Hi,
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E.
Mortality and Fragility. Two things that scar a life. Both can easily lead one to put up defensive walls so high and so thick you'll have a hard time breaking through and breaking down. Once we start trying to immunise ourselves from outside hurt and pain, we start boxing out joy and happiness. In the end, we live a life devoid of colour and sound. In the end, we forget how to live.
I agree with Ghoul. 
ohmygodddd you sound like me - i'm sad all the time!!!!! sometimes i get bad swings too. they can be hard to deal with and some people don't understand. ah well... life....
anyway i've a question. if FA was ugly would she have been so popular in the Malaysian blogsphere?????
Ghoul - I think you hit the nail on the head.
Fortunately, the Teflon Suit is a very complex piece of equipment. So I am both able to repel women in a romantic way, while being best friends with them and able to share quite intimate things with them. (If that makes sense).
Kyels - Yeah, Ghoul is often highly insightful.
Beerbabe - No. I don't think so. Even though I am sure she would still have some popularity through her personality, I do know that men are a very visual bunch.
Still, the question might need to be asked, if she wasn't as good looking as she is, would her personality be the same? Some 'ugly' people I've met are the most beautiful on the inside, and some that I've met have been so scared by the world that they have allowed themselves to become ugly inside. Maybe as a form of defense - maybe as a form of self fulfilling prophecy - or maybe as they themselves can't tell the difference between the inside and outside of people.
But, if everything else was the same for FA other than her looks, then I think she wouldn't have been as popular, but her personality would certainly still draw fans.
Looks aren't everything, but in popularity contests, they are normally the first impression people get before someone speaks or does anything else.
I think Oscar Wilde's'The Picture of Dorian Grey' (or is it Gray, I can't remember), is a good sort of example to what I am talking about. He remained handsome, and as he did uglier secret things, it was reflected in his portrait.
He was able to get away with the ugly things, as people judged him often by his looks, but if they saw his portrait and realised it was his true self, would they have given him the chance. (Not that the book ever mentions what he did which was so bad).
Beerbabe - I should probably add, I'm not actually sad all the time. Just when I sink into a deep dark depression, there is no knowing when I will come out of it.
Actually, I sensed from your writings that we were very much similar in a lot of ways.
But, at the end of the day, when you or I or anyone else (I suspect Suanie and many other bloggers of something similar) falls into one of our 'moods', then the only thing people can do for us, is accept that we are in 'that mood' again and have faith that it will eventually pass.
I often compare mine to long dark tunnels with no light at the end. I can only hope I will come out the other end, and live life with the faith that it will occur. Can last hours, days or even months, but eventually, I do come out of these things.
i know how you feel. my friends and loved ones have grown accustomed to my moods. but when the panic attacks started some of them wanted me to get help. i still don't think popping pills or speaking to a shrink will solve anyone's problems. after all, we live in a problem-filled world. it's how we approach the prob that's all. i'm still melancholic, if you hvn't already seen my blog. but i'll learn to deal with it.
the toughest bit i've had to handle is dealing with ppl who talk behind my back and laugh at me about my moods. it's not easy to deal with the fact that people laugh at your expense. on the good side, me being me enables me to tell who are my true friends and who are not my true friends pretty easily.
i've had a bad day. i'm not too sure if I'll be able to write an entry in my blog. but i'll update it soon.
Beerbabe - I agree that popping pills isn't an answer. My Doctors stuck me on relaxants on two differnet occasions - and my body doesn't like them. I go all suicidal on them (not that I would - I'm smart enough to realise that it's the medicatin and take myself off them)
I don't think my friends or loved ones have ever "understood" my mood problems. Sometimes they are accepting of the fact that they can't do anything, and other times they try very hard to find a 'logical' cause.
Yeah, I've had the 'ppl talking behind my back' experience all too often. Some ppl think you have to be happy 100% of the time. When I meet ppl who are 100% happy all the time, I usually worry about them. They are obviously not in contact with the real world.
I also worry about those people who will 'talk behind your back' in malicious ways and pretend that they're either doing it for YOUR OWN GOOD, or FOR THE GOOD OF THE COMMUNITY , as they think pppl need to be 'WARNED' about you. Never makes sense!
I also avoid ppl who like to tell me what I can and can't do. Someone last year told me I wasn't allowed to visit certain blogs or mention Malaysia or Singapore! I asked the owners of the blogs if they had a problem with me, and they said, 'No!' - And as the 3rd generation of my family to have lived in Malaysia and Singapore, I believe I have a right to talk about it. (Believe me, I only say good things about both places. Love to visit both again very soon).
But ... I'm rambling again!
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