Tell me something good
Oh dear god. I saw the picture on the cover. It doesn't even show any nip. Those comments from the boobaphobes are hilarious--if only they were kidding.
I was too busy sputtering over this to actually blog about it--glad you did. It saddens me even further that the sexualization of breastfeeding is cheating so many babies out of nursing in the first place or early weaning because their mothers are discouraged, harrassed or shamed about nursing them in public.
LOVE THE PIC! GORGEOUS! (Never again will it be so easy to meet someone's needs....)
APL, boobaphobe! I love that term. It is sad that people feel that way. It's just one more way to make woman feel shameful about their bodies.
Kate, I agree that the difficulty or perceived difficulty of breastfeeding outside of the house keeps women from breastfeeding to begin with or continuing.
I did feed Kid L in public because I did not want to make anyone uncomfortable. Now, I'm 10 years older and there is no chance that I am going into a bathroom to feed Nonami.
IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT SEX.
Yes, I'm shouting. Sorry. Well, sort of sorry.
I wish there were MORE pictures of women breastfeeding babies around for my 14 yo son to see. Perhaps that would help balance all the Victoria Secret catalogues and other media portrayals of breasts that I'm sure he will see.
give me a goddamned muthafuckin break, wouldjaplease?
I would send this to Twisty at I Blame the Patriarchy, or Bitch, Ph.D.
oh, and by the way...adorable picture.
Damn! I wish Muffin Man hadn't been so firmly anti-breastfeeding. I really, really regret not having had the chance to get in a NIP (that's nurse-in-public)
Yankee, well said.
liz, so far I have had no problems nursing in public. Most people don't seem to notice or have enough sense not to care. I did get a weird look from a woman in the library, but she kept her comments to herself.
I usually have no qualms about breastfeeding in public, but I'm always a little nervous about nursing in front of aquaintences. Like they're going to pay attention to the fact that I'm not very graceful about it. Last night we went out with my coworkers, and I'm pretty sure I flashed one of them. I honestly don't fucking care. He shouldn't have been looking.
Great post ccw. Beautiful picture.
Seriously, who are these people? We can have nearly-naked pregnant actresses on the cover of fashion mags (yea . . . we all look like that and pregnancy is fashion), but a nursing mom on a baby mag is upsetting?!
Shouldn't we be exposing even more people to breastfeeding so they can just get over the thought that it is freaky, sexual, or something to hide? Hide something, it becomes "shameful"; display it is becomes "normal." Yah, Baby Talk!
Casey, with Kid L I was weird in front of certain male friends or family. Not so anymore, if Nonami's hungry I'm feeding him regardless of who is around.
And yes, if your co-worker was watching, he deserved to be flashed. Isn't that the only reason he would have been staring?
lostinthemiddle, I agree. What people see at the grocery check-out is far worse and much more sexual than a breastfeeding woman.
Breastfeeding is not only the best food for a baby, but it is free which is a huge bonus for many people. It should be encouraged and supported.
For the life of me, I cannot understand why breastfeeding is one of those "bad" women's issues.
I was up really really late thinking about this and wrote about it (while nursing, natch!) this morning.
I wish I knew what to do to make it better, other than trying to make it as "normal" as possible by nursing AM on every damn shady park bench in the city of New York.
The human female breast has the ability to nourish a child. There's nothing sexual about breastfeeding. People are so stupid sometimes. Breastfeeding is a beautiful, wonderful thing.
I got my issue of Babytalk yesterday. 
Kate, I think that is all you can do - breastfeed without shame or embarrassment and teach your children that there is absolutely nothing wrong, gross, etc with breastfeeding.
Amy, did you manage to keep the pornographic magazine in one piece or did you spend the evening shredding it? LOL!
Have y'all seen the current issue of Mothering? It's got a cover story on why we need a breastfeeding culture -- along with a photo of a BFing mama and baby. You know where this is going, right?? The magazine was either taken off the shelves or hidden behind black plastic - a la the pr0n magazines - at a Whole Foods out west. The same thing happened here in Maine at a Wild
Oats a few years back. So if even the crunchy chains, whose patrons presumably BF more and longer than your average bear, get freaked out by these images, what kind of battle do we have in the culture at large?? It makes me crazy.
(Here via Kate, btw.)
I agree that this is not sexual! This is natural, and beautiful!
Women who breastfeed in public should not be censored -- a baby needs to eat when he needs to eat, it's just that simple.
I think people who chew with their mouths open are disgusting -- you don't see THEM being banned or shredded, do you?
Amen, sistah! I got a kick out of being referred to as an activist, like we're some sort of militant group out to prove something. Geez I'm too exhausted to be an activist, I just want to feed my daughter when she's hungry!
mc, welcome! I don't read parenting magazines so I have not seen the Mothering cover. Although since there has not been hoopla I will assume that the cover is hidden or was changed.
It's crazy that there has to be a battle (and laws) over breastfeeding. It's natural and normal, but you are right that making society at large accept this fact is made more difficult if the companies catering to women more likely to bf don't have the courage to show a picture of a woman breastfeeding.
KLee, I personally cannot stand children who run wild in resturants, but I would not suggest that children be forced into a separate room to eat.
Nancy, me too. I don't view myself as a "lactavist". I shouldn't have to, I'm just feeding my baby in the manner that works best for both of us.
Beautiful photo!
This makes me so tired, and disgusted, and frustrated, and I wonder why I don't move to Europe. What is wrong with people? Why don't you just not look? IT ISN"T SEXUAL!!!
