As a father I can't beign to imagin someone who would hurt a child...I think that would enrage me past the point of rationality...death is too good..In saying that you made the right choice..SHE needs you more tehn YOU need revenge.
cute kid..
fonts better...kick the size up a poitn or two for thsoe us us with bad eyes 
It speaks volumes here that you dote on that little cutie and don't even mention your enviable (at least to me) music career.
Thanks for sharing this. really. I love you even more than I did before, And I love Dani too. give her hugs from the blogosphere whenever you have a chance. And thank you.
Whew. I had to wipe away tears. As Moonglum said, as a parent, it is impossible to think about how a person could treat a child in any way that could make her feel that kind of panic because she spilled a glass of juice.
I am so glad she is with you and your sister. You will be able to give her the love she needs and should have had all the other days of her life.
Man. 9 years like that. I'm a pretty non violent kind of girl, but I'd like to get hold of the foster people for a few minutes myself. Your restraint, because Dani needs you, will be important to her for a long, long time.
Teach her how to make some truffles too.
Speechless.... that little girl is so lucky to have you in her life.
Keep us posted.
Your restraint, Stevie, is a lesson she'll neither forget not take lightly. I remember you writing me virtually these same exact words earlier today (I don't know if you lifted them directly from the post or if your letter inspired the text. I'm guessing the former) and I still cannot get into the mindset of someone who would hurt a child at all.
But a little heartbreaker like Dani? That makes even less sense in an already senseless situation. A girl like that is exactly the kind of daughter I've always wanted to have but was cruelly denied me.
It's always driven me crazy that parents, stepparents or foster parents would get these vulnerable little angels literally dropped in their laps and on their doorsteps in the most outrageous acts of serendipity yet completely fuck up their chance to make a positive difference in the life of a small child.
And here I am with no daughter to call me own. Life rains vitamins on the healthy and gives the legless running shoes.
Life imprisonment and eternal damnation for those who would abuse an innocent child...
wow.
aside to jp:
the letters came first, i was writing you and some other folks trying to keep from driving north with a knife in my teeth.
I now know all I could ever need to know about you. That beautiful child deserves to at last have people like you in her life. Ah crap, now my nose is all stuffed up.
once again I am so glad you are here, and even more glad for Dani that you made the loving choice.
What moonglum said: She needs you more than you need (or they deserve) your revenge.
You're right: Our foster care system is something straight out of Dickens. Like everything else our society does for its children, it's perpetually neglected and underfunded. Foster parents don't get the support and supervision they need, and too many children -- many with major psychological problems -- fall through the cracks.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
At least this little one has found a safe harbor.
i keep reminding myself that i gave up trying to change the world a long time ago. i contented myself with changing me, through the process of the steps and AA, and lo, and behold, i found that the world around me changed.
i do what's in front of me now. right now, today, it's a beautiful little girl.
it's enuf.
As one adoptee to another, I wish Dani the brightest of blessings.
And, Dani, if some expletive deleted dares to ask who your "real parents" are, tell them from me, Fvck Off!
What a sweetie.
With patience, understanding, and love (which you seem to be demonstrating in spades), and what I would assume will be the wonderful example of loving parent(s), I think Dani will do all right.
prof fate a lot of the problem is who can be in the foster care system (a lot of lovign peopel are kept out due ot their sexual oriantation) and who choses to be in the system. A lot of religious nut domininist types that practice ritual child abuse systems jump all over beign foster parents...they see it as a means to recurit more for there corcive cult.
Wow.
The best revenge on Dani's foster parents is showing her every day that you are nothing like them. Their unlamented deaths in some forgotten burg in the run of time will do more for you and Dani than a quick and deadly raid ever could.
Sadly, Moonglum, you are correct. Only good "Christian" married heterosexual couples are allowed to be foster parents in far too many states, and too many of these are Dominationist nutcases who see their job as breaking in new members to their oppressive cult than caring for a child.
There is also the problem that foster parents simply are not trained in basic methods for handling children. Many foster parents are from lower-income families (note that lower income families give a larger percentage of their income to charity than any other income group, and are more likely to volunteer for charity work than any other income group) and while well-meaning, often grew up in chaotic homes burdened by poverty and had no models for child-rearing other than their mothers and grandmothers before them. Those methods may suffice for their own children, but a foster child comes with enough baggage to pop the tires of a mail truck. You need some Skilz(tm) to deal with some of the behaviors that *will* occur and those skills do *not* include "beating disobedient children until they behave". Without those skills, the child becomes a source of frustration, not of joy, and human beings act in irrational and often-violent ways when frustrated. That is just how the monkey is wired, 16,000 years of civilization have a hard time overcoming 2,000,000 years of evolution.
So anyhow, a) yes, there are foster parents who beat children because they enjoy it, generally good "Christian" parents who want to "break" the child's spirit in order to bring the child into their cult, and b) yes, there are well-meaning foster parents who end up hitting a child out of frustration because they are not trained in how to deal with a child with the baggage most foster children carry. And the sad part is that politicians prevent child care workers from screening out the first group (that'd be anti-religious bias if you prevented FLDS couples from adopting children!) and there simply is no money to handle the second group, well-meaning people who use corporal punishment out of frustration because they've never been trained in non-violent ways of child behavior management.
And so it goes. Note that girls in foster care tend to get it especially hard in these scenarios. A girl in foster care who escapes from the system at age 18 without being raped by a caregiver or a friend or relative of a caregiver at least once during her stay in foster care is a rarity. And we pretend as a society to care about children. Ah yes, the United States of Self-Delusion, I'd talk more about it but my favorite reality show is on...
- Badtux the Disgusted Penguin
Well, damn.
Years from now—and only then will it be truly confirmed, but you will know from her, vocally—just how much richer Little Dani will be for having her in your life.
Giving of your heart to a child—unconditionally, as especially when they are in dire need of it is a wonderful thing.
And might I also add that your loosing your pen and mind here makes The Group News Blog and its readers that much richer as well.
The blessings abound.
Thanks Minstrel Boy for taking that girl one more step into a much better life.
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