Should I???? Nahhhh - I shouldn't.
and to you and yours and oh my that looks SO good!
L'Shanah Tovah m'dear.
re: the smokehouse almonds...i will spend the day, or at least what day i am not up to my elbows in truffle ganache, looking for a recipe that i've had for a long time for "smoking" almonds.
doritos are evil. i know, i know, they are tasty, but the best thing to do is to find yourself a decent tortillarilla, get a stack, but them into wedges and deep fry at 375°. drain, and season yourself.
i am with you on all of this EXTREME bullSHIT. first off, all those EXTREME FLAVORS! are so fucking artificial they reek of formaldahyde, but mostly, they absolutely overpower every good sensible thing your tongue and taste buds were designed to do.
after all the EXTREME-ity, they are fucking boring.
i have about 8 doz truffle to roll today, but i promise to dig into grammy anna's recipe box for the smoked nuts card. it's the total bomb on almonds but it sends pine nuts into the realm of the sublime (piñon pine nuts were a vital staple on the rez)
MB,
Thank you! Will look out for the recipe. Also, I have a recipe somewhere for Tamari Baked Almonds that should be somewhat as good as the old fashioned smoked almonds.
Or I may just really smoke my own G-ddamend almonds in the smoker that Gilly got me. I just need a piece of food-safe screening.
Which leads me to another question. Where can I even GET food-safe screening, ie a piece that isn't painted with weatherproofing? I suppose I could check Sur Le Table but I kind of like the idea of cheapo Home Depot vs. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ for yuppie stuff that may not fit my smoker.
the almonds and nuts are not actually smoked jen. it's the seasonings that bring the smoke flavor.
as i recall the recipe relies heavily on plain old schilling hickory smoked salt. but there are some other flavors that really bring it out.
MB,
Thanks for the tip RE hickory salt. BTW, I really truly DO have a real recipe for actual smoked nuts using actual smoke...may give it a spin for shits and giggles...
I agree about the extreme flavors infoods. You can only find regular Doritos in big bags which I never buy because there are other brands (organic) that I like better. Every now and then, I'd like to be able to get just a snack while I am out and can't find them. All of the flavors are over done as you said. I like the cooking shows to and I really like Bourdain. You might like the eggpland dish I made the other night. You can make just enough for one or two people. I posted it on my blog under the dinner party post.
Doc Bopper,
If this makes it easier for you...I HEREBY COMMAND YOUR GROVELLING SELF TO COMMENT UPON THE NATURE OF EXTREME FOOD FLAVORANTS. SUBMIT YOUR MENTAL OUTPUT HERE OR FACE (OR BE DENIED) EXTREME, EXTRA-CHEESY, SUPERNACHOJALAPENO DISCIPLINE!!
I hear ya on the smokehouse almonds. Decades ago when I still patronized Sam Walton's stores, about once a year I'd get a #10 can of smokehouse almonds at Sam's Club and stick 'em in the fridge (it came w/ a handy plastic lid to snap on). Whenever I wanted a salty snack, I'd grab a handful or two.
Damn, I could sure go for some right now! Thanks a lot Jen.... 
I've noticed it too. It used to be Oreos were Oreos. Now they come in mint, peanut butter, chocolate, etc. I guess jalopeno will be next. Same with bagels. Bagels were bagels and then the food industry got hold of then. They made them bigger, smaller, turned them into pizza and sandwiches and then the extreme flavors. I ate a sun-dried tomato garlic pepper one as a freebie at a tech fair. Man, was it nasty. Leave food alone, you guys!
Sekmet--I hear you RE bagels. Even here in NYC, Bagel Central in the US, even the most staid bastions of bagel orthodoxy are giving in to the "fucked up flavors" trend.
Case in point: H&H Bagels on Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights. In addition to perfectly OK offerings such as poppy seed and "everything" (all savory toppings in a thick crust on top of said bagel), they now offer such dreck as cinnamon-raisin bagels (SACRILEGE!!!) the tomato-containing abomination that you had the misfortune to be served, and (lowest of them all) such total burn-them-to-the-ground-and-sow-the-earth-with-
radioactive-medical-salts abominations as chocolate chip bagels and blueberry muffin-bagels.
And yeah RE the Oreo. They went downhill the day they put out Double-Stuff Oreos. Next came the holiday "white chocolate dipped" ones for the holidays which are now out year-round. I guess I shouldn't mention the GREEN frosted ones for St. Paddy's day.
i live where we can still get hydrox cookies. nyeah.
jen: try this from grammy anna. it is perfect with salads.
