Good, really good column, LM.
And, aren't you glad you don't have to use asterisks for your "swears"?
Daym.....That was one good rant.
BTW, have you heard the skinny on Fred Thompson?
He leaked inside info from the Watergate committee to the Nixon White House.
McCain is old and sick. Guiliani is, whatever the fuck he is. Romney is clearly a snake who tortures dogs.
Maybe my prediction of Brownback being the Republithug nod will come true.
Most informative post...written in the spirit of the late Steve Guillard. I hope this blog will keep Rudy in its sights over the coming months.
teh combover
You forgot Judith Regan. Judith Regan got kicked to the kerb, and she's Pissed.
also Mohammed Ali was a _lot_prettier.
Just saying.
Steve is smiling somewhere in heaven!
"also Mohammed Ali was a _lot_prettier."
But Rudy is still "so bad, he makes medicine sick". 
julia:
You know...I seriously considered Regan for the list, but part of me said she's such "damaged goods" and straight-up batshit, that it could be a wash.
But your comment got me to thinking again...
She's so slimy, so venal, and plugged into so much that is slimy and venal, that she could have at her fingertips/rolodex some really damaging stuff on him. Who knows what crazy shit Bernie could have blurted out while getting...um...you know...
Bleah. You get the picture. Or hey, he could have said something post-coitally. While, you know... padding around their cozy, little 9-11 fuck pad, in his black International Male banana hammock and...
Oh God. 
My. God.
Great fucking post, LM. I knew (from my vantage point down here in the Armpit of the World) that Rudy was a slimeball, but you providing a catalogue raisonne of his doings was priceless material for me to use on the Rudiphiles here.
Wanderer;
Make sure to tell those "Rudyphiles" about the specially constructed basement office that connected Rudy's inner sanctum to Lategano's lair, via a sneaky inner door.
You think Villaraigosa's recent shit in L.A. is shady? Yeesh!
But...you didn't hear it from me.
LM and all,
I can't think of a better memorial to Steve than this.
Thank you!
DaveH
ps My best to Jen.
Wooo Baby...LM...you are ON FIRE man!! That was something, and am I glad you are on and are giving us your channeling of Steve....if that was what this might have been. I know you can really write, but this was something else....maybe Steve was looking over your shoulder. I would like to forward this to some of my non computer friends, would you mind if I printed it out to send to my 80 year old WWII vet friend? I send him things like this and he passes them around to his other vet buddies who live at the King Veteran's home in Wisconsin with him. They all, to a man, hate monkey boy and what he's done to us and they love to read some rants.
Hee hee hee. Steve woulda loved this, LM. Hell, Steve woulda written it. Beautiful job. Flay flay away.
Dude -- vicious and brilliant and ruthless and righteous. This is a column for the ages - seriously. I intend to reference this for the next two years every time Rudy's sorry ass pops up. You make me proud to be a New Yorker, even a sorr-ass ex-pat.
Stick a plunger in him.
Excellent post.
Reminds me of a recent Wonkette item:
Giuliani to Tackle Spending, Sodomize it With a Billy Club
Wow, LHH! Get an account at Kos too, so it can go viral. From Steve, I knew that Rudy was a slimeball, but never this bad.
Steve would be so proud.
Great post, thanks.
And f the f'ing yankees.
You are such a gentleman and all,LM, getting that fairness and balancingness into the first few paragraphs the way it's done these days.
Despite the Rudy Rudeness overload here, I think that you are just warming up on the topic, yeah, this felt like you were just getting ready to get in the batter's box, and this was the blog equivalent of a very long set of practice swings with the donut weight on the bat, but it wasn't even near to hitting it out of the park.
I bet that before long we'll be seeing another, maybe shorter, but much more vicious Rudification from LM.
But remember, Sire, be sure to say something nice in the beginning of the new one--maybe a comment on how First Lady looking the latest moll is. Keep those Rudy Rippings fair and balanced.
Don't be one of those terribly obscene and catty bloggers we hear so much about these days.
And, are you taking requests? Would you do Romney next? Please?
Once again, LM: I LOVE YOU.
