Discuss amongst yourselves
First. [But it's not as fun any more.]
Game may not be on just yet for the reasons you brought up, but the players are slowly milling about as the shock is gradually abating as all shocks must for life to be lived. Good to your word, Lewis. This phoenix could be more good for everyone than they realize now. Even if there is no Arizona.
There may be no Arizona, but there will always be a Cathy's World!
Oh, that was by Lewis? Without his byline I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.
Yeah, just when were hoping he'd start publishing his own blog, turns out he's moved in over here.
"Yeah, just when were hoping he'd start publishing his own blog, turns out he's moved in over here."
Another L.A. anomaly, squatters' rights?!
I was wondering that too, Jim. At first I thought Maia might be writing, until I saw her referred to in the third person.
Thank you, Lewis. Said a quick prayer 1:00pm Friday my time (Rhode Island). Looking forward to hearing about how everyone is doing and much more from you.
Christ, I never even met her, unfortunately - yet it feels like I lost a family member - a cousin or something.
Very freaky still getting e-mail alerts from Cathy's World. I hope this blog stays up some how - maybe Lewis and some of her friends can take turns...maybe even Maia every once in a while, when she's ready...
Probably just my way of trying to keep Cathy around - a little selfish.
Overall, it's been a pretty shitty week.
Patrick
Well meant, I know, but stunningly inappropriate...
This... is going to be an interesting transition. Allz I know is that Lewis can run around in his underwear and sing if he wants, but he'd better not be posting any pictures!
Tenth!
Sigh. Yeah, it's not the same. O well.
A great tribute to Cathy would be to adopt a wonderful dog or cat from a shelter or rescue organization. Cathy would definitely approve.
Sure, let him post. He's funny.
Maia,
The people who really count now are you and the people Lewis mentioned in that post, such as Sandra.
But if honoring your mother's memory is the concern, she wanted this blog to kick up its heels, take some chances and not be boring. The freedom to be outrageous and allow (nearly) unlimited comment freedom your mom gave was part of her WQ (Wackiness Quotient™). Mrs. Grundy she was not. Allowing Lewis to post here was not a decision she would have made lightly. Had your mom wished to have a "safe" person fill in, she would have never selected Lewis.
Still, your mom worried that Lewis would get too wild, and had to rein him in from time to time. So Lewis should run any chancy ideas first past you or someone else who was very close to your mom, or use a supercomputer to compile a Virtual Cathy™ he can check in with.
As long as Lewis is taking his meds, it's OK by me.
Bradley, you might want to follow this series. It is Mark Styne blogging the Conrad Black trial which began last week. Partick Fitzgerald again. I hope he has a better case than the one he had against Scooter Libby. I liked Black's biography of FDR a lot.
Mike K.
Fitzgerald got a conviction against Libby. What more do you want?
I am going to read the FDR bio - after reading the Theodore White book you so kindly gave me.
Patrick Casey,
The way Cathy arranged her passing was inspiring. (Of course, the event itself was tragic, there is simply no "good" way to die). With fortitude and sheer endurance, Cathy grabbed a few precious years away from the Reaper. Cathy saw Maia firmly ensconced in UCSD, and was able to die knowing she had fulfilled a duty she keenly felt.
And in the process of gaining those years, Cathy comforted a lot of lung cancer patients by arguing against underfunding of research, and scored some points against the HMOs -- simply by making the unarguable case that they should behave in good faith with subscribers. There's also her longtime media reporting, concerned with goading journalists into being more accurate and honest.
Cathy used the time she had to make this world better, and had a lot of fun in the process. Her good name and good works will live on.
I vote for more Lewis. If anyone can continue the irreverent nature of this blog, he's the one.
Bradley, I meant that his weak case was a disgrace. He got a conviction that should not stand on appeal. One ground for appeal was the treatment of Russert. Russert was caught doing what Libby was convicted of doing. Stating something under oath that was not true and the untruth could be demonstrated. Had the defense been allowed to impeach Russert, I think the conviction would not have happened, even with a DC jury and a juror who misbehaved by writing a diary for publication during deliberations.
Black's case was like Martha 's case. The prosecution caused far more harm to the investors than any allegation of acts by the defendents. Mark Styne makes that point in his first post about the trial.
