Empress - I am soooo... glad you are doing such a great job of taking care of yourself. And sorry to be so pushy, but I feel like I said "mad coping skills" ..... I recognize them.... plus I feel you utterly and totally on the control thing...
hang in there
Zombie Mom Things did get a little bumpy tonight after our last phone conversation. My neighbors behind me and their friends were rejoicing over the end of the semester. And I felt alone. And then they moved to the hallway outside of my apartment before leaving for elsewhere. And there was lots of bumping against the wall. As in the stuff I have hung was moving. And right before a bitch was about to step out and have a word with them (Screw the fact that I have been known to play music at 3 a.m.), they moved onto parts unknown.
And it's a good thing that I didn't go back because I scare myself looking in the mirror. Tear-stained face. Hair pulled back with no OPH. Frumpy lounging around home clothes. Plus I had been on my way into some quality sleep due to self-medication. Can we give a shout out to sorbet?
It think the fact you're seeking out help shows that you realize things are not well. Getting help is mad coping skills.
Wish there was more I could do. 
Hugs.
Nat Getting help is a newer skill for me compared to the others. I knew that I would need to do it once my stepmother was diagnosed. Because the rest of my family? They will never go to therapy.
"It's about feeling in control when everything around you feels so out of control."
I agree and I'm going through one of those anorectic spells, feeling horrible about my body but keeping the mask of confidence close by to hide behind.
I remember a scene from some movie, Girl Interrupted perhaps, where the doctors are talking about anorectic girls and how they are the hardest/coldest emotionally.
It hit home and helped me to understand myself a little. I don't know if I'll ever try therapy but I tried meds but didn't like them.
Thanks for putting yourself out there and sharing.
Psychomom Therapy has usually been a positive thing for me. Group therapy helps you to discover that you're not alone. And sometimes you discover that things aren't as bad as they seem in comparison to others.
I can see the Girl Interrupted thing. I see it more so as being hard. Which is really a defense mechanism of course. Can't let people get too close.
Most Cancer women I have known have been like you, that they spend a lot of time being caretakers for others and don't end up dealing with their own emotions as well because they are so busy working on helping other people. I work with a woman in her 60s who is like that, and I remember I got her some lotions and scrubs a few years ago and she was like, oh wow I love it, I never use products like this.
Taking care of yourself and laying out your problems to someone is really difficult. Even going into group for years, there are things I keep shut up.
Going out for my bday would be hella fun. I've got no future plans other than going away on the 30th, so anytime works for me. It would be fun to hang out with Zombie Mom too if she's up for it and anyone else who needs another night out.
Sorry I haven't been around, but I've been "coping" too. I have another court date next week, and shit is hectic.
Hopefully, we'll talk soon.
I'm glad you're getting help.
Fluffycat Yeah, I think it's a Cancer trait -- to be everyone's mother.
Oh, and Zombie Mom and I know just the place to hit.
buzzgirl I've got my fingers crossed for you.
Hey! You went for help because you needed to. That's good. Hooray for you. Tears are fine.
-kisses-
Hell Yes!!! Count me in for a Fluffy Cat birthday celebration!!! And then we are onto one for the Empress!!!
Yikes, sorry to BG is going through it again - shout out to ya' girl- hang in there. When your shiz' gets fixed up we have to go celebrate that too..
Uh... clearly, I am all about going out.
Empress - will give you a holla' tonight. I am on BART so limited access to my cell.
Cookiecrumb I like to think of my ability to ask for help as a sign that perhaps I am mature after all. 
And the crying thing? My family is big on saying, "Don't cry." To the point that they just about have lists of when it is and when it isn't appropriate to cry. Oh, I cry. It's just usually a rare -- and private -- thing.
Zombie Mom BG my ass. Whatev! And you know I'm always down for a par-tay.
Commenting by HaloScan