Reading this felt awfully, awfully good. And yes, you made Steve a happy man with this.
That was Beautiful.
Boy, Rudy has more nasty-ass skeletons in his closet than I thought.
[A]ccording to Kerik ’s former girlfriend, the book publisher Judith Regan, this friendship could come back to haunt Giuliani’s campaign. She told one of my tnr colleagues that Kerik and Giuliani would frequently discuss “sketchy” activities in her presence “as if I weren’t there.” Regan told my colleague that she would reveal the contents of the conversations in the event that Giuliani’s presidential campaign took off. (Of course, Regan has her own scandal-ridden past. But she also has enough p.r. acumen and notoriety to win an
I've always suspected that most of the scorpion tail action of karma operates by letting you live smack in the center of the life you've built for yourself.
Yes, LM, I can tell; WE can tell, that that has been...stored...for a while.
:o)
An EXCELLENT job of closet-rummaging.
:o)
The republican preznintial campaign is like a self-defeating test:
Anyone stupid enough to WANT the republican nomination has NO business sitting in the oval office. Their support for the La Brea bloodpit has cankered whatever tiny vestige of humanity they have left.
It's so neat to have fucksticks like Rudy and Tony Snow, etc., staying the course with the GOP's 10 year old catch-all defense:
"We lied the rube-ass american people into this Boschian shitmire?
Bill Clinton's dick!"
3500 of our troops dead, and a half-million odd Iraqis who had jackshit to do with 9-11?
Bill Clinton's dick!"
"Half a trillion dollars, and counting?
Bill Clinton's dick....
Clinton's dick!Clinton's dick!Clinton's dick!"
Now, as you so mercilessly point out, with a little help from Donna and her friends;
we get to shout "Rudy's dick!"...loud and clear. :o) :o) :o)
SSSHHHH!!!
Isn't all this EXACTLY the reason we want Guiliani to get the Republican nomination?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Rudy try to "delay" his departure from City Hall in order to continue to serve as mayor despite the election results? Why can I see Rudy pulling someting like this on a national scale?
and bless him, Freddie Ferrer stopped him in his tracks.
Goodness, New York owes a lot to Mark Green.
LM, when will you tell us what you really think? Heh.
his black International Male banana hammock
ok... well... that image... thats going to never come out.
Posts like this is why I love this community. Death by a thousand cuts indeed LM! Bleed Rude-E, BLEED.
...and the quarterback is toast!!!!!
As much as I'm slathering for the juicy mud-slinging blood bath from all the Rudy haters, I think the most effective nails in the coffin will be his spawn. Kinda hard to come off as a hero when your own children can't stand your guts.
And the kids, so far, appear to be without tabloid issues. I saw a recent picture of them with Hanover at the daughter's graduation. They did not seem amused by Giuliani and Nathan's presence. That ain't gonna play in the heartland. And Bill Clinton's dick ain't gonna turn people's attention.
BTW, great post!
God, I miss Steve, and I've missed one of the best comment boards on the Tubes since he left us. Thanks LM, HS, Doc Wendell and Sara for getting GNB up and keeping it all alive. My best thoughts and love to Jen.
Oh, and fuck fucking Rudolph William Louis "Rudy" Giuliani III, and everyone, and everyTHING, that smells like him.
LM, This is why I come here. I want the cold, unvarnished truth. Fuck Rudy. As a former New Yorker, I know the evil that Rudy is capable of. For those of you who are concerned about warrantless wiretaps, national security letters, extraordinary renditions, brutal Abu Ghraib MPs, etc, strap on your seatbelts because you're in for a wild ride under a Giuliani administration. He'll be worse that Bush (though you don't think that's possible.)
Virtuosity, LM. Steve would be delighted.
And dont forget Rudies eagerness to privatize NYCs reservoirs, hospitals, and mayoral records.
I hope Hanover et al get busy retailing the dirt, because as of now, I see Rudie as GWBs likeliest successor, emerging from a terrorist emergency/cancelled election scenario.