Now, I'm off to reread Five Days in May 1940 for the third time.
I like to come here to read Cathy's archives and anything Maia wants to share. I don't have a clue who Lewis is and all his posts tend to be more about him.
I come here for Cathy's past writings and Maia, not Lewis.
Hm, interesting question with Lewis posting. Obviously, since Cathy gave him access, it seems appropriate for him to keep posting... it might be weird if it was the only thing on the site, tho, y'know?
I always loved Lewis' posts, but thought of him as a sort of foil, maybe? Maybe I'm just saying I miss Cathy's postings in a very slow manner and there's nothing you can do about that. :(
Anyway, it doesn't make me mad when Lewis mocks people... as long as its okay with them I'll still be laughing. Though I still don't have my junk food links. ;)
http://pererro.blogspot.com/2007...al-part-
ii.html
There are a couple of funeral pics up here, if anyone's interested. I didn't get many.
Let Lewis post. He speaks truth to power and a kind of uber-un-PC to everyone else.
She was one of the best writers and thinkers in a big town and really inspired everyone. We'll all miss her, and trite as it sounds, she and her daughter are in our prayers... jim
I was about to write, tell Lewis to get his own blog. But then it struck me that I keep clicking here, because I want to know how everyone is doing--even though I don't know any of you--and I'm glad to see any update at all. I think Lewis is irreverent but not disrespectful. He better make sure he stays funny. It's a thin line...
In another thread I shared a little of my experience with guilt after losing my mother. Another thing it took me a long time to realize is how sensitive I was at that time and how easily I took offense. If Lewis's commentary bothers you then don't "put it to a vote." You don't have to play along.
I have considered the possibility that I am out of line; who wants to hear about me and my mother and what I think at a time like this. You don't even know me. If I am out of line I sincerely apologize.
If you want to balance things out, maybe Sandra could post here?
i never actually visited her journal much. but it is very sad. i wish the best for her friends and family.
I vote for Lewis! He is extremely talented and entertaining. But why he doesn't start all of his posts with "By Lewis Fein" perplexes me. Also, IMO, he should only tease people he knows can and want to take it.
My sci-tech column about Cathy is up. Here it is.
Thanks, guys. I meant no offense. I stopped by with a fresh pie from Pizzeria Mozza (look on flickr). I get a kick out of Jerry. He's a good guy, too.
p.s. Sandra is giving me acupuncture tomorrow morning
I'd rather Luke Ford stop posting such nasty personal things.
luke is, um . . . yeah
It's really bizarre, and unecessarily cruel.
I think Luke may be working out his grief in his own, very public, sort of way. He seems to have moved from the denial stage to the anger stage rather effectively so maybe over the next couple of days it'll get out of his system?
I'd suggest an edited group blog as a fitting continuation of what your mother started with this journal.
Maybe a 'Friends of Cathy' journal, for when they have especially trenchant observations they manage to express in a style echoing hers.
Pick someone you trust, or edit yourself if you have the time (which I doubt).
I'd love to see this place continue, but that's selfish of me.
I'd love to see more thoughts expressed in a fashion like Cathy once did, though I know that it's impossible as she was uniquely talented.
But, I think most folks who love this site, and would be inclined to submit future posts, would strive to offer only their best.
I don't care what the politics are of the people who would blog here, I just expect a strong point of view being expressed well, as that's what this place has always meant.
I don't think any single person can manage the task alone, though, but as a group, maybe something special could continue here.
Keep Lewis but make sure its really clear that he is writing the post(s).
Oh and don't have too many of them.
I was just about to suggest a group blog, when I saw XWL post here. Maia (or someone else if she's too busy with school) could oversee the blog and Amy, Nancy, Jackie, Emmanuelle, Moxie, Tif or other friends could post or cross-post from their blogs items that continue the spirit of Cathy with or without actually mentioning her, and link to things about her. Probably at the same time, you guys should consider a one-stop shop site that archives her writing.
I like the idea of Lewis AND Sandra. Anything so we can keep playing in the back yard so to speak.
It still doesn't make sense to me. I choked on second-hand smoke for over 50 years. Why her and not me?
Jane said:
``I like to come here to read Cathy's archives and anything Maia wants to share. I don't have a clue who Lewis is and all his posts tend to be more about him.
