I'm very much surprised I didn't have more concussions when I was a kid. One major (concrete block dropped on my head) and several minor (pick-up football games in the neighborhood) were all I had, and fortunately I've suffered no ill effects.
my daughter's use of mouthguards and helmets with faceguards (in softball) have been a revelation to me, who would never thought of using either as a kid. how do they pick up the ball in those contraptions? But with the tweeners topping 50 mph on their pitches, it gets a little scary.
As for the day when she cuts the tie to me, i assume we'll still be getting her cell phone bill. 
Thanks for the parenting - one doesn't get to see this as often as we used to...
I have a good friend who plays on my softball team—and when she's not doing that, she's an equestrienne. She's done it since she was a child and has the scars to prove it.
She's broken eight of her fingers, either falling or snagging them in the reins while falling. Fractured her collarbone, an arm, an ankle, a leg—and six concussions.
Six. Spaced out over eleven years.
Knocked out by a spooked horse in a stall—BAM!—right into the wall. Kicked while checking a hoof when wasps set upon another horse. The other four from falls while jumping.
My friend, we'll call her “R”, hipped me to something about her concussions. A fella she was dating—who boxed—got her started doing exercises to build up her neck muscles. He'd done that, as a lot of boxers do, to lessen the “whip” action of the head when suddenly shaken.
That's what causes concussions—sudden, violent movement of the brain within the skull. Ostensibly, a stiffer, more stable neck lessens that damaging “whipping” effect. Since “R” started those exercises, and built up her neck (men tend to have a LOT more thick, neck muscle, which probably has something to do with the lesser amount of concussions) muscles, she's had none.
That was seven years ago according to her.
She still has her moments when she fogs out occasionally she says. It's from the combined effect of all the K.O.'s. But she can't stop riding. It's in her blood. And she swears by the exercises and what they've “done” for her. Empirically, it seems plausible, but I don't know.
Me? I've had three that I know of. Two playing football (blindsided by a guy with 50 lbs. on me, and the other taking an up-swinging knee to the jaw while waist-tackling a monster), and one playing baseball—I hit a pipe in a chain-link outfield fence while making a catch. The blindside tackle was the bad one.
All I remember is the sound of autumn leaves falling, and the thunderous footsteps of the tackler bearing down on me. Then the view of the trees above as they turned me over to look up. Everything picks up from the next day. Can't even remember getting home that day. He hit me in my lower back, whipping my upper body to the hard ground at Prospect Park. My last game—ever. Thanksgiving weekend, 1994.
Concussions are NOT to be fucked with. And if you're gonna be involved in contact sports, you'd better do whatever you can to lessen their occurrence. Seriously.
Good thread, Jesse.
I coached and reffed kids soccer in the Santa Cruz, Calif. area for years. When youth soccer out there started up, I had been "waiting" on it, and I was gratified to see that the leagues were VERY concerned that they not create a petrie dish for more of the Little League Baseball syndrome. They were heavily into "crowd control". :o)
If a parent started screaming at the ref, or at opposing players, or even their OWN kids, there were league reps who would talk to them and remind them that it wasn't Holland V. Agentina.
If they continued, they could be banished from the next game, on pain of having their kid suspended. It was harsh, and it was only implemented once that I remember, but it was the right thing. If the person unloading his life frustrations on a soccer match, was unconnected with the league, we were ready and willing to call the cops, very quickly.
The coaches of course, were easier to handle, and when a couple of them revealed themselves (both men, of course) to be ego-driven tyrants, they were canned.
I remember very few of the serious injuries you talk about. Never heard of someone getting a concussion.
In 10 years of it, I saw one broken leg, from a women's league game.
I myself played on men's club teams during that period, and reffed some men's games, too. But there the problem of game behaviour was built-in; the men (and to a lesser extent, the high school boys whom I also reffed) sometimes played as if the losing team was going to be neutered. I was reffing in the Peninsula League, in San Jose, and there were games where I left my car in mall parking lots a third of a mile from the field, in case I gave a late penalty in a Mexican V. Iranian match.
