Jen: The food post sounds absolutely scrumptious.
And I send all the healing vibes I can from Toronto. Sounds scary as shit - and it sucks that you're being held hostage by your work's medical insurance.
The Canuck system is far from perfect, but having medical coverage - no questions asked - when I was unemployed is something that gets taken for granted up here.
Good luck!
Jen, I went through exactly what you describe and the obgyn had to do a biopsy and get some cells from inside the uterus in order to get some idea of what was happening. If your obgyn isn't brain-dead, he/she should be able to do this to get a diagnosis. DO NOT let up on them... I know that sounds vacuous too...
TONGUE! You got tongue! I love tongue...
er. ahem. Jellied, for preference. I need to go get some.
Sorry to hear about your ongoing health problems. Perpetual exhaustion sucks moldy lemons.
If you can swing it at all, maybe look at getting a housecleaner in, even if on a one-time basis. It does wonders for the mood when you are scaping along the bottom. And will help you focus on sinking your teeth into the health system like a pit-bull and not stopping shaking it until it deals with you.
Jen, My intention is not to scare you but to motivate you to make a change. My wife Diane went through this two years ago. In her case it started with ever longer periods over a couple of years until basically it never stopped, and one time she damned near died from blood loss (this was before we started living together). I urge you to get a better doctor. In her case it turned out that her uterus, tubes etc had turned pre-cancerous and basically solidified with fibrous growths. It required a full hysterectomy to get her better. This probably is not what is going on with you but you need to eliminate it - get a better ob/gyn, you deserve it.
Aw, Jen, been there, done ALL of that. First, if you get the biopsy described by dejah thoris, make sure they anesthetize you - even a twilight sleep type will help. They need to dialate your uterus to take the swab and it is quite painful (my forever ob/gyn almost fainted when I told him someome did this to me without anesthesia once).
First, you won't actually exsanguinate this way, though it sure feels like it. You will, however, make yourself extremely anemic, so make sure you are pushing the iron supplements. I will tell you that you CAN lose enough blood this way to make running an IV very difficult (took over 20 needle sticks for me, and finally an enormous and terribly competent black nurse shoved all of the docs aside and ran one before they blew all of my veins out and had to run a central line). Take your iron.
It is very likely that these are just fibroids and perhaps some endometriosis. I say "just" because that isn't cancer. It is not so much the type or the size of the fibroid that dictates the severity of the symptoms; it is the location. A gigantic fibroid can do nothing; a teeny one, in the right place, can just flatten you. Having been through all of this, I would suggest getting fairly agressive quickly, rather than fiddle fucking around with various treatments. They need to come OUT, which can usually be done via laparoscopy nowadays. The procedure was in its infancy when I had my problems, plus my fibroid were enormous, so I wound up having a myomectomy to remove them, which is pretty much a C-section. In fact, I had two, after which I demanded the uterus go away permanently.
I can tell you that once you get this taken care of, you will feel so good you just won't believe it. I felt like I needed to be anchored to a concrete block because I was just gonna float away on a cloud of feelgood! That is why I say get agressive and don't fool around with palliatives - the only regret I have about my hysterectomy is that it took me so long to get one. I think of the years I f-ed up with this nonsense and it really pisses me off. I know you don't want a hysterectomy, but getting this gunk out of you will make you feel 100% better...
Tongue. May I just say GAAAAAACK! The texture - oh my GAWD, I can't even type this, so revulsed by tongue am I (cow tongue you fools). Funny story: Many years ago when I was very little - 8 or 9 - we visited my uncle in Washington and he was going through a 'tongue' phase. Gave my dad a piece of it and it icked him out so bad that he had to tuck it in his cheek like a wad of chaw until he could reasonably get to the bathroom to spit it in the toilet (without looking all non-macho, dontcha know). I'll knock you silly for your greengage plums but the tongue is ALL YOURS.
smoked tongue is one of the finer things in a well rounded life.
All,
Thank you for the good vibes. I actually found (due to teh powrz of teh Intertubes) a recommendation for an allegedly good obgyn practice nearish to my office that specializes in nonsurgical/noninvasive treatments for fibroids and bleeding. Going in for a consultation in the AM and that pelvic ultrasound in the PM since I'll need it anyway.
Wish me luck!