I come here for Cathy's past writings and Maia, not Lewis.''
I second that.
Cathy and I disagreed on everything --- and I liked her anyway.
We would, I think, disagree about Lewis Fein as well.
Please, God, when I go, spare me "friends" who use the occasion to showboat.
I think Lewis Fein could benefit from a rewrite most of the time. Otherwise he's just tasteless.
And it would be nice for Friends of Cathy to post now and then.
IF you would like to post something on this blog, email me your post and I will post it under your name.
Loot, I love you too. Maia, my name isn't "Lewish," but I am Episcopalian.
The most apparent (to me) value of the blog without Cathy is the comments section in which people have been able to disagree on serious issues (global warming, Iraq, Iran, politics) without personal animosity. That rule was violated a few times but it held for the most part. Cathy's posts helped to keep everybody on track and that would be the part most lacking without her. Some of her friends could help by guest posting. Maia has lots to do and should not risk her future by dwelling on our concerns. She has her life to live and college finals are coming. I'll stay around until we see what happens. It would be a shame to lose this little cyber coffee house but Cathy was the sun around which our little Plutos revolved. Newton's laws of thermodynamics being what they are, I don't know if it will hold together.
Angry fired US attorneys are all over TV this morning. Washington feeding frenzy continues and requires very few facts, if any, to chum the water.
Please email me if you think Lewis should not post anymore here or if you think he should but in a limited manner.
Maia, it would help if your mother's attitude about Lewis were known. Did she like, or merely tolerate, his idiosyncrases (ie, goofiness) and politics? However, based on your question, I have a hunch she never said much or anything about how she wanted her blog dealt with after her passing----I guess in the bigger picture, considering all the far more pressing issues she was confronting, such a matter wasn't too important.
Personally, and even though I used to listen to Howard Stern several years ago, I'm not sure if a blog with Stern-type outrageousness, over-the-top candor and, most importantly, philosophy will be too compelling for many of her fans. Stern's persona, after all, reflected (and reflects) the silliest in both stereotypical liberal and conservative, and male-libido, inclinations.
Maybe someone like a Luke Ford would at least represent a better, more serious replacement (ie, I have some confidence in anyone who listens to Dennis Prager, although I know your mother previously dismissed that commentator as a "pompous ass")?
"If you want to balance things out, maybe Sandra could post here?"
I do think that's an excellent idea, along with additional FOC's postings when their time allows. That would truly reflect the context of this blog, since they were all close to Cathy and are interesting writers in their own right.
"I choked on second-hand smoke for over 50 years. Why her and not me?"
At the risk of sounding glib (which I definitely don't wish to be), cancer is a disease that obviously doesn't play any favorites.
I keep clicking over here as well to see if there is anything new in Cathy's World.
It would be fun to get updates from all of "Team Cathy", but more especially if there were clear by-lines.
Here's a suggestion from someone way outside the outside periphery. For the traditional folks...leave Cathy's site intact as a memorial of sorts with all the archives available for an indefinite length of time. With links to her other writings, too. Perhaps there'd be some continuing contributions centered on honoring Cathy and what she accomplished.
And for the folks yearning for the continuance of the rolling, rocking, and roiling comment love-hate fest, then a spinoff might just fit the bill. Put the link to it in a box under Cathy's header, and then let some of the alpha dogs around here hash out the details of a daily subject. We all know that the daily subject is virtually toast after 20 or so comments anyway, because the comment section will wander away on its own just as it always has. Although there's always the guy about 346 down who harrumphs and throws down a comment about the initial topic. Regardless, anyone see the Nguyen Nguyen on the split screen idea?
I'm praying for you
It does seem that, this being "Cathy's" World and all, that perhaps the site might still be updated with Cathy related news or memorials, i.e. updates on mentions of her in other media places, lists of places her articles can be found when/if someone puts together some sort of central location and/or hard copy collection of it all, and perhaps posts in which friends related fond memories of her. But I will second that idea that perhaps there should be a secondary site for the comments zaniness to continue (I like the group blog idea, but then I run a group blog, so I'm biased). I think a link to such a site on this site would suffice to bring people over.
We would, I think, disagree about Lewis Fein as well.