And dont forget Rudies eagerness to privatize NYCs reservoirs, hospitals, and mayoral records.
and remember how he was ready to turn the Bronx into a sewage treatment plant because if he decided to run for governor he was more likely to get votes in the Hudson Valley.
Great way to remember Steve.
A beautiful post about one of the most ugliest men.
When I think of that adulterer, I mean Rudy, I am reminded of Judy in her heavy eye makeup a la Way Bandy of the '80s, strapless wedding dress and tiara sitting on those imaginary Presidential cabinet meetings as his closest "advisor", as she has suggested would happen. I do think women of a certain age should refrain from indulging in all varieties of princess pony fantasies. Not all of us enjoy being ruled by the cult of Rudy.
LM do you remember the day after Giuliani won? I do. I still remember being on the subway platform and the deadly quiet. It was if someone had passed away.
LM,
I hope you can work your schedule to be able to post on a regular basis, without taking a hit to the wallet.
This was a thing of beauty. I am not of the city, I hail from the dairy country way upstate. I got to know a few folks from the city going through SUNY, and have fond memories.
Out here in Lotusland, when people find out where I'm from, the first thing they want to know about is Noo Yawk(Right after they note that "You don't talk funny").
I sum it up for them in these terms:
You will never have a better friend or a worse enemy.
I think our boy Rudy is about to get a lesson for the ages. I'm stocking up on popcorn.
Rosali:
If you grew up there, you are never a former New Yorker. You're just living somewhere else.
Selah.
I've heard speculation that Rudy may well have full-blown Narcisstic Personality Disorder. Reading this post makes me almost sure of that now. Remember during the whole Michael Richards thing when we were talking about Richards's possible NPD? It would be grimly funny if all this shit started coming out about Rudy, and during some random press conference when a reporter who is, let's say, openly gay, is grilling him about the latest skunk-stinky revelations, he flips out Richards-style, points at the reporter, and starts screaming, "HE'S A FAG, HE'S A FAG, HE'S A FA-A-A-AG!!" (Complete with the half-assed stammering apology a few days later during an appearance on David Letterman's Show, of course.)
I've always suspected that most of the scorpion tail action of karma operates by letting you live smack in the center of the life you've built for yourself.
So true, so true.
"Shivs to the left of me/Shanks to the right/Here I am stuck in the middle with you" 
Gary, you're right. I was born and raised in NYC and there's always the possibility of moving back.
Julia, that combover pic is hilarious. Who the fuck did he think he was fooling with that thing?
Great to see that Steve's regulars are gonna keep it all going strong. I just bookmarked you.
I have a design suggestion though. There's a reason that print media almost always employs upper and lower case in their body copy: all caps is just too damn difficult to read. Making the all-caps body copy grey, as opposed to black, puts an added strain on readability.
Which is a shame, when we're talking about writing as good as this.
Glad to see the site up and running.
Looks good.
You're all commies.
thanks ether!
JohnS, what all-caps are you talking about? unless you mean the section headers?
Just keep doing what you're doing, LM. In the grand scheme of things it's good for the country, and on a personal level it cracks me the fuck up.
A thing of beauty, LM.
A joy to watch you work.
Outstanding as always. The man's deader than last week's digested chicken.
Great job, LM. As Richard's wino says,"You got potential! I enjoy reading you.
With McCain looking like a week-old road-kill possum in the July heat, and as his funds start drying up, I'm wondering if the repubs shouldn't just tank this election.
The only people who are even halfway fired up about any of their chances, are the base-turds, desperately hoping to find SOMEONE to save them from having to eat 3500 dead troops; all those dead Iraqis; those missing pallets-full of those bricks of our hundred-dollar bills; and 5 years of outrageous, bloody, bullshit.
And counting.
(No angryface red enough or big enough, here.)
First prize:
You get to be one of the "frontrunners"
for the GOP nomination.
Second prize:
You WIN the GOP nomination for preznit!
:o)
Beautiful, LM.
I so want the nuclear-grade smackdown to occur in October 2008. Someone could get me that for an early Christmas present. It fits fabulously and goes with all my shoes and handbags...
Dayum!
Tell me what you really think, LM!
