Nobody's perfect we all fall short sometimes just make an effort to learn from it and do better in te next moment, it's what I do.
I have 4 very different kids and sometimes I'm just tired, when we know better we do better 
If the issue with the TV is noise, why not invest in a set of wireless headphones like these ones?
I find they really come in handy when my little ones want to listen to their favorite kids' CD's for the umpteenth time...
Hi CW -- except the unschooling life Colleeen longs for, based on everything I'vce heard from her so far, is the whole enchilada. Freedom from all that. Not just in the three Rs.
I realized when I saw this, that I don't know any unschooling families at all, who limit, prescribe, enforce and control everything but academics. Seriously?
I guess the world is full of a number of things, and we should all be happy as kings? (apologies to Robert Louis Stevenson) . . .
Hi Crimson Wife. I'm kind of testing the waters with letting him choose his activities. It's been a struggle because we used to regulate hi tv watching pretty heavily (came from a Waldorf school) but I do want to give it a try. It's just tough in the house we're in now because there's nowhere you can go to get away from the sound, so I have started asking him to turn it off when it's bugging me, especially if he's doing something else along with watching tv. I think it will be different once we're back in our own house. We'll see....
I found this post through the link over at J.J. Ross' blog "Cocking the Snook".
The question, I have for you is this: if the T.V. watching bothers you so much, why do you permit it? "Unschooling" doesn't have to mean "unparenting". You can allow your DS take the lead with his education while still maintaining rules in other areas such as screen time. Many of the "unschoolers" I know IRL do this.
Just something to consider...
I think I'm going to see if Warren and Jerry might want to go away without me this weekend. We were planning on going to this really beautiful peninsula--I'll be sorry to miss it--but there's beauty in staying home alone too!! Hopefully Warren won't have to work and he won't mind going without me! I could definitely use the break!!
Yes, Shell, that's true about friends. And I think maybe being older Jerry was trying to play the "cool older kid" role. Or maybe he's just tired too! Probably more the later now that I think about it.
Colleen, I'll have to agree with the response... I think you need some time (or even just a few hours) apart from each other, if that is an option at all.
Yes, sometimes we're not ready to forgive right when our kids are ready to be forgiven. I do feel that once in a while with my 7 year old who has days of acting like a teenager. We're humans, not machines. *sigh*
Oh dear, dear Colleen...sometimes life is all a bit much isn't it...and you have a whole lot more than most to cope with. I know all about not leaving the house...I know all about not having a car (honestly I thought I might need prozac the first time I had 2 months without one!)...but the new country thing- that's huge! I get homesick when in another city for a few days...I can't even imagine how weird it must be to be trying to live a normal life in a new country.
Don't you also find that when a friend comes over everything changes just a little? You;re trying hard to make them comfortable too, and (well it works this way here) the kids tend to test boundaries. Anyway, I think you're amazing...and so is Jerry...you guys are too cool- and there are no bad days really when you analyse them- more like bad moments :0)
Oh, thanks so much all of you. I got a little teary when I read your comments--in a good way. Jerry and I are doing better now. And I think you all were right in saying it's okay for him to know how his words can impact another person. We went out with some friends today and on the bus home he said he didn't think he was quite over what had happened last night. I said I wasn't either and explained about how I'd been feeling. I think we both felt a little better after that--it was the first time all day I felt ready to talk about it. Then when we got off the bus the sky was all pink and orange and sapphire and there was this huge rainbow that we could see from end to end. It wasn't quite the "Ahhhhhh!" moment it may have been because we were still so drained from the whole experience. But it was nice to have something beautiful to marvel at as we walked.
Hang in there girl - have left a message on your cell & will try you again later.
C x
PS. fantastic advice from the ladies who posted above
{{{{hugs}}}} - if you want.
I completely second what NatureMom said. Maybe looking at how putting yourself and your needs second doesn't really work out in the long run, even if it can seem easier in the moment than working something out.
I've found that unschooling means I need to be in touch with *my truth* and *my needs* even more than I was before, so I can bring all that I am to the table. Each moment brings with it an opportunity for me to be *honest* about what I'm feeling - because when I'm not, stuff builds up, and it feels like it's their fault. When really, I was never clear with what *I* wanted. Not just with my kids, but with myself, too! It means I get to know myself even more. It's all a gift - really!
((Hugs mama))
Give yourself a break. You are NOT a bad mom in the least. You were frustrated, angry, and stressed. You are entitled to all of those feelings and I think it is an important life lesson that your son know how his words and actions directly impact others emotionally..for the good and the bad. Mom isn't code for perfect. Neither is adult. And since we are always "learning" how to parent it is inevitable that we will feel as though we "fail" in some ways. As long as you can get past it and learn from it...is it really a failure?
Ay, Colleen, I know the trapped feeling well. Of course I'm not with a hormonal teenager but with two young kids who are at times completely insane. I dunno which is worse, maybe they're equal! I think you did do the right thing by getting out of there. Sometimes you just have to flee the insanity. You're not a bad mom for that-- a bad mom would have stayed and completely snapped and started screaming like a banshee.
It's SO COMPLETELY OKAY to not want to be treated like that, by your son or ANYONE!
Ah, Colleen, my heart goes out to you.
This is what it means to parent a teen.
And rightly you might say..."but he's only 12 or not even quite or just turned".
Still that's what it is.
The "wonderous" stage when you know that they're old enough to know better and they still treat you like crap.
You did the right thing. Just get out of there, especially if you're prone to aggression when you're cornered.
And really, who isn't?
It may take some time for you to work through this "new boundaries" stage with Jerry.
Please remember that as the parent you do have the right and responsibility to let him know, in whatever terms you deem appropriate (even if it means hiding in the garage), that people who have a general respect for one another do not talk to each other that way.
And that a hug doesn't alway fix it.
That being said, I, ironically, send you a virtual hug in support.
Ah, what's one bad day?
Ouch. It sounds like you two need a break from each other. Is there someone HE could spend the day and night with? Any chance your husband could take him somewhere overnight without you (I'm guessing not given his crazy work schedule)? It's tough to arrange stuff when you are just visiting a place, I know. **hugs**
Commenting by HaloScan