Please, God, when I go, spare me "friends" who use the occasion to showboat.
I think Lewis Fein could benefit from a rewrite most of the time. Otherwise he's just tasteless.
Hey, I personally appreciate that Lewis came in when things got really chaotic and started updating us and helping Maia out, especially since I think he and Cathy were on the outs in the last month or so.
I've been glad to have posts up on here, too, even if they were substitutes, and I know a lot of others have been, too. So let's not be too hard on Lewis.
IF you would like to post something on this blog, email me your post and I will post it under your name.
You could think about cross-posting, too.. pick out the best of the tributes and whatnot. I'm sure there are more lustrous things out there, but you're very welcome to any of my Cathy-related posts.
Maia has lots to do and should not risk her future by dwelling on our concerns. She has her life to live and college finals are coming. I'll stay around until we see what happens. It would be a shame to lose this little cyber coffee house but Cathy was the sun around which our little Plutos revolved. Newton's laws of thermodynamics being what they are, I don't know if it will hold together.
All very true.
Angry fired US attorneys are all over TV this morning. Washington feeding frenzy continues and requires very few facts, if any, to chum the water.
I figure a lot of this is hype, but I must admit that I saw MSNBC or Newsweek post something about how Bush had pledged his support for Gonzales and immediately thought he must be on his way out...
I'd like to raise a hand in support of the converging ideas of Mark, Allan, David N. Scott and Julie Scott; let Cathy's World be Cathy-specific, a living memorial with updates when appropriate. Move the commenter's blog to a sympathetic or neutral site where Maia won't feel that her mother's memory is devalued by the inevitable bad egg from time to time. It sounds like Julie has the blogging know-how and others may have enough to help if that's the way it goes. The two sites should be linked, of course, and I'm sure that groups like the LA Press Club and my own American Cinema Foundation will be dedicating all sorts of events to Cathy over the years, to be posted in both areas. As long as Harvey and Maia are sufficiently respected and not burdened any plan can be considered.
And yes, be kind to Lewis--he did step in at an awful time. He has his ragged edges and Cathy knew all about them. He clearly didn't mean to offend; like Sandra he makes his living on the scary border of funny/tasteless. We smiled at Sandra and should give Lewis a break.
thanks, gary. I'll betray you eventually, too. :)
Lewis, I look forward to it!
I was hoping to see a posting from Charlotte in South Africa - again, something tried and true and familiar (as with all of you regulars)...has anyone got her email address?
Dana, my email address is ccorbett at swissinfo dot org anyone who'd like to mail me is more than welcome.
I'm en route to Maputo, Mozambique for a funeral. It has indeed been a sad week. Thank you for the "hug of comfort from afar," it is greatly appreciated. As this is the only blog to which I've ever posted, I will definitely continue reading and commenting.
Lewis, thanks for bringing a smile to my face. True to my third world ways I've kept each and every Cathy's World printout (and all the comments!) and will be reading them on my trip.
This blog is an Internet living tribute; the meatspace equivalent would be adopting an animal or planting a tree in Israel in her name.
Bradley, Lucy our Boerboel dog has rejected our request for a new four legged addition to the family, however as is our tradition, my family and I have planted 3 trees in memory of Cathy and two loved ones who passed away in the week. The new additions will join existing trees that we've planted and will look out over a quiet valley called Hemel 'n aarde. (Heaven on earth)
Thanks, Charlotte. And yes, I'll betray you too.
Gary McVey puts it very eloquently. At first I was shocked by Lewis' postings, and Cathy's details of his sometimes tactless behavior. Then I realized that while Cathy obviously valued etiquette and all that, she was most concerned about whether someone had a good heart. All else was commentary.
Cathy didn't become so successful by playing it safe, and Lewis is following in that grand tradition. Who said conservatives have to be boring?
Who said I'm a conservative? I'm a gay, black film critic.
Are you saying gay, black film critics can't be conservative?
...let Cathy's World be Cathy-specific, a living memorial with updates when appropriate. Move the commenter's blog to a sympathetic or neutral site where Maia won't feel that her mother's memory is devalued by the inevitable bad egg from time to time.
That sounds like a great idea, Gary.
Thanks, Mike in S.A.
