LM, Miguel Cabrera plays for Detroit.
And a shout-out to Josh Gibson- the only man to ever hit a home run OUT of Yankee Stadium.
Somewhat related, Christie Brinkley's ex is saying he's sorry he ever messed around with the teenager. He's learned to respect the power of a good prenup and says that if he gets married again, he'll have the new gf sign Christie's old prenup.
I thought the word on Jeter was that he gave his girlfriends the gift that keeps on giving.
after my fourth (and last i hope) divorce my attorney, who is nicknamed "mongo" by the other family law guys, looked at me with complete exasperation and said
dude, i'm tired of giving away all of your shit, from now on i don't want you to fucking slow dance if there is not a goddamned prenup sitting, signed and notarized on my desk.
alex, alex, don't you know that this is exactly what madonna does when her press isn't clicking? dude, she's using you.
you go right ahead and be a yankees fan LM, i gots nothing to crow about, i'm a fucking padres fan for cryin' out loud.
ARod is classless both on and off the field. From attempting to swat a ball out of a firstbaseman's glove, to yelling that he's got it on a pop fly as he is running from second to third, he could not play another day for all I care.
And yeah he maxed out to G W Bush both times around in what amounts to minimal payback for Bush's team flushing the toilet and giving away the farm for ARod back in the '90s. The Rangers mostly sucked, while ARod did very well, kinda a preview for the country's current economic situation, with the Rangers new stadium theft from the people of Texas being the kicker to start the whole thing off.
And oh yeah...fuck the fucking Yankees, they won't be even getting to the first round to go out this year.
Well. Ahem. I wondered what the hell was going on, but I kinda stopped following Madonna stories in, oh, 1986. Although it does continue to amuse that for all practical purposes, Warren Beatty married the woman he dated after Madonna, as if some part of him had gone into Oh...My...God... mode.
And thanks; I knew Cleon Jones had disappeared off the face of the earth, but not why. (There were long stretches when I did not read the sports pages, unfortunately.)
And wasn't there a previous Yankee wife-swap "scandal" in the late '60s? Not remembering details, but all the sportswriters chewed it over back then.
I miss all the good stuff.
LoLo, you're smack dab on the money with your analysis of Miz Madonna and her career arc. I met her while she was at the University of Michigan when I was dating one of her dance school buddies. She told me she planned to be famous one day and she had the feral look of somebody that was prepared to schtup her way to that goal. She just had to figure out the type of men she needed to use as rungs on her ladder to suxxess. She done good...
LM, are you offering that SOME folks can fuck around in a monagamous relationship, and other's CAN'T?
ARod is screwed, and has lost his past.
I can't answer for that, I don't know that they had as a marriage vow. I don't know REALLY what he had with Madonna . . .
It's still all speculative.
But, for cryin out loud, how does ANYONE come across, even YOU, with judging ARod for his shit?
It's HIS shit, LM, not yours.
And you, hoss, left WAY too much of YOUR shit, in ARod's revalations.
But I agree, about the pullin an outside breaking ball, that's gotta go to right field . . . . and any time a good swinger can't go to the opposite field, he's fucked . . . if you catch my drift and metaphor. [:D]
Nice. Very nice.
Dead on balls accurate LM. In every fucking particular.
I speak as someone who did my own share of getting around prior to growing up.
Brilliant and deeply analyzed and beautiful written.
When A-Rod returned to Seattle his first season with Texas, his agent, Scott Boras (the jackass) sat directly in front of me. I had season tickets (40 games; half a season, weekdays only) and had two seats two from the aisle in row 27, straight behind home plate. Boras was three from the aisle ; his row was always reserved for the guests of the visiting team.
Boars was not watching the game. He was working the phone. He had an expensive brief-case, sharp looking shoes, and a $3,000 leather jacket if it cost $20 bucks. That sucker was HAWT.
Seventh-inning stretch, go get myself a beer. Two beers, actually. Was already a bit drunk and had been yelling "Alex... You SUUUUUCK!" right over Boars' head ALL game...and other sweet welcome to Seattle pleasantries.
Coming back, I sliiide past the people in the first two seats towards mine, balancing the two beers directly above Scott Boras' $3,000 leather coat, took aim...and POURED THREE-QUARTERS OF AN ICE-COLD DRAFT OVER BOARAS' BACK, NECK, AND MOST OF HIS LEFT ARM.
The rest of that beer was aimed at his open briefcase, but missed by at least two feet. It's my own damn fault. I knew I had the coat covered sufficiently a good two second earlier; I should have shifted my fire and made SURE I took both targets instead of spending the time laughing quietly to myself.
Unprofessional.
I offered to pay of course; he refused of course. It was all a tragic accident. Boras and his suds-soaked jacket left seconds later, silently.
And my row BURST into cheers.
The remainder of the years I had season tickets at SafeCo, I never had to buy a drink for myself again EVER.
Fuck Scott Boars. Fuck A-Rod. And fuck the fucking Yankees.