I was in upstate New York when 9/11 happened, after watching and reading almost daily how people couldn't wait to get rid of Rudy and that other clown, the former gov with the higher office itch, George Pataki.
These guys were through...until 9/11.
Suddenly these jerks, who couldn't get the time of day from New Yorkers, were nationally telegenic.
It's taken a long time for that thin patina of hero worship to wear off. Pataki got six more years; Guiliani threatened to stay in office to oversee "his" city, but Bloomberg's legit election warned him off.
Giuliani also hates black people. His base also includes lovers of Old Dixie. With the current Supremes and their attitudes nowadays, it wouldn't pay to see him sit in the Oval Office. He would be Woodrow Wilson all over again...but far worse.
Thanks for that trip down memory lane, LM. Keep on with the writing...
Fantastic post. This is the kind of thing I read Gilliard for, and I mean that as a compliment to you and him.
I cannot wait for this little sociopath to get his...
Ooooh! Baby, I poured myself a nice cuppa tea and sat back and savored every word of this post. God I hope Rudy is the one. I think we should do everything possible to make it happen. Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!
LM, you are loaded for bear. And I don't want you to miss a shot. And wait till they find out who is hiding in the dungeon!
"You're all commies.
ether | 07.06.07 - 5:16 am |"
You just made me think of Sam the Eagle from the Muppet Show.
Wow,
LM, You hit that one out of the park. A post the "Big Guy" would have been proud
to have written. Greetings to all.
I was in college in early 2001 taking a class called Work and Welfare. (Why yes, it was a liberal arts college). One of the films we watched was about NYC's illustrious mayor and it was fairly blunt about how he loathed minorities and they loathed him right back. I believe the film centered on parks workers and how they were mistreated by the city.
I've always been a bit perplexed by how popular he bacame after 9/11, but the media sucks ass so much that I just chalk it up to circle jerks.
Brillant rant. Just Brilliant. Keep up the good work.
(This is one NYer who often puts herself into overheard conversations to talk about the real RG and to enlighten others about who really began either bringing down crime or re-developing Times Square, etc., when she hears people praising RG to high heaven. )
ether! oh boy! Let the smackin' begin
LM... you rock!
Just great, LM. Steve would be so proud. And as a Manhattanite myself, I'm really, really looking forward to Rudy's run--and all the folks who'll pile on his ass.
"Boy, Rudy has more nasty-ass skeletons in his closet than I thought."
And this is just the shit we know about. God knows how much more there is, waiting to spill out.
Ghouliani truly is a nasty piece of work, no? He's even worse than Bush in some ways, as incredible as that seems.
Ether! Glad you found us.
Steve took the pinata with him.
Welcome back... :o)
How's things in 27 percentland? :o)
Great post, lm
Just wondering if Giuliani's involment (as US Attorney in New York) with the Mark Rich indictment made him another set of enemies ( Rich's lawyer - the Scooter Libby crowd)
Will the 15 minute playtime yelling "But Clinton did toooo" re Bush's pardon's outweigh Giuliani's
oppostion to a plea?
Of all the things I want to see come down between now and the next election, the impending Fall Of The Rudy Empire is number one/uno/ichiban on my hit parade. LoLo, I've been telling my out-of-town Screwliani worshipping friends (and some of the brain dead "City" residents hereabouts) about a lot of this asswipes dirty laundry for the past two years. You just gave me mucho additional ammo with which to blast the tops off of their fucktard noggins the next time one of them spews some "Rudy for Prez" bullshit, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now, gotta go to Costco and get that 1&1/2 year supply of Orville Redenbacher in-house. The primaries and "Election 2008" can't get here fast enough for me!!!
Thanks, LM:
Great piece. You gave it to the bastard but good. I'm so proud of all of you for keeping Steve's spirit alive.