Regarding your earlier post, I've always suspected that in the secrecy of their private lives, black conservative writers Robert A. George and Deroy Murdoch were, um...I might as well just come out and say this-- film critics.
But without David E checking in, we'll never really know. If we don't hear from him soon, let's go over to the Fablog and cajole him back here. This is part of my perverse master plan to keep Mike K around as well; positrons need electrons. Well, all right, maybe "need" is a bit of an anthropomorphic exaggeration where physical forces are concerned (not to mention David E and Mike K).
Bradley, see if this is right: To extend Mike K's analogy, the diaspora of Cathy's friends can't survive as a centerless solar system; as sad as it sounds, there's a certain tough wisdom there (Mike K's stock in trade). But-switching the scale of the analogy--it might well exist as a centerless cloud of positively charged sympathetic thinkers. It's the positive charge that makes all the difference, the "charm" in the quark, so to speak.
Gary McVey,
I ain't no noo-cleah physy-cyst. But ah reckon yew gottah paint theah.
English translation: This blog thang Cathy started ended up being bigger than herself. We all gravitated here because we felt the need for the special place she provided. That need is still here. Cathy was the catalyst, but we blog habitants have reached the level of autocatalysis. We miss Cathy the person, but Cathy's principles remain to guide us.
The best tribute I've found to Cathy, strangely enough, was on Luke Ford's blog. When I pass, I hope my frineds acknowledge that I was a flawed human being, but they loved me for who I was.
Cathy seems to have been a complicated person == and there's nothing wrong with that. There were many, many things I admired about her and many, many things i will miss -- her sharp writing most of all.
I thought I'd say that because some of these comments strike me as being a little disengenuous. So many people said she valued good writing. I think you, as her friends, would honor her by remembering that.
Anyway, I say let Lewis go start his own blog. How hard is it to sign up for your own account? This is Cathy's World. Let Lewis go colonize his own.
I'm a gay, black film critic.
Damn! Since 80 to 90 percent of those in your category lean left----sometimes very far left----there's not much promise, logic or reason there.
Okay, yep, that settles it. The blog of Cathy Seipp definitely needs someone else to keep it going.
I vote for Lawrence O'Donnell
Not Nikke Finke?
Well, I think that maybe a different group blog would be better. I'm sorry and don't mean to be a spoiler of the fun, but maybe you guys could just set up one as a tribute site, and write about stuff you liked and that Cathy might have as well. Journalspace is easy.
And as for the rest, well, can the funeral and such be private?
In case I wasn't clear before, I was joking about not realizing it was Lewis without his byline. Longtime readers know he has a, um, distinctive style. Which I like, myself! But it's probably a good idea to put in a byline, just so newer readers aren't confused.
"But without David E checking in, we'll never really know. If we don't hear from him soon, let's go over to the Fablog and cajole him back here."
I'll wait here.
but maybe you guys could just set up one as a tribute site, and write about stuff you liked and that Cathy might have as well. Journalspace is easy.
I'm game - if anyone else is interested.
I'm not an Inner Circle of Seipp-dom person, just a person who enjoyed reading Cathy Seipp's posts, and some of the interplay between folks who posted here.
I don't know what will happen here, but a site that has a portion dedicated to Cathy Seipp's writings (Greatest Hits of Seippdom comes to mind), as well as the Cathy Seipp Steel Cage of Commentary (based on the er...freewheeling nature of commenting) might be a grand idea.
I was also touched by the cartoon of Cathy Seipp on the NRO site---though, again, I thought that Moxie's photograph was the greatest (Moxie, I don't know you either, but what a wonderful post you made with that photograph; we should all be so lucky to have such friends). Both show some of the sheer attitude of Cathy Seipp I enjoyed so much on the Dennis Miller Show (I hope that DM knows about this sad event, incidentally---heck, with a new radio show, maybe he would even want to chat a bit about her?).
Anyway, I look forward to seeing what happens here. It sounds like everyone has the right idea: remember Cathy Seipp, but not to lean on the family.
So I guess my too-long post is a "me, too!"
Gary McVey, thank you.
Seems like the better part of respect for the blog's original editor would be to let it end with her.
If you go to Christian "Reno" Johnson's site in the blogroll, he cleverly has all the archives linked, and I spent the day yesterday, going back through time.
