I saw this for the first time a couple of months ago, and agree with your assessment of it. I felt there was a little sugarcoating of the wife's change of heart halfway through, but that's typical Hollywood. The reactions of most of the characters were very, very believable and Tom gave an outstanding and sympathetic performance. Ruth's growing peace of mind as she came to terms with herself was clear.
At the end, I was left wondering what was in store for the future for this family. I read a comment on another blog today that struck a chord with me: "Happy endings are only happy because of when they stop — if you saw what Happy Ever After really meant, it would look just as miserable as anything else." Pessimistic? Maybe. But we stop believing in Disney fairy tales when we grow up, right?
Khyri: I like the questions that weren't answered. Like when the son asked 'if you stay together after the operation, does that mean Mum is a lesbian?' He partly didn't answer because of the heated situation, but it also became clear that it wasn't a question that had one right answer, because it was so much more complex than that, the reasons why she would or wouldn't stay or would or wouldn't still love Roy as Ruth.
There didn't need to be an answer, because each couple has to work these things out themselves. Some people can love a person (romantically) regardless of gender, others can't. Gender means different things to different people and has more of a place in some people's sexuality. At first I used to admire people who could look past gender in their romantic relationships, but now I don't feel quite the same.
The truth is you either can or you can't accept a person of changed gender as a romantic or sexual partner - it's not really an achievement except in the sense of looking past what others think and say about it (that can be very hard and very admirable) And if I'm really honest, I don't really think that being celibate in order to stay with someone is particularly admirable either (not in an objective sense). It's not a higher or braver course of action than splitting up - because to support your loved one as a friend can be just as beautiful and brave as staying and supporting them as a spouse.
I'm really just circling my original point, which is that the answer can only be case-by-case and has to be workable for both people. And I think the movie made that point in leaving a lot open and unsaid.
As life is case by case...the interaction of souls and minds! As volatile as an atom!
alan
Yes, watching this movie was particularly painful for me, especially because I am a transwoman. There were some intense moments between the two main characters, but the impact on their children and watching the healing equally hit home for me.
Good movie, and great review.
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