If Laura's parent is your first cousin, then Laura is your first cousin once removed. Laura and D'Arcy are second cousins. I have a large extended family. :)
No one ever mistook my son for a girl when he was an infant but now that he has a shoulder-blade length ponytail it happens all the time.
D'Arcy is so cool! And you are so cool too for letting him do his own thing.
Genealogical answer depends on the culture, Crit. I'm still struggling to figure out "the American Way," so I must bow to Julie's competence. Where I come from, it would be simple: Laura would be your (cousinish) niece while D'Arcy and Laura would also be, as in Julie's scenario, second cousins. I still think the generational aspect has to be respected, so I don't get it why a little girl and a fully blossoming woman should be considered cousins unless their parents were, by some strange fluke, siblings. :)
D'Arcy looks great in anything he wears--his cuteness is a universal fit! (great job, Mom!)
bugger, i wrote a long reply and then failed to post it. it said (roughly)...
julie Your explanation clears up some stuff. I had thought that L and D were second cousins. One time when I was talking to a friend about my relationship with L he said it depends on whose perspective you're talking about the relationship from ... (and then I had a brainwave mand remembered that in English we have relationship words like that "aunt/niece"...different words depending on whose perspective you're talking about.
Angel I like that you have a different cultural viewpoint on this, it's really interesting, I agree about needing to recognise the generational difference - I think that is what the expression 'removed' is about, that the two people are related but their closeness has been removed by a generation...I like the cousin/niece concept.
In English we don't make very many distinctions between different relationships. I have a friend whose Mother is Swedish and Father is English. Her 4 year old son called his grandmother "mur-mur" (mother's mother) and his grandfather "grand-dad". I like that there is no further need to explain when taking _about_ grandparents in Swedish. In english you'd have to say "my gradmother on my mother's side" for total ease of clarity (or "my mother's mother" but listeners tend to get thrown by that style once you get past too many generations. as it doen't tell the listener directly what this person's relationship is to _you_.)
Hmm, lots more to think about there. Socio-linguistics, my not-so-hidden passion.
I love 'mur-mur'!!! I want to be a 'mur-mur' when I grow up! But what should my son's kids call me? 'Mur-dad' or 'dad-mur'? Could you ask you friend, please--I want to be prepared for grandparenthood! Or we can ask Elin, I suppose.
I love your perchant for linguistics, Crit. Have some of it myself! :)
'then Laura is your first cousin once removed'
Wouldn't once removed be a second cousin? Then D'Arcy and Laura would be third cousins? What does once removed mean? And why isn't it first cousins twice removed?
Julie, I'm sure you're right, but help me to understand.
Thanks,
mrsd
I think "once removed" means the child of your first cousin-first cousins a generation removed from each other. Therefore, the daughter of my aunt is my first cousin, and my daughter's first cousin. If cousin Megan had a baby, the baby and Mary would be second cousins.
We just all call each other "family" to keep things simple, because our generations tend to have children young, and we always have 4 generations on the go, and currently some of my cousins are more like nieces and nephews because they're just kids, while I am closer in age to my aunts and uncles. Families do get messy in a hurry!
I think D'Arcy looks cute in the dress, but in this picture at least, not very girly. It does mean they're getting older, though, when you can start telling the boys from the girls!
Oh family connections... complicated... especially when talking step-brothers, half-brothers, ex-step-mother from father's second relationship, her parents being step-grand-parents etc etc... *laughs and sighs*
They just get called by their names and the explanations, if there's time, follow later :)
I have to admit to having never worn a dress, but must get a kilt one day... trouble is there's two clans to choose from... then get on the trampoline... YAY!
Hope the weather's nice, it's raining in CT :(
Ah! But it gets better. Laura's children will be your first cousins twice removed and your son's second cousins once removed.
*high five* Noel has been into the princess thang too, so much so that she wanted a princess cake for my birthday. MY birthday. ;) Anyways, I'm hoping she settles on being an Indian for Halloween....I think all the girls are going to be dressed up as CInderella this year. *sigh*
ANd no matter the hair do, D'arcy's adorable.
Angel the missing Swedish indredient is 'fa' (father) so you have mur-mur and mur-fa (mother's parents) and fa-mur and fa-fa (father's parents. Oh yes, lingustics is great.
mrsd yeah I think the removal is just to signify different generations...
Sara!! good to hear from you. How are you going??
Jay I've never had a really big family - mum and dad are both one of three, but not many cousins, and they didn't keep in close contact with their cousins - lots of moving city...
Lever you've never worn a dress? goodness me! My family is a bit complicated (ex-de facto-step-aunt) but not too bad considering. I have one step grandmother, no blood grandparents still living, but enough uncles and aunts for it to get confusing. Yes, it has been lovely here, but I have discovered that I am one of the 50% of the population who has the herpes virus - I have my first ever coldsore, and I'm not happy about it at all! pththththhthhttptptpthth.
LIz Thanks for that! Lots of information to digest.
BBFK good luck on the Halloween thing. We don't really do it here, in fact I'd better remember to have some stuff on hand in case it happens, Or go out.
Alos been thinking about the use of 'aunty' or 'uncle' for non-family members, but close friends - not something we do in my family...but D's dad do a bit. Also really big in the indigenous communities for elders to be known as 'aunty' or 'uncle' as a term of respect. D'Arcy's dad has a lodger at the moment who is an indigenous man (also a staff member at D's child-care centre) which is partly why I was thinking of it. I also saw a doco on the telly the other night about the fed govt's attitude to the NSW govt's use of local indigenous comunities in sentencing offenders from those communities. Often a council of elders will meet to sentence a local, and use 'shaming' as part of the sentencing...The federal government, of course, has the attitude that it is not appropriate to include any indigenous values anywhere. "they live in NSW they should be subject to the same laws as everyone else. (Never mind that they are the original inhabitants...)Bah, makes me sick.
Goodness, how did I get to be 'anonymous' in the above comment? Weird.
mrsd, it's a lot easier to understand if you draw a picture of the family tree. First cousins would be on the same horizontal line, right? And second cousins would also be on the same horizontal line, below the first cousins. But when they're not on the same horizontal line, they are removed from each other. Oh ha ha, LOL at my own explanation. But seriously, draw a picture and it's pretty obvious.
It's true that English has very few kinship terms compared to other languages & cultures. I would love to be able to distinguish between my sister's husband and my husband's brother, but no, they're both my brothers-in-law. Same thing with maternal vs. paternal grandparents, as the Scandinavians do.
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