I don't know how long all that stays current, but it's wonderful to read the early stuff, and see when different people and blogs and such entered Cathy's World.
I emailed her as a fan--never dreaming I'd get to be her friend.
I've just been an occasional reader of Cathy/Maia's blogs, but I am heartbroken about Cathy's passing, which led me to visit her site once more. And when I arrived here, I find out I'm not the only one still visting. And then I notice some comments about other people wanting to carry on HER blog? For what it's worth, that seems somewhat opportunistic and inappropriate to me. It would seem to be a real disservice to this special lady, and conjures up the image of hungry vultures, somehow. I agree with some of the other posters here, that if certain people wanted to start their OWN blogs and continue to communicate with Cathy's friends/fans that way, great. It's a free country. But this blog was called "Cathy's World," after all. I think it would be lovely and fitting to keep an archived "Cathy's World" online just the way she left it (MINUS any posts that may have been put up after), for anyone who might like to go back and read some of her brilliant writing in the days/weeks/months/years to come. But it just doesn't seem right or proper for the live blog to carry on without her, perhaps causing confusion for other visitors who don't understand/realize who is doing the posting in her stead. Is that what she would have wanted? I can't imagine who would want that. But ultimately, it should be her daughter's decision, shouldn't it?
Speaking of which, bless you, sweet Maia. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure nobody could possibly fill your Mom's shoes (on her blog, or elsewhere). It seems pointless for anyone to try. I hope you don't mind me leaving my thoughts here. Best wishes to you and your family.
But ultimately, it should be her daughter's decision, shouldn't it?
Her daughter's the one who asked people to vote, for anyone's reference.
If Cathy invited Lewis to co-blog by giving him her login, then one must think she had some approval of him posting on here, regardless of the blog name.
I generally agree with the consensus that we'd be better off starting a new blog or blogs as well, but I continue to think Lewis has been doing a great job for the last week, and think it's quite unfair to call him a vulture.
Perhaps it's too idealistic of me, but I assume that people who had offline relationships with Cathy, e.g. Luke Ford who she often blogged about and Lewis who she gave a log- in, have a better idea than me about what she would have wanted or what would honor her.
Wasn't Cathy at one point considering banning Lewis from posting here? She didn't have the energy or time to keep an eye on him. He would post without properly letting the reader know who wrote it.
I'm all for Lewis getting his own blog.
Yes Mr. Scott, you're right. I don't presume to know better than those who were closest to Cathy. I only meant to convey that it seemed odd that a blog that so embodied Cathy Seipp herself would just be taken over in its current form by someone else. And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything specific about Mr. Fein as obviously Cathy gave him license to contribute on her behalf. It just seems odd for that sort of thing to continue indefinitely, or for anyone to suggest that it should. But whatever happens, ultimately, my reason for visiting "Cathy's World" was to see what Cathy had to say, so it is her voice that will be missed. I guess I just think it would be nice to see her voice preserved as she last left it. To give HER the last word, you know? Just one reader's point of view, for whatever its worth. I'm sure Maia will do whatever she feels is best.
Bradley, see if this is right: To extend Mike K's analogy, the diaspora of Cathy's friends can't survive as a centerless solar system; as sad as it sounds, there's a certain tough wisdom there (Mike K's stock in trade). But-switching the scale of the analogy--it might well exist as a centerless cloud of positively charged sympathetic thinkers. It's the positive charge that makes all the difference, the "charm" in the quark, so to speak.
Nicely put Gary.
I really enjoy(ed) the commenters here at CW and while the comments often drifted in strange but fascinating directions, there was always a center, Cathy Seipp. Others have their qualities, but there is no substitute that I can see working. But then as Berra pointed out: predicting is hard, especially about the future.
Although if the blog had been put to rest, we wouldn't be discussing whether the blog should be put to rest, would we?
Also, what Kate said.
Lynee35,
Yeah, it's hard and weird. Thanks for reading what I had to say (so rare these days, it seems). :)
" Although if the blog had been put to rest, we wouldn't be discussing whether the blog should be put to rest, would we?"
Heh.
