I'm sure I've seen a number of ladies wearing hats adorned with things that looked like fruit but weren't. I seem to remember as a child eating things that looked somewhat like fried eggs, but were in fact made of sugar and chemicals.

Candle wax isn't actually toxic, though, is it. The only danger of a novelty candle shaped like an apple is that a child bites into it and gets an unpleasant taste and feel in his mouth. The risk of choking has to be so close to zero as to be unmeasureable.
Sam | 11.16.05 - 6:43 pm | #

Carmen Miranda - Archvillain.
Tony.T | Homepage | 11.16.05 - 9:26 pm | #

What about all the firms who produce fake fruit for display purposes and for TV and films? Surely that's not illegal?
Flobert | 11.16.05 - 9:32 pm | #

I thought it was the Express, not the Daily 'Hurrah for the Blackshirts' Mail. I saw it on a deep shelf and correctly predicted the last line ('asylum seekers') which gave me a small consolatory inner glow.

So is all that fake plastic food that every toyshop in the land sells also illegal, then? And am I breaking the law letting children play with it? Seems crazy if so - it's political correctness gone mad. I shall write an angry letter to the Express about it . . . oh bugger . . .
Chris | 11.16.05 - 10:30 pm | #

You are quite right Chris - I have put it right. Thanks for that.
bystander | Homepage | 11.16.05 - 11:15 pm | #

It seems to be a similarity between that law and the adverts that Stellios (The "Easy" business magnate) is taking out whole page adverts in The Times lampooning "Orange" for trying to sue them for using the colour orange as part of their branding...

Surely these laws are a little silly?
Lennie Briscoe | Homepage | 11.17.05 - 9:21 am | #

So are Orange trying to sue B&Q as well, or just the Easy group? What's interesting about this is that Stelios hasn't been backward in taking legal action against anybody else having the temerity to use the word 'Easy' in their business name.
david c | 11.17.05 - 9:45 am | #

So that's why Sainsbury's are changing their colour scheme then.
acb | Homepage | 11.17.05 - 10:27 am | #

Yes, brilliant : drugs, crime, asylum seekers, gypsies and princess Di all stirred in with a generous dose of political correctness gone mad. A classic of the genre. I hope you didn't buy a copy though, bystander - it only encourages them.
martin s | 11.17.05 - 11:55 am | #

Saw yesterday's Express being read by some (human-looking) bod on the train. outstanding. Text book stuff. Any more perfect and the paper would probably explode. Or something.
Bill | 11.17.05 - 2:30 pm | #

I'm intrigued, Bystander - have you had a case brought before you on the Fake Fruit Laws? If so, can you tell us more?
TSP | 11.17.05 - 2:57 pm | #

TSP

Indeed I have, but time must pass before I can comment further!
bystander | Homepage | 11.17.05 - 3:02 pm | #

Fried egg sweets are legal under the above mentioned act. As is any fake food made out of edible ingredients.
Biscit | Homepage | 11.17.05 - 4:29 pm | #

So where does that leave the makers of Pot Noodle?
Ant | Homepage | 11.18.05 - 1:04 pm | #

Bystander:

Alas! I shall await it with bated breath (and whispering humbleness).
TSP | 11.18.05 - 1:04 pm | #

Ant - ROFLMFAO!
Another Constable | Homepage | 11.18.05 - 1:42 pm | #

And what about all those plastic food-shaped dog toys?
Mogg | 11.18.05 - 2:29 pm | #

but the (b) clause means that it's only illegal if treating it like food could kill or seriously injure someone. Doesn't seem so unreasonable. In other words, if you make fake food, it must be safe to put in the mouth and chew!
Peter Bagnall | 11.18.05 - 10:29 pm | #

So where do McDonalds stand in the 'fake food' thingy? Some of their so-called 'breakfasts' are truly inedible...
Sandy | Homepage | 11.19.05 - 9:16 am | #

Wasn't quite as good as the Daily Mails "Let Them Stay" earlier in the year which had me on the floor in a combination of tears and laughter.
Baz Rush | 11.19.05 - 1:08 pm | #

I think this business with the artificial fruit is, as with so much that is hateful about modern society, largely Esther sodding Rantzen's fault - scented pencil erasers in the shape of fruit used to be quite popular in the late 70s, as I remember, until That's Life started a campaign against them because some kids died after getting them stuck in their windpipes. Populist TV show campaign results in bizarre, badly thought-through and not unstupid law shock horror.
Joe | 12.05.05 - 12:29 pm | #

My wife wrote to the then PM about the '89 act, as in its original form, it would have made the contents of Queen Mary's dollshouse at Windsor illegal - as a result, this bit was added:

"goods" do not include those mentioned in section 11(7)(a) to (d) of the Consumer Protection Act 1987 or-

/snip/

(b) products bona fide intended for use to represent food in a dolls' house or other model scene or setting

We always wondered what M Thatcher did with the tiny bag of one-twelth scale rashers of bacon that was attached to the letter...

dbmd
dbmd | 01.01.06 - 10:01 pm | #