And yeah i am STILL bleeding. Taking my iron though.
Punkster,
I feel for you and very much appreciate your advice--let's see what my ultrasound says (ie if the little fuckers haven't grown since last time, I may just need my lining zapped/scraped/nuked. We'll see.
Plus for this new place already: They have Ultrasound and whatnot on premesis. I am still doing my 3rd party one tomorrow PM and will have results sent to them.
I'll keep you all posted!
The wonderful CSA posts are very inspiring. And the fact that your job is not so wonderful, but you DO have health insurance, well, that counts for a great deal. I'm still paying a loan I took out 9 years ago for a catastrophic illness I had to deal with for years. I'm very self employed, no insurance, still don't have it, can't afford it.
Put me in the plus column for the Tongue, GLORIOUS Tongue. I thought that was one in photo and sure enough. I was raised by the Lithuanian method and ate plenty of tongue when very young and still eat it now as the ultimate comfort food. You can skin it when it is cold incidentally, and better to cook it with the skin on, keeps the flavor in. For myself, it must be eaten with very spicy mustard.
Served hot or chilled.
Indeed, since 1970, it is the only beef or pork product I care to eat. I just don't like trying to digest beef or pork. Tongue, however, is in a category by itself. BTW, it can be pressure cooked more quickly, but I use the long boil method.
I look forward to hearing progress on the job and health fronts, good luck with all of your steps to the future.
I love the CSA posts.
Jen,
The second diagnostic procedure they did on me was a d&c, which is done under anesthesia... it gave them a baseline on the cells of interest; when the second biopsy was done two months later, the cells had changed enough that they said, "we're going in..." had fibroids, cysts, and pinpoint cancers.
THe point is, if you catch this early enough, it's fixable. Yes, hystie is not what you might have had in mind, but after getting two opinions and a LOT of good advice from two other docs, that's what I had done.
if that is what it turns out you need, please start reading as much as you can -- I highly recommend hystersisters.com -- there are a ton of really good areas to read there, and they cover all the invasive/noninvasive options... it is well worth your time, even if you end up not having a hyst.
good luck and keep pushing the system! we're with ya...
dt
Best of luck with all of this, Jen. Mrs. Watson is going through a milder version, so I've got a sense of the discomfort and anxiety.
Meanwhile, thanks for the foodie journal. We had tongue occasionally when I was a kid, done in a pressure cooker. I never got over how radical it looked on the platter, it seemed like a caricature to me.
jen, another good fixer for that caramel taste and color is kitchen bouquet. it's less pronouced sweetness than blackstrap and is something i have used in the wok to good effect many times.
that eggplant looks scrumptious.
good luck with the doctor stuff. i tell folks that getting older really doesn't bug me in the slightest. the falling apart gets next to me. right up next to me.
Jen-
Thanks for your latest Food Porn installment (the veggies/fruits, anyway...) 
Good luck with the gyn situation. As mentioned upthread, could be fibroids/cysts, could be something more serious (G-d forbid).
Or, it could even be a sign of perimenopause?
Oh, and I had a similar biopsy done this past spring - w/o anesthesia; good times... :-p
Thor: And can you believe that my boss--a Brit no less--decries "free" healthcare as low-quality and discriminatory (because in some countries, the gubmint decides which drugs can be on the treatment schedule). This is from a rich guy in good health.
Must...not...choke...him....
Jen: While I've not experienced your situation, I've certainly been in despair about the unbearable heaviness of shit (crappy jobs, medical issues, and feeling that nothing will ever change or get better). I'm sure 98% of the reason you feel that way is your exhaustion and whatever imbalance is causing the bleeding. So my recommendation is that you focus on the action plans you've put in place and allow yourself to just rest as much as you need to, breathe deeply, and take one step at a time. And if you need a pedicure, manicure, special coffee or chocolate or blanket or book to feel better, focus on getting that for yourself. You've been through so much this past year with other health issues, your landlord, your job, Steve's death - my gosh, Girl! Maybe part of this has to do with your body, mind and spirit just wanting you to rest and relax without feeling guilty. I'm sending you good mojo. Take care of yourself.
