little boys / the ladies


Road Rage/A State of Zen


1. smoking (though I quit)/exercise
2. nachos/healthy shit
3. cursing/using 'real' words
4. T.V./book clubs
5. sitting on my ass/running around doing a lot of new, interesting crap
6. eating out/cooking


more/enough
being a dilettante/being an expert
magazines/books
watching TV on DVD/watching documentaries

Damn, I have to go see if there are some Cheetos up in the vending machine.


writing fiction / posting chimps on the internet for cash

ps. it's only a matter of time now until someone claims to discover a gay dinosaur don't even worry about it


gay sheep/gay dinosaurs
weed/hash
Hagar/Roth
Bears/Cowboys
masturbation/blowjob


can i reverse mine?

posting chimps on internet for cash / writing fiction


Mets/Red Sox
Burritos from our local taco joint/tofu salads
poker/yoga
being single/marriage


being jealous of more successful writers / editing and revising

thinking of pie-in-the-sky future plans / actually initiating pie-in-the-sky future plans

farting / drinking water

buying shit / learning about investing and whatnot

watching sesame street with my daughter / playing clever interactive learning games with my daughter

ben & jerry's / not fucking eating ben & jerry's every night


an arrow pointing down

"i'm with the anaconda"


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