Thanks for the reminder.
I remember reading somewhere, in a study of children growing up under difficulties, that what distinguished the resilient from the lost could be something very simple.
A teacher who took an interest.
An aunt or uncle who made a point of stopping by.
A friend's family where they could show up and get food and attention.
The study made the point that it really didn't take much to keep those kids hanging in there until things got better.
But without even these small tokens of affection, they went downhill fast.
We all blame ourselves for "not doing more" when stuff goes down.
That's human.
But we will feel worse about ourselves if we did not even "do a little."
LM, is your friend under any kind of psychiatric care?
I'm beginning to think that there is an epidemic of bipolar disorder in this country. I don't know if that's what your friend has, but I'm kind of reading between the lines.
I work in IT in the area of mental health research, so I see a lot of information about mental illness over the transom, and after a major shitstorm broke out on my blog between various factions of those associated with former US figure skating champion Christopher Bowman, who was only diagnosed bipolar 3 years ago, after I wrote an obituary.
There seems to be a connection betweeen bipolar and creative people. I hope your friend has good professionals to help him whether s/he is bipolar or if the problem is something else.
Yes, thanks indeed. I've been kind of down lately, in ways that aren't apparent to anyone else -- yet. It comes and goes, depending on season and circumstance. In recent years I've gotten better at managing it.
It helps to be reminded that we're all in this together -- or at least we should live like we are.
Nothing New Age-y about the truth that we are all related. I was reading Jesse's post above before sliding down here, and the fact that two men from two very different worlds could call each other "brother" underscores what you have to say. Part of the More Perfect Union idea that has been making waves lately. 
Glad you are back in the neighborhood, LM. A little older, a little wiser ... thanks for the reminder to care of each other, as WereBear said upthread.
We have your back, ya know?
I think I love you. Seriously. I have a blog crush on your writing... poetry.
blessings to you and yours... I will email and call a few friends, because you have made my heart ache.
I think we all missed you and knew you were doing something that had to be important to you.
Kindness. I think that is one of the best things we can do for each other....always be kind and to treat each other the way we would want to be treated....or to treat them the way we'd want our grandmothers to be treated....but just to remember to be kind to one another.
How sad and awful about your friend. I hope they are cared for kindly too.
And it scares me to think that the people in charge of this country right now have never known how to be kind.
The most earth-shattering radical thing we can EVER do is be kind, be gentle, be in the moment for the people around us.
While I'm an agnostic, I thought Jesus had it right--LOVE your neighbor as yourself, which is a dual obligation. For if you don't love and care for yourself, you will surely fail your neighbor.
It always seems to happen to the nicest people, doesn't it?
This hits pretty close to home for me. The one truly close friend I have IRL is institutionalized right now, & I have no idea if or when she'll be out again. I think her diagnosis is probably paranoid schizophrenia, but she's not exactly Chatty Cathy about it. I've asked to visit & gotten no reply, she sometimes answers my e-mails, & I leave "nice" messages on her answering machine. Other than that - bitter reality: I'm totally useless in this situation. I'm truly scared for her ... being locked up can really feed into paranoia or a persecution complex.
I've already gone through wishing I'd said or done more. Truth is, folks tend to hear what they want to, not what they need to - so I doubt anything in the way of more help or advice I might've offered would've changed things. Just wish I knew that for sure, for the sake of MY sanity.
The last month or so has been a royal shit sandwich, hold the bread, & I'm not prone to believe in happy endings at this point in my life, so I'm steeling myself for a big helping of ugly right now.
Hope your friend gets better soon.
You care, this is why I love you.
thanks for caring, thanks for the post, thanks for your heart, your writing, your sharing...
just... thanks.
Hang tough LoLo - hang tough...
much love to you, LM, and to your friend. been there... I think kindness and caring is the best way to live through it and come out on the other side...
I lost a mentor, and another dear friend of 50 without healthare coverage (died from lack of post heart ops meds due to no insurance), a mother from Alzheimer's, a father from Parkison's, another friend to skin cancer (he died slowly, and ugly), another friend from a supposed spider bite (he died slowly as his neuro system quit).
And I knew of 10 more who died, who were loosely related to me and my festing, in this time period.
From '03 to '06.
And that don't count those I lose in my youth, to AIDS, or early deaths from motorcycle, car, or natural causes.
I've had my FILL of dying. And Friends Dying.
It ain't war, but god damn.
I'm sure tired of the dying.
And I know, there will only be more.
Dying ain't the issue, living is.
Sorry for your loss LM, but hoss . . . .
We all are losing them . . . let's get ON with life.
At OUR ages, I don't think we need much schoolin about the dyin ways.
I grew up with dyin, and war. We ALL have.
We need to be talking about how to LIVE, dammit.
How are we gonna LIVE? Dammit!!!!
And if we have no PROCLIVITY for living, of what worth is this blog, or our lives?
Harumph.
Thank you. The older I've gotten, the more it just jumps out at, me that, whatever I've done and however hard I've worked at it or however deeply I feel about something, all that really, truly matters is, simply, my connections to people. Old ties, new links, people I'm really close to, or even those with whom there's just a particular kind of bond over an interest or an issue -- it's that tapestry of people that houses me more than bricks or mortar ever could. And now, with the Internet, so many faces I don't even know whose souls keep touching mine, sometimes, like in non-virtual life, in a very mundane fashion -- but you know the depth's there, waiting.
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