1 1/2 cups water shelled, unblanched almonds
1/2 teaspoon liquid smoke
2 teaspoons water
2 teaspoons butter (sweet butter is best, irish butter the absolute bomb)
kosher or sea salt (start with a half, then adjust to taste)
for that matter consider all ingredients flexible. start small and make your adjustments, be careful with the liquid smoke that shit's easy to go overboard with.
stir the liquid smoke into the water, have the almonds in a shallow pyrex pan, pour the mix over them, cover loosely and allow to stand overnight.
next day, heat the almonds in 300° oven, when they are warm add in the butter, tossing to coat well. roast for 40 minutes to an hour, stirring frequently. cool on a rack, salt to taste. cool thoroughly and store in airtight container or jar.
you can also use this with slivered almonds if you don't want to bother chopping them for your salads...make sure they aren't blanched, and reduce the cooking time accordingly.
MB,
Will most def try this--thank you! And yeah RE liquid smoke.
L'Shannon Tovah and the X-TREME FOOD FLAVORANT Snorting Date
by Shub Niggurath Jr.
L'Shannon had a tendency to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was the time
when she and her boyfriend were arrested for indecent exposure while having
sex in the park not realizing that there was a policeman’s picnic there that day. Once, she
was cited for solicitation when she got drunk and asked a man for sex, and he thought she
was a prostitute. And then, just last week, was the worst of them all.
L'Shannon had just been on the worst date of her life. Her date, on the surface, was
everything she could have wanted in a guy. He was cute, witty and charming,
dressed impeccably well and smelled vaguely of warm cashews and Brazil nuts. She had met him in a bar a few weeks ago, and they hit it off
instantly, and agreed that a date was in order. She was standing in front of a local store
waiting for him, wearing a slinky, sexy black dress that perfectly accentuated her figure,
and some sexy underwear, just in case. He picked her up in his 94 Camaro, and as soon
as she sat down, he proceeded to blast his bass at unheard of levels, causing L'Shannon’s
ears to ring for an hour. He was cute, though, so she decided to stick it out even though
he was blasting played out Eminem tracks, just like every other white boy in town. He
proceeded to drive her to a part of town she had never been in before, all the while tossing Planters dry roasted peanuts at passing cars and pedestrians.
They arrived at the restaurant, a Denny’s, of all places. This guy obviously had enough
money to take her somewhere nice, she wondered, so why a Denny’s on a first date? Shortly after finding a table, he excused himself to the mens' room, only to return with what looked like a dusting of fluorescent flavor powder around his nostrils. As
the date progressed, he inched closer and closer to her. He furtively placed an arm around her
shoulders while she was enjoying her salad, and seconds later, on feeling her tensed up shoulders relax, he suddenly slipped his free hand under her skirt.
"What the fuck are you doing?" she asked, as she clenched her thighs and removed his
hand.
"C’mon baby. You are just so hot, you smell just like Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds and I love me some Blue Diamonds. I have to get me a piece of that," he said as he cupped
her left breast.
"I don’t know what kind of girl you took me for, but I usually like to kiss a guy before we
go any further!"
And before she could continue talking, he looked at her and dove straight for her mouth,
slobbering like a hungry dog. L'Shannon unexpectedly opened her mouth to accept his
tongue, as her body was doing what came naturally.
He tasted of BOLD Salt and Pepper almonds and overpriced macadamia nuts. She quickly got over the surprise. She opened her eyes to see his hands all over her 36C
chest, and a few open mouthed patrons and wait staff. She was X-TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEly mortified. Shannon
panicked a bit, and did the only thing she could think of to get this nutcase off of her. She
withdrew her tongue back and bit his. HARD.
He screamed in pain as she pushed herself away from him. Shannon grabbed her purse,
got up and threw a five dollar bill on the table. "That’s for my salad with the overseasoned and too intense tasting JALAPENO SMOKEHOUSE almonds. Enjoy the rest of
the date, asshole." With him screaming obscenities at her, she walked out the front door.
Screw this she thought to herself as she hustled down the street. I am going to find myself some NORMAL fucking Doritos, a couple of BOLD EXCITING FRESH tasting dill pickles, head home and play some retro-punk music while I wait for Tarzan to swing through my open bedroom window and go down on me. I'll make him toss my salad and jungle yell my name until 3AM. Then I'll give him two BIG HUGS, escort him to the front door and wish him a happy, healthy, prosperous New Year before I kick his ass to the curb!!!
Doc, I LUV YOU! I love you more than real Everything bagels and normal Doritos. :D Thanks!
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