Jen: I definitely understand where you're coming from w/the female troubles--been there, done that, wore out the damn t-shirt. Thank GOD I qualified as poor enough while I was temping for Mass General's in-house Blue Care (I don't know how it works now, but I'm SO thankful I had it then), although when you're temping you run into the whole "I don't want to take time off because it means making less money" deal...but enough of that.
The biopsy Punkster & the others are talking about sounds like an endometrial biopsy, and yes, I've had SEVERAL with no drugs stronger than ibuprofen (and yes, I did damn near pass out from the pain a couple of times), so make them give you good drugs, damn it. Something you might have that I've dealt w/is endometrial hyperplasia--basically, your uterine lining, or endometrium, is running amok and growing all over the damn place, with various patches cycling at various times (hence the constant bleeding). It's something they like to be careful about, as there does seem to be a strong correlation between this and eventually developing cancer, but it's not a sure thing, so don't panic--as long as you're getting regular Pap smears, you should be OK.
As for iron deficiency, been there & done that too--if you don't think your prescribed iron is doing the trick, try getting Floradix from your local natural health store, as it seems to be absorbed and put to good use more quickly due to being a liquid.
You may well end up getting a D&C if you have hyperplasia or something like that, or treatment for fibroids, which hopefully won't involved a hysterectomy. FWIW, though, I have several friends who had horrific female troubles who ended up getting hysterectomies and were deliriously happy with the results--granted, they'd either had all the kids they wanted or didn't want any at all, but it may be a better option than bleeding out constantly.
One more thing: last year, my GYN suggested I get a Mirena IUD, with the idea that it could serve as both reliable contraception and a way to regulate my periods, or at least make them lighter. It's a modern IUD that releases a very low dose of hormones (much lower than anything you'd take orally), and so far I've been pretty happy with it. My cycles are still kinda wonky (then again, at 47 perimenopause is definitely a possibility...), but I've been bleeding MUCH less than I was before. I was rather hesitant at first, due to all the Dalkon Shield horror stories I heard in the '70s as a teenager, but so far, so good--you could do worse than ask the doc if s/he thinks it might help.
(And why the hell do you need to guzzle the water for a trans-vaginal ultrasound, anyway? For the on-top-of-the-tummy kind, yes; but at Mass General they let you pee before they start jacking you around with the giant condom-covered joystick, so what gives in NYC? Just my $.02 worth...)
Take care, and hang in there! (Oh, and you can have ALLLLLL the tongue you want, although I'd be more than happy to have a pastrami & chopped liver sandwich on seedless rye w/a black cherry soda with you some time...)
Jen:
Has anyone mentioned adenomyosis? Your symptoms sound like that might be what you have.
email me if you want my personal experience with this: mayelinden at yahoo dot com.
Wishes for a speedy and complete recovery.
All--just got back from a consultation with the lady who will be my new ob-gyn. Listened to me, took a complete history. Good office staff. Intake questionnaire actually asked about *gasp* sexual orientation, any history of past abuse, and sexual difficulties/issues.
Next steps: Ultrasound tonight, and getting the stupid lab to send my results to my new doc. Then once she reads them, next steps are probably a D&C with a uterine scope/lookaround for a biopsy. Need bloodwork before that.
Then, if the D&C doesn't do the trick and/or if it looks like any one fibroid is the culprit, I get that shaved down and get a thermal ablasion of the uterine lining, which in some women (1/3 apparently) causes a complete cessation of menstruation, which would actually be fantastic AFAIC. Once we get all that other shit squared away, I can finally talk to her about a tubal, but first things first. After all, as they say, man plans, G-d laughs.
In the meantime I need to pretend to work for a few more hours. Dead DEAD tired. Then I cab it up to the ass end of town for a vigorous joystick buggering by a large Russian woman in her 50's. Good times all around.
More later as it develops!
Oh yeah and I lost more weight, in a GOOD way. I'm only 10 lbs. away from where I was before I started going to the gym 6 years ago (and I haven't gone in about a year). Off slowly, slowly is the way to keep it off....
Many conditions can cause this sort of bleeding--some are serious, some not so much. I now two women who had such bleeding. In both cases, they just had cysts.
One of my sisters had such bleeding, and in her case, going on the Pill sufficed to give her normal periods.
Good luck to you, Jen. I will keep my fingers crossed that this will turn out to be a relatively minor and easy to fix glitch.
Meanwhile, keep taking the iron supplements!
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