard the other day:
"Who was that 12th century rabbi who wrote the Mishneh Torah?"
"Rambam"
"Thank you, Ma'am."
"If you are mock-offended, I mock-apologize."
What do i get if i am wearing a mock-turtleneck?
Don't Jewish women have food processors? At least a Salad Shooter?
Of course the Dec 25 thing is all off anyway. Unlike the studious and well-organized jews, who can tell you pretty much everyone who begot anyone from Abraham to briwei, the early christians apparantly weren't much for record keeping.
Perhaps they were too busy running away from lions, or romans or something, but best guess is they just picked the winter solstace because all the pagans were throwing a party anyway.
Then again, maybe they were just flummuxed trying to figure out that dang jewish calendar.
If you want to read a christmas story that will really blow your mind, check this out: http://www.religioustolerance.or...rg/
xmas_sel.htm
Anyone been watching SNL lately? Their NBC "Holiday Special" was hillarious.
Remember folks, only 5 more shopping days 'till Holiday.
Rambam, thank you ma'am? LOL! I love it. Thanks for the laugh!
Chuck, in answer to your questions, most American Jews have only marginal awareness of the Jewish calendar. The dates hold little meaning except in a few important cases, such as "when is Yom Kippur?" or "when is Purim?". I don't know any Jews who think first in the Jewish calendar and then in the Gregorian. I know some who keep up with both as the Jewish calendar tells what Torah portion will be read on Shabat. It's also important in the funeral, headstone, and memorial arenas.
There are two ways to spell it in Hebrew, and that is only because there are two ways to make the "oo" sound. One uses a regular letter and the other uses a below the line vowel.
Dawn - I think you get mock protection from vampires. I'll have to check. The mock turtleneck may be the official garb of the mock offended.
Julie - Nah. It gets in the way of the suffering.
Scott - one of the things I find interesting is the Christmas is December 25 and Hanukkah is Kislev 25. Can't be a coincidence. I wonder if they were both ripping it off from someone else or if the Christians used the 25th to lure some Jews and the December to lure the pagans. I mean, if they were going to co-opt solstice traditions, why not make Christmas 12/21?
Because they didn't know when the solstice was. It took them until around the 25th to detect that the days were getting longer again, using the technology of the time.
Anyhow, there's another hting to throw at "reason for the season" people. If my family suddenly forgot when my birthday was and picked a pre-existing holiday to celebrate, I'd be really impressed at how important they thought my birthday was.
Heh. I can't remember when James' birthday is. I think it was near the end of October. Let's celebrate it on Halloween as we are already celebrating that day. Maybe then more people will celebrate his birthday.
James. Can you do a miracle or two? It'd help with my getting other people to reclaim Halloween as the day of your birth.
You want a miracle? Ask him to make Bananas Foster for you sometime.
LOL! The miracle of the bananas and the alcohol. I think we have the beginnings of a fine religion here. "The shoe! Follow the shoe!"
No the gourd dammit.
By the way James is not the messiah he's a very naughty boy.
Um, Bob, what are you saying? Is there something I should know?
No no just follwing up on Brian's "Life of Brian" reference.
All- This has been the most fun with the 'holidays' I've had in a very very long time. I think I actually offended someone at the office today. RobP knew that I am not an actual Christian. He likes to poke fun of Unitatiarn Universalism (which is ok, we poke fun at it more than anyone else). So he said, "So, should I wish you a Merry Christmas, or Happy Hannukkah, some witchy nature thing, or what?" I replied, "Actually, my holiday was night before last. My church even had a service for the Solstice." He made disparaging noises and walked away.
I don't really care. I may go to Christmas Eve services tomorrow night (yes, held in the same church that held the Solstice service), but mostly to socialize with some church friends (and to have something to do after dinner since everything else will be closed).
Another work friend gave me a new way to spell the Christian holiday. It is my new favorite word: Xmoose. (I live in New England, so this is extremely special.)
My second best holiday experience was turning on the radio yesterday and catching Adam Sandler's Hannukkah Song. I played it for my twelve year old. He was rolling in the floor, literally.
As to mock offense. I hope I have not contributed any more to the mock pile. And, a mock turtleneck does not protect you from vampires. It protects you from mock vampires. Just remember to get some garlic from the mock sweedish chef: "bork, bork, bork".
And give me back my juniper berries! Loretta and I were going to make a pie with them.
Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy Hannukkah. Joyous Kwanza. let's eat!
I also just stumbled on this humorous NPR piece regarding the current controversy over "Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas". Enjoy!
http://www.npr.org/templates/
sto...storyId=5060356
this article helped me out sooo
much!
thankz
I loved this piece, and the follow up comments! As a person who was a childhood Unitarian Universalist, adult (now non-practicing) Roman Catholic convert, with parents who became Zen Buddhists, and with several very, very dear Jewish friends, I have, shall we say, a rather eclectic religous life. But it's fun and I'm glad to have stumble upon other people with a sense of humor about this stuff. This made me laugh at a time when I really need to. Thank you all so much!
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