I don't mean to pick on them but true is true, and it's true that the ethnic teams were nearly always the hottest of the hotheads.
I got out of men's soccer and joined a co-ed team, which was an improvement.
And that was when I started coaching women, and then U19 girls. It kept me in the game. The women were fairer: MUCH less given to idiot aggression, and MUCH more willing to play together and support each other, than were the men. I made some lifelong friends. Good stuff.
I'm sorry that Avain and you had those experiences. I don't know the period of it; maybe the women's game is going the way of the men. I hope not, but I've been out of it for years.
The problem particularly rears it's head with the "select" teams, when the egos kick in, big time.
30 years ago, there were Bay Area u19 select teams going to tournaments in Canada and across the U.S. I went to a few select tournaments in well-to-do Silicon Valley, where the girls would come out wearing their $150 dollar Addidas warm-ups with the club flags flying like it was a jousting tournament.
The coaches were compulsive recruiters, raiding each others sides for the best players. It was:
"Hey sweetheart, we're going to Mexico and Canada this season; come play with us." Coaches would sometimes send other parents to drive 60 miles, both ways, to pick up hot mid-fielders to help them their season championships.
There were lawsuits, and finally CYSA, the California Youth Soccer Association, had to make a rule that forced players to stay within their own geographic region.
I guess it's human nature, but if I'd had a daughter who was really good, I'd have kept her on her house team, with the friends she started with, as long as I could.
But MOM power is a ferocious thing, and I'm glad to see it flexing it's muscles, and not just at youth soccer. :o)
See this is why i play wit hswords, very little concusion risk. besides our injuries leave scars that impress teh ladies.( words of advice if one playes with swords, wear FIE gear, espicaly if your opponent uses cheap chinese sabers, standing in the van on the way to the emergancy room is no fun, stiches across ones back side is less fun. Also allways wear your duling glove when useing schlagers...espicaly if you have one of them fancy open gaurds...the schlager beign blunt will hurt that mch more when it gose through your hand.)
Just a note:
This is perhaps the easiest article I've ever written. It simply flowed out. Almost no rewriting.
I wasn't trying to make a statement about me being a good dad. And I hate saying what an article is about: it needs to speak for itself or I think I've failed.
But just in case it isn't totally clear, this article is intended as a a warning about what it takes to keep daughters (and sons, but they tend to be watched more carefully by everyone) safe in sports today. The entire system is stacked against them. You may well be the only person who can or will stand up and say, "NO."
You need to.
A lot of doctors still dont understand the problems concussions can cause. A couple of years ago I saw a lot of doctors because of anxiety and depression. When I suggested that my multiple concussions might have something to do with it (including being kicked in the head by two horses, and many others) they didnt just say no, they looked at me like I was completely retarded for even bringing it up. Its too late for me, but not too late for all the kids out there.
I remember when I was a kid, there was a girl who had died after she had fallen in a game. She had the wind knocked out of her but she woke up and seemed fine. She went home and overnight she had passed away. She was 10.
Whatever else you may or may not be Jesse - you're a good dad.
Jesse,
This post read in combination with LM's on "plus" size clothing (used to be one of those myself) made me cry. We live in a society which dictates to women "who they are." This is an effing existential crisis for half of the population. You did a great job as a dad, but Avian bought it, too. Soccer, sales, law, medicine, all are things you "do" and they are different than who you are. Avian is beginning to figure that out now. A lot of women never do. So do a lot of men, but that's my ex-husband rant and I'll save that for my own blog.
