..I sneezed toenails.
MrsSmal | 04.10.07 - 9:39 am | #

The next day I stubbed my toe so hard that...poosh!...it burst open like an overripe cherry-tomato slammed in a car door. Blood splashed across the room to create a David Lynch inspired Jackson Pollack painting. Looking down, I felt something dangling from my nose akin to a crusty morning booger. I dislodged the object with my finger and inspected ..my toenail!

I laughed so hard I farted.
dlee | 04.10.07 - 9:43 am | #

The next day I stubbed my toe so hard that...
...they cancelled Christmas forever.
...people went back in time and began attacking def, gay couples.
...Don Imus apologized for the pain it caused.
PoCho Pete | Homepage | 04.10.07 - 10:54 am | #

Yesterday there was a minute and a half of dead air on NPR's "Day to Day." So somebody fucked up at work this week a lot more deeply and visibly than you did.

The next day I stubbed my toe so hard that blood replaced the ice in Ann Coulter's veins.
Christina | Homepage | 04.10.07 - 12:51 pm | #

the next day i stubbed my toe so hard that a moustache popped out of my face
crsmal | Homepage | 04.10.07 - 6:53 pm | #

I stubbed my toe so hard that my epithets yelled epithets.
Kois | Homepage | 04.10.07 - 9:00 pm | #

I stubbed my toe so hard Ron Jeremy phoned me for banging tips.
q.w. shnausenbongle, md. | 04.10.07 - 10:08 pm | #

I stubbed my toe so hard that my toe bone turned to dust, then recalcified in the shape of a reindeer.
Joe M. | Homepage | 04.11.07 - 11:29 am | #

I stubbed my toe so hard the yowl was heard by a coyote in New Jersey. Flushed out of the woods, the coyote attacked little Liam Sadler. I guess the coyote thought the kid was the cause of this horrible pain filled yodle and wanted him to shut up or maybe he just attacked little Liam because he was wearing a Mets tee-shirt.
Sponsor | 04.11.07 - 4:21 pm | #

i stubbed my toe so hard toe jam came spurting out my nose.
mrs deion | Homepage | 04.12.07 - 9:22 am | #

Hans,

This morning I overheard a guy ordering an onion bagel with peanut butter and jelly. I figured that would probably make your Bagel Depth Chart: http://verbungle.com/ bagel_depth...depth_chart.htm.
Joe M. | Homepage | 04.12.07 - 9:53 am | #

i stubbed my toe so hard the mars surveyor turned itself back on
q.w. shnausenbongle, m.d. | 04.14.07 - 11:38 pm | #

Hope everything is alright.
PoCho Pete | Homepage | 04.16.07 - 9:22 pm | #

i stubbed my toe so hard the internets turned off.
q.w. shnausenbongle, m.d. | 04.17.07 - 10:30 am | #

There's a famous story where Robert Mitchum walks into studio head David O Selznick's office, pulls down his pants and takes a crap on his white carpet.

I hope Emeril is pinching a loaf right now.

Good read:
http://blog.ruhlman.com/2007/04/ ...abulous_fo.html
cW | Homepage | 04.17.07 - 6:08 pm | #

hans i bet you had some thoughts today. why don't you type them up and shoot em out on the the internet?
pbdotc | 04.20.07 - 10:34 am | #

Post please. Please?
Joe M. | Homepage | 04.30.07 - 11:23 am | #

STEVE. POST. NOW!
MrsSmal | 04.30.07 - 12:33 pm | #