LM, great post! I miss Steve every day, but you're shit is approaching his energy, savvy and chutzpah. Keep it going, bro! As an upper-queensite (as of 9/11, now I'm a slopey-brooklynite) I must say your evisceration of the 9/10 Rooody is spot-on. His was and is a shallow authoritarian prick, I DARE him to run for president. Ask Hillary how much of an opponent he is when his chips are down. Prediction: he's already had prostate issues, next it'll be something else that has no visible efects but will let him bow the fuck out before he gets humiliated (by the legions you mention). Couldn't happen to a more worthy asshole!
Rudy won't be the nominee. The goons that are running the Republican Party know two things about him - he will insist on being the boss, and he's not stupid. Sure, he's a goon himself, but he's not their goon, and they won't be able to control him. They'd much prefer an empty idiot like Mittster or Freddie. So, expect more leakage, dirt, and election fixing to ensure that the dangerous-to-them Rudy isn't allowed anywhere near national power.
Saw Rudy on C-SPAN speaking to a B'Nai Brith(sp?) org and virtually promise to fellate Israel in Macy's window. Thought he was gonna convert on the spot.
~
A fair and clever synopsis of the political career of a lisping, saliva-spraying vampire whose rapid demise by recurring, virulent, metastatic, prostate cancer I could not possibly desire more.
If he should win, expect the following: broad expansion of the doctrine of "the Unitary Executive" and the use of the signing statement; repetition and expansion of Cheney operational techniques; a 100% Caucasian cabinet; increased funneling of the national treasury into private security operations; banishment from the White House press corps from anyone not with Fox News; radical expansion of the use of torture and extraordinary rendition; establishment of a national ID system and electronic database; exponentially increased illegal wiretapping; death penalty for parking violations. I'm just getting started; imagine how much more cruel he could become, dying before our eyes as the returning cancer eats away his flesh like a Nazi who has just opened the ark.
At this point, he has more money than any other Republican. I only hope you are right that his past, his boundless ego and depthless cruelty will combine to defeat him.
Saw Rudy on C-SPAN speaking to a B'Nai Brith org and virtually promise to fellate Israel in Macy's window. Thought he was going to convert on the spot.
~
I'm a wee bit late to the party, but...
BRILLIANT POST. YEAH! The knives are out for Rudi and are carefully maintained.
Folks forget that New Yorkers can be excruciatingly patient, far moreso than anything other place in the US. It's all about finding the right moment to act--not too soon, and defintely not too late.
It's going to be a very interesting 6-9 months of Rudi. I doubt he'll survive past early March 2008.
Thanks again for the FABULOUS post and keeping Steve's vision moving forward.
An excellent article. Rudy must be loved and adored by the Bush crime family, and all their neocon friends.
I wonder if anyone has ever researched his work as a federal prosecutor? That might be fun! After all, Mafia federal prosecutors like Rudy, don't come around every day, or do they?
With the dumbed down American public, he may be a hero to many.... After all, he is the "911" candidate (LOL). Just ask Faux News..
As we learn that most of our politicians are criminals, its nice to see a few of us actually do care! Keep up the excellent work!
And don't forget:
Al CIAda gonna get you!
I wish I'd found this blog sooner. Just last night I was discussing some controversies that Rudy G will face as we get closer to the primary season. Oh, how I hope he brings the subject up again - this is almost an unfair advantage that I now have. LOL
Great writing! How have I not found you before now?!
wow. excellent post. you should publish this as an article.
I've travelled extensively but somehow managed never to make it to NYC. Thanks to your description (deli at 4am) I've made it my next destination.
Oh, yeah. Terrific stream of consciousness and very informative.
LM, thanks so much! What a wonderful take down of Rudy. Is there any chance this can be linked to from the front page, so that we can refer to it often?
Frankly, Giulani has enough dead cats attached to his coattails already that I find it difficult to believe he will make it to the nomination.
Especially when the faithful have old Fred Thompson to endulge their Ronnie Reagan Redux fantasies.
(I predict the kerfluffle over his "lobbying for abortion" will be just that--a kerfluffle. The Republicans are so frantic for a Chosen Son that they'll swallow whatever story he gives them and eagerly rush him to the anointing.)