Of course after reading through 83 comments what is utterly amazing is that even in this, Cathy is an original. Who else has ever had the masses chew over and debate whether a blog should live on, should be put to rest, or become a public archive in remembrance? Yet another testament to her influence and presence in the blogosphere.
I've thought about the matter but concluded its simply not my place to weigh in.
You are all great people. While we mourn, we don't have to mourn alone. There is too much of value here to let this community vanish into the bit bucket. And I feel sorry for those who think blogs are just a bunch of bloodless tech musings, unconnected to real humans.
There! I've just had a shot of Cazadores Blanco tequila, better than Patron, to toast all of you I know through Cathy's World.
While we mourn, we don't have to mourn alone. There is too much of value here to let this community vanish into the bit bucket.
I 100% agree with this, anyway.
Er, I should've said 'regardless of anything else' or something like that. The 'anyway' is confusing.
I am Cathy's first cousin, Debbie. Cathy and I grew up togehter in the tow of Los Alamitos, from the age of 5 until she went to UCLA. Cathy and I were completely different from each other, however I respected her for her talents and contributions. Even though she said quite a bit about boring Los Alamitos, she begged me to go with her to the 30th reunion in Long Beach last year. Also, she was the first to plan her excursions down to south orange county, where I live, in order to attend family events. She even called me 2 weeks ago to see about our Passover plans. She was alwayswas on time. If I said to show up at 3, she was at the door at 3. She would come with a housegift and gifts for my children. Yes, she would talk about things in her blogging life, however she delighted in family and the people that she had grown up with - my sisters, her aunts and uncles,grandparents, along with our assorted extended family memebers. We would swap stories about childhood -including our first listening to Yellow Submarine, chasing the jackrabbits near the local navy base and riding bikes down Los Alamitos Blvd.
She was one of the smartest kids around, but had a mouth on her. Her mother called her "the mouth". We all recognized Cathy's ascerbic nature as a family trait that had been handed down from both sides and we ducked when she started.
Cathy was predictable - always picking meat off the Thanksgiving turkey and insisting that my desserts be homemade. She usually put down the gated neighborhood where I live as well as publish a blog entry about having to drive so far for dinner. I took it stride because Cathy was my cousin - and with her faults I still admired her. I never thought of her as a celebrity or anything else other than my opinionated and mouthy cousin.
I take real issue with certain comments that Luke Ford has recently put on his blog. Cathy and her sister had their conflicts but they should not be aired publicly. I know that this is hurting her sister and I am sorry for that. I know that people - in pain- can say things they do not mean. This is not the time to make public everything that Cathy might have said in private. I think what he did STINKS!!!
As a family member, I know Cathy from a different perspective than the rest of you. She loved all the attention that she received but she had demons like the rest of us. There are certain personal issues that I would never divulge about Cathy, yet I am reading about her "personal feelings" from L.Ford and I believe that is wrong. Maia is young and in mourning. She has lost her mother and that is not to be taken lightly. The family should also be given some respect at this time.
Well said, Debbie.
Maia:
I hope that you ultimately decide to do whatever you feel is right to do, not what others (most well-meaning, I am sure) are telling you to do. I think you instinctinely know who you can rely on for good advice when the time is right. There is no need for you to make hurried decisions about anything.
My only wish is for there to be a place where I can read the people who frequently comment here. I don't write much myself, but I feel like part of a group nonetheless.
Debbie,
Your comment was very moving. I am sorry for your loss.
She loved all the attention that she received but she had demons like the rest of us.
I saw Luke Ford's blog and his most recent entries about Cathy primarily make me more curious about what made her tick. I say that because she seemed to be quite realistic about human nature, both the good and bad aspects of it, and so I wonder how that affected her life in general.
I have a sister who has her fair share of disagreeable quirks, but underlying all that is we're poles apart politically. I sometimes wonder how I'd perceive and judge her idiosyncrases if we at least saw eye-to-eye on various issues and people, and if I was able to respect her take on the world around us-----eg, she's the type who gets all warm and fuzzy over issues like global warming, but I remember suggesting we carpool to an event last year (save gas!, save energy! reduce pollution!) and she couldn't be bothered.
Thank you, Debbie, for sharing with us a glimpse of your cousin's offline life.
Maia, if your mother is honored or remembered in an online way, then I will visit the site.
