I see some hands over here...
REM. Through gritted teeth...
Using Craig's criteria: I own both of their greatest hits. I would leave both on the radio without question. I don't hate either. *sigh.* I'm geeking than I am funky, though. Rush wins.
Genesis.
The 5-0.
1. R.E.M.
The B-52 is a cool airplane, though.
2. P-Funk
Let's just face it. Canada has a funk gap.
3. Temptations
To invoke the Sports Guy, Phil Collins is the Music Tournament Satan.
4. Police
Let's see - Roxanne, Message in a Bottle, Don't Stand So Close To Me, Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, Every Breath You Take, King of Pain
So many good songs.
Wow, I never would have thought the Smashing Pumpkins would have beat Queen 39-2. Somebody tell me that's a typo.
REM: Someone give these self-absorbed hacks a real opponent! Like, any of the remaining six bands in this bracket?
Rush: I may live in Chocolate City, and Parliament's Greatest Hits are indeed the bomb, but my inner nerd would never let me sleep again if I voted against the band whose weaker offerings I still own and cherish. Time to break out my copy of "Presto."
The Temptations: The whole "inner nerd" thing only goes so far.
The Police: Wouldn't it have been cool if they'd somehow gone up against NWA in the first round? Yeah, that's not germane here, but there's not much to say about this matchup. If you like INXS, which I do, you'll love the Police.
1.) R.E.M. I would complain that this matchup isn't in Athens, as would be appropriate, but then I have to remember that R.E.M. is contractually obligated not to play the Classic City.
(That's what gave rise to the Animal Rule at the 40 Watt: perhaps ten years ago or so, if you saw a band on the schedule with an animal in the name, there was about a one in three chance it was R.E.M. performing incognito. I think by the time I went to school they were only in Athens rarely.)
I love the B-52s, but this isn't close.
2.) P-Funk, because I'm not a drummer.
3.) Remind me again who Genesis beat first round? I was inflicted with one of their songs just yesterday in the ice cream store. It was viscerally painful. And having just seen Standing in the Shadows of Motown (which I highly recommend!), I'm all about the Temptations.
4.) I don't particularly like INXS, but I still love the Police.
1. R.E.M.
2. P-Funk. I don't think Rush has a member in a diaper.
3. Genesis was really two bands. One was good, one was not. The Temptations, despite the ever-changing membership, didn't go through a dispiriting descent into crap and thus earn the vote.
4. The Police. Because they make me wonder who would win in a fight between the King of Pain and the King of Spain.
For what it's worth, in round one Genesis beat the Mamas and the Papas by one vote during the week I was away from my computer. I'd have voted the M&P's which would have put the tie into the hands of the Commissioner.
Today's votes:
REM P-Funk Temptations Police
-MMM
For the record, I would have been California Dreamin' if that were the case.
REM. Am I the only one who loves Everybody Hurts and its accompanying music video?
Parliament-Funkadelic. If your best-known member is a drummer, you suck.
The Temptations. With all due respect to Peter Gabriel, see above for the Phil Collins years.
The Police.
ADJ
The above vote was cast by me.
In response to Greg's query, they both decide to gang up and kill the King of Wishful Thinking.
Damn, I just ruined a good bonus idea.
1. B-52s, in the biggest battle Athens has seen since the Peloponese. (Hey, I made an ACF joke!)
2. Parliament. Funk over power ballads any day.
3. Ick. Motown vs. Phil Collins. I'll take the Temptations, even though the persistence of "My Girl" every 45 minutes on oldies radio kills the format for me.
4. INXS, in the battle of lead singers about whom strange sexual stories have circulated.
Anthony, but when that drummer is Neal Peart, you don't suck. 
And when did Rush ever do a power balled?
1. Here we have the Athens, GA battle. I'll sum it up by saying that (until "Up,") my least favorite REM (Out of Time) prominently featured the B-52s' Kate Pierson on several tracks. I should have used my blackball on the B-52s - it's as if they decided that one singer with an extremely grating voice wasn't enough and that they had to go for two.
Sign The Answer Guy Is Painfully White #1
2. Rush. I might opt for P-Funk in public. In private I'll air drum to Neil Peart's skin-bashing, every time.
Sign The Answer Guy Is Painfully White #2:
3. Somebody's gotta stand up for Genesis. It's not all Phil Collins (even after Gabriel, the other two guys wrote most of the good Genesis songs), and it's where Collins tended to be at his best. I could care less how painfully uncool this makes me.
4. The Police. Craig's list covers nearly every good INXS song; it only scratches the surface of the Police's greatness (and leaves off "Synchronicity II," one of my favorite songs to crank on the car radio)
Hmm...Rush power ballads.
"Closer To The Heart" is kind of a power ballad, but it's much faster in tempo than the traditional power ballad.
The closest thing to a power ballad Rush ever did is a number about AIDS called "Nobody's Hero." It is cringe worthy, and when I listen to "Counterparts," it gets skipped every time.
On the other hand, the title track from "Presto" is also pretty much a power ballad, and it's one of my favorite Rush songs - very underrated. It's even something of a love song, something Neil Peart famously wrote few of.
OK, I did forget about Nobody's Hero, But can you blame me?
R.E.M.
P-Funk
Genesis
Police
I guess I associate people who like Rush with people who tend to like power ballads, so that's where I erred. Truth is, if I have ever heard a Rush song, I certainly wasn't informed about it.
1. R.E.M.
2. P-Funk
3. Genesis
4. The Police
R.E.M. have been irrelevant since leaving IRS, but they did have the good sense to bring Robyn Hitchcock with them on part of the Green tour and Camper Van Beethoven on the Document tour. the B-52s brought Ziggy Marley. Hoo-ray.
P-Funk. Down with Math Rock.
Temptations. Still bitter about them bouncing the Replacements, but better them than Genesis.
Po-lice, even though my favorite song by them is "Be My Girl (Sally)."
R.E.M
Parliament Funkadelic
Temptations
Mourning the passing of Michael, but voting Police
1. B-52s
2. Rush
3. Genesis
4. Police
Take the chalk 4 times.
REM
P-Funk (Osmium beats Objectivism)
Temptations
Police
1. The B-52s. I'll be going back to Rockville anyway.
2. Parliament-Funkadelic. Send Rush down the River with Tom Sawyer.
3. The Temptations. Motown rules.
4. The Police.
Back!
REM by a landslide -- B52s are not getting down far down the Atlanta Highway...
Parliament
Temptations - The legacy speaks for itself, much as I like Genesis.
Police.
~ T ~
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