Geez I'm too exhausted to be an activist
I totally agree! (Also way too lazy for formula )
halloweenlover- i don't know that it is better in europe- at least here in ireland- no one breastfeeds. every baby has a bottle.
my boobs, on the other hand, have seen all the major tourist attractions in the country.
what's more offensive, a screaming flailing child pawing at his mother's chest or the chance that you might see a little bit of my skin?
no one has ever said anything to me, though I'm pretty oblivious so maybe they do say something and I just don't notice.
lovely picture- nonami is super adorable!
Bridget, parts of Europe (Scandanavia, Benelux, & Germany from what I've heard) are very pro-bf.
These are also the kinds of places where long maternity leaves and/or nursing support in the workplace are standard.
Hmmm....
halloweenlover, it is exasperating. I would love to see real programs that support mothers and fathers. When our mortality rate is that of a developing country there is a problem.
Bridget, I would much rather see a raised shirt and the back of a baby's head than to hear an unhappy child.
Kate, it seems we are one of the last countries to support working mothers.
I saw this too. After I stopped sputtering incoherent mumbles about the idiots who think breastfeeding is 'indecent', I read a little more and found this quote from the editor of BabyTalk:
"There is a huge Puritanical streak in Americans..."
You know, if that aint the fuckin truth, I dont know what is.
It's just a freekin breast people! what the hell do you think they're there for?
And yes, that is an absolutely adorable picture!!
Damn, I knew I shouldn't have clicked through the article. Grrrrrrrrr. Of course it's impossible to know what kind of quotes the reporter chose not to use, but the overall impression is undoubtedly a valid one: the biggest obstacle toward decoupling sexuality and breastfeeding is the one that women throw at other women.
This is a great response, CCW. And what a wonderful picture! I really do believe that the best way to remove the embarrassment factor from breastfeeding is to refuse to hide it or be silent about it. So thank you for this!
Good for you. I recently gave up breastfeeding my son. He is two and a half. Never imagined I would breast feed for so long but it just kind of happened. Was under terrible pressure to give up though..mainl strangers who hadn't a clue what they were on about.
Kris, that's what I always think: do people think women have breasts to shake at men? Beyond popular belief that a breast is alsywas sexual, it serves a real purpose. It's a shame that our society has lost sight of that fact.
Phantom, I would love to be able to read all of the repsonses. Obviously the majority were positive, but I was floored by the percentage that perceived the picture as wrong. I just cannot imagine feeling so insecure that I would worry about whether or not my husband saw a boob when a woman was trying to breastfeed.
Olivia in Ireland, welcome and thanks for commenting. I'm sorry that you felt pressure to quit feeding your son, but good for you for sticking to what you felt was the best thing to do for your son. It's asinine that you ever had to defend your choice.
wow, that article makes me mad!! i had no problem with nursing in public, even when my daughter went thru a little phase of wanting to "show off the goods" so to speak. i think breastfeeding, especially in public, needs to become *normal*. people need to see these images so they can get over themselves!
My three sons have seen lots of women breastfeeding. And hopefully that has contributed to a healthy attitude toward the body.
I hate how our culture sexualizes and fetishes parts of women's bodies. We have such fucked-up attitudes towards the body.
Beautiful photo.
michelle, I agree. Breastfeeding is normal and bf in public is not done to provide anything other than food to a child.
jo(e), I think it's great that your sons see women breastfeeding. Children learn most of their hang-ups at home and by not hiding breastfeeding for fear they will see a breast will certainly ensure that they will never view it as sexual or gross.
Our culture is completely warped when it comes to the body, but especially women's bodies. Women are held to a higher standard by themselves, men, and other women. The fact that women attack each other over breastfeeding just illustrates how ridiculous the problem has become.
Beautiful photo!
I am in no way a lactivist, even though I breastfed Ellie until she was 2 (25 months, actually) and gave it up on her own. I hope to breastfeed New Baby for nearly as long.
But I was so so scared of getting dirty looks or snide comments that I just couldn't feed her in public. I would sit in my car. It's odd, because I'm willing to cheer for the Planned Parenthood marchers at local parades while the Catholics hiss beside me, but when I'm breastfeeding I feel . . . vulnerable. And that totally sucks.
If breasts are considered purely sexual it is because the portion of society who feel the way this woman feels has made them that way - they were given to women to feed our young....they are practical and functional and life giving - so much more than sex.
Sarahlynn, I think you can be vulnerable when you breastfeed in public. Physically you have another person attached to you and mentally if you have people making remarks/giving you looks. I hope that you are able to let go of your worries and feed the new baby where ever you go. The feeling is wonderful, plus it is much easier.
Jesscia, I agree; breasts primary purpose is to feed children not provide sexual enjoyment. Breastfeeding is not sexual in any way and it is sickening that you have people who try to make it sexual.
Aw, that's a GREAT shot. I've posted a couple too. (I didn't have any quite as close up as yours, unfortunately. Must rectify that soon.)
I think the cover shot is beautiful and perfect for that kind of magazine. Had I not read about the controversy, it never would've occurred to me that it would be something noteworthy at all.
I used to work with a woman at a children's museum who would get all huffy if someone was breastfeeding. Hello, children's museum!?!
BTW, I'm here by way of jo(e)'s page. Nice to "meet" you!
I was Googling to find out if I could give my cat Orajel and your blog came up. Fun read. I'm bookmarking it. Idiots about the BabyTalk cover. Get a damned life, people. Anyway, I'll visit again.
Would you happen to know if I can give my cat Orajel?
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