How can I give advice to you, having never been in your shoes? I will only say that I agree with internet ronin: you don't have to make any decisions right now.
What feels right today may not feel right a month from now or a year from now.
Dear Debbie:
You wrote the following about Luke Ford's posts:
"I think what he did STINKS!!!"
I would go further: it lacked class and a sense of proportion. Many people confuse honesty with tactlessness. Further, it seemed more about him than anything else.
My guess is that he was working out his own feelings about the loss of a friend. And not prettily.
But there is no doubt that what he wrote was hurtful, and in fact unnecessary.
Please remember that there are many, many people who would never dream of saying or writing such things at such a sad time.
Please accept my condolences on your loss. I am not family, nor even a friend of your late cousin, but I valued her voice and person very much.
cousin Debbie,
Thank you for helping us understand Cathy a little better. Your anecdotes were humanizing. They're things any of us can relate to from our own family experiences.
As for Luke Ford, well at first I had no words. Now, here are a few:
*There's no way you can be a friend to someone without being their partisan.
*Sometimes maintaining a discreet silence about certain things is the most moral thing to do. (The Talmud probably has something to say on that.)
My sympathies to you and the rest of Cathy's family.
Well said, Debbie. I cannot imagine public airings of private matters especially during such a time. Deepest sympathies.
In reading some comments I've simply cringed. Cathy's family holds a place as no others do, not even close friends. There is a longer history, more complicated relationships and intimacy in play because of that extended history.
Unfortunately, being a public figure and having a blog and putting your private life out there comes with a certain cost.
No matter, I do hope you and other family members who have commented in the last few days are given their much needed privacy.
A dumb question about HaloScan: How are you folks imbedding links? I'd love to be able, for example, to say, "There's a new post! Everybody over to Nancy Matocha's place!" and have her name pop out in blue as a clickable link. Simple, huh? What's the secret?
Like this?
(Meaningless boast: I showed Cathy how to do hyperlinks.)
Gary McVey,
Just post the link and HaloScan automatically hyperlinks it. Like: http://www.debian.org
You can also hand-code the hyperlink into words, using standard HTML. Here is an example: Nancy Matocha.
Here is how it looks -- almost:
(a href="http://nancymatocha.blogspot.com")Nancy Matocha(/a)
Replace the parens with the equivalent greater or less sign, such as >
The stuff within the quote marks is the link. The stuff after the quote marks is what will appear on the page in blue.
Hope this helps!
Gary McVey,
Here is a tutorial on hand-crafting hyperlinks.
Thanks, guys.
I've always suspected that in the secrecy of their private lives, black conservative writers Robert A. George and Deroy Murdoch were, um...I might as well just come out and say this-- film critics.
Not that there's anything wrong with that! :)
Dear Maia,
my initial feeling was that it would be nice to check back here, and see what the rest of Cathy's World was doing. Seems like that is what she will be doing (when she isn't watching over her most beloved daughter).
I can't really imagine anyone "taking over Cathy's World," but it sure would be nice to be able to check in and have a chance to see how all of those she loved, protected, and gave her heart and soul to - are doing.
It might give me a sense of peace of know that those she loved and mentioned are loving and mentioning her back.
Of course, things might then naturally transition.....
Be gentle with yourself Maia. You, of all people, need time to feel your own feelings, and to feel your Mother's continued love for you.
My love goes out to you for that. Don't try to be stronger than you feel. Ask for help when you need it. Your Mother was amazing; and so are you.
Lots of love, from someone who only recently began reading your mother's blog.
Laura :)
No Lewis. Amen.
To understand Luke's words about Cathy, see what he's written about Dennis Prager--a man he hates to love-- over the years.
I say if you're ok with it, Maia, then it's probably a good thing to let Lewis post. For now, until you figure out another arrangement, at least, it keeps the blog going and keeps the CS virtual community together a bit longer. Closure is good, of course, but eventually the blog won't be the same without your mom. I don't think it's at all bad, and in some ways good, to keep this blog, such a part of your mom, going on for a bit longer than it otherwise would. Won't be the same, of course, but then again that wouldnt be the point.
But, ultimately, your feelings should be given the most deference. Do whatever you think your mom would want.
Some people are saying good riddance. Some people.
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