Just got back from a Ron Paul rally at The Paris in Las Vegas...he is going to do serious damage in this election cycle...the disenfranchised are going to carry him to huge heights...YouTube is going to be his equalizer in the fund-raising gap...Guliani got a taste of him in the South Carolina debate and was made to look stupid (no surprise there!)...Ron Paul will bring together ALL factions who want truth and honesty in the White House...we havn't had that since Kennedy was there!!
LM, you give me reason to live. I hate to admit that I laughed out loud. You sure know how to kick the ass that needs kicking. You do Steve proud.
This was a great rant read, particularly for those of us with a Joycean bent, but the people that need to get this info don't have the attention span to follow. To really get this into mainstream it needs to be punched up into terse, bulleted statements: ie, 10 Good Reasons why Guiliani would make a Bad President.
Anyone up for trying it out?
I found groupnewsblog from a link over at Lindsay B.'s. I can't believe it. I haven't had such a good time since I last read one of your great takedowns. Thanks L.M. I have truly missed all of you guys. Note to Dan K. above, don't let Ron Paul fool you. Don't take my word for it , check him out. He's a John Bircher(sp) among many other nasty like minded associations, and I mean nasty. I'm from Texas by the way, and we know all about Mr. Paul. Nasty business.
Well, I'm all bookmarked and ready to read. I feel like I found long lost family. Best to Jen.
LM, You did my heart so good with your sublime description of NYC. That is the city I love.
As for the rant on Il Duce Bag-so right, so funny. Poifect!
and Regards to Jen.
P.S. When's your next book?
Wow, this was fun. L.M., I like you. You've obviously been in town a while. I was working at New York Newsday (RIP, as well as Doug Marlette) when Rudy came to power, and the vibe in the editorial office changed drastically. They were clearly scared of Rudy in a way they weren't with Dinkins. They knew he was boinking Lategano and gay-baiting Cortines, but they wouldn't take him on. What was it Twain said about not making enemies with anyone who buys ink by the barrel? So, my first upclose encounter with our feckless and craven press.
The rumors I heard about Rudy at the time were that he was on the take from the Mob when he was a prosecutor. He might be that stupid, and there are certainly a lot of singing wiseguys these days...
You got it all. The next time someone starts crowing about how wonderful Rudy was/is, I just have to point them to this brilliant scalding scorching slice of reality.
Great article, but our work is far from done. Rudy is still leading Ron Paul is a lot of polls. We need to pull together and find more dirt on this rat. If you have any more dirt on Rudy contact me right away.
http://www.libertarianempire.com...om/
Contact.html
I'm sure that for everyone you named there are a hundred more you haven't.
I hope they all don't wait for RG to win the nomination before they start sharing.
Let's face it; the only scenario in which Cheney/Bush/Giuliani can "win" is one in which there are more attacks on US soil.
That's why Democrats and all good folk need to inoculate the public with a full exposition of the way Bush & Co have already "profited" from the 9-11 attacks.
It's no coincidence that just before election time we tend to see new video or audio pronouncements from Al Qaeda and that these have accrued to the political benefit of the Bushists.
Let's face it, if you're Bin Laden the last thing you want is competent decent governance in the USA, eh?
What we have here is a perverse confluence of perverse interests. There's no need for any kind of "conspiracy", eh?
We have to break up this evident pattern/dynamic by shedding gigawatts of Light on it. That way, it would likely backfire if employed again.
As awful/horrific as the mad dog crazed hate filled Islamofascistic fanatics are; they have NO power to shred our Constitution....it is only our own "leaders" who have that power and have been incrementally exercising it.
The greatest/most immediate and urgent threat to "our freedoms" comes from within our own borders.
Well, um, Mr. Kempf, I want truth and honesty and justice and all that in the White House, and I won't be voting for Mr. Paul. Sonofabitch claims he's all for individual liberty, but he wants to make abortion illegal. If he can't even get that right, why should I trust him with anything else?
We're half the population, yo. Little over half, in the U.S. Don't fucking tell us our concerns are not important, and don't tell us to be content with being treated like breeding machines. Because you'll be dead in the fucking water.
Great piece about Rudy, though.
Yeah, but I had a hard time figuring out how you really felt about Rudy....
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