Hi, my name is Hannah Stohler, and I'm the 16 year old soccer player from the New York Times article. All of your comments are completely valid... more than valid, trust me I've heard it a million time from my own mother. I had pretty awful post- concussion syndrome, and struggled with reading for about six months. I told all of this to Alan Schwarz, the article's author, and all of what he wrote was true. But, I've read on many blogs what the response is to the article (pretty unhealthy, but I can't help it), and the main comment I get is " How can she think concussions are just a boy thing?" (which is paraphrased, I obviously know I have a brain...)What Alan Schwarz failed to include in his article was the countless months I spent improving my balance and agility with a concussion-specialized soccer trainer, and underwent several IMPACT tests to make sure my brain was back up to speed before I participated in sports again, so although I am probably more concussion prone than the person sitting next to me, I rid myself of the chance of my head hitting the ground or another person by my fault. In my standard, the only way I was going to get a concussion was being blindsided, which is a risk that everyone must take when they are playing sports. I felt that Schwarz put his depressing spin on my story, which is his decision and I respect, but people must know that there is light at the end of this tunnel! I successfully completed a spring and fall season since the last concussion, without any mishaps, and had a great season.
Another facet to my story that was not included was the reason my worst concussion, (unconscious for a minute and a half and blinded for an hour, with three months of post concussive syndrom) happened... false instruction from my doctor. My pediatric neurologist told me I did not need to see a specialist, and that I could return to play after a week of no symptoms. The first day back I shook my body to the core. I found an excellent specialist, Kelsey Logan of Elite Sports Medicine, who put me on the right track... and although around 5 months out of even running did not appeal to an athlete then, she knew what was right for me, and shared my goal of getting me back to sports as soon as my body was ready and capable.
I know soccer is not a profession, and I may have to deal with the long term effects of my past, but it is honestly my passion right now, and its hard to not have tunnel vision with my eyes set on it as a sixteen year old girl.
I apologize for using this blog as a forum, but I think that people need to know the truth to my story, that their health is very important, but not to live in the dark and be afraid to go back to sports for the rest of your life. Hopefully others will not have to experience this, but when your at your lowest in this situation just remember that it WILL get better.
Hi, my name is Hannah Stohler, and I'm the 16 year old soccer player from the New York Times article. All of your comments are completely valid... more than valid, trust me I've heard it a million time from my own mother. I had pretty awful post- concussion syndrome, and struggled with reading for about six months. I told all of this to Alan Schwarz, the article's author, and all of what he wrote was true. But, I've read on many blogs what the response is to the article (pretty unhealthy, but I can't help it), and the main comment I get is " How can she think concussions are just a boy thing?" (which is paraphrased, I obviously know I have a brain...)What Alan Schwarz failed to include in his article was the countless months I spent improving my balance and agility with a concussion-specialized soccer trainer, and underwent several IMPACT tests to make sure my brain was back up to speed before I participated in sports again, so although I am probably more concussion prone than the person sitting next to me, I rid myself of the chance of my head hitting the ground or another person by my fault. In my standard, the only way I was going to get a concussion was being blindsided, which is a risk that everyone must take when they are playing sports. I felt that Schwarz put his depressing spin on my story, which is his decision and I respect, but people must know that there is light at the end of this tunnel! I successfully completed a spring and fall season since the last concussion, without any mishaps, and had a great season.
Another facet to my story that was not included was the reason my worst concussion, (unconscious for a minute and a half and blinded for an hour, with three months of post concussive syndrom) happened... false instruction from my doctor. My pediatric neurologist told me I did not need to see a specialist, and that I could return to play after a week of no symptoms. The first day back I shook my body to the core. I found an excellent specialist, Kelsey Logan of Elite Sports Medicine, who put me on the right track... and although around 5 months out of even running did not appeal to an athlete then, she knew what was right for me, and shared my goal of getting me back to sports as soon as my body was ready and capable.
I know soccer is not a profession, and I may have to deal with the long term effects of my past, but it is honestly my passion right now, and its hard to not have tunnel vision with my eyes set on it as a sixteen year old girl.
I apologize for using this blog as a forum, but I think that people need to know the truth to my story, that their health is very important, but not to live in the dark and be afraid to go back to sports for the rest of your life. Hopefully others will not have to experience this, but when your at your lowest in this situation just remember that it WILL get better.
Hannah Stohler
*smiles*
Hannah --
Wonderful to hear what you have to say. Thank you for filling us in.
Please feel free to update us how you're doing at any time including on what has happened since.
We'd love to hear from you.
Best regards,
Commenting by HaloScan