Madonna has been the prototypical Evil Succubus for decades now - you'd think most men would notice the Surgeon General's warning label on her labia majora - "Warning: This bitch will fuck you up."
jueseus man, my cubs are in first place...best recored in basebal...the cubs...the fucking CUBS in first place, we made it thruough june with no swoon...this is next year, satan has ordered extra blankets..and do't make long term plans caus the metir is hittign earth in november....this is NEXT YEAR....and your only baseball post is abotu some bum on the yankees and his screwed up taste in women...
jueseus man, my cubs are in first place...best recored in basebal...the cubs...the fucking CUBS in first place, we made it thruough june with no swoon...this is next year, satan has ordered extra blankets..and do't make long term plans caus the metir is hittign earth in november
The "best" team in baseball does not always win the playoffs. How did St. Louis, who staggered into the playoffs in 06, win the whole thing by whipping the Tigers? How did Colorado make the frigging Series over Arizona and Philadelphia?
Do not count those proverbial chickens yet.
Shit, man...and here I was on top of the world when last year someone called ME the greatest bleacher bum since Pete Axthelm. You just ruined it for me with this great piece. Thanks for nuttin'. 
DJ dont' go brinign chikens into this...i don't need any damm voodoo goign on...jsut need someone to kill a damm goat.
...i don't need any damm voodoo goign on...jsut need someone to kill a damm goat.
Like that's not voodoo? Typical BS...believing in nonsensical "curses." The reason the Cubs haven't won all these years is because they either sucked, or they were good, but not good enough (e.g. 1969). At least now they have ownership and management that is actually trying to win.
Larue:
“LM, are you offering that SOME folks can fuck around in a monagamous relationship, and other's CAN'T?”
Nope. I clearly said that the marriage was one of convenience—to bring him into a better marketable circle. “Family Guy” and all that to stake out a niche of his own (and a different one from his infield-mate.) Trouble was, he wasn't equipped to deal with it, nor was he in any way mature enough for it. He still wanted to play around, and yes—he was sloppy. Not to say that if his game was tight, he could have “gotten away” with it all—just noting that he has all the discreetness of an F5 Tornado, and shitty impulse control to boot. A bad mix for anyone—toxic for someone under the media spotlight in NYC.
“But, for cryin out loud, how does ANYONE come across, even YOU, with judging ARod for his shit?
It's HIS shit, LM, not yours.
And you, hoss, left WAY too much of YOUR shit, in ARod's revalations.”
As an observer, I have the right to note what I see, and comment on it based on the things I have learned as a man for nearly half-a-century. He was so messy and stuoid with this, that it's not so much judging as it is noting. And trust me, as a New Yorker with friends, contacts and access to the same haunts he rolls in, there is much, MUCH more I could have said based on things I know and have been told, but I've opted to go with what we ALL know, instead—which is in the end, fairer.
And yeah, while I'm not a $250,000,000 chiseled brown God like he is, I've been around the block enough times to understand some things about relationships. A LOT of things. Plus, I'm a listener, and pay close attention to what friends and people I trust, say about their “situations”, so I'm always learning. My shit is in there because MY SHIT is relevant as a man who...well, let's just say, “who got about”. I'm as flawed as anyone...however, I feel that over the years I've actually matured in my relationship literacy, AND have managed to find a shred or two of self-awareness. Something I (and many others) find very much lacking in the A-Rod we see. In discussing relationships, it's going to be a revelatory process, and I will reveal a bit about me and how I roll and see things in there. Is what I revealed horrible? Don't think so. It's just a hard look into the male psyche—take it or leave it.
Hard to be dispassionate about [b]passion[/b] though, hoss.
“But I agree, about the pullin an outside breaking ball, that's gotta go to right field . . . . and any time a good swinger can't go to the opposite field, he's fucked . . . if you catch my drift and metaphor. [:D]”
“Up for the down-stroke” as P-Funk sang.
Rosali...
I've heard the same rumor, and seen the alternate-universe version of my graphic—aka “The Tree”. True? I doubt it—he's still pullin' famous chickies like a magnet in a box of iron filings.
And there's a lot of hateration out there for him too, so that kind of rumor could also be born from that—like the one saying he was gay.
However, it's pretty much an established fact ex-Yank Dave Winfield got “The Gift” from messin' about with Robin Givens' skanky-ass mom Ruth Roper.
Ick.
The Wanderer: Madonna may have a hell of a succubus rep, but half the straight men and a fair number of the lesbian women in the world would still go for it, danger and all, given the chance.
man DJ, I have been waiting 25 years for this (was a sox fan breifly)...haven't been this excited about hte cubs in 2o years (89 wild thing)..et us have some fun
haven't been this excited about hte cubs in 2o years (89 wild thing)..et us have some fun
Your brief Sox fandom didn't impart to you a necessary element -- perspective. Nothing's won until that magic number is zero, or until you win that series-clinching game.
That said, some of my better memories are of warm summer nights during seasons where the Sox were deep in a hole.
Check out the Baseball Prospectus website (one of the guys there has branched out to politics, and created the www.fivethirtyeight.com website). Every morning, by about 10 or 11, they do a Monte Carlo simulation of the remaining season and list every team's odds of making the playoffs. I haven't checked it lately, but I'd wager the Cubs' odds of making the playoffs are at about 85-90%
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