I intend to enjoy a toast to the fraulein myself tonight!
I think you could do something with this.
And remember, his kids had him pegged before everyone.
I'm sad that we won't have Giuliani to kick around anymore.
What's Ol' Judith gonna do now?
My first thought—a little sequel to let the addict down easy.
Mahvelous, dahlink!
What's Ol' Judith gonna do now?
D-I-V-O-R ...
Um, how about ...
Jiffy POP!
I laughed my ever-lovin' ass off when the returns came in down here. Rudy struggled to beat The Huckster, and didn't even come close to the Mittbot and the Political Bisexual.
So the Rudy infestation of Florida, like the dense shitmist that caused a 70-vehicle pileup several weeks ago, has finally lifted and people can breathe the clean air again. Ahhh.
So, who's next? Romney, or Huckabee?
Damn this drawn-out primary process. He could have already been their nominee by the time people got to know him.
What the thinking was on how he'd be able to run pretty much explicitly on hatred of New York and those dreadful people who live there when essentially his only qualification for higher office was that he was elected here.
I'd like to thank that pack of addled qualification-light cugini he totes around with him for forgetting that when you say jump to someone, they're a hell of a lot more likely to say how high if you can fire them. If you're applying for a job, they're far more likely to say fuck you.
I'm sure his saddle-faced wife will eventually let him forget that instead of first lady she became the nation's most famous striver tramp.
Hope Steve's watching.
dopplegangers...
Not so fast, LM. Your work is not yet finished.
I’ll be delighted when Giuliani is history, but there is still a scenario in which Rudolf can become our next Commander-in-Chief: elections postponed or cancelled due to national emergency.
We cannot assume that the neo-cons and petro-security profiteers will voluntarily relinquish the levers of power, particularly if they perceive Clinton or Obama to be a threat to their pay-to-play arrangement.
Granted, Giuliani’s weak showing in the primaries has diminished his viability as the front man for a putsch. Someone like Gen. Petraeus, Tommy Franks, or John ‘There's going to be other wars’ McCain is now likelier. But remember how ‘moderate’ Thomas Friedman of the ‘liberal’ NYT praised Donald Rumsfeld for being crazy: ‘They always count on being able to out-crazy us, and I’m glad we got some guy … who’s just a little bit crazy, not totally, but you never know what that guy’s going to do, and I say that’s my guy.’
Consider the mood swing that would result from the media frenzy after an easily-arranged incident in which it appears that we have been attacked by Iran or ‘al Qaeda’. Our deep-thinking countrymen might well be persuaded that the situation calls for a vengeful psychopath at the helm.
Damn he got out and was completely irrelevant before Ms. Hanover got to stick a knife made out of her melted down wedding and engagement rings into his back.
Good riddance to a punk bitch who didn't deserve to be President let alone a mayor of a great city.
People are promoted to their level of incompetence indeed.
The first thought that popped into my head when I read this was "Hey! Steve just got his wings!!" Do they have Jiffy Pop in the Great Beyond?
Sir, you called this one all the way down the friggin line. My hat's off.
Nice work. Steve would be proud, I think...
SCENE: Paradise. Nice knoll by a burbling stream, it's about 75 degrees and sunny with a few perfect fluffy clouds out there.
CHARACTERS: GILLY wearing a "Jesus Hates the Yankees" T-shirt, and many other fellow occupants of the Great Beyond, all dressed comfortably and sitting roughly in a circle. Everyone is holding what appears to be a flat plane of light about the size of a sheet of newspaper. Ghandi sits in the middle of the circle.
GHANDI: Okay, so today's selection from the "Lost Works of the Library at Alexandria" Reading Club is the "Annotated Recipes from the Kitchens of Amenhotep." I'm pleased to announce that Chef Amenope is joining us, and will be doing a demonstration.
(Ancient Egyptian guy in a headcloth, loincloth, and all of his kitchen gear materializes. He is also carrying a light-plane).
GILLY: Hang on, before we get started, I just got an alert...let me send it over to everyone...holy crap... (Gilly pushes unseen spot on his lightplane, causing everyone else's to beep. Attention of entire group shifts).
AMENOPE: Hathor's tits, they finally got that guy out of the race?
GHANDI: One must not revel in the defeat of another, even an evil one...
GILLY: C'mon, you have to make an exception! I mean, I can understand taking the high ground and forgiving the last Viceroy of India, but this guy? He hurt multitudes and didn't even fucking DO anything grand in the least!
GHANDI (pondering)...hrrmmm....
AMENOPE: I hear you, bro. This Rudy guy and your Bush crew makes Caligula and his crew look like Phaoro's harem nursery for girl-children. I'm telling you, I had to cater some of that guy's dinner parties, and I KNOW....
GHANDI: Okay, I have to admit, this guy is pretty excerable.
GILLY: Yeah, sorry to interrupt. As you were saying....
AMENOPE: No problem. Today we're making honey-dome pastries with a savory filling of duck, leeks, and cumin. Historically, Egypt sourced these things....(FADE OUT)...
Damn, Jen, that's one hell of an act to try following! That was wonderful.
Oh well, here's something revamped to mark the occasion:
Bye Bye Rudy
Bye Bye Rudy
I'm gonna miss you so
Bye Bye Rudy
Why'd you have to go?
No more pundits
To fellate you today
Don't cry Rudy
Time to slink away
I'll miss the way you rant
just like Mussolini
And all your 9-1-1s
to spook us constantly.
(Bye Bye Rudy)
Bye bye Rudy
It's awful hard to bear
Bye bye Rudy
No one left to scare
We loathe you Ghoul-i
O yes we do
We loathe you Ghoul-i
Thank God you're through!
I'll miss the way you lust
to waste the Jihadis
And just like Bernie K.
I'll write you faithfully
(Bye Bye Rudy)
Bye bye Rudy
It's awful hard (so what?)
Bye bye Rudy
And nobody cares
And nobody cares
And nobody cares
And nobody cares ...
Happy to see him go down in flames, but is there any chance McCain will pick him as veep if he gets the nom?
Happy to see him go down in flames, but is there any chance McCain will pick him as veep if he gets the nom?
'Tain't gonna happen. The GOP Wurlitzer hates McCain with a passion - even the Washington Slimes acknowleged that, on the front page no less. No way will he pick a VP that's even less popular with the Noise Machine.
Otherwise, LM, your last few pieces are f'n PRICELESS. Great stuff to read during a difficult period in my life. Please keep it up! You too, Jen - that was fantastic!
One more thing: the ghosts of Amadou Diallo and Patrick Dorismond are smiling and yelling, "PAYBACK, muthafucka!!"
>All I can say is that you had to be here to understand why we New Yorkers didn't want Rudy-style government visited upon the other 49 states.<
Yo, there were any number of New Jerseyans and other tri-state area folks who didn't want to see this turkey near the red button either. During his reign-of-terror, we suffered through the same amount of hype about his antics as we do hearing about the Yankees 24-frickin'-7. (Pfit.) And twice of that was wayyy more than enough, thanks...:P
Awww, shucks, everyone *blushes*
Thank you....
Julia--
cugini = ???
Sounds like a good derogatory term in any event; must expand the 'ol vocab...
"Nemesis, party of two. . ."
Thanks, all, for the gilding of the lily.
Jen, that was classic!
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